Confidence | Page 54 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Women on Pedestals

women on pedestalsIn modern day Western society, the gods and goddesses have largely disappeared. In the minds of many men, however, they seem to have been replaced by beautiful women. I can think of no other explanation for the amount of awe and reverence given to beautiful women by many men; it must be that these men see these women as goddesses. They certainly treat them as though they were.

There’s been a certain degree of drooling over pretty girls since the dawn of man. Helen was, after all, the face that launched a thousand ships; had she been less beautiful, perhaps we’d still have Troy today.

But what we see today is exacerbated by media, and it’s become damn near a compulsion. Men watch models and actresses and porn starlets all day long, and become obsessed with finding women who look just like them. And when they find the women who look that way, they lose their cool, get weak in the knees, and turn to silly putty.

On Being Authoritative

I was having a very good discussion with a good friend about another mutual friend of ours. All three of us are men with a reasonably extensive background in seduction, and a history of both taking a number of lovers and teaching a number of students. And what we were talking about was the tendency of men like us to sometimes be a bit… overbearing.

authoritative

What I came to realize was this: because of our unique situations and lifestyles, we tend to become authoritative in tone and personality. And in some ways – primarily with women, and in business – that’s quite beneficial. In others – such as with good friends – it’s detrimental.

Troubleshooting Your Opening

troubleshooting your openingHad a discussion with a friend of mine the other day where he asked me if I ever got the scenario of walking up to a girl, engaging her, and having her blankly stare at me and not respond. He asked because he wondered what it meant – in other words, what he might be doing wrong.

And it touched on something I’d been thinking about recently: on how perceptions of “rejection” change as your understanding of women evolves.

Five years ago, I took any form of non-engagement by a girl I’d started speaking to as a deep, personal rejection. It was as though she had assessed my person and found me unworthy. I felt hurt and insulted.

Nowadays, I recognize that reaction I used to have for what it was: a combination of a lack of understanding of women, and a lack of any kind of abundance mentality. Because the world is not so simple as I assumed it was back then.

Think in Numbers: Talking to Lots of Girls

If you’ve ever looked at a pretty girl and suddenly felt a surge of nervousness at the idea of going to say hi to her, you’ll get something out of this article. Because what you were doing when you felt that nervousness was you weren’t thinking in numbers.

Most men who are successful with women have a number of similar traits you can distill and learn from. One of those traits is thinking in numbers. That is to say, thinking to themselves not, “I’m going to go meet that girl… I hope she likes me!” but rather, “I’m going to go meet every cute girl I see, until I find one who likes me.”

Get Girls Chasing: Give a Little to Get a Lot

For use with girls who like you a good deal.

So, anyone who’s been following my writing recently knows I’ve been talking a lot about chase frames lately. Along with speed, persistence, and understatement, chase frames are one of the things I’m quite big on these days.

In fleshing out the right description of how chase frames work though, there was one detail I neglected to mention in that first post on them linked to above; namely, that to get a girl to chase, you usually need to give her a little bit first.

get girls chasing

Think about it like this. You walk into a bar and go sit down and order your drink. A pretty girl walks in and sits down two seats away from you. How do you get her to start investing in you and pursuing you?

Persist In Your Insistence

Getting investment from women is a crucial element of your success with them. Men who fail to get investment fail to move things forward with the women in their lives – it’s as simple as that. Investment is vital.

persist in your insistence

So what happens when you ask for compliance and get a “no”? What happens when you say, “Come with me,” and she just shakes her head and stays put?

A common response from a lot of guys is they back down; they retreat from their compliance requests or compliance demands, and forget about it. The following scenario is typical in a number of guys’ interactions:

Absolute Abundance

“Abundance Mentality” is something that’s frequently prescribed as an answer to men’s neediness issues: approach anxiety, having a “weird” or “awkward” vibe, escalation hesitation, failure to invite women home. Anything where a guy comes off as hesitant or is nervous about achieving a certain outcome.

Men who know there are women everywhere, and know they can get women whenever they want, goes the thinking, won’t worry about it.

But in fact, a standard abundance mentality will only get you halfway there.

Elite Eye Contact

Every guy new to the social arts works on his eye contact. He practices holding eye contact, maintaining it even in the face of social pressure from others who continue to hold eye contact back. He learns the importance of maintaining eye contact while speaking with and listening to others. He learns not to shift his eyes around from eye to eye while looking at someone else.

Goal Setting

Goal setting is one of those things that isn’t a tactic, isn’t a technique, and isn’t a methodology, per se, for getting girls or having relationships. It isn’t a cool new trick a guy can go out and employ and net himself a cute, sexy new companion right away, or a means of making the girls he has right now swoon all the harder.

What goal setting is, rather, is a way of getting yourself results in both the short- and the long-term that you likely wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near as quickly without setting goals.

The Best Defense Is... No Defense

best defense no defenseIn competitive endeavors, it’s important to maintain a stout defense. Whether discussing military operations, or man-to-man combat, or sports matches, or guarding a company’s secrets against industrial espionage, it is of vital importance to have a strong, effective defense protecting oneself from one’s opponents.

But seduction is not a military operation. Nor are relationships competitive sports matches. And a lot of guys don’t seem to get this.