Mindsets

Welcome back to another episode of Dating Mechanics, everyone!

I’m pleased to announce the return of Franco Lombardi, our fearless moderator of the Girls Chase boards, for an interview on how discipline affects your success in dating. This is one of the most important concepts that anyone should make an effort to learn and understand regardless of skill level.

There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.

People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.

Why?

Simple.

If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.

Moral policing is about power and nothing else.

The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiority – is to call someone prideful.

The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.

Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.

But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.

And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.

That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?

Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.

This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.

The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.

I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.

As you go out to talk to girls, you will come into hot streaks… and stumble into cold ones. This article is about why that happens.

I have on multiple occasions written about momentum as it relates to seduction. It’s one of those underlying mechanisms that profoundly affects your vibe, mindset, and results with women.

Today I will focus on some pickup theory that will help you make sense of the “unlearning mechanism” that takes place in your journey. I’ll discuss why many can experience some negative momentum after a positive streak. In fact, I will explore how there is an equilibrium effect at work that balances things out.

Momentum is the overall state of mind in which you find yourself during a period of time that snowballs and affects your results moving forward. Positive momentum denotes a good state of mind, which in turn, results in a sexier vibe. You get onto a hot streak. Negative momentum, however, generates a negative state of mind, giving you an unsexy vibe. You slide into a cold streak.

Momentum can snowball in a positive or a negative direction. For instance, if you approach three girls and they all seem receptive to you, positive momentum is created and your vibe becomes sexier and more attractive. If you get rejected harshly three times in a row, the momentum works the opposite way.

The example above is a case of what I have referred to as micro momentum. It’s the momentum that affects you on a micro level – during a night out, for example.

Macro momentum, on the other hand, takes into account the bigger picture – the overall momentum over a longer period of time. For instance, some of you may have noticed how summer holidays tend to be more wild. You may rack up lays during the summer, feeling like a true god of seduction. Things may even start to seem too easy and straight forward. And you feel this way until you experience some disruption in macro momentum. Let’s say that during the winter you may, for whatever reason, have less success with women or find it very difficult to meet new women. You then develop a case of negative macro momentum.

Desire – your real desire – is a deep motivating force, and immensely attractive to the opposite sex. Tap into it and use it well, and you can do the near-impossible.

I received some very positive feedback from my article on the Interest-Preference-Desire model. If you haven’t read that, I suggest going back and taking a peek, because as a follow-up on that model, today I’m going to dive deeper into what “desire” is and how it affects our lives.

Desire is not only applicable to the process of seduction and attracting women, it plays a key role in the pursuit of our goals and how we live – specifically, the choices we make.

In the last article, I concluded that among the concepts of interest, preference, and desire, desire is the ultimate tool that actually results in committed action. There’s greater nuance when it comes to desire, because desire itself can be more fluctuating and relative. Some people never experience a constant desire for something long term, while others desire an outcome so badly that they continue to chase the desire even after it’s already been fulfilled multiple times.

What gives?

I’ll break this down in a hopefully easy-to-digest form, but do keep in mind that there is a lot of psychology and philosophy involved when it comes to desire.

The most attractive thing to women is neither youth nor beauty. So why do so many guys think girls only want good-looking guys or young guys?

Okay, I want to talk about the “girls only date good-looking guys” or “girls only date young guys” thing. I have more intellectual articles against these positions and I’ll share them with you in a moment. But intellectual arguments aren’t always the best way to get the message across, especially when guys are deep in a certain viewpoint.

First let me share a comment from a reader of my “When Do You Get Too Old to Party or Meet Girls?” article from last week:

“Keep deluding yourself that youll be more attractive to women as you get older. I have never heard a younger woman say Kevin Spacy or Sean Connery was “hot.” Only older women. Women in the past had to settle down with older men because they didnt have the means of supporting themselves. Thats it. If she had the choice and the income theres no way she would choose him over a younger guy. Plus, do you think its right that older men had relationships and children with teenage girls? Its a pretty messed up system because a girl hasnt even lived her life, and you know if the girl could support herself theres no way she would go for that older man6. Girls go for older men because of convenience, not because of attraction.”

To which I responded with a screen grab of a bunch of young chicks swooning over Old Man Connery on Yahoo Answers, plus a picture of Sean having a merry laugh:

There are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of younger men than anywhere else on Earth, who remain very attractive to younger women even into quite old age. And there are loads of men everywhere, including in the West, which is an environment more shifted in favor of good-looking men than anywhere else on Earth, who are very attractive to women despite plain or terrible faces. This is undeniable. The only way you can pretend these men don’t exist is if you plug your ears and shut your eyes and make loud noises to yourself every time one of these guys crosses your path.

But this willful blindness/ignorance guys engage in about this subject runs deeper than just “I don’t think that ever happens or if it does it must be super rare.” It’s actually about guys with zero or very little experience with women, who do not understand women, trying to tell men with lots of experience with women who understand women very well that actually those men have no idea what they are talking about and in fact women are actually some other way.

The guys who say stuff like this are never guys you would take woman advice from in the real world. From 30 feet away you can tell these guys don’t do well with girls and don’t understand them.

I’m not trying to pick on these guys. There are a lot of men who don’t understand women, and it’s always been that way historically. Women are hard to fathom. This entire website is dedicated to helping men who don’t understand women come to have a better understanding of them.

But when you get guys who do not understand women trying to talk about how they know women so well and that actually all these things that are commonplace things that happen with women are in fact impossible and never happen, you get this weird bizarro world perspective on dating emanating from certain corners of the male sectors of the Internet.

And we need to talk about that.

It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.

Men who sleep with large numbers of women typically are less than normal guys. Whether due to ego or antisocial personality, they stand apart.

A brief warning. In this article, I’ll be shining a light on the darker side of seducers and seduction. I know that a lot of our readers often wonder: what is it like when you’re on top of your game and regularly taking new women to bed? What does the life of such men look like? How do the seducers with strong hedonistic tendencies think? What would it be like to look through their eyes?

These are questions that once plagued my mind several years ago. And I believe it would be quite educational to answer some of them, so I will do so in today’s article. But like I said – it’s going to be a bit dark.

I’m basing this article off my experiences from the last year or so (as well as many conversations with fellow seducers who have been operating at this level – and beyond – for several years).

When you’re ready, feel free to join me down the rabbit hole.