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Mindsets

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A Perceptive Man, a Responsive Man, a... Sensitive Man?

Chase Amante's picture

sensitive man
The word ‘sensitive’ has lost it’s old meaning. It now means something weak or womanly. But what it used to be was something so much more.

I think we need to reclaim the word ‘sensitive’.

The word no longer means what it’s supposed to mean.

Somewhere along the line, it grew warped, twisted. Perverted. Now, if you call a man ‘sensitive’, it’s a backhanded compliment, at best. You’re calling him a motherly nurturer. At worst, you’re saying he overreacts, is too emotional, and too womanly.

But it hasn’t always meant this. And in fact, the concept it used to describe – a concept we no longer have a perfect word for in English anymore, if we yield ‘sensitive’ completely to too-soft men and guys who think the friend zone is the surest path to sexy times – is one every man who wants to do well socially, romantically, or sexually must ultimately strive to make use of, or perpetually struggle.

The Slave to Pussy™ Argument

Chase Amante's picture

slave to pussy
Some men argue that to learn game is to be a “slave to pussy”. Is this argument valid? Or is it a flawed argument that misses the big picture?

If you’ve been working on your game for any not too-short period of time, you’ve probably heard the Slave to Pussy™ Argument. That argument goes something like this:

Don’t waste your time on girls, you’re just being a slave to pussy. Instead you should be hunting, fishing, working out, stacking money, and making something of yourself. Let the women come to you.

I suppose you might also call this the Field of Dreams Argument: if you build it, they will come.

Get rich enough, jacked enough, and masculine enough first. Then, girls will begin to pop into your life all on their own.

Obviously, if you know me, or this website, you know I’m going to tell you this argument is bunk. The idea that you don’t need to learn game to do better with girls (or put in the practice to solidify that game) is one we’ll tear apart here.

But before we even dive into these arguments, I’ll point out one simple flaw of this argument. That is its setup of game (learning to do well with girls) and fundamentals (turning yourself into a man with attractive passive value) as two opposing, mutually exclusive forces – when the truth is, these two forces are complementary. That is to say, learning game does not stop you from working out or stacking money; and you should develop yourself in multiple ways (yes, learn game, but also lift, and improve your financial prospects too. And read a lot of good books). We’ll dive into this further below... But first, a comment on the men who don’t even think your fundamentals are worth improving.

The Tao of Seduction

Michael Chief's picture

tao of seduction
Tao is the Eastern philosophy of emptying one’s cup. It has a lot to teach about seduction… Namely, about domination of seduction, vs. submission to it.

Editor’s Note: this is our first post from Michael Chief, a long-time veteran of the seduction community. Michael kicks off today with an inner game focus, about the Tao of seduction. Please let us know if you enjoy inner game oriented articles like this in the comments below the article, and if so we’ll try to do more of them. –CA


Every seducer worth his mettle knows that great Casanova quote: “I don’t conquer, I submit.”

We know that the true power of seduction is to submit to the higher power of nature within us as opposed to trying to control nature with our own will. But that somehow paradoxically gives us greater seductive abilities, or so it seems.

Seduction is full of paradoxes like this, such as the ever-famous paradox of desire: the more we want something, the more difficult it is to obtain, and the less we want something, the easier it is to obtain. In pick-up, we translate this to mean that neediness is unattractive and that women are more attracted to us when we practice non-attachment and are genuinely not needy.

While such paradoxes can often prove to be challenging to understand, let alone understandable enough for us to use them to guide our lives, there is an ancient philosophy that gives us a tool to help us in our quest to become the best seducers and lovers we can possibly be.

That ancient philosophy is called Taoism, and the tool is called Wu Wei.

You and Your Game Attract a Certain Kind of Girl

Chase Amante's picture

attract a type of girl
You attract the women you’ve tailored yourself to attract. But that’s not all: the women you do well with tailor you further still.

I’ve talked about this over the years in various articles. However, it’s worth giving its own proper treatment, if only to make sure everyone who reads here gets this message.

There are some girls who are going to like you more. Some girls who will like you a lot more. And there are some girls who are going to be less excited by you.

Who these girls are is determined by two (2) things:

  1. You (and your fundamentals), and
  2. Your game

If you’re great with athletic girls who love the outdoors, for instance, you’ll tend to struggle a lot more with bookworm girls who are well-read and love to bury their noses in tomes. If you do awesome with alternative-scene girls from electronic dance clubs, you’ll usually struggle more with flashy, aloof girls at high-end nightclubs.

The better you are with one demographic of girls (i.e., the more you specialize), the worse you will tend to do with other, dissimilar demographics to her. Great fundamentals and game will take the edge off specialization (so the penalties for specializing are not as severe), but it never goes away completely.

Why should this be so?

I’m going to take you through the ‘why’s. Then, I’m going to help you decide what to specialize in... and whether to resist too much specialization and be a generalist instead.

Book Review: The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi

Varoon Rajah's picture

the rational male
A review of The Rational Male, a book focused at upending fem-centric thinking in men and teaching them to think like men again.

Rollo Tomassi’s book, The Rational Male, is an amalgamation of essays from content on his own website, The Rational Male, and other dating advice forums where he frequently contributes. I came across this book by chance on Amazon and found the content interesting enough to warrant a look.

This series of writings tunes men in to the dynamics of the human sexual marketplace through an exploration of human behavioral and evolutionary psychology, and demonstrates how such concepts show up culturally and politically. Tomassi’s intent is to educate the average man about his sexual potential, options, leverage, and strategies in his general relationship with women while exploring women’s sexual strategies, relationship strategies, and social conventions that we see commonplace today. Rollo summarizes this himself near the end of his book:

My intent with all this is to illustrate how the reality in which we find things ‘normal’ is rendered by fem-centric influence. Across ethnicities, and encompassing all manner of social diversity, this influence is so insaturated into our culture, laws, media, entertainment, from our collective social consciousness to our individual psyches that we simply take it for granted as the operative framework in which we live. I realize this is a tough pill to swallow, because male imperative does in fact intersect with female imperative depending on mutual goals. However, the point is that of operative framework, the reality we function in, is primarily defined by the feminine.

– p. 266

The now well-known men’s self improvement community, which includes the “manosphere,” consists of many trains of thought and communities devoted to understanding the masculine-feminine dynamic. Rollo’s background consists of what he terms a “rock-star” 20s that led to pursuing a university degree in behaviorism psychology at age 32. This, coupled with his intense life experience and his near decade use of forums as a testing ground for ideas on sexual dynamics and attracting women, led him to be a critical author in the manosphere and men’s rights community.

This book is based on many psychological concepts, and also ventures deep into the darker elements of the masculine-feminine dynamic and human sexuality. I caution readers toward its content and suggest reading with a curious mind. I consider Rollo’s book more appropriate for intermediates looking to advance their skill set to the next level in their relationship with women, as it is critical to develop healthy mindsets about women and sexuality in order to use that power responsibility.

Power is power, and we have a responsibility as men to use it ethically – as seen in the core philosophies of Girls Chase, we always practice from a mindset of love and adventure, never from one of hate, revenge, or negativity. However, for many men who find this community on their own, they see a world that bitterly challenges deeply rooted beliefs. From the book:

Game was a wondrous tool set of skills, but without the insight or foresight to deal with what these tools could build, it was potentially like giving children dynamite.

– p. 113

With that in mind, let’s explore.

Don't Let a Bad Rejection Ruin Your Night Out

Denton Fisher's picture

bad rejection
Sometimes a girl rejects you much harsher than she needed to. If you let it, this can ruin your night. Yet, it does not need to.

One of the things you are not going to avoid while learning success with women is the occasional tough rejection.

Maybe she freaked out unnecessarily.

Maybe she said something that felt like a knife shoved in your sternum.

Either way, it sucks when a girl rejects you, especially when it comes out of the blue and is tactlessly delivered. But what if I were to tell you that the water runs deep on this issue and everything is not as it appears? What if you could completely turn around the way you see rejection?

Optimize Your Nervous System (and Gain State Control)

Halvor Jannike's picture

optimize nervous system
How good are you at using what’s in your brain? Fight-or-flight responses in social situations are common – yet you’re not bound to them.

Most pick-up theory is not well informed about the workings of the brain and the nervous system, which causes many guys to severely underperform in terms of their social state control. The author has studied this topic from both theoretical and practical angles for years and would like to share his experience on this issue.

In pick-up theory, state is used as a description of both the mental state and the resulting physical state of a person. Field reports often mention how the “state” of those involved changes during an evening or day out. “State” can more or less be used synonymously with “mood.”

State is an extremely important factor in one’s ability to perform seduction, in that the results of a given action will be heavily dependent on the mood of the person performing it – for obvious reasons. Your mood can be said to be the sum of your earlier interactions, and if your mood is bad, it means that the world has treated you badly – hardly a turn-on. Conversely, a stable, good mood will tell a history of being treated well by the world. And those who are constantly able to stay in a stable, good mood, no matter how bad the situation is, will be looked up to.

In evolutionary terms, your mood is a fitness indicator similar to looking physically healthy. Controlling your mood is therefore of utmost importance in nearly any social setting – and this is what “state control” refers to.

Are You Spinning Yourself? (Almost Certainly)

Denton Fisher's picture

spinning yourself
Spin is used to influence how others think about things. But are you using spin on your own thoughts? Odds are, you are – and it risks sabotaging you.

Some of my greatest teachers in seduction were my coworkers in car sales. In a world in which they were highly distrusted, they were still able to finagle hundreds of thousands of dollars from unassuming customers.

I personally do not condone some of the tactics I was taught, and I probably would not teach most of them for morality’s sake. But a few ideas and concepts were definitely worth teaching, and there is one in particular I would like to share with you today.

That particular technique is the technique called “spinning”; or, “taking off the market.”

Tactics Tuesdays: Fixing a Poor Tactical Focus

Chase Amante's picture

tactical reset
What happens if you just aren’t getting anywhere with girls? Should you grind it out? No – instead, enter the tactical reset.

Have you ever seen those a guy who tries to learn game, but no matter what, he just can’t get results?

He could spend months – or in the extreme, years – and never progress beyond getting phone numbers from girls (that never lead to dates) or make-outs with them (that never lead to sex).

Hopefully, you haven’t experienced anything quite so bad (the worst-case guys do seem to be a small minority). But maybe you’ve seen some flavor of this... You’ve hit a plateau, tried to grind it out, and just nothing was working. How do you deal with these situations?

In today’s article, I’m going to share with you the approach I’ve found most helpful for resolving this issue: it’s what I call a ‘tactical reset’.

Before we get to that though, let’s talk about why these hang-ups happen.

How to Become a Centered Warrior

Denton Fisher's picture

centered warrior
Being centered offers one of the biggest leaps forward with dating, self, and life. There’s no easy way to it – it comes from enduring pain and trial.

The protagonist walks toward the camera, face emotionless, calm. Then suddenly an explosion erupts behind him. Does he flinch away from it. Does surprise touch his face. No. He stays calm as the world is blown to bits – and he’s seemingly untouched from it all as he nonchalantly walks toward the camera.

You have probably seen countless versions of this scene in quite a few movies, and it has probably sent goose bumps creeping up your arms as a side effect. What is it about this scene that puts us in such a state of awe?

Why is something like this so inspiring – and duplicated so many times over? Many of us would like to not just see this as a protagonist on the screen, but a hopeful reflection of ourselves. We want to be the guy who cannot be affected by the world no matter how chaotic it is. We want what we see on the television to be the reflection we see in the mirror. We want to be grounded just like that figure so often portrayed.

The concept of being grounded has always been the hardest for me to explain, let alone teach. It is one of those things I cannot show on a boot camp or fix over the course of days or even weeks. It is something you have to choose to do in your heart. Because, as cheesy as it sounds, only once you decide you are going to do what it takes to deepen this part of you, only then can you achieve it.

Firstly, what is being grounded – what makes a centered warrior? Think of waves crashing on rocks. Are the rocks strong and resolute, or are they weak and brittle? Do they stand for ages, or do they quickly become dislodged or shattered like obsidian? Or maybe it is a tree in a storm, standing tall and unbroken, maybe bending under the torrent of wind or outright being broken in half. The idea is that no matter what is thrown at you, you are always at ease, completely in control of your emotions.

When you talk to a stranger, this is one of the first things they may notice about your character, either consciously or subconsciously – not by what you do, but by what you don’t do. It is as simple as displaying a warm tone despite receiving anything but. A steady gaze. Lack of fidgeting. Being grounded is being unaffected when the surroundings get testy. When a guy is drunkenly belligerent and tries to push your buttons, do you let him? When a girl calls you ugly, do you care?