Female Mind

All women have a wild side. But they won’t show it except to certain types of men. The pleasure-loving man knows how to bring this side out.

Some guys will tell you to get a beautiful girl, treat her the same as any girl. Good advice, but it’s worth keeping in mind: she isn’t, actually, the same as any girl.

Uh, yeah. Duh.

But every so often, I’ll hear some guy say something like “You should just treat that girl like she’s a 7.”

To an extent, I agree, but that doesn’t mean that if you walk up to any stunner on the street and treat her like you would any other girl, you’re automatically going to sleep with her.

Your initial cockiness might intrigue her and get you to the hook point, but very quickly she’s going to find out if you’re really as good as you pretend to be. And if you’re not her superior, she will quickly expose you.

The girl who’s new to town is easier to chat up, get dates with, sleep with, and make your girlfriend. But why? It’s down to social rank and newcomer identity.

Wherever you look, the ‘new girl in town’ phenomenon is in evidence. Specifically, the ‘new girl in town is easy’ phenomenon:

• Female university students are easier to bed in their first two semesters in school than at any other time in their college careers

• The new intern at work is far and away easier to bed than the girl you’ve worked with for the past two years

• Girls who’ve just joined an online dating platform are significantly easier to score meet ups with than women who’ve been on there three plus months
  

• Girls you meet at bars or the gym or salsa class who’ve just moved to town are easier to sleep with and date than girls who’ve been there a year or longer

• Women who are fresh off the boat (FOB) from a foreign country are way easier to bed than foreign-born women who’ve been in your country three or four years
  

The first few times you hook up with a girl who’s new – in school, at work, in town, in your country, or in any scene – you might assume it’s a fluke. But when it starts to happen again and again, you can begin to wonder something else: could it be that women who are new to the scene are easier in general?

As it turns out, they are.

We’re going to talk a bit about why. And then we’ll talk about where to find women who are freshly arrived (for all your dating and mating purposes).

If she has sex with you fast, does that mean she’s easy? Well… it might. Yet you need a bigger sample size than one (i.e., just you and her) to really know.

One of the more prevalent notions about women and time-to-bed (I’m just going to call it ‘TTB’ in this article) is that the faster a girl gets in bed with you, the sluttier she is.

This is not just an Internet meme. It existed long before the Internet did. It probably goes back as far as humans have been a mostly-monogamous species and have possessed language (that is to say, this meme’s at least a million years old).

Like much wisdom that’s been with us for a long time, it’s rooted in truth. On average, easier women have shorter TTBs (times-to-bed). The harder a girl is to get, the longer her TTB is, on average.

BUT, there is a but. There’s a big but. A Kim Kardashian-with-gluteal-implants sized but.

To be more accurate, there are several big buts.

And if you don’t know what they are, there’s a not-insignificant chance you will ditch a low partner count girl who’s never moved as fast with a guy as she did with you and never will again... or wife up a high partner count girl (with similarly high predilections to stray) after mistaking her for a cagey, hard-to-get one because she knew how to play the game (or just wasn’t that into you).

Women have a lot of very high standards. They just don’t always stick to those standards, is all. In fact, they usually abandon a lot of them.

I had a funny insight recently. Well, more a new way to look at something I already was aware of, but the new way of looking at it instantly made me go, “Ah, that’s how it is, yes.”

I started writing an article about girlfriend retention earlier. I got about a third of the way into it, got pulled away from it, and don’t really feel like going back to it right now. Then I started writing one on hooking up with girls who are horny when you’re not the most attractive guy in the room, but went on a big tangent and kind of lost my train of thought so shelved that one for now too (lost trains of thought happen sometimes when you write).

Anyway, in the ‘keeping a girlfriend’ one, I embedded a YouTube video of a hit 1970s soul song where the female singer talks about trying to hang onto a broke male partner she feeds and clothes and houses and whom she discovers is having an affair. It’s a great song (the single sold a million copies in its first eight weeks), and people love it... but the YouTube comment section is filled with women proclaiming how they would never tolerate a man straying on them and how the singer needs to find herself a new man.

And I thought “It is so funny how women do that.” Because I have had numerous girlfriends – beautiful, intelligent, charismatic girlfriends, with no shortage of male suitors and no lack of self awareness – declare to me they would never tolerate a man seeing other women while with them, even as they knew I saw other women while with them. I have watched these same women tell other women no woman should tolerate this and that any woman with such a man ought to leave him. Then come right back to me after these little rants to others, happy as pups.

It’s not just about fidelity. Women do it with many things. There was a poll I came across where someone asked Japanese women what they’d like to change about their man. 40% of women said a bit more muscle, 25% of women said more wealth, and another 25% said they wanted more personality. One male commenter on the poll results remarked “So just get muscular, be rich, and have a great personality. Easy!” (that’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t catch it). Another commenter remarked that the problem women face is all the ripped, rich guys with great personalities are gay.

And it’s true (the standards disconnect, not the gay thing. Although that is kind of true too)! If you ask most men what they want in a girlfriend, you’ll get a couple of items. Cute, nice, submissive, can cook and clean. That’s about what most guys want. Maybe one or two other things, like likes to dress sexy or is into this or that leisure activity. Many women have full-on wish lists of 30 to 70 qualities they want a man to have. Yet, again – reality doesn’t match women’s words. Look at the guys these girls with huge long lists of things they want date, and you discover their actual real world partners don’t have most of what these women say they want.

So why do women say they want all these things, and then turn around and date men who don’t have any of them? And then they keep saying they want those things anyway, in spite of their dating histories to the contrary?

Are women just nuts?

As a woman ages, her tastes in men change. What does an under-21 girl prefer that women 32+ do not? Read on and find out.

As a man, your taste in women may or may not have changed as you’ve aged. I know a few guys whose tastes have changed over the years. Though I know many more guys whose tastes haven’t. I can tell you the only difference between the women I’m drawn to now and those I was drawn to 10 years ago is the girls I’m drawn to now are usually cuter. That is more simply a factor of having more choice with women now than I had when I was young, overweight, and romantically unskilled.

Women’s tastes in men, on the other hand, go through some major evolutions as they age. From between a girl’s late teens to her mid-30s, she shifts her tastes often dramatically.

Talk to most single women in their 30s about younger women and you’ll hear such women pan younger women’s standards in men. “Young women have the worst taste in men,” they’ll tell you. “The guys they go for are assholes with attitude. They have no taste.”

Male pundits normally regard this as a way for an older woman to make herself look more valuable in the dating market (i.e., she is more ‘refined’ than ignorant younger women) in order to make up for some of the lost value of her faded youth. And this “younger women are silly and foolish” frame does help older women do that. But there is a deeper reason so many single women in their 30s feel this way about those younger versions of themselves on the dating scene.

Before we talk about that though, we’ll talk about the different sorts of men women at different ages are most drawn toward. As always, game and fundamentals play a huge role here – the better yours are, the less you need to worry about fitting a certain template, and the better you’ll do even within that template.

Note that the age ranges we’ll discuss below are generalities. Some women may be more or less ‘mature’ than their ages (we’ll talk about that a bit below too). But in general, for the majority of women, you should find these age ranges fairly accurate.

A woman can be fickle and changeable. But why is this so? Science shows us this fickleness is an inherent aspect of female decision making.