Female Mind

As a woman’s beauty increases, so too does her subtlety… while her number of sex partners falls. Do you recognize the signs beautiful women give you?

Recently I found myself in an unfamiliar part of a familiar town. Kind of on the outskirts. And something stuck out at me: the women here were, on average, less attractive than the women in the city center I usually frequent. More unattractive women, and more women who were only somewhat cute; fewer knockout stunners. But the approach invitations I received were much more blatant.

Whereas in the city center, I might sense a girl glance at me, then turn toward her and she’d already have looked away, brushing back her hair as she did... now, in the outskirts, I’d sense a girl look at me, turn toward her, and she’d keep her eyes trained right on mine. Whereas in the usual part of town, a beautiful girl might come hover somewhat near me, now cute (but not beautiful) girls would walk up and position themselves blatantly next to me. The difference was plain as a tree on a hilltop.

This is something I’ve noticed, come to think of it, on the outskirts of other familiar towns as well. The girls on the outskirts are often not quite as cute, but they are more obvious. I never expressly equated outskirts with less cute, more obvious girls before, but when I look back, it’s often been the case that a good chunk of the ‘easy venues’ I have on tap are located on the outskirts of town. These are venues where the girls you meet will be cute or pretty but not stunning, but they make up for it by being more obvious in their interest and less coy to your approach.

There are other factors likely at play on the outskirts; girls in the city center are in more of a hurry, are busier, and pay less attention to those around them, for one. They also tend to be more status conscious, which means any too-obvious signals carry more risk for them. They are also more ambitious, which means more careful screening of interested men. Girls in the outskirts are less hurried and have more time to check out and throw signals at men, and less status-risk to worry them. They’re also less interested in screening you, and more interested in whether you can provide a fun time or not.

Yet even accounting for factors like this, all other things being even, there remains a clear attractiveness-obviousness correlation; the less attractive the girl, the more obvious she makes her signals.

The less cute a girl is (or, at least, the less hot she is), the more blatant are her signals. Also, not only are more attractive women less aggressive; they’re subtler, too. The cuter a girl gets, the more coy she gets.

Which makes sense, of course... When you’re more in-demand, you can hold out for a better deal. You can play more coy. When you’re not as in-demand, you must chase down the deals yourself, and no longer have the luxury to hang back and wait for the ones you want to come to you.

But does this mean beautiful women are out of most men’s grasps?

Over the years, the tactics needed to turn on Western girls have shifted. As sex destigmatizes, subtlety has gone out the window.

Women use ambiguity for three (3) reasons: to expose a man’s true colors, to retain room to maneuver, and to preserve their social reputations.

Maybe an hour ago, I finished reviewing a lesson from The Dating Artisan, part of my upcoming master class on succeeding with women. For each of these videos, I have to review once to make sure there’s nothing that snuck in we should edit out (our DoP’s toes sneaking into the frame have been a constant annoyance), as well as to add text and citations I want added. Then I have to review the final video a second time to make sure everything checks out. Each of these videos is around 50 minutes long on average, and there are about 50 of them... so you can imagine why it’s taking me so long (that, and that we still need to build the site / file delivery system / etc. for this thing).

Anyway, at multiple points in this lesson, our actress on the shoot claims she would not like if a guy did something to her I described (in the case I’ll tell you about, it was slapping a naughty girl on the butt). Meanwhile, even as she claims this, she laughs and becomes excited and flirtatious. At one point I highlight this and say, “She’s saying ‘no’, but at some point with a guy she likes, it’s going to be ‘yes’.” If you’re at all good at reading women’s signals, it’s pretty obvious when viewing the clip how the idea affects her. Not only does she get excited in the moment, but her flirting and laughter dial up dramatically after this incident for the rest of the lesson.

If you’re an old pro, you see a situation like this and grin and go, “Yeah... girls!” You love it. It’s fun. It’s a big part of what makes the whole thing exciting.

But if you’re not so good with girls yet, this is likely to be a point of major frustration for you. “Why the living bleeding hell won’t women just say what they want?”

Because sometimes they do.

But other times they don’t.

Sometimes they say exactly what they want. Sometimes they say the opposite of what they want.

How the heck is a guy who’s not good with women yet supposed to decipher all this?

Zan Perrion’s book The Alabaster Girl contains masterful philosophy on women. Here are 5 of its most stand-out points.

There is a beast in this world who walks around in the form of a man.

He doesn’t advertise himself too much, but he has been a constant yet subtle presence ever since the seduction community came out of the basement. This subtlety and grace speaks even more to his level of mastery.

He has been dedicated not to fame, glory, or riches (all of which he deserves), but to his passion: to be the greatest lover of women the world has ever seen.

His name... is Zan Perrion.

And if you navigate the treasure room that is his book, The Alabaster Girl, you will quickly discover that he is in contention for the title he seeks.

When you first encounter the flow of Zan’s prose in The Alabaster Girl, you may think you’ve stumbled upon an 18th century poet’s lost writings.

This is a mistake, and one he addresses in his videos about the book (and if you have trouble understanding his sometimes-cryptic language, especially if you’re still inexperienced, these videos will help clarify his thoughts):

Zan is anything but a hopeless romantic. If you’re experienced with women, you will see how the dark truths of male and female sexuality tinge the edges of each page and fill his flowery prose with rustic realism. He will say something so nonchalantly that if you simply gloss over it, you’ll miss how darkly beautiful it is, and how true.

Or, if you’re familiar with his old mASF forum postings, you will know personally how much of a scoundrel he is (a charge he accepts in the opening pages of his book). Eighty-nine lays in one year, cuckolding Johnny Depp in a nightclub, dating and living with two girls who are best friends... he is no saint, and that’s why he knows women and truly loves them. He embraces both the darkness and the light of the world, both of the masculine and the feminine.

Once you get to the chapter on his early childhood, you will understand. You will know his grit, his darkness, and therefore the true breadth of his light, because of that darkness.

And you will know his deep, abiding love for women. Reading of his longing for women was like reading my own confessions of unconditional love toward women.

I could write an entire book on what I learned from his book, but we’re going limit this post to the first five secrets that resonated with me upon my now third reading.

Some girls love to be teased. But some girls hate it. You find out who is whom (and how to proceed with each) by gauging her openness to teasing, right up front.

Some girls you can tease, flirt with, and bust on until you’re blue in the face, and they’ll love every moment of it.

Other girls, though? Well... not so much. Give her even a light ribbing and her body language turns icy. Try and flirt with her and she just gives you that stony look. You can feel your stomach muscles constrict as she bores holes into you with her eyes.

If you can figure out where on the spectrum a girl lies before you lay your flirtation on thick (or not at all), you can adjust properly.

But if you can’t, you may just find yourself boring the girls who want you to tease... Or sending the girls who can’t handle teasing into a spiral of auto-rejection.

This article is aimed at men who are intermediate with girls and up.

You can still use it as a beginner, but it’ll likely be a little too finesse to remember to do in the heat of the moment. That’s okay, you can circle back here once the game’s slowed down for you.

So how do you know when to start teasing a girl, and when to hold off?

In this article, I’m going to give you the ‘cautious method’ for figuring out how open a girl is to teasing. You won’t always use this, and in fact I don’t always use it too (especially when I’m trying to just ping a girl quickly and see how interested she is, and move on if she isn’t that interested – I’ll go straight to personal teases in that case).

However, if you want to not blow it with a specific girl, or you’re in a captive audience situation (like seated next to her on a bus or airplane, or in a class), this is perfect for not sending girls into auto-rejection by going too far with your teases.

And if she isn’t open to teasing? Don’t worry, I’ve got a solution for you there too.

Let’s dive in.

David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man helps men make their peace with the feminine – and truly understand how men and women fit together.

I finished David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man, in about two hours on a United States flight from the east coast to Seattle. It’s a very fast, easy read. And it’s one of the most powerful and influential books I’ve read recently on how to tap into masculine energy and become a penetrative force in our world today.

David has committed his life to teaching and revolutionizing the way men and women grow sexually and spiritually. He teaches unique multi-day workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. He is known worldwide for his many writings, videos, and audios on a fully-integrated approach to spirituality. His works and workshops are committed to raising an understanding of our human condition through transformative practices and ideas. David addresses spiritual awakening of mind, body, and heart.

Below, I delve into some takeaways from David’s book that I found useful. There are a total of 51 chapters across eight parts – most as short as two pages. Each of these covers an area of the masculine – as opposed to feminine – that can help us grow as men.

One of the big struggles for men who are waking up on women is getting comfortable with female sexuality. How do you do it?

One of the more challenging mental hurdles for the active dater can be overcoming his feelings about female sexuality. This is most true for men who’ve grown up bombarded with messages about female purity, chastity, and the like.

Even in our present society, with ‘slut walks’, Femen, rape culture, and Sex and the City, men still grow up confused with female sexuality. On the one hand, men are told women have the right to sexual liberation without judgment from men. On the other hand, if a man talks to any individual woman and broaches the subject of sexuality, she’ll often react with disgust and offense and tell him no, of course she doesn’t do that or isn’t into this.

This leads lots of men to an, ”Oh, that’s just TV,” mentality, where women behave sexually liberal on TV and in the movies, yet sexually chaste in real life.

Some part of most guys knows that there’s some kind of deception going on here; either the TV is lying and women are all chaste angels, or women themselves are lying and they’re not (and he just isn’t in on the action).

Yet a guy can go his whole life without ever pulling the tarp back on this sexual misdirection... Until he starts to succeed more with girls.

And then, everything changes.