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Calibration Series Pt. 2: Calibrating to Social Context
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social
context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and
appropriateness.
Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.
This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.
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But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.
These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.
Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:
- Her personality
- Her mood
- The context
- Your mood
And each of these have almost infinite variations.
However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.
For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.
The Man Who Refused to Learn to Talk to Women
A story about a guy who never bothers to develop his social skill
set. How does life unfold for a man who chooses not to learn to
socialize and date?
Lucien was always a bit of an outsider. Though he wasn’t one of the nerds in school. Sometimes he joined in on making fun of them, just to prove the point. Mostly he just ignored those kids though. He had his own loose group of friends he rolled with: Elliot among them.
After high school, they mostly went separate ways. One friend went to a community college, and another went to work in his father’s construction business. Elliot and Lucien both went to a state university.
The two friends had heard stories about how easy the women were at Trent State. They anticipated a bountiful stream of willing coeds in school. Their long years of high school dry spells – they thought – were done.
They arrived on campus and looked around. Hot young girls in tight pants and mini skirts everywhere. The girls sat on park benches. Walked down campus sidewalks. Laughed with friends and hung out alone. “Geez,” said Elliot. “This place is a gold mine!” He looked at Lucien. “Come on, we’ve got to talk to these girls!”
Lucien went with Elliot, and Elliot chatted up a pair of girls seated on the grass. The girls seemed to like Elliot – they laughed at his jokes and brushed at their hair. But Lucien didn’t know what to do. Elliot seemed like he suddenly knew all the right things to say; Lucien just felt adrift.
Elliot tried to include Lucien – “This is my best friend Lucien. He’s one of the most awesome people I know” – but all Lucien could do was spit out a few boring lines of conversation and both girls would return their focus to Elliot again. Eventually Lucien gave up his attempts to talk. He watched Elliot for a while, but began to envy him. So he stopped watching, tuned out Elliot and the girls, and stared off into the campus.
Tactics Tuesdays: When She Texts You "We'll See"
When she texts you “maybe” or “we’ll see”, what does it mean? Why
do women text this? There are ways to reduce this happening – as well
as ways to deal with it once it happens.
A reader named Daniel writes in:
“Hey guys,
I have been gaming for a few years now, and I notice a theme. When I ask a girl to hangout via text, there are certain responses that women commonly give- and I consider them all to be negative. We’ll be texting each other, and when I ask her to hangout or suggest it she will either say: “We’ll see”; “I’ll let you know “; “maybe ; or go silent. Obviously, I get some positive responses, but any variation of these 4 tends to be the common negative ones. Any tips on how to respond to each? Or better yet, could you write an article on girls responding negatively or questionably when u ask them to hangout via text?”
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Ooh, yeah. That’s an ugly message to get:
- “Maybe”
- “I’ll let you know”
- “We’ll see”
These texts always suck. They suck for one major reason: the girl implies she holds all the cards.
This is not a gracious message. When she texts you “maybe” or she texts you “we’ll see” it is an “I’m-going-to-tell-you-how-it-will-be-and-you-will-be-waiting” message. Each of the above responses implies you want something, and she will decide later whether you will get the thing you want or not.
In this article, we’ll talk about some firefighting tactics you can use if you get this. But more importantly, we’ll talk about why women send this message in the first place, and the ways you can avoid ever even getting this message (most of the time).