Seduction

How can one gain more control over how his interactions with women play out? Let’s talk about a less-visible yet hugely impactful factor that will bring concrete changes.

When it comes to seduction, you may be limited in the things you can change regarding your initial impressions with girls. You can smile, act confident, use verbal routines, and improve your fashion and  body language.

However, no matter how much you try to change what you are doing or look like, you remain relatively the same person as where you started.

So the question I’ll address in this article is: are there concrete changes you can make to consistently increase your odds of seducing a girl? If so, how do you learn what to do?

If you sleep with her too quick, the odds she sees you again go down. Want to raise them up? Re-seduce her once she's dressed and on her way out before you let her go.

If you do fast pickups, where you're sleeping with women very soon after meeting them, you'll run into a certain issue. It won't be much of an issue until you want to hang onto a woman. Then you have one you decide you'd like to see again, and up it pops.

The issue is that no matter how great a guy you are, when you are shagging women very fast, by default a lot of women may not want to see you again.

A woman may feel guilty about having slept with you so fast: "I'm not like that, I don't know why I had sex with him so quick," and this can make her not want to see you again.

Or maybe she enjoyed it, but she completely writes you off as a random sexy rogue (fuckboy) and has no desire to see you further.

None of this is an issue when a one-night stand is all you're worried about.

But it becomes an issue when you lay a girl you'd like to keep, then can't get her back out again.

However, there is one unique little tactic I've devised over the years that dramatically boosts your ability to convert a fast-lay into a girl who'll come to see you again.

Before I tell you about it, you should understand a few things about how people make decisions, first (and actually, I am going to give you a bonus tactic too... so really it's two tactics here).

Times have changed in regards to sexual liberalism among women. Particularly, anti-slut defense is becoming less prevalent. But should we stop using ASD-busters?

I initially planned to keep up with my COVID-19 related posts. However, I received a fascinating response from a reader about my first article on dating apps (where I share my perspective that I do not like them).

The question was posed by user doncgiovanni:

“Hey,

In this article, you said anti-slut defense is ALMOST a thing of the past. I read a couple of your articles on sex talk and gambits. The crucial part of them always seems to be framing women as not sluts, rather expressing their sexuality.

Do you find this not so necessary anymore? I’m finding more and more girls in alternative circles just owning their “slutness” and not giving a damn... which is great :)

Do you think it’s cool to just skip this part with some girls/most girls? How do you go about it?

By the way, love your articles, contributions to this scene.”

DG

Women often resist sexual approaches so they are not perceived as sluts or “easy” in their peers' and friends’ eyes, and the eyes of potential lovers. And many men dislike “easy women” for various reasons. So a defense mechanism occurs that makes women turn down sexual moves, and act more asexual than they really are. It’s as if they were “hiding” their sexuality.

Society has traditionally controlled and suppressed female sexuality for centuries. To understand why, review my earlier article on anti-slut defense (ASD).

In today’s Western world (this may be different in non-Western countries), women seem looser around sexuality because of cultural changes. Pop music, political discourse, and youth culture all motivate sexual behavior.

Dealing with ASD (removing her barriers about being sexual with a guy) and making her comfortable being sexual with you is a major part of the game. It’s usually done by:

• Reframing sex as natural and not a big deal

• Framing sex as positive rather than something that should be judged negatively

• Framing sexual liberalism as good and healthy

• Framing yourself as a sexual guy who is nonjudgmental

• Pointing out how unfair and detrimental it is to judge women for their sexuality

• Communicating low-keyness

Our reader is asking a good, straightforward question. If ASD is diminishing — if not disappearing from Western female minds — then why still worry about it? Why would I still advocate using ASD-busting techniques, like communicating sexually liberal ideals and low-keyness?

There are multiple reasons.

Do you seek approval? Is your behavior tentative or uncertain… or is it clear to women that you are confident – that you just KNOW what you are and what your value is?

Sometime back, I wrote an article on giving girls oral sex (i.e., cunnilingus).

In it, I gave a tip of maintaining eye contact through the session if you want to ratchet up the intensity.

A reader writing in the comment section commented that his girl "hates it, finds it incredibly feminine." He adds that women in pornography "stare up at the guy while giving him a blow job, seeking approval." Then says that his woman doesn't want that.

It took me a moment to wrap my head around where this guy was coming from at first. Yet, then, I realized where that was.

With almost anything you can do, there are different ways of framing a thing, both internally (in your head) and externally (the way you present it).

In this case, here was me framing a thing one way. Then this reader came along and framed it another way.

This difference in framing gets picked up on by the woman herself.

Sensual habits get women to open up more authentically with you. If you can show you’re a cool guy she can trust with her own sensuality, she'll drop her shields.

Today we’ll discuss seductive habits and how they can help you with women.

A seductive habit is a small action or motion you repeat that gives you flavor for a girl. Much like a raw piece of meat can be made tastier by marinating it in spices, good seductive habits run deep in your behaviors, making your more exciting.

Instead of a woman saying, “Oh, it’s the same-old-same-old, I don’t need it, thanks,” it makes a woman say, “My God! How did you make this taste so good!”

When she looks down, smiles, and brushes her hair back, you've spiked arousal.

During the course of every seduction, at certain points a woman's arousal will spike.

She'll go from "This guy's interesting to talk to" to "Wow, I think I like this guy."

At some other next point she'll then go from "I think I like this guy" to "Ohhhh... I want this guy."

You can see these arousal spikes (they get called 'buying temperature spikes' or 'BT spikes' in the seduction community) fairly obviously much of the time. Women will do things like:

• Droop their eyelids ('bedroom eyes')

• Smile lasciviously at you

• Move much closer to you

• Let out a little moan

• Blush/flush their cheeks

• Flash (suddenly raise) their eyebrows at you

• Begin to touch you on their own

• Let their lips part and mouth hang open a bit

• Tilt their heads at you

(incidentally these are all things you can -- and should! -- do yourself as your seductions progress to create the feeling of greater intimacy and escalation)

When you see a few of these signs, it's a pretty clear indicator you're turning her on.

So what do you do when you see them?

Jump all over them?

Point them out?

Ever meet a girl whom you never see express sexuality in any way, around you or any other guy? She might not be asexual – she might just be repressed.

Sometimes a woman's sexuality is repressed.

Or, she is so distracted by her other interests in life that boys and sex take a back seat.

When you meet her and you're with her, you won't pick up on any kind of sexual vibe from her. She doesn't talk about sex with you. If you bring it up, she changes the subject. If you joke about it, she ignores the joke. All the fun sexual stuff you do with most girls to her just bounces off. The vibe is 'interested in you but not really in a romantic way'.

Yet, if you do things right, and continue to lead her forward, you can bed her. She is not a 'friend zone' girl or someone without a sex drive.

It's confusing at first. Every guy's met girls his tactics don't work on because the girl's not interested. Such a girl deflects everything you say or do, yet 10 minutes later you see her draped all over another guy. The problem in this case is not 'her'... it is 'her plus you/your game'.

With distracted or repressed girls, this is not the case. You'll do your thing with them, not get your usual reaction, but then if you walk off they will not be draped over another guy should you see them later. If you're in a bar or another place people socialize lots, they might be in another non-sexual looking conversation, or they'll still be alone, having had some other guys come up, take their shots, fail to feel anything happening, then wander off too.

Repressed/distracted girls tend to often actually be fairly straightforward to bed... if you know how they work.

This article is about how they work.