To rekindle your own raw masculinity, you must become comfortable
with those most familiar of masculine friends: struggle and pain.
We live in the most perfect of all existences.
Our good deeds are always rewarded, even if we don't notice. If we
truly did someone a kindness – including ourselves – it will be
rewarded in that moment or in the future.
Likewise, justice is always doled out in perfect unity, even if we
do not always see its consequences.
The fruits we sow always come to fruition, no matter how far we run.
Even if we isolate ourselves atop a remote mountain, away from any
external, hostile threat, the most dangerous judge of them all, the one
within ourselves, will crawl its way out from the depths of our being
and ravage us as ruthlessly as we have others.
Lovers seduce women; fighters intimidate men. But why do men
choose the specializations they do – and which should you choose?
I was probably about 20 years old when I accepted what was to me a
weird fact at the time. That fact was that the toughest, manliest, most
utterly male, intimidating men usually only dated girls who were just
okay.
They didn’t get gorgeous girls... not usually. They’d get girls with
ordinary faces, ordinary brains, and maybe okay bodies.
I’d seen a similar trend in myself. In midway through high school
I’d switched images: from nerd chic
to the leather jacket bad boy look. And though I was unquestionably
cooler and tougher looking, the fevered pursuit I’d had from popular,
pretty girls over the previous four years died down. Men, however,
respected me more than ever. I’d gained more male respect, but at the
cost of female desire.
Fast forward a few years. I’d internalized the lesson that men who
acted über manly had focused their efforts on appealing to male measurements of power and
dominance... and cost themselves in women. It was a hard decision at
the time, but at last I said “I will no longer live my life for other
men.” And as I reinvented myself again, this time with an emphasis on
what attracted women, I became more attractive to women once more, with
some small cost to the respect other men held for me. I stopped being a
fighter, and became a lover.
Ultimately, I’d say it was a good move for me, in many ways. Ultra
maleness is not so
conducive to being a writer or a business owner. Nor is it so
good a fit for a man who wants to travel around and network with other
people. Taking my foot off the masculinity gas somewhat freed me to not
have to be a caveman in everything I did. And of course, the women...
they’re much better for the guys who aren’t male caricatures.
Lovers vs. fighters is
something Hector delved into with last week’s “A
Feminine Man, Done Right, Can be Wildly Sexy to Women.” In that
article, he discussed how a
certain degree of femininity in men can trump overdone masculinity when
it comes to success with girls.
Today, I want to go into the science and the psychology of it: why
men choose the paths they do, and which one is actually the more
fruitful path to choose.
There’s a lot to remember about meeting new girls. So what are
the most important parts? Remember these 5 keys and you’re off to the
races.
I hear it from so many different directions, so much advice
littering the internet from the great to the terrible. I myself
struggled for years with a plethora of different advice, good and bad,
going day after day with seemingly no progress in the way I was
approaching girls.
I felt like I was going through a haze. I struggled
to see my mistakes and understand my wrongs. Women seemingly ran from
me every chance they got, especially when it came down to the simple
task of approaching a girl successfully.
Then, as time went on, I got
better. I started seeing certain things work and others fall flat.
Girls started chasing me off the open, giggling and blushing even.
In this article, I want to clear up the one topic everyone is
constantly asking about. How do I approach a
girl, get her attention,
and get her liking me off the bat?
I have personally approached tens of
thousands of women over the years, and I hope to clear up this topic
for everyone once and for all. I will start with three common
misconceptions. Then we are going to cover the five most important
elements to a great first approach.
Some parts of ourselves, both mental and physical, are immutable.
Exactly how much of ourselves (and what parts) can we actually change?
I was recently asked a very interesting question regarding human
behavior and “nature versus nurture.” I myself ponder issues like this
quite often, as I'm sure many Girls Chase readers do.
How much of who I am today was determined at birth? To what extent
did culture, locale, parenting, etc. influence who I turned out to be?
What aspects of my current “self” are the result of free will? Can
attempting to change certain things about myself put me at odds with my
nature and actually be detrimental to my well-being?
These are interesting questions that I love to explore for both men
and for women. Most notably, are we truly ourselves, and can we change
ourselves?
The truth of this matter is a rather convoluted mix of YES and NO.
We are simultaneously human beings with immense control over our
destiny – but also little to no control over our destiny.
Ever find yourself in a funk, where nothing you did with girls
worked out? Sometimes it’s random. But sometimes it’s testosterone.
One of our more senior forum members, named Lao Che, has run into problems getting girls.
Lao Che’s in his early 40s, travels often, and was until recently a
regular hound dog. But then things fell off. He describes it as “I got
old really fast.” He had a few
relationships end poorly six months ago, and since then women won’t go
beyond flirtation with him.
For years, Lao Che posted one lay report
after another on the GC boards, often picking up girls the same night
out of bars or
sucking them into his world over a couple of dates and bedding them
with ease. What happened?
I don’t know if it’s exactly his scenario (would need a few more
details), but I suspect it is: most
of the time when I see guys have total results reversals like this –
where they go from lots of success with women, to no success with women
– it’s a testosterone problem.
Testosterone problem? What’s that? What’s the cause... and why would
getting T-levels flowing again after they’ve ebbed way down bring
your results back up with women, too?
That’s the topic of today’s article: the low-T funk, what it looks
like, how to identify it, and how to get back out of it. Don’t
worry. I’m not going to give you any magic T-level rising potions to
consume. But we will be talking ‘man stuff. If your T-levels are off,
this is the stuff we’re going to get you doing to bring those levels
back up.
Sexual tension is a potent magnet for the girls you most want.
But what is it, and how do you generate it? With intrigue, limbo, and
more.
Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will stick to the plan and delve
further into the non-verbal aspect of seduction. That being said, all
my recent posts on the subject should already contain enough
information to get you laid, as the most crucial basics were covered –
not to mention all the additional cool tricks I tossed in to increase
your odds:
Now prepare yourselves – the
upcoming posts will be more advanced
and more complex in nature. Not only will we get into more
advanced
(and perhaps even vague) concepts, we’ll also get more into the
details. If you aspire to make your overall non-verbal game tighter,
then these posts are for you.
Some of these posts may also be useful
for those of you who desire more interesting and pleasurable seductions
(many forget that the seduction process can also be something
pleasurable instead of purely instrumental!).
So today I will discuss sexual tension – a powerful
thing, yet a
very vague concept. It is a very hard thing to explain, but once you
experience it with a girl, chances are you will hook up with her. So
let us in this first post try to demystify the concept, then in the
next post discuss how do create it – and more importantly, control it.
Let us being by covering what sexual tension is.
If you don’t touch her, it’ll be awkward. Yet touch even in and
of itself is attractive in its own right.
As you guys know, I am making a series on non-verbal seduction.
I
started by covering body positioning and eye contact, and will now
cover one of the most crucial topics in non-verbal seduction – physical
escalation – which you accomplish with touch.
I know… there are a lot of posts regarding this topic here on Girls
Chase:
However, I believe pedagogically speaking, it is a good
thing to get the same material explained in different ways, with
different structure and different context.
And there will likely be a
few things in here that you have never thought of.
I will do my best to
add in some juice for you veterans, but I will also cover a few basics
in order to recap key ideas while providing a good introduction for new
readers.
Due to the importance of the subject of touching in regards to
non-verbal seduction, I have decided to make this a three-part post;
this first installment will cover more theoretical implications, while
the next will be more practical. Further down the road, I plan to cover
different ways of touching in addition to more advanced concepts, such
as the “ladder,” mutual escalation, and the use of fractionation in
touching.
Let us begin this post by explaining why physical escalation is key
– and I am sure the explanation will cover more than what you
originally anticipated.
Pedro Pascal’s portrayal of Oberyn Martell is unabashedly sexy. What makes his character so compelling? Fundamentals, panache, and finesse.
There are times in life when we cross paths with men – real men –
men whose very presence sparks a reaction within us: “Wow, here is a
man. I want to be just like him.”
This particular awe-inspiring male personality may differ from
person to person, but each of us have had that experience. Whether it’s
a father figure, a brother figure, a mentor, or a perfect stranger, we
hope to spend enough time around that person to absorb their traits and
learn what they know about masculinity, life, and women.
However, in a world where masculinity is becoming more demonized and
ridiculed, these men aren’t so easy to come by, and they aren’t always
in a position to teach us in a meaningful way. These days, it’s common
to be without access to powerful male role models. Sometimes all we
have to rely on are books and film. We watch a movie, a TV show, or
read a book... and into the scene strolls a man – he may be fictional,
but goddamn is he mesmerizing. So we pay attention.
We often connect more with someone on a screen or page than we do
with anyone else in real life. Personally, there are a host of
fictional characters who have played a more substantial role in my
growth as a man than most real men I’ve met. They were ideals of the
writer or creator transformed into beings worthy of emulation. And this
is nothing new. Ever since the first story was told, men have emulated
the traits of their heroes, real or fictional.
The inception of this series actually began with Giacomo Casanova.
While reading his memoirs, I thought “This guy’s story needs to be told
in a modern form.” I planned on rewriting his adventures, then deeply
analyzing his lays (which number over a hundred and include royalty) so
that GC readers wouldn’t have to work their way through the beautiful
yet difficult translations of his 17th century Italian.
When I dropped that project, however, a very similar idea came to me
– why not analyze the many men of television, cinema, literature, and
history, who are outstanding examples of power and sensuality?
Thus was born “Seduction Spotlight.” The name should speak for
itself.
I will show you in detail how these characters seduce women,
dominate their foes, and exemplify other masculine pursuits, such as
achieving one’s dreams. Through this analysis you should then be able
to truly understand how they do what they do, and, in turn, do it
yourself (adhering to the laws of your land and time, of course).
With this inaugural article, then, I will shine that spotlight on my
personal favorite, Oberyn Martell of the TV show Game of Thrones,
inspired by the Song of Fire and Ice book series written by
George R.R. Martin. Oberyn Martell is played by the actor Pedro Pascal.
Since Oberyn’s character only aired for a little under forty minutes
in the fourth season of Game of Thrones, I cover nearly all his scenes
in order to highlight his fundamentals, game, and mindsets. I’ll cite
the episodes if you want to follow along on your HBO Go, but I’ll also
provide YouTube links for each scene (some YouTube vids are censored).
Here are a pair of videos that cover every scene he’s in if you want
a
compilation:
Seductive eye contact is about more than eyelids and gaze
direction. With these 3 basic eye contact rules, plus a few advanced
tactics, you’ll melt her.
Lately I have been making posts on non-verbal seduction.
Non-verbal
seduction is a lot of fun and has a lot of benefits – such as being
possible in loud clubs. If you’d like my lesson on pulling off verbal
seduction in a loud club, here it is: you can’t. This is why those of
us (myself included) who enjoy using fancy verbals tend to avoid loud
clubs or stick to smoking and lounge areas.
But this will no longer be a problem, for today we will go further
down the rabbit hole of non-verbal seduction. One common misconception
is that non-verbal seduction is easier than verbal seduction. This is
wrong. However, it is important to keep in mind that it is easier to
occasionally “get lucky” and enjoy freebies with non-verbal seduction.
Becoming consistent and enjoying
repeated success, on the other hand,
is hard. This requires more than just “gazing her down” and
touching
her like a caveman.
This forces us to become more calibrated and develop more than a
simple “trained eye” and that “smooth vibe” that usually
results from
field experience. To achieve success and avoid failure, it is still a
prerequisite to gain knowledge. And in order to get good at non-verbal
seduction, one has to get deeper in the analysis of those concepts,
which at first glance to a “clueless” eye, may seem banal. For good
non-verbal seduction, the devil is indeed in the details.
In last week’s article, we discussed the oftentimes overlooked yet
crucial subject of positioning. Today’s topic, eye contact,
is no
different. Now, keep in mind that this post, the previous post, and the
upcoming posts related to non-verbal seduction will cover techniques
that can also be used when delivering verbals; for example,
eye contact is obviously key in any form of seduction but is absolutely
vital in non-verbal seduction – for obvious reasons, these are the only
tools you have at your disposal when verbals are rendered useless. When
given fewer “tools” to operate with, perfection is required.
Your body positioning when you approach a new girl tells her a
lot about you, fast. If you want to make sure you send the right
signals, you want to get the positioning right.
Since lately we’ve been discussing non-verbal seduction,
I decided to go a bit further and discuss the actual tools for
non-verbal seduction. These upcoming posts will cover in depth some
commonly known tools, but they will also discuss some oftentimes
disregarded tools that are actually vital – remember that with
non-verbal seduction, the devil lies in the details.
To illustrate this properly, I’ve decided to make today’s topic
about positioning.
We will base our analysis on clubs and bars, but the
exact same principle applies for parties and day game. The reason I use
the club is because positioning is more important in this atmosphere
and has more nuances in typical night game spots.
By positioning, I am referring to
your body’s position relative to
the female with whom you are interacting (or trying to interact
with,
if we are talking pre-approach) – where your body is facing, your
distance from her, and even the particular spot where you’re standing
can be a big factor. We will discuss all three phases of body
positioning in
three sections covering three broad seduction phases, namely:
The Pre-opening (before you engage)
The Post-opening (just after you engage – often described as the
“hook-phase”)
The Seduction Phase (I am not only referring to when you are
making out, or back at your place, but the phase where you have opened,
she is hooked in, and you have some rapport, and preferably you are in
isolation with her)
Let us now discuss how positioning works during the first phase.