Fundamentals

If you've paid much attention to the men that women gravitate towards, they're pretty much all assholes.

Yeah, sure... deep down, they may actually be good guys. "An asshole with a heart of gold", for instance.

But, they're still assholes.

If you yourself are not an asshole though, adopting some of the traits of a guy like this so you can be an asshole can seem like something of a mountain to climb... society keeps telling you not to, but women's obvious mate selections over and over again keep telling you differently.

In "How to Spot a Girl Looking for Men", Michal asked about the path to embracing one's inner asshole:

“Hello, Chase.

This kind of question usually never pops up so I am just gonna ask. How do I become more like a jerk or an asshole? I am too friendly basically, because parents and such always told me to be kind and polite and nice. Ugh! :-s

I dont want to seem as an ass at the end but... I have been trying to be more playful lately, trying some wit and I experiment with my female friends and they seem to enjoy it OR dont get it. And when I meet new girls I am this little kind person again because I dont want to seem awkward.

So how can I stop being viewed as this "kind and good hearted man" who "has no evil in his soul" as I once heard and have better personality that women respond to as if I was a man. Not friendly boy?

My fundamentals are bad and I am working on it but this is my biggest flaw right now. I am ok to have female friends, but I dont want every girl I meet to feel like I am her long lost friend from childhood.

Any possible advice? I guess move faster and dont miss "the windows"?

Thanks in advance.”

Let's talk about jerks and assholes, then - and what it takes to be one.

In "20 Ways to Talk to Women and Make It AMAZING", Flames requested an article on rapport - specifically, one on making it, and breaking it. Here's that part of his comment:

“Oh and if we could have something on rapport, both making and breaking. I've had a few girls break rapport recently and it left me thinking wtf? :)

Regards
Flames”

Breaking rapport is a classic pickup technique for controlling the flow and direction of conversations. It's used as a sort of a "forced redirect" when things start traveling down a conversational road you don't want them to go down.

However, one of the ways it's traditionally been taught is to be used not purely as a redirect, but as a punishment for women who are being aloof, uncooperative, or trying to move things backwards.

There are more ways to use this, though, that both enhance the fun and energy of your conversations - and quickly get women qualifying themselves to you.

The focus in this article is mainly going to be on breaking rapport yourself - though if you're paying attention, most of the extinction examples we use later are really about dealing with women who break rapport with you, first - so we'll cover both sides of the coin about Flames's question about the subject in this one.

Let's see what they are.

Being charming is a trait most of us are taught to aspire to from a young age. From fiction novels to Disney movies, the ladies always seem to swoon for that man who can charm his way right into their hearts.

But how do you get to be a charming man? And how important is charm in your process of seduction?

Today I’m going to give you a comprehensive look into charm. And it probably won’t be exactly what you expect. Charm is a double-edged sword that can be a great boon in certain situations, but a harmful bane in others.

I’m going to help you figure out when it’s most useful, and how to effectively wield your charms for seductions and relationships.

Note from Chase: J.J. is one of our more esteemed forum members, pulling off seduction jujitsu with beautiful women and producing a steady stream of increasingly ballsy (and often quite funny) lay reports. He has an intelligent, laid back style, doesn't mind moving quickly with women or getting sexual with them in a hurry, and has a lot of great insights into the female mind that he's been liberal with sharing to forum members running into their own issues. Without any more ado, here's J.J.'s first post here on the article side of Girls Chase.

In today's article, what I'll be talking about are basic ways to get a read on how invested in you women are, and how you can escalate that investment very quickly with simple but very powerful compliance tests.

Using compliance tests has been one of the most helpful things I have learned from hanging out here at Girls Chase. Not only is the compliance test an extremely important and useful social tool, you should go to it early and often. With that in mind, I think a good way to kick this off is by focusing on the simple point that there are basically three ways that people interact and make impressions upon one another within a social setting:

1. They demonstrate their value levels
2. Indicate interest or disinterest
3. And they test for compliance

A compliance test is basically asking (or telling) someone to do something for you, and is something that I have noticed has been sorely lacking from a lot of field reports on the boards as of late. I believe there is a reason for that, since testing for compliance is the only action in the list above that really isn't done implicitly or automatically.

Whether we are trying to or not, we're constantly displaying a value level to those around us. We're also constantly displaying interest levels without much awareness of doing it.

Now, just to clarify, so long as you're not running around in autopilot, value and interest displays can definitely be controlled. What I am really getting at here is that you have more control over how you use compliance tests than you do the value or interest levels you display. I think the most important piece of information that you should take away from my brief into here is that testing for compliance actually has pretty profound effects on the value level and the interest level that you display.

The easy part of that formula is that simply by testing for compliance, you show a woman that you are interested in interacting with her. Also, for obvious reasons, getting compliance increases your value from her perspective - you become more attractive. There is also a third (and probably most important) benefit of getting compliance, and that is gaining investment in your interaction from the other person. When people take the time to do things for you - however minute - they're investing their time, thoughts and efforts into the relationship between the two of you.

When I first discovered dating advice for men on the Internet in the mid-2000s, I was ecstatic; here were exactly the tools I was looking for to take what I was trying to do and put it on rocket fuel.

With these tools, I knew, I could shave years off my learning curve and advance at a far faster rate than I could having to figure every single thing out by myself, on my own.

It didn't take long though before I realized that many of the guys posting on seduction forums and meeting up in pickup lairs were "quirky"; there were things about them that were off, and the kinds of women they were going for were... not the kinds of women I was all that interested in.

I maintained friendships with the cooler and more "normal" guys I met through PUA - and indeed, many of these guys are still good friends of mine today, and are some of the sharpest and most improvement-oriented people I know (many are also quite successful in their businesses and careers nowadays) - but aside from them, I largely retreated to friendships with "naturals" - guys who were naturally good with women, and hadn't studied pickup and had only the most cursory knowledge of what it taught.

What I noticed was that there were some very distinct differences between the guys who were naturally good with women and the guys who were not - and while some of this went away as guys improved, some of it didn't; these differences remained.

And those differences very often meant the difference between being cool and getting the more attractive, harder-to-get girls, and not being and getting those.

On a particularly long day, after an 8 hour drive home from Northern Wisconsin on vacation, I was feeling tired, and the day’s events had hit me.

When I got home I decided it would be best to take a walk around the neighborhood to clear my mind. I found myself walking without a direction or second thought as to what I was doing or where I was going, until… I passed by the local coffee shop, and sitting outside under a shading umbrella, at a table, was a cute girl sipping on a mocha frappe.

This girl caught my eye against my empty thoughts and, though I wasn’t very much up to talking, I wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass.

I sat at a table across from her, and looked up to the sunset, breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly as she looked my way and smiled. I brought my head down, looked across my shoulder at her, and smiled as I tilted my head back up to tints of oranges, purples, and pinks.

After a generic agreement on how beautiful the sky was, I sat next to her, didn’t say a word to her yet, but again saw her look at me, and this time I locked eyes with her, tilted my head to the side raised my eyebrow, then pulled back a tad.

She exclaimed, “What?!” and was thrown off by the gesture. After telling her that I thought she was cute, with a prolonged sexy stare, I ran my fingertips against the backside of her hand, and saw her pupils dilate and her breathing got a little heavier.

An hour later she was lying on top of me at the pavilion of a nearby deserted park.

That’s nonverbal attraction: the ability to communicate messages to and even arouse a girl without saying much - and it’s powerful!

Nonverbal attraction and communication lies at the center of most great seductions; it is the bread and butter of easy and natural pick ups; it is something we all know subconsciously; and it’s something you can use to skyrocket your success ratio… and today I’m going to show you how to use it.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post on creating and implementing a habit, by Robert King, director and instructor at PUA London.

Habits are the brain's own productivity mechanism. The brain converts conscious actions, consistently repeated, into unconscious habits. The brain turns conscious actions into unconscious habits to free up future resources and will power for other tasks and actions.

The only downside to this process is that it can be extremely difficult to break bad habits or to create new ones. Once positive habits have been ingrained into the unconscious they are EXTREMELY beneficial, though.

To create a new habit, we first engage in a new activity, and the brain works very hard to process all the new information. The brain looks for patterns and tries to understand the new action. As soon as it understands how the task works, this behaviour starts becoming automatic, and the mental activity required to do the task decreases.

Think about how much brain power you used when first learning how to drive. Compare that now to when you drive; probably the vast majority of your driving is done on autopilot.

Let's talk about creating habits, which are crucial to getting success, especially in all things self-development.