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(3) Journeyman

Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts

Picking Up Girls from Bars that Close Late

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

picking up girls from late-closing barsClubs that close late can seem like great spots to pick up girls. But there’s a catch – take too long & you’ll find they empty out far before closing time. You need sound strategy to succeed!

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week, we discussed strategic choices where clubs and the general nightlife close early, around 3 a.m.

To recap:

  • You must be bolder (more sexual and explicit, escalate the vibe faster, and screen out unreceptive girls). How much you screen depends on your skill level and how close it is to closing time.

  • Long-winded verbal and social proof game that take time are not ideal strategies.

  • You rely on the dynamics during prime time (1 to 1.5 hours before closing) to amp up things when girls tend to be more receptive. Use the plausible deniability from the club closing to leave the club with her (and her friends) to pull back to your place (or hers) or go to an after-party.

I won’t review further details from the last post since if you are reading this one and haven’t seen last week’s, it may mean that where you live, venues close late, and you are looking for ways to deal with later closing hours.

FYI, when I talk about late talking hours, I mean venues with closing hours starting at 5 a.m. to venues that never close.

  • Warm-up venues that close earlier than the main venues do not count, although you can meet girls and seal the deal there earlier.

  • Some cities where clubs close at 6 a.m. have after-hours venues that close at 9 a.m. or later (or don’t close). As you can imagine, the crowd is very niche with true party people. I enjoy those venues, but most people will be home before the regular clubs close. When most venues close and people stop partying there, that defines the “closing hour” where you are.

“Late” closing time is typically after 3 or 4 a.m. Most southern, eastern, and central European clubs close around 5 to 7 a.m. But some clubs in Germany open Friday and close on Sunday afternoon. As you can imagine, these are in Berlin, where there’s a niche market.

So, what is the dynamic of such venues?

10 Lessons from Drunk Chase to Help You Pick Up Girls

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

picking up women drunkWhen you pick up girls drunk, you behave in a more instinctive way – that SOMETIMES works better. I share 10 lessons learned from picking up drunk.

I talked to a guy the other day who asked me if it was hard figuring out what went wrong (when things did go wrong) back when I was first learning to pick up girls.

I said yes, to some extent, but I think I had it easier than many guys. I more or less started out my seduction journey with the VAC attraction model. That gave me a system for deciphering what was happening in a pickup and why right from the get-go. I also had a few other troubleshooting tools I received pretty early on.

Another thing I did while learning, I told him, was to “pay close attention to what Drunk Chase was doing.”

Back in the day, I used to be a pretty heavy drinker. A lot of guys get sloppy when they’re drunk and do a lot worse at picking up girls. But my problem when I was newer was social anxiety. Me getting drunk made me fun, cool, and smooth. I’d often go out, get very drunk, and pick up girls… a lot more easily than I could when sober. One of my early wingmen remarked to me that, “You’re really relaxed and cool when you’re drunk. I wish you could be like that all the time!”

He had a fair point. So, I made it my goal to be more like Drunk Chase all the time.

After that, even when I was hammered drunk, there’d be a little ‘Sober Chase’ inside my head, observing what I was doing, and taking notes. “Oh wow, I can’t believe I just did that,” I’d be saying, as Drunk Me pulled off yet another wild thing with a girl. I’d be even more shocked that it worked.

The lessons I learned from Drunk Chase I then applied to Sober Chase’s game.

As it turned out, they worked just as well sober as they did drunk.

I don’t drink to excess anymore. I kicked that habit, fortunately. It got a little too out-of-hand at one point. I was putting myself in too many risky situations while drunk and had one too many close calls.

Nevertheless, I still learned a lot during that period, and since the topic came up the other day, I thought it might be fun to share 10 of the lessons I learned from ‘Drunk Chase’ about how to better pick up girls.

Picking Up Girls from Bars that Close Early

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

early closing times in bars & nightclubsSome nightlife venues close early. Yet you can still pick up girls at them. The way you go about it requires good strategy – and a little advance planning.

Hey guys, welcome back.

In the next two posts, I’ll discuss the strategic management of nighttime game. Today, I will start with nightlife with early closing times, and next week, I will discuss how game changes when nightlife never truly sleeps. We will discuss how your game should vary given the venue’s hours where you live and clubs that close early (at or before three a.m.) or later (after 4 a.m.). It’s an under-discussed yet important factor you should not neglect, as it affects dynamics and your strategic choices.

When I talk about late opening hours, I refer to the usual opening hours of most venues in a particular location (where you live).

I won’t discuss after-hours places, as they are not the norm. Say most clubs close at 3 a.m. where you live, but a few after-hours places are open until 5 or 6. Unless the after-hours clubs are the norm in your nightlife (only a niche tends to go frequently), then it is the “standard” opening hours I am considering; in this case, 3 a.m.

Similarly, even if most clubs close at 3 a.m., some venues may close earlier. In this case, we still consider the closing hour to be 3 a.m. because the places that close earlier, say at 1 a.m. (usually smaller venues like pubs or lounges), can serve as a warm-up, and most frequenting these will eventually go to a club. Thus, the normal opening hour is what you should consider in your assessment.

It does not mean you cannot pull from venues that close earlier, nor does it mean you cannot pull early. However, in your overall game plan, you should not consider this due to the likelihood of ending up in a place that follows the usual closing hours.

The normal closing hours in your city can vary by location. You can get a good idea of what it is by checking:

  • The time clubs are legally allowed to be open without a special permit (after-hours venues).

  • The time most people head home.

How to Choose the RIGHT Girl on a Night Out (& Get Her Into You)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

choose the right girlOut at night, you must pick a girl to focus on if you want success. To do so, pick the right girl, focus on her, and take care not to inspire jealousy among her friends…

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing great.

Today I’ll continue where I last left off last time in my article on factors that influence whether a girl can be picked up that night. I discussed why choosing a girl when out at night is crucial, committing to her instead of being a social butterfly who flirts with everyone.

When you flirt with everyone, you end up home alone with a burrito in your hand (literally and metaphorically). This applies to night game as you will likely open multiple girls and different groups and may get a few good leads. If you are on fire, many girls may be chasing you, which is good for social proof and your mood. The problem is, sticking with that for too long generates auto-rejection and makes you appear indecisive. If you are lucky, you still waste valuable time you should have spent isolating, establishing rapport (building a connection), and escalating the vibe to push an interaction further.

Eventually, you must select your girl of the night. We discussed choosing which girl to commit to (aside from looks and personality, which matter, of course. It’s subjective but should weigh in nevertheless). Choosing the wrong girl may cost you the night (if your goal is getting laid that night, which is the meta in night game as taking numbers is unreliable in this setting).

Some factors to look for:

Having Sexual Intercourse that Lasts 45 Minutes or More

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

sex for 45 minutesCAPTION

Sex for 30 minutes, 45 minutes, or more should not be a backbreaker for you as a man.

But for many men it is.

Here’s a quote from a guy who had sex for 20 minutes, and considered that a Herculean effort:

Recently found the one, thought i had a big sex drive, until I really turned her on

And by god, she turned on

she turned on like a 1990 brand new honda civic

I mean like, jesus christ, 10 min in and I was fighting for my fuckin' life

After 20 whole minutes of grueling, internal screaming, trying my absolute best to keep it in, while thinking of the most horrible, gut wrenching gore i have ever seen just for that few minutes more, I finally made her cum

My arm, my hip and my legs all hurt like hell and I just layed down and fucking turned off like a windows 95

woke up 15 min later to her provoking me to do it again

 

And that's how I died folks

Many men commiserated in the comments with this guy. Some recommended giving women oral sex to deal with these more ‘voracious’ women. A few guys (like I was on reading it) were shocked at this guy acting like 20 minutes of sex was a long time or an achievement… however, another guy claimed that thinking 20 minutes of sex is NOT long “tells us you’ve never had sex before” and that “thrusting your pelvic for 20mins straight will burn your legs off.”

A lot of men really do think 20 minutes of sex is a LONG time!

The average duration of sexual intercourse is 5.4 minutes. This guy writing the comment above, who went for 4x the average length, was indeed something of a champ among the Average Joe crowd.

Today, though, I’m going to tell you how to have sex for 45 minutes, an hour, two hours, or more, without “burning your legs off” – that way you can give women the kind of deep satisfaction most men (who last far less long) will never be able to give them.

Study: Women Are More Swayed by Compliments When Non-Fertile

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

women swayed by complimentsWomen in their luteal (non-fertile) phase are more swayable by some types of compliments. Which ones, why, and why not for single, fertile women? Read on…

I realize genuine interest is out of fashion in the seduction community of late (probably an overcorrection due to neo-direct). Nevertheless, this study’s too interesting to not relate.

We often tell guys “It doesn’t matter what you say. Just get talking to her!”

For the most part it’s true. For a guy who’s hung up on what opener to use, who as a result is NOT opening, it’s DOUBLY true! This guy will get way more girls using any opener than he will standing around, twiddling his thumbs, trying to come up with the perfect opener, missing girl after girl he could have spoken with.

But for guys who’re actively approaching – who were going to make the approach regardless – the opener can make an impact. It can influence how a woman receives you on the open, and even have ripple effects later on into the interaction.

That’s what we’ll discuss today.

If you’re not talking to enough girls, this article should NOT matter to you – it’s just splitting hairs in your case.

However, if you’re active in the field, it may just be of interest.

Tactics Tuesdays: Transitioning from Social to Intimate

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

seduction transition: social to intimateThe switch from social to intimate vibes with a girl is tricky. It won’t always take. Girls may resist. Yet, switch right, and seduction gets smoother.

Commenting on my article “Girls Don’t WANT You to Move Slow”, James D. references my stages of a successful date and asks about making the transition from a social vibe to a more intimate one. He says

Chase,

Based off this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date

My sticking point is skipping step 6.

After the arrival of sexual topics and vibe (step 5) and I go straight for step 7 (extraction)

Could you please advise on ways to move off that sticking point?

This is a common sticking point for intermediate seducers. Once you get good enough at ‘running the game’, you will find you can easily get deep into solid interactions with girls. The girl is clearly attracted to you. She is eating up your conversation. Things are looking great.

There’s just one problem: everything so far has been flirtatious, yes, there’s touch, sure – but the vibe is a conversational one. You need to switch it to a more intimate vibe. How can you do that?

James D. is doing something I did for a while too, where you decide, “Screw it, the vibe isn’t quite intimate, but hey – we’ve got a good thing going. I’m just going to push things forward and see if I can get her alone somewhere.”

It works sometimes. Other times, despite how seemingly into you the girl may be, she balks at this escalation into the more intimate when vibe-wise she wasn’t ready for it.

If you don’t want her balking, you’re going to need to make that transition a little more smoothly.

Excel at Relationships with Relationship Prizing

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

relationship prizingRelationships fail if you stop viewing yourself as a ‘prize’. Yet, maintain an image as the prize of the relationship and they can remain good indefinitely.

Indulge me for a moment if you will.

I want to tell you something, but it isn’t to brag.

You see, I’m the best thing that could ever happen to a woman.

It doesn’t matter if a woman I’m seeing calls me names or acts like I’m a jerk.

It doesn’t matter if buddies of mine tell me I could treat my women “better than I do.”

Regardless what happens or people say or do, I continue to view myself as the ultimate prize for a woman. It might sound deluded or egotistical, or maybe just plain silly, but I can tell you one thing for sure: it works.

Relationships go how I want them to go. When we hit rocky points, things by and large resolve how I want. Women, no matter how annoyed at me they might get, in the end decide I’m really just an amazing guy. Often I don’t need to do anything special for them to decide that, other than just stick to the frame: I am the prize.

Friends (when not commenting that I could/should “treat women better”) tell me it’s amazing how my relationships remain good and women remain enamored with me over the long-term.

It’s not amazing to me though. I am the prize in my relationships. Why would my relationships NOT stay awesome?

When Girls Act Flakey After You Hook Up

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

girl acts flakey after sexJust because a woman sleeps with you once doesn’t mean she’s yours… yet. Sometimes she may flake or ghost after sex. There exist 3 chief reasons why.

Over on the forum, a new member asked for insight on a girl he’d slept with who’d gone flakey. More accurately, in his case, she’d already been flakey before they hooked up… and merely continued to flake after it:

This girl was social circle but very fringe (I’ll get to that). We met a year ago and kicked it off one night but I didn’t attempt to escalate. Her friend told my friend she liked me and wanted to go home with me but I didn’t even go for number or anything (big miss on my part).

Despite social circle, she was fringe enough that we didn’t see each other again (except for once in passing) until 4 months ago when our friends offered to set us up. We went out and kicked it off and she gave me an escalation window but once again I didn’t sleep with, just got her number and asked her out.

We set up a date a week later and she flaked an hour before. Rescheduled 2 weeks later and it wasn’t a great date, she had plans after so no chance to escalate. She dodged my next invite so I went silent for 6 weeks and reconnected with her about 2 months ago. She seemed excited and agreed to go out.

We went out about 6 weeks ago, had a super fun night, ended up having sex (finally). I tried to parlay this into another hang out, when I asked her out again she told me she’d check her schedule and get back to me. She never did. Effectively ghosted. I saw her twice since then (ran into her in public) and both times she flirted a little but at this point I’m waiting for her to make the move.

Guess I’m just looking for some input on why she ghosted me after sex/what I can do next time to not make a girl who likes me go cold on me.

Does it seem weird that a girl would act flakey toward a guy, then sleep with him anyway?

Is it odd that after sleeping with a guy, she would continue to flake (or start to)?

Read on, and let’s discuss why this happens, and whether there’s anything you can do.

Tactics Tuesdays: Firefighting Romantic Screwups

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

romantic firefightingWhat do you do when you screw up with a girl? Maybe you looked needy, or you accidentally spurned her. Either way, now it’s time for a little firefighting.

Sometimes you are going to screw up with girls.

Perhaps she told you she loves to paint and you blurted out not to quit her day job. Maybe you were supposed to meet her at 3:30 PM but for some reason you thought it was at 5:30 PM and stood her up. Or it could be she hinted for you to move things forward but you missed her signal entirely and just kept chatting with her normally until she started acting disappointed.

Hey, it happens to the best of us. We all screw up sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.

Assuming you haven’t screwed up so bad that all hope is lost, however, you are going to need to firefight. But the WAY you firefight a romantic screwup is going to depend on what kind of screwup it is… how egregiously you screwed up… and how urgent the turnaround must be.