(3) Journeyman

The switch from social to intimate vibes with a girl is tricky. It won’t always take. Girls may resist. Yet, switch right, and seduction gets smoother.

Commenting on my article “Girls Don’t WANT You to Move Slow”, James D. references my stages of a successful date and asks about making the transition from a social vibe to a more intimate one. He says

Chase,

Based off this article:

https://www.girlschase.com/article/trajectory-successful-date

My sticking point is skipping step 6.

After the arrival of sexual topics and vibe (step 5) and I go straight for step 7 (extraction)

Could you please advise on ways to move off that sticking point?

This is a common sticking point for intermediate seducers. Once you get good enough at ‘running the game’, you will find you can easily get deep into solid interactions with girls. The girl is clearly attracted to you. She is eating up your conversation. Things are looking great.

There’s just one problem: everything so far has been flirtatious, yes, there’s touch, sure – but the vibe is a conversational one. You need to switch it to a more intimate vibe. How can you do that?

James D. is doing something I did for a while too, where you decide, “Screw it, the vibe isn’t quite intimate, but hey – we’ve got a good thing going. I’m just going to push things forward and see if I can get her alone somewhere.”

It works sometimes. Other times, despite how seemingly into you the girl may be, she balks at this escalation into the more intimate when vibe-wise she wasn’t ready for it.

If you don’t want her balking, you’re going to need to make that transition a little more smoothly.

Relationships fail if you stop viewing yourself as a ‘prize’. Yet, maintain an image as the prize of the relationship and they can remain good indefinitely.

Indulge me for a moment if you will.

I want to tell you something, but it isn’t to brag.

You see, I’m the best thing that could ever happen to a woman.

It doesn’t matter if a woman I’m seeing calls me names or acts like I’m a jerk.

It doesn’t matter if buddies of mine tell me I could treat my women “better than I do.”

Regardless what happens or people say or do, I continue to view myself as the ultimate prize for a woman. It might sound deluded or egotistical, or maybe just plain silly, but I can tell you one thing for sure: it works.

Relationships go how I want them to go. When we hit rocky points, things by and large resolve how I want. Women, no matter how annoyed at me they might get, in the end decide I’m really just an amazing guy. Often I don’t need to do anything special for them to decide that, other than just stick to the frame: I am the prize.

Friends (when not commenting that I could/should “treat women better”) tell me it’s amazing how my relationships remain good and women remain enamored with me over the long-term.

It’s not amazing to me though. I am the prize in my relationships. Why would my relationships NOT stay awesome?

Just because a woman sleeps with you once doesn’t mean she’s yours… yet. Sometimes she may flake or ghost after sex. There exist 3 chief reasons why.

Over on the forum, a new member asked for insight on a girl he’d slept with who’d gone flakey. More accurately, in his case, she’d already been flakey before they hooked up… and merely continued to flake after it:

This girl was social circle but very fringe (I’ll get to that). We met a year ago and kicked it off one night but I didn’t attempt to escalate. Her friend told my friend she liked me and wanted to go home with me but I didn’t even go for number or anything (big miss on my part).

Despite social circle, she was fringe enough that we didn’t see each other again (except for once in passing) until 4 months ago when our friends offered to set us up. We went out and kicked it off and she gave me an escalation window but once again I didn’t sleep with, just got her number and asked her out.

We set up a date a week later and she flaked an hour before. Rescheduled 2 weeks later and it wasn’t a great date, she had plans after so no chance to escalate. She dodged my next invite so I went silent for 6 weeks and reconnected with her about 2 months ago. She seemed excited and agreed to go out.

We went out about 6 weeks ago, had a super fun night, ended up having sex (finally). I tried to parlay this into another hang out, when I asked her out again she told me she’d check her schedule and get back to me. She never did. Effectively ghosted. I saw her twice since then (ran into her in public) and both times she flirted a little but at this point I’m waiting for her to make the move.

Guess I’m just looking for some input on why she ghosted me after sex/what I can do next time to not make a girl who likes me go cold on me.

Does it seem weird that a girl would act flakey toward a guy, then sleep with him anyway?

Is it odd that after sleeping with a guy, she would continue to flake (or start to)?

Read on, and let’s discuss why this happens, and whether there’s anything you can do.

What do you do when you screw up with a girl? Maybe you looked needy, or you accidentally spurned her. Either way, now it’s time for a little firefighting.

Sometimes you are going to screw up with girls.

Perhaps she told you she loves to paint and you blurted out not to quit her day job. Maybe you were supposed to meet her at 3:30 PM but for some reason you thought it was at 5:30 PM and stood her up. Or it could be she hinted for you to move things forward but you missed her signal entirely and just kept chatting with her normally until she started acting disappointed.

Hey, it happens to the best of us. We all screw up sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.

Assuming you haven’t screwed up so bad that all hope is lost, however, you are going to need to firefight. But the WAY you firefight a romantic screwup is going to depend on what kind of screwup it is… how egregiously you screwed up… and how urgent the turnaround must be.

As Alek Rolstad has progressed as a seducer, he’s continued to incorporate facets of other seducer’s concepts and material. See his later influences here.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Today is part two of my posts on my inspirations. Last week I covered my early inspirations, and today I will discuss my later inspirations.

After nearly 15 years in this field, I have seen it all, including most material. I rarely discover anything new. Sometimes I stumble upon an old post that I missed back in the day or revisit an old post and read it from a more mature and experienced point of view.

So even if I say later inspirations, they are still from my formative years. So, last week’s post covered my earliest inspirations from 2007 to about 2009, and my later inspirations are from 2009 until 2011.

Even if the seducers and methods mentioned here and my last post served as early inspirations, it does not mean that I received what I needed, never to return to it again—I constantly revisit this material.

In 2018, almost ten years after being introduced to Mystery Method, I returned to it, and read it differently. Not only did I understand the concepts better and how they apply in-field, but I saw the method in a new light, emphasizing techniques I had discarded or neglected (often unwillingly) then. Some examples: qualification, body rocking, and locking-in. If you are familiar with Mystery Method (and you should be!), these are not the first techniques that come to mind; it is usually “negs” (backhanded compliments), DHV-Routines (demonstrating high value), and opinion openers. I don’t use those. Unlike what many believe, they do not make up the core of the Mystery Method.

The same can be said for real-world seduction by Swinggcat. I revisited it not long ago. I grasped this method very well, and my interpretation was pretty accurate even back in the day. One can add much fine-tuning to real-world seduction, such as different timings and contextual factors, enhancing the method’s effects. And this is how I used it.

PS: everything will be enhanced if you time the material well. Timing is everything.

Of course, I have revisited the material and methods discussed here often. Some have inspired me in my later days (even recently). Worry not; I will let you know when that is the case.

What makes an after-hours venue good to pick up women is not just that it’s open after hours. Some after-hour clubs are awful. Yet some can be gold mines.

Hi all. I hope you are all doing great.

Today I want to discuss a topic that hasn’t been discussed yet on the site—how to pick up in after-hour venues.

The truth is, picking up girls in these venues is not the same as picking up girls in “normal hours” venues. You should consider many factors and calibrate depending on the venue type.

After-hour venues are unique with their own vibe, rules, and universe, whereas regular clubs are open during hours when people usually party. But after-hours venues are open when people typically leave for home or start heading to work around 8 am. I know of a place that closes at around 11 am! When you exit the club at closing time, it is daytime, and you may see families out and about, and you are dressed flashy and all looking like a mess. Good times.

And yes, it is possible to pull even at that hour! I will get into why shortly. I have taken girls home at 10 or 11 am! I cannot guarantee they will always be the best regarding looks or personality. At that later hour, these women are usually “damaged goods.” Be warned.

We have a lot to discuss. First, let’s look at social dynamics to understand each venue type. Next week, we break down a potential game plan.

People must feel secure in their relationships to stay in them. As relationship trust crumbles, security erodes, and people take steps to guard themselves.

In my four-part relationship model, GISS, the first ‘S’ stands for ‘security.’ Security, as I use it for relationships, means a few things:

• Trust that you are who you seem to be.

• Trust that you can be relied upon for what’s required.

• Trust that no outside forces or events can upend the relationship.

The reason I don’t simply call it ‘trust’ is because all these kinds of trust together create a feeling that the relationship is secure. Yet in the absence of this trust, or as the trust erodes, a sense of insecurity prevails.

How secure should you aim to make your relationships? Many men strive to give their women a sense of total security – greater security, in truth, than they can realistically deliver.

It’s a chaotic world out there, full of uncertainty and unknowns. Just as your woman seeks security in her relationship with you, you bear the responsibility of deciding how strong a sense of security you will give her… and whether you can live up to the impression you allow her to have.