(3) Journeyman

Women love sex, but they can resist it for all sorts of reasons. In this article, we discuss why a girl needs to feel some control and inject her influence into a seduction.

You are getting physically intimate with a girl in a club, things are escalating rapidly, and suddenly you realize you can’t keep going or you’ll have to take off your clothes and go at it in the club.

What do you do?

To get to this point, check out my recent articles on club game if you haven't already:

• Club Game: Get Noticed and Make the Right Impression with Girls
• How to 'Evoke' Touch with Girls in Clubs

Most will say “Ah, whatever” and take what they can get, try to deal with it once they hit the wall, and hope the girl wants to go home with him.

Honestly, this isn’t the worst idea, since you have already done a lot right, and she might forgive a few mistakes here and there.

However, most girls will throw up their defenses during escalation, and if you are unprepared, they will catch you flat-footed and end the relationship before it begins.

So it pays to dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s and get the last part of the escalation right.

Women often resist going home with you because they don’t want to appear slutty. To bypass this issue, all she needs is plausible deniability, which you can provide.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I want to discuss a phase that many men struggle with: the extraction phase. It’s a phase prone to resistance and also the time you get an indication of whether you have successfully built compliance and dealt with her resistance even though other factors like mood changes, wildcards, and logistical factors may pop up at the last minute.

Therefore, I consider this phase important to master. You may get lucky, things may go smoothly, and she goes home with you without you delivering a tight game. But that is simply pure luck, and you cannot rely on this.

You must always try to go for the extraction, whether you feel the vibe is perfect or subprime. The number one reason men do not get laid consistently is that they do not make an invitation for it. They do not try to get the girl to leave with them; they do not try to extract.

Some guys may be too nervous about doing it, or it could be they want to protect their ego and not take the chance to ruin the connection. It feels so much better for your ego to leave a girl, falsely believing you could have banged her. But the truth is, if she did not leave with you, there is no “could have banged her.” You either bang her or you don’t. If you do not try to extract, you will never know.

So, always be extracting.

Even if the vibe is not right, and closing time is near, it is better to just go for it. You never know. Maybe she is an easy one; maybe she is not that into you. She might just decide that it is late and wants to have fun. You don’t know unless you try.

So, always be extracting.

In the past, I’ve discussed how to extract and get her to leave with you. I have also gone over how to go to a girl’s place (the system is very similar, just a few tweaks added).

Here’s the system:

• Reach a high note (generate compliance, reach a peak in emotions and compliance, and strike)

• Give a reason to leave (“It’s so loud in here.”)

• Find an excuse to go back to your place (“Do you like wine? Ah, good, let’s get back to my place and continue this conversation.”)

• Lower the pressure (“I don’t live far away.”)

• Persist (back off, build more compliance, handle potential resistance)

• Try again if you fail (persistence)

This template applies here as well and is probably the standard model most would agree with.

What we will discuss today is how to use plausible deniability to aid your extraction.

We’ve examined this subject before, but I want to give my take on it and add some key points.

To get women in bed fast, adopt a lover’s frame. This gambit accomplishes that with sexual prizing and by displaying your deep understanding of women.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week, we discussed the lover’s frame, what it was, and how it is created. The lover’s frame is different from the provider frame, which involves impressing women with mostly economic resources. Sometimes it gets men laid as a reward for providing for women, but usually, all they may get is a bit of female affection, similar to the friendzone. In best-case scenarios, these men will VERY occasionally get lucky, get laid accidentally, or end up in a relationship, often with a subprime girl, or sometimes with the girl of their dreams.

Back in the day, those relationships likely resulted in marriage, and because of sociocultural factors, those marriages would remain stable. But with today's sexual liberation, this is not the case. Being a provider today is much less likely to be a fruitful mating strategy.

All you do as a provider is pay and provide for little, if anything, in return.

You have a choice: to get political and try to change society, or play the game and calibrate according to the current rules. The latter is the strategy I favor, and sadly, many men hate me for it.

The lover frame allows you to:

• Get laid like a rockstar if that’s what you want, and enjoy a deeper form of erotic connection with a woman who will respect you as a man, not as a result of your wealth

• Have better sex, and more quickly

• Experience less frustration in the seduction process

• Move from banging like a rockstar to building a relationship with the right girl; you’ll have a relationship that builds upon a sexual connection (and from there, a REAL emotional connection)

So, a win-win more or less.

There are two main effects of a strong lover frame:

1. You generate desire as a man who can create strong emotional connections. Any gambits that display sexual prizing can work here. Some examples of gambits that accomplish this include the eight types of orgasm gambit, the orgasm control gambit, the tantra gambit, and the therapist gambit.)

2. You make her feel allowed to act upon her desires. You want to be a man she can allow herself to be sexual with, both socially, but also emotionally (she feels you are the right guy, and you don’t judge her). Low-keyness also helps. Notable gambits here are any that communicate sexual liberalism: the period paradox, the mirror, to name a couple.

Now, what if we can use this knowledge of the lover frame as a gambit itself? This is where it gets interesting.

Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.

Fights and resentment in a relationship can resolve... but not without the right communication. The Olive Rule gives you the ultimate tool to bust relationship roadblocks.

Jesus of Nazareth taught his followers one Golden Rule by which to live their lives, if they wanted to live harmonious, heavenly lives: do unto others as you'd have others do unto you.

It is a rule that appears in many of the world's great religions.

The dhama of Hinduism and Buddhism instructs not to do to others that which you would not want done to you.

Confucius instructs that what you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.

Among the Yoruba, a Nigerian tribe, there is a proverb that says, "One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."

While the Golden Rule governs actions toward another individual, there is a Rule like this that governs relationship communication, too.

This rule permits those who follow it to have happier, healthier, less stressful, more productive, closer, better relationships.

It removes the worst obstacles out of the way of relationship happiness between any two people.

And it makes both parties of a relationship view each other with a far more caring, understanding light.

It is a rule I've taken to calling the Olive Rule, and following it will change how you run your relationships.

A long-distance relationship can work if it’s well-managed. Heed these four requirements and it could turn out to be the best relationship of your life.

My first ever serious relationship had a pretty standard beginning. But, as I was soon to go off to college, this relatively new relationship became a long-distance relationship. Trying to maintain it was a monumentally stupid decision for many reasons.

I had only just begun my journey into the world of dating. I also had not done such a good job creating a good precedent for the relationship. Many good things came out of the relationship, but so did many bad things. Like I say, pretty standard.

But a large part of my suffering resulted because I did not know how to have a healthy long-distance relationship.

It was not something of beauty that would one day blossom into something even more beautiful. It was a leash that spanned several hundred miles. After this relationship ended, I swore off long-distance relationships. Of course, I've since entered into a few more. As a result, I finally learned how to do them properly.

Yes, long-distance relationships can work, but I would not recommend them for the vast majority of men. But sometimes they just happen. You are traveling and meet a woman who absolutely blows your mind. She is a gem. An angel. And also your sexy little minx.

You must return home to real life (or she to hers), but she is worth the effort to keep. You see a future with her. If only a long-distance relationship could work!

Well, it can... IF these four necessities are met. Without them, a long-distance relationship will surely fail. But with them, you've got a fighting chance.

Sex talk is a powerful seduction tool. But when the conversation gets juicy, should you do all the talking or let her chime in? Here are the factors to consider.

The other day I had a very interesting group conversation with Dan, Pablo, and Velasco about investment when delivering sex talk. They all had different perspectives based on their style (remember, they are all part of the “sexual game school”), and all were correct based on the way they do things. From their observations, we agreed that all our pointers had pros and cons.

The discussion was about whether you should do most of the talking when delivering sex talk, or get her to invest back.

My conclusion: it’s dependent on the girl and the circumstances, and also where you are in the seduction (which phase).

So, this is what I will discuss here.

First let’s briefly cover the arguments of the pros and cons of having her invest and participate rather than doing all the talking yourself.

This post is ideal for advanced players who want to add additional calibration to their verbal game. Beginners should do 60–65% of the talking, and let her do 35–40% (approximations, not rules set in stone).

We will focus mostly on sex talk, but I strongly believe it applies to any verbal game. The tips below will help create a verbal game that:

• Is intriguing

• Elicits strong emotions

• Sets a strong frame

A powerful verbal game sets a sexual frame, a high social value, or can be very hypnotic. Weaker (or fluffy) verbal game is different because it is far less powerful, so it is better to have her invest more in that case, because if you are doing all the talking, it will not be as powerful. So you may as well make her invest.