(3) Journeyman

When a girl flakes on you, get her back by reverse flaking on her. You might not think it'd work – but psychology is weird (and it does work).

Over the years I've coached a lot of guys into getting girls out on dates who'd repeatedly flaked on them or ignored their messages.

There's a trick I use with this (credit: BradP) where you flip the frame on a flakey girl, and present yourself as the flaker and her as the flakey.

When I spell it out for you here, you're going to think of course it will never work.

It sounds like something that'd be so obvious no woman would ever fall for it.

Yet, even if she picks up on what you're doing (and not every girl will), it still works.

The effect is still there. She feels the emotions, feels like you flaked on her rather than the reverse, and you feel scarce and in-demand to her.

These emotions make her suddenly much more interested in coming out to meet you.

I've personally typed out messages for friends and students to send using this method that turned girls who were avoiding them into girls willing to come meet up with just a single text.

In this article, I'll tell you how I do that.

Guys do things all the time with girls they were 99% of the way there with that cause those women to resist sex. If you know what these mistakes are, though, they're simple enough to avoid.

I've been hearing a lot of "I got this girl right up to the point where we were about to have sex, then I hit a sudden unexpected wall of LMR and she left" stories lately.

I don't know if women have suddenly gotten a lot more finicky about closing for some guys due to lockdown reasons, or if it's just a random spike of these cases I'm hearing. Probably the latter.

However, I have found myself repeatedly reviewing guys' retellings of their bedroom seductions, then pointing out to them areas that I notice them doing stuff that is going to make women resist them.

Often when I point these areas out, they themselves say, "Yeah, I also felt like something was off at that moment."

So it seems like most guys pick up on when something happens during their escalations that isn't supposed to. They just aren't experienced or attuned enough yet to get out in front of it and prevent it. It's a semi-conscious right brain awareness rather than a fully conscious left brain one.

What we'll do here is review the primary things you need for a smooth escalation that avoids last minute resistance (LMR) and gives you a straight path to bed with girls.

You're going to want these tools in your arsenal for better, more effective seductions.

Barriers are a way to set up small 'walls' a woman must climb with you. In climbing these small walls, you can make a girl start to chase you.

The other day in my article on the click moment I mentioned the use of barriers.

Barriers are a tactic I've touched on only a bit before (in my article from long ago on being a challenge to women).

Today I want to go a lot more in-depth about this powerful technique.

If you're not using barriers, you're missing out on an outstanding tool to get the women you talk to chasing you.

So let's get you using them.

With every girl-getting tactic you use, if it works, there's a Click Moment. What is that? It's the moment the tactic causes her mindset to shift. It clicks.

There's a moment with every tactic or strategy you use where if it's going to click, it clicks.

If you have any experience in the field you've seen this: you're doing something with a girl (be it cold reads or playful banter or deep dives or sex talk) and she reacts okay to it for a while.

Not committed to it. Not deeply invested in it. Perhaps marginally interested in it.

Then, at some point, it suddenly clicks.

She is into it. Her mindset has shifted. You can feel that she trusts you to continue leading this approach she now enjoys.

The click moment is the answer to a question plagues guys from beginner to intermediate (and sometimes beyond):

When do you move off using a given pickup tactic and move things to the next step?

For instance, let's say you're teasing a girl. You're teasing her, and teasing her... when do you stop all that teasing and move to a more substantial connection?

Let's say you're in a fun, banter-y text exchange with a girl. When do you kill the banter and tell her to meet up?

Let's say you've started connecting with her and it's going well. When to you halt the connection and move to the next step?

Let's say you're making out with her. When do you stop the make-out and move to full-on escalation?

Most beginners struggle mightily with making these calls. They will spend far too long in one of these stages, trying to 'be sure', and end up inflating the tactic and the pickup crumbles.

The girl breaks out of the spell and the whole thing ends.

Guys who are intermediates tend to do better at moving things along well in earlier stages of the courtship. But then they fall into the same inflation/spell breaking scenario with their later-stage tactics, where they again spend too long on them (to be 'safe').

How do you know when a tactic has worked, and it's time to move on to the next stage?

The easiest way is to look for the Click Moment, and the escalation window that follows it.

You can mirror a woman's behavior to turn her on, break the pattern she's in, or even get her chasing. They key, of course, is calibrating this to her.

There's a tactic you can use to inject a lot of playfulness and looseness into your interactions with women.

It's a thing I call 'behavior mirroring'.

You've probably done this yourself from time to time. Usually if you've done it, you've done it to be playful, to break tension, or to point out something ridiculous a woman's doing.

All you're doing with it is mirroring for a woman - playfully - behavior that either she herself has displayed, or that women stereotypically display.

You can cover the whole gamut of extremes with this, too: from very subtle mirroring, to outlandish, over-the-top mirroring.

Let's have a look at how it works.

If you want someone to make the right choice, don't give only one option. Juxtapose your preferred Gold Choice against an okay-yet-inferior Bronze Choice.

I talked yesterday with our sales specialist, Rob.

We spoke about the new coaching page we're setting up, with a video by me that talks about coaching and an option for audience members to book a free call with Rob to discuss coaching packages.

I said how we'd tossed out the initial version of the page, which our writer made about getting viewers to choose a coach.

Instead we made the page totally focused on getting a reader to sign up for the free call.

(by the way, if you want to know more about coaching with Girls Chase, just shoot Rob an email at coaching@girlschase.com -- he'll hop on a call with you to fill you in on options)

And Rob noted that yes, something he'd noticed in years of working with clients: when he talks to a guy, listens to his situation, and tells him, "This is the coach for you. You're going to want to book coaching with this instructor," he closes a lot of sales.

However, if he tells the prospective client, "Here are our different coaches. There's this coach, who is best at this. And there's that coach, who is best at that. There's also this other coach, who's really good at XYZ. Which coach would you like?" he always gets the same response:

"Oh, ah, I'll have to think about it. Let me get back to you."

And then the client never calls him back.

And I told him yes, that's right, Rob! You've discovered an important sales principle: you don't give the prospect too many choices.

Ideally, you only give him one.

One you suspect will be right for him.

And if you must give choices (if, for instance, he isn't sold on the first one you give him), the other choices you give typically must help sell the first choice you offered... not sell themselves as real alternatives.

I call this Gold Choices vs. Bronze Choices.

And it applies every bit as much to your interactions with women as it does to sales.

Now that you've gone in indirect, and increased her compliance, it's time to make a move and escalate the vibe.

Hey guys. And welcome back.

Today we will continue and bring to a close our series on indirect game.

Previously we discussed how to show interest the right way when using indirect game — When? How much? How? — while keeping your interest levels in her unknown or ambiguous (depending on your style) to make her curious, compliant, and eventually get her to start chasing you.

Then we discussed how to reinforce this method by using a reward and punish mechanism. Women are attention-craving, and whenever a woman acts compliant to you (for instance, by showing interest), you reward her with attention (for example, through escalation). If not, you punish her by cutting her source of validation (like ignoring her for a while).

Indirect game is a fantastic way of meeting and seducing women. It allows you to build compliance unbeknownst to the girl because of your ambiguous indirect stance. If being indirect fails to get her compliance, it can at least buy you time — since you do not force early rejections — to use other compliance-building techniques, like sex talk, to turn a less favorable situation around.

It is easy to overfocus hiding your interest in a girl to avoid feeding her attention-craving needs and keeping her compliance levels up. What usually happens is guys risk being too passive. Things don’t escalate, and nothing happens. This is a trap I fell into when I started out, and I know many fall into it.

Good indirect game is not the equivalent of being passive. At some point, you have to make a move, or it will all go to waste.

Today we will discuss the importance of escalating the vibe vibe and clarify what may seem like a contradiction: keeping your interest levels ambiguous (being “indirect”) while escalating the vibe (making a move, seemingly being “direct”).

We will also cover how indirect game helps you lay the groundwork for escalating the vibe and how indirect game can help you whenever she resists.