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(3) Journeyman

Journeyman have been at it a while and have begun to develop major good habits and success streaks as practitioners of the social arts

Should You Flake on Her First? Well, There Are 5 Pros and 3 Cons

Chase Amante's picture
flake on her first
It's an old tactic, but you may not have tried it. Should you flake on your date first… before she flakes on you? There are 5 good reasons to… yet 3 cons to keep in mind.

There's an old flake-reduction tactic I first learned about 14 years ago.

The tactic is simple: you flake on her first.

This guy who told me about it mentioned he'd flaked first on his last six dates. Then he rescheduled his meets with them. Each of the six jumped into bed with him on Date #1. None of his dates flaked on him back.

He was still testing it out, he said, and couldn't confirm it was an always-reliable technique... but the early signs looked promising.

I filed that away mentally as an interesting anecdote, but not something I was bold enough to try at the time. At the time, I was only just starting out. I still needed to worry about getting dates in the first place... I was not in a place to start flaking on those dates.

1.5 years and a fair bit of romantic progress later, I had a date with a very attractive girl. However, I also had a lot of things going on. And I forgot the date. I was at a trendy upscale nightclub with a friend, and in the midst of talking to new girls, forgot I had one I was supposed to meet up with that night already.

Well, my date messaged. I saw the message, realized I'd forgotten the date, and told her I wasn't coming. Then she called. I had to awkwardly apologize and tell her I'd forgotten I'd promised my friend we'd hang out.

"So... you're not coming?" she asked again.

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I can't tonight," I said.

"... okay," she said.

I apologized again, and hung up. I felt really bad.

The next day I texted her, apologized again, and offered to reschedule. She accepted.

A few days later I met up with her. She was more or less ready to go already when I arrived. We had a few drinks at the bar, she was super flirtatious, then I pulled her. Two hours into the date I shagged her. We went a few rounds, and she was super sweet to me after.

I was... surprised how it played out, to say the least. "I thought she'd want nothing to do with me after I forgot our date," I thought.

Then I remembered that instructor's experiments 1.5 years earlier. 'Flake on her first' had worked for me, just as it had for him. And I definitely wasn't advanced at that point yet, either.

Maybe it wasn't such a challenging tactic to pull off, after all.

5-Minute Lays: How to Use Fast Escalation State to Make Rapid Pulls

Xander Papatonis's picture

Editor's Note: please welcome our newest contributor, XANDER PAPATONIS, a long-time member of the GC forum and a lone wolf who enjoys the fruits of nightlife and the social arts. He is a lover of surfing through social circles and venues... only to go rogue and steal women away for the evening. Here he shares his strategy for making crazy-fast pulls with wet-and-ready girls.

fast sex with horny women
Sometimes you meet a girl who has been cooking in a sexpot all night and is primed for cock. She’s just looking for a cool guy to supply it. Here’s how to be that guy.

Women’s arousal is like a crockpot, and men’s is like a microwave.

A microwave is fast and prepares meals quickly. You pop your meal in, it gets zapped, and voilà! Your sausage is ready! The man puts himself under the right stimulus and boom — ready to go.

A crockpot, however, cooks its meals low and slow but stays at a warmer temperature for a longer time. It slowly becomes steamy and simmers all the ingredients until finally, dinner is prepared. Experienced foodies know that even when the food looks about ready, that last 5% is still needed before you can enjoy your cuisine.

When most men stumble upon a sexual prospect, they can ready themselves in a jiffy. If they have the know-how to recognize sexual indicators, or in the extreme example of an aggressive woman who throws herself at a man, their dick does most of the thinking. Boners are “popped,” my friends. It doesn’t take long.

Women, on the other hand, usually require a bit more. Typically, it’s a combination of factors that allow them to come into their sexual state. Screening, keeping their reputation good among friends, and having fat girls who they go out with are all roadblocks down arousal lane in the mind of a woman.

That said, sometimes you’ll stumble into a kitchen and the crockpot’s already been cooking. The food’s almost done. That is, you’ll stumble upon a woman, and she’s already super horny.

Beauty Is the Reward of Valor

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

beauty is the reward of valor
Women don't respond to timorous men. But they respond (in almost shocking ways) to strong, driven, valiant ones… with beauty as valor's reward.

Writing of the invasion in 396 A.D. of Alaric and the Goths into Greece (not long before the fall of Rome, and well after Greece had declined as a regional power and slid into decadence and decay), Edward Gibbon notes:

The troops which had been posted to defend the Straits of Thermopylae, retired, as they were directed, without attempting to disturb the secure and rapid passage of Alaric; and the fertile fields of Phocis and Boeotia were instantly covered by a deluge of Barbarians who massacred the males of an age to bear arms, and drove away the beautiful females, with the spoil and cattle of the flaming villages.

...

The vases and statues were distributed among the Barbarians, with more regard to the value of the materials, than to the elegance of the workmanship; the female captives submitted to the laws of war; the enjoyment of beauty was the reward of valor; and the Greeks could not reasonably complain of an abuse which was justified by the example of the heroic times.

The descendants of that extraordinary people, who had considered valor and discipline as the walls of Sparta, no longer remembered the generous reply of their ancestors to an invader more formidable than Alaric. "If thou art a god, thou wilt not hurt those who have never injured thee; if thou art a man, advance:—and thou wilt find men equal to thyself."

The Goths had finished sacking Asia Minor, yet, unable to breach the walls of Constantinople, had wheeled about, crossed back into Europe, and burned a path through Greece.

The Greeks, no longer the manly warriors of their forebears, retreated, leaving the pass of Thermopylae unguarded. 900 years earlier, the Spartan King Leonidas I had for three days resisted a 100,000-man Persian army with a force of 300 Spartans and 700 Thespians at Thermopylae. And even only 140 years earlier, circa 250 A.D., the Greeks halted an earlier Gothic invasion at Thermopylae. This time, however, the soft and timorous Greeks retreated from the pass, and the Goths carved through, slaughtered the young men like pigs, and took the females as their prizes.

You might at first pity the Greeks.

Poor soft, unwarrior-like, decadent Greeks, invaded by the savage Goths, the quivering young men of Greece murdered, the fair young women of Greece carried away as war brides.

Yet, the people and land of Greece were hers to lose. Her soldiers shrunk back in fear of the invading Goths, and the Goths claimed their spoils, of blood, gold, and women.

And as Gibbon says, the enjoyment of beauty is the reward of valor.

Beauty is not something enjoyed by the man too cowardly to earn it.

In your own life, too, if you wish to enjoy beauty, you must behave with valor.

How to Bridge Your Conversations with Girls into Juicy Topics

Alek Rolstad's picture

conversations with girls
To get a women hot and horny, you’ve got to steer the conversation toward seduction-friendly topics. Bridging helps you easily transition into your juiciest material.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I’ll get practical. I will not share any complex techniques or gambits but instead return to fundamentals. I’ll cover a basic conversational management tool that any seducer will need.

The topic for today is bridging. It is not complicated, and the tools you will learn can be applied to any field, not only pickup and seduction.

If you are a guy who struggles with transitioning into sex talk, this post is for you. If you occasionally run out of things to say, this post is for you, too. If you have conversations that go nowhere, this post will help.

If you want more control over your interactions, you have come to the right place.

Since this post covers fundamentals, does it mean this is a post for beginners? Well, yes. But intermediates often are ironically unfamiliar with what I am about to cover. Therefore, this post is for them, too.

What about advanced players? I am pretty sure that most advanced posters are already doing what I am about to discuss unconsciously. But it is helpful for advanced players to be aware of what they are doing, not only to gain a better understanding of their own game but also to make it better, fine-tune, and do it right more often. So this post is for them, too, even though this information will be most beneficial to beginners and intermediates.

The Many Benefits of Learning Indirect Day Game

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

indirect day game
Direct openers are great for some guys, but they can get old. Once that happens, or if you’re just not into them, go indirect. It can really pay off with practice.

When I first started learning pickup, almost nobody was doing direct day game. Not as we know it, anyway.

Now it’s all the rage, with day game videos amassing hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube and new day game coaches breeding like rabbits.

I think it’s great. The more men who learn how to find their balls, the better. I just want to point out that you’re stunting your growth if you limit yourself to this one style.

Can Pickup and Seduction Have a Higher Purpose than Just Hedonism?

Alek Rolstad's picture

seduction higher purpose
If you could no longer pick up chicks and put your dick in them, would you have a reason to live? Well, that happened to me (for two weeks), and here’s what I discovered.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Last week I discussed hedonism as it relates to pickup and seduction.

Here's a link to that article if you haven't had a chance to read it yet:

Pickup and seduction are often seen as a hedonistic activity (which I do not disagree with) since they focus on the short-term and superficial pursuit of pleasure. Hedonism is often seen as the desire to acquire initial satisfaction with a lack of long-term satisfaction.

Some criticize hedonism when considering these points.

In my previous article, we discussed whether this hedonistic aspect of seduction was harmful and whether it was morally wrong. We concluded that it was not wrong if you considered it a hobby or a leisure activity.

Everyone in well-functioning societies has incorporated hedonistic activities into their daily lives. It could be drinking with friends, eating unhealthy food occasionally, going bowling, playing pool, or something else.

We separate work and leisure. We work hard, then get some time off to enjoy fun spare-time activities. We need to see pickup and seduction as just that, and there is nothing wrong with that.

But some have been into this for a long time, and others get so obsessed that it becomes central to their identity. Some see pickup and seduction as a lifestyle choice. If this sounds like you, this post is for you.

Women Resist Intimacy When They Feel They Have No Influence

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

resistance to sex
Women love sex, but they can resist it for all sorts of reasons. In this article, we discuss why a girl needs to feel some control and inject her influence into a seduction.

You are getting physically intimate with a girl in a club, things are escalating rapidly, and suddenly you realize you can’t keep going or you’ll have to take off your clothes and go at it in the club.

What do you do?

To get to this point, check out my recent articles on club game if you haven't already:

Most will say “Ah, whatever” and take what they can get, try to deal with it once they hit the wall, and hope the girl wants to go home with him.

Honestly, this isn’t the worst idea, since you have already done a lot right, and she might forgive a few mistakes here and there.

However, most girls will throw up their defenses during escalation, and if you are unprepared, they will catch you flat-footed and end the relationship before it begins.

So it pays to dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s and get the last part of the escalation right.

How to Use Plausible Deniability to Get Her to Leave with You

Alek Rolstad's picture

how to get her to leave with you
Women often resist going home with you because they don’t want to appear slutty. To bypass this issue, all she needs is plausible deniability, which you can provide.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Today I want to discuss a phase that many men struggle with: the extraction phase. It’s a phase prone to resistance and also the time you get an indication of whether you have successfully built compliance and dealt with her resistance even though other factors like mood changes, wildcards, and logistical factors may pop up at the last minute.

Therefore, I consider this phase important to master. You may get lucky, things may go smoothly, and she goes home with you without you delivering a tight game. But that is simply pure luck, and you cannot rely on this.

You must always try to go for the extraction, whether you feel the vibe is perfect or subprime. The number one reason men do not get laid consistently is that they do not make an invitation for it. They do not try to get the girl to leave with them; they do not try to extract.

Some guys may be too nervous about doing it, or it could be they want to protect their ego and not take the chance to ruin the connection. It feels so much better for your ego to leave a girl, falsely believing you could have banged her. But the truth is, if she did not leave with you, there is no “could have banged her.” You either bang her or you don’t. If you do not try to extract, you will never know.

So, always be extracting.

Even if the vibe is not right, and closing time is near, it is better to just go for it. You never know. Maybe she is an easy one; maybe she is not that into you. She might just decide that it is late and wants to have fun. You don’t know unless you try.

So, always be extracting.

In the past, I’ve discussed how to extract and get her to leave with you. I have also gone over how to go to a girl’s place (the system is very similar, just a few tweaks added).

Here’s the system:

  • Reach a high note (generate compliance, reach a peak in emotions and compliance, and strike)

  • Give a reason to leave (“It’s so loud in here.”)

  • Find an excuse to go back to your place (“Do you like wine? Ah, good, let’s get back to my place and continue this conversation.”)

  • Lower the pressure (“I don’t live far away.”)

  • Persist (back off, build more compliance, handle potential resistance)

  • Try again if you fail (persistence)

This template applies here as well and is probably the standard model most would agree with.

What we will discuss today is how to use plausible deniability to aid your extraction.

We’ve examined this subject before, but I want to give my take on it and add some key points.

Pickup and Seduction Gambit: The Good Lover

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

good lover seduction gambit
To get women in bed fast, adopt a lover’s frame. This gambit accomplishes that with sexual prizing and by displaying your deep understanding of women.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Last week, we discussed the lover’s frame, what it was, and how it is created. The lover’s frame is different from the provider frame, which involves impressing women with mostly economic resources. Sometimes it gets men laid as a reward for providing for women, but usually, all they may get is a bit of female affection, similar to the friendzone. In best-case scenarios, these men will VERY occasionally get lucky, get laid accidentally, or end up in a relationship, often with a subprime girl, or sometimes with the girl of their dreams.

Back in the day, those relationships likely resulted in marriage, and because of sociocultural factors, those marriages would remain stable. But with today's sexual liberation, this is not the case. Being a provider today is much less likely to be a fruitful mating strategy.

All you do as a provider is pay and provide for little, if anything, in return.

You have a choice: to get political and try to change society, or play the game and calibrate according to the current rules. The latter is the strategy I favor, and sadly, many men hate me for it.

The lover frame allows you to:

  • Get laid like a rockstar if that’s what you want, and enjoy a deeper form of erotic connection with a woman who will respect you as a man, not as a result of your wealth

  • Have better sex, and more quickly

  • Experience less frustration in the seduction process

  • Move from banging like a rockstar to building a relationship with the right girl; you’ll have a relationship that builds upon a sexual connection (and from there, a REAL emotional connection)

So, a win-win more or less.

There are two main effects of a strong lover frame:

  1. You generate desire as a man who can create strong emotional connections. Any gambits that display sexual prizing can work here. Some examples of gambits that accomplish this include the eight types of orgasm gambit, the orgasm control gambit, the tantra gambit, and the therapist gambit.)

  2. You make her feel allowed to act upon her desires. You want to be a man she can allow herself to be sexual with, both socially, but also emotionally (she feels you are the right guy, and you don’t judge her). Low-keyness also helps. Notable gambits here are any that communicate sexual liberalism: the period paradox, the mirror, to name a couple.

Now, what if we can use this knowledge of the lover frame as a gambit itself? This is where it gets interesting.

Tactics Tuesdays: For Resistant Girls, Use This Parting Shot

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

resistant girl parting shot
Some girls like to be with you and have your attention, but won't let you escalate. If you reach the point where you're ready to bail on them, before you do, do this.

I've talked about parting shots on Girls Chase before.

A parting shot is anything you say to a girl before you ditch her, leave her behind, or otherwise cut contact with her, because it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with her.

It is, in my opinion, not great form to simply walk away from a woman you've invested time and energy into, and had even a bit of a connection with and got a little ways with, without a parting shot.

The reason for this is simple: sometimes women play games, under the assumption that you will continue to play games.

They do this because most guys will.

But you're not most guys.

And before you shove off, it's important that women understand that.