(3) Journeyman

Name a woman's behavior to alter it. Most people aren't conscious of what they're doing or why… when you make her conscious, you change her trajectory.

People do all sorts of things without being conscious they're doing them.

They engage in behaviors -- often behaviors they don't themselves feel good about -- driven by emotions they're barely aware of.

You, however, at the very least by reading this site, are a student of human behavior. You're more conscious of the things you do and why... and you are more conscious of what those around you do, and why.

And when you point out to someone what he is doing, and make him conscious of it, often that is going to affect whether and how much he continues to do that thing.

If what he's doing is something negative, that shows a trait like jealousy or insecurity, you pointing it out is going to tend to motivate him to assert control over that behavior.

You can use this 'behavior naming' with women to help nudge them into fixing or quitting bad behavior they engage in around you.

How can one gain more control over how his interactions with women play out? Let’s talk about a less-visible yet hugely impactful factor that will bring concrete changes.

When it comes to seduction, you may be limited in the things you can change regarding your initial impressions with girls. You can smile, act confident, use verbal routines, and improve your fashion and  body language.

However, no matter how much you try to change what you are doing or look like, you remain relatively the same person as where you started.

So the question I’ll address in this article is: are there concrete changes you can make to consistently increase your odds of seducing a girl? If so, how do you learn what to do?

If you have an agreement with a woman, then time passes, and she wants to renegotiate for yet more favorable terms… what do you do?

A woman writes on Reddit about her relationship:

I’ll try to keep this short... my fiancé and I have been together for 5 years now. I knew very early in the relationship I had no intention of taking his last name. After the first year or so of dating when we talked about the future I mentioned I wouldn't want to take his last name because I like my last name. I’m second generation Italian and my last name reflects that. It’s an important aspect of who I am and my fiancé at the time understood. I said I probably would be fine if any kids we had had his last name and we dropped the conversation since it was so early in the relationship.

Fast forward four years we are obviously much closer to actually having kids then when we had that initial conversation. I mentioned today that I’m not sure I want the kids to just have his last name. I explained that it didn’t seem fair for them to be half genetically mine, and for me to carry them for nine months but for their names only to reflect him. I listed some options other people do, hyphenating the names, using one last name as a middle name, making a new combined last name, etc. To be clear this would only be for the kids I’m not asking him to change his name.

He said this wasn’t fair because he had already “compromised” by saying I could keep my name and that I told him the kids could have his last name so I can’t change my mind. I told him I’ve changed my mind as we have matured and the prospect of kids has become more real (which in my mind seems more fair then holding me to an off hand comment several years ago) but he is still extremely upset and not talking to me.

Now, Reddit, as you might expect, being Reddit, is in full support of this woman.

I'm not really interested in whether she should take your name, or the kids should take her name, or you hyphenate last names, or whatever. The whole situation is frankly a little ridiculous.

Regardless, my interest in this seemingly petty affair is this: what do you if you've already established something in a relationship, and then your woman decides to unilaterally change it?

The guy here was obviously upset. But look how he reacted: he just went off and sulked.

This is not the way you deal with someone attempting to renegotiate previously settled terms.

When a woman wants to pull a switcheroo on you, you don't beg, plead, or sulk.

Instead, if you can't shut it down, or talk it out calmly, you pull a switcheroo right back.

Sometimes you want to open up to a girl and tell her your fears and weaknesses. But this behavior itself is a weakness – and you should not indulge it.

I have seen a certain behavior since I got into the seduction community that seems to be fairly common.

It is a behavior of men seeking to bond with women by opening up about their weaknesses, foibles, and fears. Or else seeking to use women as de facto therapists.

The end result is rarely what the man hopes for: instead, it hardens the woman on the man, turns her against him, and leads to him (the man) getting hurt.

Every time I see a man do this, my reaction is, "Why would you do that?"

And a lot of the time the man will answer with, "I thought she would care about me," or, "I just wanted to feel accepted," or, "I thought it was safe to open up to her."

Or they will say, "I thought women liked vulnerability."

It is true, women do like vulnerability. However, they like strong vulnerability.

They despise weakness.

Women are not cruel by default. But they very often are cruel to men they view as weak. This is an important principle to understand: women are kind to strong men, and cruel to weak men. This is because women adore strong men, and women despise weak men.

Even women with good hearts. Even women who do not want to hurt anyone. If you show weakness (not vulnerability, but weakness) to a woman, she is going to feel the emotion of disgust. She may be self-aware enough to resist this emotion, and recognize an injured soul and tell herself to feel compassion for you, but she is still going to be disgusted nevertheless.

You must not go around showing or flaunting weaknesses to women.

Especially not women you want to sleep with or have any kind of ongoing relationship with.

It's an old tactic, but you may not have tried it. Should you flake on your date first… before she flakes on you? There are 5 good reasons to… yet 3 cons to keep in mind.

There's an old flake-reduction tactic I first learned about 14 years ago.

The tactic is simple: you flake on her first.

This guy who told me about it mentioned he'd flaked first on his last six dates. Then he rescheduled his meets with them. Each of the six jumped into bed with him on Date #1. None of his dates flaked on him back.

He was still testing it out, he said, and couldn't confirm it was an always-reliable technique... but the early signs looked promising.

I filed that away mentally as an interesting anecdote, but not something I was bold enough to try at the time. At the time, I was only just starting out. I still needed to worry about getting dates in the first place... I was not in a place to start flaking on those dates.

1.5 years and a fair bit of romantic progress later, I had a date with a very attractive girl. However, I also had a lot of things going on. And I forgot the date. I was at a trendy upscale nightclub with a friend, and in the midst of talking to new girls, forgot I had one I was supposed to meet up with that night already.

Well, my date messaged. I saw the message, realized I'd forgotten the date, and told her I wasn't coming. Then she called. I had to awkwardly apologize and tell her I'd forgotten I'd promised my friend we'd hang out.

"So... you're not coming?" she asked again.

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I can't tonight," I said.

"... okay," she said.

I apologized again, and hung up. I felt really bad.

The next day I texted her, apologized again, and offered to reschedule. She accepted.

A few days later I met up with her. She was more or less ready to go already when I arrived. We had a few drinks at the bar, she was super flirtatious, then I pulled her. Two hours into the date I shagged her. We went a few rounds, and she was super sweet to me after.

I was... surprised how it played out, to say the least. "I thought she'd want nothing to do with me after I forgot our date," I thought.

Then I remembered that instructor's experiments 1.5 years earlier. 'Flake on her first' had worked for me, just as it had for him. And I definitely wasn't advanced at that point yet, either.

Maybe it wasn't such a challenging tactic to pull off, after all.

Editor's Note: please welcome our newest contributor, XANDER PAPATONIS, a long-time member of the GC forum and a lone wolf who enjoys the fruits of nightlife and the social arts. He is a lover of surfing through social circles and venues... only to go rogue and steal women away for the evening. Here he shares his strategy for making crazy-fast pulls with wet-and-ready girls.

Sometimes you meet a girl who has been cooking in a sexpot all night and is primed for cock. She’s just looking for a cool guy to supply it. Here’s how to be that guy.

Women’s arousal is like a crockpot, and men’s is like a microwave.

A microwave is fast and prepares meals quickly. You pop your meal in, it gets zapped, and voilà! Your sausage is ready! The man puts himself under the right stimulus and boom — ready to go.

A crockpot, however, cooks its meals low and slow but stays at a warmer temperature for a longer time. It slowly becomes steamy and simmers all the ingredients until finally, dinner is prepared. Experienced foodies know that even when the food looks about ready, that last 5% is still needed before you can enjoy your cuisine.

When most men stumble upon a sexual prospect, they can ready themselves in a jiffy. If they have the know-how to recognize sexual indicators, or in the extreme example of an aggressive woman who throws herself at a man, their dick does most of the thinking. Boners are “popped,” my friends. It doesn’t take long.

Women, on the other hand, usually require a bit more. Typically, it’s a combination of factors that allow them to come into their sexual state. Screening, keeping their reputation good among friends, and having fat girls who they go out with are all roadblocks down arousal lane in the mind of a woman.

That said, sometimes you’ll stumble into a kitchen and the crockpot’s already been cooking. The food’s almost done. That is, you’ll stumble upon a woman, and she’s already super horny.

Women don't respond to timorous men. But they respond (in almost shocking ways) to strong, driven, valiant ones… with beauty as valor's reward.

Writing of the invasion in 396 A.D. of Alaric and the Goths into Greece (not long before the fall of Rome, and well after Greece had declined as a regional power and slid into decadence and decay), Edward Gibbon notes:

The troops which had been posted to defend the Straits of Thermopylae, retired, as they were directed, without attempting to disturb the secure and rapid passage of Alaric; and the fertile fields of Phocis and Boeotia were instantly covered by a deluge of Barbarians who massacred the males of an age to bear arms, and drove away the beautiful females, with the spoil and cattle of the flaming villages.

...

The vases and statues were distributed among the Barbarians, with more regard to the value of the materials, than to the elegance of the workmanship; the female captives submitted to the laws of war; the enjoyment of beauty was the reward of valor; and the Greeks could not reasonably complain of an abuse which was justified by the example of the heroic times.

The descendants of that extraordinary people, who had considered valor and discipline as the walls of Sparta, no longer remembered the generous reply of their ancestors to an invader more formidable than Alaric. "If thou art a god, thou wilt not hurt those who have never injured thee; if thou art a man, advance:—and thou wilt find men equal to thyself."

The Goths had finished sacking Asia Minor, yet, unable to breach the walls of Constantinople, had wheeled about, crossed back into Europe, and burned a path through Greece.

The Greeks, no longer the manly warriors of their forebears, retreated, leaving the pass of Thermopylae unguarded. 900 years earlier, the Spartan King Leonidas I had for three days resisted a 100,000-man Persian army with a force of 300 Spartans and 700 Thespians at Thermopylae. And even only 140 years earlier, circa 250 A.D., the Greeks halted an earlier Gothic invasion at Thermopylae. This time, however, the soft and timorous Greeks retreated from the pass, and the Goths carved through, slaughtered the young men like pigs, and took the females as their prizes.

You might at first pity the Greeks.

Poor soft, unwarrior-like, decadent Greeks, invaded by the savage Goths, the quivering young men of Greece murdered, the fair young women of Greece carried away as war brides.

Yet, the people and land of Greece were hers to lose. Her soldiers shrunk back in fear of the invading Goths, and the Goths claimed their spoils, of blood, gold, and women.

And as Gibbon says, the enjoyment of beauty is the reward of valor.

Beauty is not something enjoyed by the man too cowardly to earn it.

In your own life, too, if you wish to enjoy beauty, you must behave with valor.