(2) Intermediate

A statement of interest (SOI) lets you directly state interest in a girl you like. There are pros and cons to this – yet if short on time it can be ideal.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have shared a few posts on qualification recently. Today, I’ll discuss another way of qualifying girls that is more direct, depending on the context. Qualifying a girl creates that dynamic so she matches your standards and you match hers, usually due to her qualifying to you first. You want to do this to develop the mutual attraction between you two and create an “it’s on” (or a “click” ) moment.

One usually starts the qualification process after a girl shows significant interest to solidify the bond and reinforce the vibe between you two. After all, you want to generate compliance (attraction) AND get something out of the interaction. Your goal is to escalate the vibe and create that bond— a “you two are meant to be” type of vibe. The latter will facilitate the escalation process.

Sometimes, generating compliance may be enough; however, the process is easier when you qualify the girl. It reduces resistance; she feels more comfortable and allowed—“he and I are meant to be.” As she thinks that, she will backward-rationalize that escalating the vibe with you is positive and natural. It is okay and normal to escalate the vibe with men she feels that connection with, right?

What does qualification look like? Here is a template:

1. Use a qualifier. You want to trigger a qualification by using a qualifier: challenge her on something, ask if she is X (that you find attractive), or ask for an opinion.

2. If she qualifies and meets your expectations and standards, she is qualifying to you.

3. Qualify to her. As she qualifies to you, consider it good behavior on her end. Now reward her by qualifying back. This is the moment you show interest back.

The idea is to show interest without appearing needy while reconciling her attraction with yours. I have discussed the ins and outs of this in my previous post.

Here is an example:

Me: [talking about a subject that involves adventure]…and by the way, are you adventurous? (Qualifying her)

Her: Yes! I am! Blahblahblah (her qualifying to you)

Me: Oh! I love adventurous people! (Qualifying to her)

You’ll find plenty of examples in my previous articles.

The way a man dresses is like a megaphone to the world: it says much about him. It’s key the message a man’s clothes convey is both attractive – & accurate.

On the forum, we have a member who’s become fascinated with the idea of dressing like a bad boy. He got the idea from a few of us guys talking about dramatic results we’ve seen with attraction from women simply from upgrading our wardrobes.

There’s just one problem: the forum member in question is very clearly not a bad boy… in fact, he doesn’t even seem to grasp what “being a bad boy” is, or how to act like one.

Even if he succeeds in dressing like a super sexy modern day bad boy, he’s going to run into a huge issue with the women he talks to. The issue will be this:

• The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to attract women who are really, really looking for a guy who’s a bad boy, and the more disappointed women are going to be when they start talking to this really bad boy-looking man only to discover he’s not a bad boy at all. Plus

• The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to repel women who are not looking for bad boys, which (if he’s not actually a bad boy, which he isn’t) is likely going to include the girls he likes best.

This is the trick with how a man dresses himself: he has to dress in a way that attracts the women he wants, and he needs to be able to dress in a way that showcases his most attractive sides – not a way that conflicts with them.

The way you show interest in a girl – and the time you do it at – differs by your approach. Will you go direct on her, or do things in a more indirect way?

Hey guys and welcome back.

I receive many emails and messages on the forums, about indirect game. My students also express concern about this.

Men often read my posts or hear about indirect game through other sources and usually dislike it, as they see it as too passive, slow, and complicated. There’s a misconception that you do not show any interest with indirect game, so you do not get to escalate the vibe nor screen for receptive girls. You waste tons of time with random girls, just chatting.

But this is not true.

You do show interest with indirect game; at least when done correctly. There are some extreme versions of indirect game, where you do not display any interest, hoping she will come running for you as she sees you as the prize. Some women like men who reject them. However, this only works if the girl is really into you and has a codependent personality. If not, the odds of it working are low. So it’s not a good strategy in my book.

In general, I advise that you show interest when using indirect game.

When compared to direct game and especially neo-direct game, it’s true that you will typically show less interest using indirect game. However, many direct gamers show too much interest, and I think they are just being uncalibrated. Uncalibrated pickup is not a style of pickup; it’s simply BAD pickup.

The real difference between indirect and direct game is when and how you show interest.

Before describing the indirect game mindset, I will discuss when and how to show interest and how it conveys you as “the prize.”

Men get into seduction to fix a need. Yet getting past this initial neediness is what’s required to reap the greatest dividends with women.

Getting girls to chase you; that’s the dream.

Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. I was shy, socially anxious, and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life. Truly.

But a lot has changed since then, and now I’m a confident guy who can talk to any girl, anywhere. I have girls chasing me, and I am even married to my beautiful wife who I met on the street. I specialize in helping men make this same transformation—regardless of their current situation.

It’s funny. My coach John Cooper and I recorded REVERSE Pickup! How to Get Girls to Approach You! where we use a simple trick to get girls literally chasing and approaching us on the streets of Barcelona.

This is one way to do it.

But in this post, I will share three sustainable ideas that can help you level up your dating life and become the guy every girl wants to be with, without tricks. You won’t see these ideas often discussed in the dating community, but they took me from being good with women to being amazing with women.

So I hope they help you as much as they did me.

Women will test your dominance and leadership abilities at several key points in a courtship. How you respond determines where things go from there.

Picture yourself on a date with a woman. You met her last week via cold approach. Now the two of you are out walking around outside, deciding where you want to go next. She’s in a breezy summer dress, looking quite nice, but she seems standoffish.

There’s a lake five minutes’ walk from where you are with a nice view. You figure that will be a nice spot to visit. “Let’s swing by the lake,” you say. “The flowers are in-bloom. The view will be gorgeous!”

“I don’t want to go to the lake,” she says, sounding a little snippy. “It just rained yesterday. It’s probably all muddy.”

You didn’t ask her to do it; you made a command. You said “Let’s do this.” Her response was to directly test that, objecting to the plan and saying she wanted to do something else.

How do you respond to resistance like this – to these sorts of direct tests to your dating dominance? That’s the subject of this article.

Women are changeable. They change what they think and feel about you, as well as what they want. As a man, how do you deal with this? Can it even… be GOOD?

Women and their constantly shifting emotions and opinions on men frustrate many a man:

• You meet a girl and she’s friendly, even flirtatious toward you. You start thinking it might go somewhere with this girl. Perhaps she could be your lover or your girlfriend! Then the next time you try to talk to her she’s cold, acting like she doesn’t even know you, and it’s like that earlier interaction never even happened. Sometime later, you run into her again, and again, she is friendly and warm – and now she’s even flirtier than she was before! What the heck?!

• Or you meet a girl who seems very enthusiastic to come out on a date with you. Three days later she flakes over text, telling you she doesn’t feel ready to come out, and then she never responds to your texts again.

• Meanwhile, some girl you know for a fact was spreading nasty rumors about you in your social circle and who clearly considered you some kind of enemy of hers has suddenly begun acting really sweet and girly toward you – and then she approaches you to ask you when the two of you are going to hang out! Huh?

This kind of behavior from women completely discombobulates your average, ordinary guy, and can even flummox some experienced rakes when they encounter it in situations unfamiliar to them. The rule to understand it is that what women think about you ALWAYS changes… it changes within relationships and it changes without them.

It is simply how women operate. It is an OEM part of Woman OS.

Check the room you’re in to look for girls open to an approach – and other chances. The room check (or scan) can be a big help… if you know how to use it.

Here’s a little tactic that can serve as a gamechanger if you aren’t in the habit of using it yet: the room check.

Room checks are simple: you do a complete eyeball scan of a room to see what opportunities you can find. Get good at these, and you can zero in on girls you want to go for in just a few seconds of glancing around.

I should correct myself though – while the tactic is simple, you also have to know what you’re looking for to get much use out of it.

So let’s talk about when to use it, and what you’ll be looking for when you do.