(2) Intermediate | Page 17 | Girls Chase

(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

Advice to Stubborn Guys Who Do Not Get Results with Girls

Chase Amante's picture
stubborn guys who don't get girlsHave you tried all the advice out there, but women stubbornly resist to do anything with you? There’s a reason for it – and it’s not the one you think.

I’ve been involved with seduction for 19 years now. That’s almost half of my life.

I have seen so many guys have such transformative results from this area, and been personally involved in helping so many guys transform their lives, that I consider it one of the most amazing, life-affirming endeavors a man can pursue.

In seeking to better himself with women, a man comes to better himself across the board.

This area of learning attracts a cast of recurring characters. Each guy is different of course, but there are patterns of behavior that you’ll notice tend to come packaged together. When you see one behavior pattern, you typically see the rest.

One of these is the stubborn guy who had been at it for years but just can’t get results.

Often he has tried all sorts of things: he’s read books, watched videos, tried different kinds of approaches, met women through cold approach, social circle, dating apps, gone through phone coaching or even in-field coaching. Yet his results remain stubbornly unimpressive.

He may begin to fault women, the mating market, or the dating advice industry, one at a time or even all at once, for his lack of satisfactory success.

I write this article as an attempt to reach out to such men, to pierce through the normally unbreakable, impenetrable barriers around their minds.

Approaching Girls in a Half-Assed Way

Chase Amante's picture
half-assed approachDo you approach girls, have it go a bit well, then eject without that great a reason? That’s a “half-assed approach” – and it’ll slow your learning curve.

A lot of my early failures as a novice seducer I reflect on now as stemming from a particular problem I had back then, one endemic to most novices but largely devoid from experts. This problem is what I’d define as making half-assed attempts.

A half-assed attempt is one in which you try to do something with a girl, but you don’t REALLY try – you just kind of try. You half-ass it.

  • “I’m going to approach that girl and try to get a conversation going,” you say. So you approach her, kind of talking to her a bit, she isn’t really receptive, so you shrug and tell yourself, “Hmm, well, I tried,” then you bail, never to see her again

  • Perhaps you’ve got a girl in a good conversation, but it’s hard to read how into you she is. “Let me test to see if she likes me,” you think to yourself. You try to escalate touch a little bit, but she just sort of ignores this. “Seems like she isn’t feeling it,” you say, so you back off and start escalating down, until eventually you leave or she does, never to meet again

  • Maybe you’ve even brought her back to your place. “I should try to kiss this girl,” you tell yourself. You try to get closer to her but the way she’s seated doesn’t really permit you to get close enough to kiss. You figure she must just not be comfortable enough for that, so you chat with her a bit until she decides to go home and you never see her again

If you’re honest, you can probably look back through many of the interactions you’ve had with women, especially early on when you were more clueless (or right now if you’ve still got your training wheels on), and catch yourself half-assing it.

You get out of it what you put in, of course, and if you’re putting a bunch of half-assed approaches in, guess what… you’ll get a bunch of half-assed results, too.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Answer "Who Is She?" & Other LTR Tests

Chase Amante's picture
who is she?Every guy gets asked tricky questions by his long-term girlfriends. How do you deal with these in a way that lets you calm the girl without giving up power?

When you have a long-term girlfriend – and even before she’s long-term, sometimes – you are going to run into the occasional (or perhaps not so occasional; depends on the girl) grilling about people and activities in your life.

Some of the standard ones are questions like:

  • “Who is she?” about some girl who obviously knows you in-person or who appears in photos with you or is texting you, who your girlfriend does not know

  • “I don’t like those friends of yours” about buddies you have who are brash, single, and playboy-like

  • “You’re still doing that?” if you are heading out to nightlife or parties with friends but unaccompanied by your girlfriend

  • “I don’t see why you need to do that” if you are signing up for, say, a foreign language class suddenly out of the blue

  • “Oh, so now you care about your look a lot” if suddenly you are fixing up your fashion, getting back into exercise, working to slim down, or trying out new hair/skin/etc. products

You are a lot more likely to run into this with confident girlfriends, and ESPECIALLY if they are looking for something long, long-term with you (i.e., permanent / ever after). Less confident girlfriends will be more circumspect, and may instead only hint at their concerns.

Girls who aren’t thinking super long-term with you, on the other hand, may not ask you these things at all.

When you DO get hit with such LTR tests though, they’re tricky:

Fail to reassure your woman, and she begins to lose confidence in the relationship.

Yet, go too far emasculating yourself in your response (“I’ve never even LOOKED at another woman! I swear!”), and you reduce a lot of her attraction for you, meanwhile handing over stronger relationship control to her.

If you want to survive these types of tests without wrecking your relationship one way or the other, you’ve got to know how to answer them.

When a Girl Acts Disinterested: Just Walk Off… or Explain Yourself?

Alek Rolstad's picture
girl acts disinterestedA girl is acting disinterested. Or she’s behaving badly. You probably ought to leave. But should you just walk off? Or tell her why you’re bailing?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today’s post is a strategy clarification. I was chatting on the SkilledSeducer live chat in our forums. A member, Darkknight, pointed out that whenever I break rapport (contact) with a girl, usually as a response to her negative behavior, I rarely call her out on her behavior, nor do I let her know that I am leaving.

I just walk away without saying a word.

I posted about this subject not long ago: Confrontative Frame Control: When & When Not to Use.

Unlike me, he pointed out that Chase prefers the “eject and explain” strategy. It is similar to mine, by breaking rapport as a response to her bad behavior. However, as you eject and explain, you tell her why you are breaking rapport with her.

This is different from the strategy I advocate, as I say nothing and simply leave. I don’t tell her I am leaving, nor why I am doing it.

So, which strategy is better?

If you are asking yourself this, you are likely asking the wrong question.

Why? Because this question stems from a misconception.

I asked Chase for his take to ensure we were on the same boat, and we agreed. Is the choice between breaking rapport without saying a word and breaking rapport with justification (eject and explain) only a matter of personal style and preference?

Yes, to some extent. Chase and I agree they are two different techniques with different pros and cons and are suited for different settings, depending on the situation.

Which technique you decide on depends on strategic and contextual calibration, as they are different techniques for different settings, and achieve different purposes.

Remember to:

  • Calibrate to the context

  • Use the right technique at the right time

Tactics Tuesdays: Foreplay a Girl… with Your Penis

Chase Amante's picture
foreplay with penisForeplay often involves just the hands or mouth. But that’s no fun, especially with a resistant girl. Use THESE radical tactics to get your penis involved.

When most men think of foreplay, they think of:

  • Using their hands on a woman’s body

  • Using their mouth on a woman’s body

  • Getting a woman to use her hands on them

  • Getting a woman to use her mouth on them

They might be touching her pussy with their mouth or hands. But NOT their penis.

That’s not foreplay. That’s the main event. Right?

SHE might be touching their penis with her mouth or hands. But NOT her pussy.

Again, that’s not foreplay. It’s the main thing. Right?

Yet, in fact, there are numerous ways you can engage in foreplay where you actively use your penis on a woman – not waiting for her to suck you off or stroke you – including on her pussy, without getting to vaginal penetration, before sex starts.

Today I’m going to introduce you to some. If you’ve never done these before, they might just change the sexual escalation game for you.

If You Don't Sleep with a Girl, Someone Else Will

Chase Amante's picture
someone will sleep with herSometimes guys get girls horny… then DON’T sleep with them. When you ditch a girl you’ve aroused though, either she’ll be frustrated – or she’ll get with someone else.

I’ve made this point again and again over the years, but I think it bears repeating as many times as possible.

If you’re going to get a girl all horny then NOT sleep with her, some other guy WILL.

A guy on Reddit posts the following tale:

So I've gotten to know this one girl from my school in the last couple of months. She has always seemed interested in me, but no one had really ever made a big move. Last week we were at a party and things went really well. We ended up dancing and kissing for the better part of the night, and were just about to sleep together but couldn't find an empty room. We ended up talking on a sofa for some time before she went to sleep... or so she told me.

After this event she has been quite cold and distant, not at all showing signs of attraction or interest anymore. A friend of hers also later told me that she had slept with another guy later that night after we couldn't find an empty room.

This hurt quite a bit. By no means do I expect any exclusivity, we have just gotten to know each other, but after complimenting me all night and having so much fun together, to just immediately throw it away and sleep with someone else... I truly felt like she, just as myself, was really enjoying our time together.

What are your thoughts on this? Would you give her a chance, should she show signs of interest later on? Am I overreacting and letting my emotions get the best of me, or would you consider it disrespectful and not deal with that type of behavior?

Cheers!

This kind of thing is actually pretty common: if a girl is horny enough, if one guy spikes her buying temperature enough, but the first guy does not close, another guy with better instincts will step up to be “that guy” and give the girl what she needs.

It’s common enough that in seduction, once you’re relatively decent at picking up girls, you learn to put feelers out toward the end of the night for these poor girls who’ve had their buying temperatures spiked by other men, who were then ditched by the guy.

Usually the guy doesn’t think of it as “ditching.” He may sort of know he’s giving up a lay, but he’s hopeful he can just “come back to it later.” Kind of like saving your save game, right? Just hit “save” on the girl, walk away, then try again later once you’ve had a chance to think about how to beat the final boss.

Girls aren’t computer games, though. They are flesh-and-blood humans with wants and drives all their own. Most of the time they are not going to wait for you to figure out what to do.

If you get a girl all hot and bothered then CAN’T close, you should EXPECT that some other man WILL.

How Do You Deal with Woke Women?

Chase Amante's picture
woke womanWoke women pushing radical political positions are a real boor. How do you sidestep these women’s inane politics without getting caught in their trap?

Commenting on my article about deconstruction in cinema as an anti-masculine phenomenon, reader Bee remarks:

I generally don't have issues finding women and still don't (I actually think this site is far more useful for general psychological frames and motivations in business, etc.) but the mentality from females is so offputting, I actually get up from the table and in your words, the "attraction window" is just gone.

There doesn't seem to be any charming, witty, or logical way to wake these women up to the toxic values and ideas seeping into their heads. Selfishness, entitlement, bigotry, etc.: these are not and have never been virtues.

As anyone here knows, an emasculated man is fun to women for about 5 seconds on their powertrip and then they despise you for being weak. It's a hell of a conundrum these ladies put themselves in (and brought us along for the ride) because woke women are EXTREMELY lonely, generally a good thing for having some fun with them, but not these women and their numbers are increasing.

At this point, my only success in breaking through is to be an ungodly asshole. For example, asking questions to the woke like: if lesbians use phallic sex toys on each other, are they actually lesbians or just bigots? You want to see a pissed off female? And maybe 1 in 10 (on a good day) laugh, but she's the one with a boyfriend and isn't looking (good for her).

I'd really like some discussion on this. These women are miserable, don't know why, and are becoming completely closed off, which is just bad on every level.

And again, I've always done reasonably well with women but this is affecting coworker nonsexual relationships and dealing with businesses in addition to just enjoying women's company.

The answer to “how do you deal with woke women” is actually already in another article I wrote recently, on reacting to female rudeness and faux pas: just be cool.

That’s easier said than done though, especially if she really knows how to aggravate you with inane political positions and self-righteous claptrap she’s absorbed from daft professors and loony online pundits.

So what do you do when some woman – maybe a girl you want to go out with, or maybe just one you’re forced to interact with in a school or work setting – launches into some officious diatribe about her pet political positions?

To Pull Girls You Must Be Better Than the Average Man

Chase Amante's picture
pull girls seduction skillsAchieving consistent one-night stands requires game a cut above the ordinary. What do seduction skills like this look like, exactly?

I spoke with a student living in a tough area with a high male-to-female sex ratio. He has little problem picking up girls for one-night stands when he travels almost anywhere else in the world. However, on his home turf he struggles. He’s gone to bars a lot and manages to get girls attracted, and can get phone numbers, but it never leads to much.

While he takes care of his appearance and apparently has good fundamentals, when I dug into his conversation it was actually fairly basic. He mostly opened girls with a direct approach, then had ordinary, mostly superficial conversation. If he could find commonalities with a girl he’d talk to her about that. Otherwise, it’d mostly be surface level. While he could isolate girls away from their friends in nightlife venues, they’d never agree to go back to his place with him.

The problem he appeared to be running into was that while the girls he approached were attracted to him, they weren’t attracted enough that they’d be willing to go home with him the night they met.

So, what’s the bit that was missing?

As I said to him on the call, if they met a super good-looking, extremely verbally skilled, funny, highly interesting guy who knew how to turn them on, he’d probably be able to pull them, right? So the question is, “What is the difference between where I am and where that guy is, and what do I need to do to get there?”

What we’re really talking about is having better than average attractiveness to women as a one-night stand option – and we’re talking about the full set of things men do that attract women for that, including their game.

Tactics Tuesdays: Bait Then Subvert

Alek Rolstad's picture
bait then subvertWant a simple way to hook women in? Bait them with something that sounds juicy or provocative… then subvert their expectations.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today we will discuss hook techniques that will immerse her deeper into the interaction and serve as a transition into any topic.

Curiosity leads to immersion. When she’s immersed, transitions are easier because she’s hooked in. Immersion generates compliance—she will listen to what you say.

Because of the “hooking” nature of these gambits, they work exceptionally well for early game when you don’t yet have a hook and have time for fancier transitions. In these settings, baits can be a shortcut to deliver a transition quickly.

Also, generating curiosity early solidifies your hook post-opening. You stimulate, intrigue, and immerse her. It helps you proceed smoothly.

Of course, you can use baits anytime during the interaction. It keeps the interaction fun and fresh. However, you get the most bang for your buck by adding them early.

Getting Started Quick with Charisma: Beginner's Guide

Chase Amante's picture
charisma beginnersCAPTION

When you have charisma, everything you do socially gets (a lot) easier.

  • People like you more, respect you, listen to you, defer to you, want to get to know you

  • Girls want to go out with you, want to keep going out with you, and go to bed with you

  • Men want to roll you into their networks and introduce their friends to you

  • Hiring managers want to put you into all kinds of different jobs

It’s like everything you touch starts turning to gold. Everything interpersonal becomes so much more streamlined.

>> Get My End-to-End Charisma Mastery Course Charisma in a Bottle; 27% Off Before Friday

The HARD, however, is taking those first steps toward being charismatic.

When you’re not charismatic yet, it may feel like charismatic individuals exist a world away from you.

So, in this article, we’ll discuss how to start diving in to the world of oozing personal magnetism.