(2) Intermediate

The alpha girl (or alpha female) of a group of girls can help you – or hinder you. You must know who she is & how to approach her to succeed with her group.

Hey guys and welcome back.

Today I want to discuss a subject we haven’t talked about: social dynamics and group theory. This post will be handy for those who meet girls in bars, clubs, and social events, as these places have groups. The day game meta is about going for lone wolves. But day gamers sometimes go for groups, so this post may apply to them.

I will discuss dynamic group theory as it applies to alpha girl theory, specifically who leads the group and who are the followers. As you can imagine, this plays a crucial role in defining how the interaction goes and affects your game plan.

First, I want to credit my friend and wingman (the best wingman) Pablo Garcia, aka Pelusita, for introducing this theory to me. Back in the day, he wanted to write a post like this.

This post is an extension to my past group theory posts: A New Take on Mystery’s Group Theory for Meeting Girls in Groups.

Girls’ll tell you things “don’t work” on them… that actually work all the time! Why though? Because of the clash between their ‘real self’ and ‘ideal self’.

We’re hiring for a female spokeswoman for some online ads we want to run.

Turns out it’s way harder than picking up girls! I’ve talked to probably 100 women off of modeling sites, freelancing sites, and even adult jobs hiring sites. They either aren’t interested at all (including women who claim to be desperate for money in their profiles; even including women who are happy to do hardcore pornography, but don’t want to be in a dating advice commercial!), or they say they are but flake off after a message or two.

It's not like we aren’t offering enough, either; the girls who reply are pretty excited about the pay, and it’s higher than what those who are public about it are getting for the other work they do. I have even told them, “Hey, if it’s not high enough, let me know what would do it for you and I’ll let you know if it’s doable for us.” Still nothing; they still all flake or ghost regardless.

It's so hard it’s to the point now where I’ve decided that rather than treat it like a regular hiring process (and I have personally hired over 250 people, men and women, not to mention interviewed several thousand, over the course of the last 15 years; I’m a pretty seasoned recruiter AND hiring manager at this point!), instead I need to treat it more like a seduction, just to see if by changing tactics we can finally get somewhere with it. I’ve switched to offering to pay for screen tests or conduct video interviews with them now just to get some movement in this, since asking for reels or unpaid screen tests leads to flaking/ghosting/promises to send those shortly then nothing ever comes.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. Plenty of girls have at least started excited. Some have sent enthusiastic replies about how they really support what we’re doing and that men really need this.

However, last week I received a reply to one of my invitations from some chick that was an out-and-out screed. This stern lecture she sent me culminated by declaring the stuff we taught does not work at all on women, and that if I ever wanted to start teaching men to be respectful and considerate toward women, which is the stuff she proclaimed ACTUALLY worked, then I could get in touch with her at that point.

It's been a while since I’ve run into a full-on feminist tirade against us. We used to get a lot in the comments sections (many we moderated; but some we allowed) but it’s died down over the years. I guess we’re just not as controversial as some of the folks out there anymore.

Obviously, any guy who’s been a reader here for a while who tests out the material knows it works. Most women seem to know it works too, even if they’re divided about whether they like that or not (increasingly it actually seems like more and more women support us running a place like this – something I would not have predicted a decade ago. Guess there are too many inelegant men out there these days).

But it brought me back to a topic I added to the Girls Chase topics queue a few weeks back (I think inspired by a question a guy or two had asked me):

Why do things work with girls that girls will swear does not?

A statement of interest (SOI) lets you directly state interest in a girl you like. There are pros and cons to this – yet if short on time it can be ideal.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have shared a few posts on qualification recently. Today, I’ll discuss another way of qualifying girls that is more direct, depending on the context. Qualifying a girl creates that dynamic so she matches your standards and you match hers, usually due to her qualifying to you first. You want to do this to develop the mutual attraction between you two and create an “it’s on” (or a “click” ) moment.

One usually starts the qualification process after a girl shows significant interest to solidify the bond and reinforce the vibe between you two. After all, you want to generate compliance (attraction) AND get something out of the interaction. Your goal is to escalate the vibe and create that bond— a “you two are meant to be” type of vibe. The latter will facilitate the escalation process.

Sometimes, generating compliance may be enough; however, the process is easier when you qualify the girl. It reduces resistance; she feels more comfortable and allowed—“he and I are meant to be.” As she thinks that, she will backward-rationalize that escalating the vibe with you is positive and natural. It is okay and normal to escalate the vibe with men she feels that connection with, right?

What does qualification look like? Here is a template:

1. Use a qualifier. You want to trigger a qualification by using a qualifier: challenge her on something, ask if she is X (that you find attractive), or ask for an opinion.

2. If she qualifies and meets your expectations and standards, she is qualifying to you.

3. Qualify to her. As she qualifies to you, consider it good behavior on her end. Now reward her by qualifying back. This is the moment you show interest back.

The idea is to show interest without appearing needy while reconciling her attraction with yours. I have discussed the ins and outs of this in my previous post.

Here is an example:

Me: [talking about a subject that involves adventure]…and by the way, are you adventurous? (Qualifying her)

Her: Yes! I am! Blahblahblah (her qualifying to you)

Me: Oh! I love adventurous people! (Qualifying to her)

You’ll find plenty of examples in my previous articles.

The way a man dresses is like a megaphone to the world: it says much about him. It’s key the message a man’s clothes convey is both attractive – & accurate.

On the forum, we have a member who’s become fascinated with the idea of dressing like a bad boy. He got the idea from a few of us guys talking about dramatic results we’ve seen with attraction from women simply from upgrading our wardrobes.

There’s just one problem: the forum member in question is very clearly not a bad boy… in fact, he doesn’t even seem to grasp what “being a bad boy” is, or how to act like one.

Even if he succeeds in dressing like a super sexy modern day bad boy, he’s going to run into a huge issue with the women he talks to. The issue will be this:

• The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to attract women who are really, really looking for a guy who’s a bad boy, and the more disappointed women are going to be when they start talking to this really bad boy-looking man only to discover he’s not a bad boy at all. Plus

• The better a job he does exemplifying a bad boy aesthetic, the more he is going to repel women who are not looking for bad boys, which (if he’s not actually a bad boy, which he isn’t) is likely going to include the girls he likes best.

This is the trick with how a man dresses himself: he has to dress in a way that attracts the women he wants, and he needs to be able to dress in a way that showcases his most attractive sides – not a way that conflicts with them.

The way you show interest in a girl – and the time you do it at – differs by your approach. Will you go direct on her, or do things in a more indirect way?

Hey guys and welcome back.

I receive many emails and messages on the forums, about indirect game. My students also express concern about this.

Men often read my posts or hear about indirect game through other sources and usually dislike it, as they see it as too passive, slow, and complicated. There’s a misconception that you do not show any interest with indirect game, so you do not get to escalate the vibe nor screen for receptive girls. You waste tons of time with random girls, just chatting.

But this is not true.

You do show interest with indirect game; at least when done correctly. There are some extreme versions of indirect game, where you do not display any interest, hoping she will come running for you as she sees you as the prize. Some women like men who reject them. However, this only works if the girl is really into you and has a codependent personality. If not, the odds of it working are low. So it’s not a good strategy in my book.

In general, I advise that you show interest when using indirect game.

When compared to direct game and especially neo-direct game, it’s true that you will typically show less interest using indirect game. However, many direct gamers show too much interest, and I think they are just being uncalibrated. Uncalibrated pickup is not a style of pickup; it’s simply BAD pickup.

The real difference between indirect and direct game is when and how you show interest.

Before describing the indirect game mindset, I will discuss when and how to show interest and how it conveys you as “the prize.”

Men get into seduction to fix a need. Yet getting past this initial neediness is what’s required to reap the greatest dividends with women.

Getting girls to chase you; that’s the dream.

Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible. I was shy, socially anxious, and couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life. Truly.

But a lot has changed since then, and now I’m a confident guy who can talk to any girl, anywhere. I have girls chasing me, and I am even married to my beautiful wife who I met on the street. I specialize in helping men make this same transformation—regardless of their current situation.

It’s funny. My coach John Cooper and I recorded REVERSE Pickup! How to Get Girls to Approach You! where we use a simple trick to get girls literally chasing and approaching us on the streets of Barcelona.

This is one way to do it.

But in this post, I will share three sustainable ideas that can help you level up your dating life and become the guy every girl wants to be with, without tricks. You won’t see these ideas often discussed in the dating community, but they took me from being good with women to being amazing with women.

So I hope they help you as much as they did me.

Women will test your dominance and leadership abilities at several key points in a courtship. How you respond determines where things go from there.

Picture yourself on a date with a woman. You met her last week via cold approach. Now the two of you are out walking around outside, deciding where you want to go next. She’s in a breezy summer dress, looking quite nice, but she seems standoffish.

There’s a lake five minutes’ walk from where you are with a nice view. You figure that will be a nice spot to visit. “Let’s swing by the lake,” you say. “The flowers are in-bloom. The view will be gorgeous!”

“I don’t want to go to the lake,” she says, sounding a little snippy. “It just rained yesterday. It’s probably all muddy.”

You didn’t ask her to do it; you made a command. You said “Let’s do this.” Her response was to directly test that, objecting to the plan and saying she wanted to do something else.

How do you respond to resistance like this – to these sorts of direct tests to your dating dominance? That’s the subject of this article.