(2) Intermediate | Page 117 | Girls Chase

(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

How to Talk About Yourself on Dates

Chase Amante's picture

In the comments section of "Are You Smart? It Doesn't Much Matter Either Way," on how viewing and talking about yourself as smart actually impedes progress in your endeavors, a reader named Al made the following request:

Great Article, Chase this is an invaluable mindset for so many areas of life. I want to see an article on how to tell good anecdotes and speak about yourself. I know this goes against deep diving and LOLE but when conversations do start to become a question and answer session i often struggle to make an insightful or interesting comment.

Al's right - while there's a great deal on this site about how to get other people talking to you, there really isn't a whole heck of a lot about how to talk about yourself.

how to talk about yourself

So, in order to change that, I've put together a two-part article series on the subject: the first on talking about yourself, and the second on telling great stories.

Let's kick this two-parter off then, and have a look at how you ought to go about talking about yourself with women to achieve maximal results.

Having a Male Scent That Fills Women with Lust

Chase Amante's picture

male scentIn the comments on "Your Mental Model is Flawed," M asked the following question about cologne:

Speaking of expensive cologne...is it worth the investment? Right now my only scent is my deodorant, lol.

I gave a quick response, but I've been wanting to do a piece on male scent for a while now. I spent a great deal of time diving into this to figure out what the "ideal" scent for men was... was it a cologne? A body spray? An aftershave? Was it pheromones? Something else? What scent gets you the best results with women?

They all propose to turn you into a man irresistible to women, of course... but most of it's just noise to be tuned out. There had to be, I felt certain, a specific solution out there somewhere to the question of what scent women like best.

Today's article chronicles my own intermittent investigation - spanning perhaps 15 years - into the phenomenon of male scent, and takes a look at what the research on scent has to say.

And my guess is, if you're accustomed to the standard advice thrown liberally about in Western society, you'll be in for a bit of a surprise.

When to Course Correct Socially... and When Not To

Chase Amante's picture

course correctIn the article on operant conditioning the other day, I'd made some terminology mix-ups that a commenter with the handle Slightly Confused noticed and pointed out to me in a very polite and socially gracious way, and I checked on the errors he pointed out, realized he was right, owned the mistake, and corrected it. I commented back letting him know of the correction, and he had this to say after:

Thanks for handling my earlier comment so well. I'll have to remember how you responded for when I run into that situation in the future. If you want another article idea, you could write one on corrections. It could talk about how to handling being corrected in different situations as well as when and how to correct others. The article could differentiate between corrections based on opinions and based on facts and could talk different situations such as pickup, a long term relationship, being out with friends, meeting someone new, and in a business situation, like one were a boss says something incorrect (or the boss corrects you), when you are with peers, or when you are talking to a customer. It also could cover the situations when you should and should not correct yourself when you realize you are wrong and the long term effects handling the situation a certain way may have. I realize that may be too big of a topic to cover but hopefully it gives you some ideas or something you can use.

Some interesting ideas for a post there from SC - when and how to correct yourself, and when to perform a course correct, effectively.

And this is more nuanced than you might at first think.

There's a surprisingly great deal at risk in correcting oneself - you chance losing the confidence of those who were depending on you to know your stuff, you chance undermining and reversing whatever momentum you had, and you even chance transferring momentum over to an opponent who's hard at work endeavoring to snatch at the moral high ground away from you.

So should you ever do a course correct? With so much to lose, does it make sense to ever correct yourself... or might it be better just to soldier on, never admit mistakes, and keep your own personal reality distortion field tuned to maximum at all times to take others' eyes away from the inconsistencies?

Why It's Good to Be Hard to Please

Chase Amante's picture

hard to pleaseIn The Law of Success, a very, very good book by Napoleon Hill - perhaps one of my favorites all time, in fact - Hill discusses, as one of the 16 tenets of success, the necessity of having a pleasing personality. Part of his recommendation is for listeners to be agreeable.

If you look at most people in Western society, I don't think this aspect of a pleasing personality - being agreeable - is much of a problem for them. In fact, I think one of the overriding problems for Westerners is in being too agreeable - so much so that anyone willing to be a bit less agreeable is able to easily steamroll them into uncomfortable submission.

But, that's a topic for another time. What I want to discuss in this article is why it's a good thing to be a little hard to please... at least some of the time.

Because if you've long made a habit of being overly agreeable - and there really can be too much of a good thing - a little dose of pickiness may just be in order.

Make Judgmental People Stop Judging You Right Now

Ross Leon's picture

judgmental peopleWe’ve all faced judgments and judgmental people in the world, and it is something that people very rarely have a complete grasp of. When a man truly holds no prejudice, women will open up to him in a way that they could not imagine themselves opening up to any other guy. All of the sudden, women feel comfortable with you and communicate with you in a very warm and friendly way.

When you want to start a relationship right, you cannot judge women, of course; but, what happens when you are consciously aware of this, and despite that, the women are judging YOU?

Most people have judgments without even knowing it. Ask someone if they are judgmental, and you’ll get a “No, of course not!” Judgmental people are seen as bad, horrible humans who don’t have a soul and don’t deserve our time.

If a woman acts judgmental, you should righteously stop the seduction on the spot; or so you would think.

We all remember a time when we were judgmental of others, but would we say we were morally unjust humans because of it? No. Just because a woman is judgmental does not mean she isn’t worth your time.

Most people aren’t aware that they are doing it, and it is very simple to cut out of conversation. It’s just another barrier we need to overcome.

I Don’t Chase 'Em, I Replace 'Em

Chase Amante's picture

cut contactA couple of fellas have asked on here about cutting contact recently. Here's Matt's comment from the article entitled "Your Mental Model is Flawed":

Can you explain cut off marks (ie, cutting off contact with a girl... say if she doesn't sleep with you or is not responding well) in more detail? You've talked about that before in several posts, how now if a girl does not sleep with you on the first date, you usually end things with her and are not going to up forth the effort because you have many other options. Do you just delete her number? Richardus talks about keeping "bad" numbers and then firing off texts to all of them in the future and see who bites. What's your opinion?

Maybe a more nuanced guide of cut off marks for every level (beginner, intermediate, advanced) would be helpful. Also I'm a little confused about how persistance seems to contradict this. Hopefully I've made some sense!

Matt

Sure thing, Matt.

This is kind of a delicate issue. It's an issue that normally, you want to treat with tenderness, care, and kid gloves.

You kind of want to walk people through it... guide them, kindly and gradually, you might say... help them understand things without being too harsh, or abrasive.

You know... easy on the offensiveness.

Unfortunately, we're going to tackle this one how I want to tackle it: like gangbusters, with a sledgehammer and steel-tipped shoes.

So here we go.

Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It)

Chase Amante's picture

girlfriend moodyOn the new forum join bonus post where I asked for suggestions for the limited-time ebook offered to the first group of forum members, a reader weighed in with his preference:

I'd like some tips and tricks, and knowledge about longer term relationships - for example, how to bring a girl out of that 'brick wall' sulk! I seem to attract fiery and moody, and I would like to know how other people deal with this. Never too old to learn?

While this didn't make it into the ebook in question, I've been trying to get through each of these and tackle the ones that weren't addressed there on the website here.

If you've been in a relationship that lasted any substantial length of time, you've no doubt encountered what our commenter here is talking about - that sulky, pouting, dreary moody girlfriend situation.

For men in relationships, there are few things more dispiriting than a girlfriend, moody and sulky, skulking around the apartment, acting like somebody stole her bag of cookies, and you have absolutely no idea why. It can make you want to pull your hair out and exclaim, "Out with it already, woman!"

If she'd just TELL YOU what the problem was, by George, then you could address it at least!

Well, if it's any consolation, science is here to tell us we're not crazy, and women really DO do this and feel this a lot more than men.

And I'm here to tell you what to do about it so she knocks this off and starts acting a little more chipper again.

Being a Challenge to Women (& REALLY Turning Them On)

Chase Amante's picture

Back on the article about gym pickup, The Tool (one of our forum members as well) commented in asking about ways he could meet girls in the gym as a member of the staff, without overstepping professional boundaries:

It was 8 am and this girl wanted to Tan and she had another hour before she could tan (24 hour law) so she begged and i told her to wait another hour, she stayed in the locker room and came out an hour later, she asked If she could tan yet, I told her 5 more minutes and asked her "so what brings you to the gym this early on a saturday? working out before work or to flirt with the guy at the front desk? She said Haha I am not. I said "you totally are and now your lieing about it...jeeze." she said haha I guess I am. anyway jist of it I deepdived a bit and got her digits saying your a cool girl we should get some coffee sometime. she said sure and baddabing.

Anyway as a staff member things like this are risky for I can lose my job if it was ever found out or I made it awkward for a girl. So would you advise that those guys who are in fact the staff not try to pick up girls at their own gym?

My advice to The Tool was to use barriers to get these girls chasing him; it was, in effect, this: be a challenge to women.

being a challenge to women

In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women," I discussed why you want to be challenging women, how it helps you, and what the potential risks are if you take it too far. And I offered a few strategies from the book on not being too little of a challenge.

But what about really being a challenge to women? Is it possible to use conversation and communication to set things up so that women are pursuing you, regardless of whether they were or weren't at first?

Sure, it's absolutely possible.

And, it's a heck of a lot easier than you might think.

How to Build a Male Body That Drives Women Crazy

Ross Leon's picture

Note from Chase: Ross is one of the members of the new Girls Chase forums. He's one of the posters who emerged early on as a guy with clearly a good handle on dating and seduction, meting out solid advice to posters in need. He expressed interest in writing a piece for the site on weight-lifting and building a better body, and since this is something guys have been asking about on here for some time, I told him I'd be thrilled to have him write something up. So here it is, Ross's first article on Girls Chase, on building a sexy male body that'll drive girls up the wall.


We’ve all seen those guys that are huge, muscular, and sexy. Women comment on their bodies and appear to be turned on from the get-go. Wouldn’t it be nice to have those same exact women looking at your body and being primed for sex from the beginning of your interactions with them?

male body

Luckily enough, getting muscle isn’t as hard as you think it is. Even for guys like Wes, who commented a few weeks ago:

I've been a skinny guy all my life because I have a fast metabolism...gaining weight and muscle is difficult for me.

I too was in this mindset some time back. I blamed genetics, my life, everything, just about, on me being thin. People would jokingly ask me if I ever ate, and would tell me that I needed to eat a jar of lard to finally put some weight on my frame. I was 6’3” and 147 pounds for two years after my final growth spurt in high school, and no, that wasn’t due to an eating disorder. I would lift weights, chug down protein shakes, and gorge myself with food and water whenever I stepped on the scale and didn’t gain weight.

However, no matter how strong my will was, I just wasn’t being smart about it, and eventually went on to pursue other goals, as this one obviously wasn’t panning out.

It wasn’t until a change in lifestyle, that, to my amazement, I started to actually gain weight. I thought it was crazy, but all I really needed was being able to eat as much food as I wanted at a buffet.

There are two problems that people run into when they are trying to build muscle. Either they aren’t working out their muscles hard enough, or they aren’t getting the proper nutrition that will allow for muscle growth. I’m going to teach you guys how to overcome both of these problems, and it is my hope and aim that you won’t have to go through what I had to endure before achieving the kinds of results and the kind of male body you’ve always wanted.

“Do You Have a Girlfriend?” Here’s How to Answer This

Chase Amante's picture

In "Girl Changes Her Mind Too Much? Try This," Maxz asks this:

Speaking of indecision, I had a question for you. I recently had two girls who I was trying to bed ask me if I had a Girlfriend? I told each girl "I was not exclusive to any one woman".

One of the Girls who had agreed to come over to my place flaked the next day saying she could not make it because she had suddenly got sick though I am certain she was not. Do you think her flaking was a response to my answer? As I think this girl was trying to put me in the BF category and my answer I thought put me out of that label.

He's right here that you don't want to simply up and answer "Do you have a girlfriend?" in the normal yes/no way that most men do. A straight "yes" or "no" robs you of any intrigue, puts the control of the interaction clearly into the asker's hands, and just generally makes things a lot less interesting.

do you have a girlfriend

Plus, whether you say "yes" or "no," it's easy for either one to say something bad about you:

  • If "yes," that you're 'off the market' and not available (or some sleazy guy who sneaks around behind his girlfriend's back if you try anything)

  • If "no," that you're not preselected by other women and there must be something wrong with you (why don't other women want you?)

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. But if you tell her "I'm not exclusive," well, that has problems too - now you're seen as some freewheeling wild man who's either immature or "not what she's looking for" much of the time.

How on Earth do you answer this?