What Regular Guys Don't Understand | Girls Chase

What Regular Guys Don't Understand

Today I found myself reading an article on the Washington Post’s website titled “Date Lab: A Matchmaking Year in Review”. It was all about these blind dates that the newspaper had sent people on throughout the year. I clicked through and read about each of the dates discussed, and paid attention to why the dates that didn’t pan out didn’t.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Seto's picture

What i , a regular guy, don't understand is why .

I understand that all these things turn a girl on - however, We as guys can't be sexy forever. Unless you have the looks, you can only act a certain way before you go back to normal.

If i'm perceived as a " different sexy guy " by using these techniques, When we're in a relationship - wouldn't she just find out that i'm not the type that she perceived ?

Yes, people do tell you to " be yourself" - But there's a reason behind it - and that's because Being yourself lets the girl know who you REALLY are. And if she is looking for you, Then You'll have a successful marriage .
But why act all sexy and misleading when you're not - Hell, Why even Dwell in to sex so early as to the first date ?

I always pictured Life to be like the movies- Where the guy just does lots romantic things, and Goes on adventures with a girl, and then After they marry , Sex is holy , and marriages last .
I'm not saying that your article is wrong, since it does make sense , and it DOES attract women , But if you're going to falsely lead her into thinking that you're a " Chase Amante " , when you're really someone else, then what givess? The moment i stop becomming sexy, is when the relation ends then.. right ?
I duno.

break_bread's picture

What you just said makes a lot of sense. Here how you can benefit from being sexy and still not change who you are.

1) choose the accessories, tattoos, and piercings that you actually like..and not just cuz you want to get women in bed. If you actually like a particular accessory, it's your personality represented there so you didn't change.
2) understand that if you've decided to improve your appearance, since you're doing it because you like to look good..you should seek to build on that because if you stop you'd return to square one and whether you're in a relationship or not, it's always best to improve yourself.
3) if your girl didn't take any effort to look good after you get her, even if she was genuine, you'd not like it so best to remain sexy as a guy and look at ways of evolving with the relationship.
Hope this helps. I know it's a bit long.

Zimmer R's picture

I think that you have missed the entire point of this website. It's not about acting sexy, it's about becoming sexy, improving yourself on a base level, adopting these mindsets. Strictly speaking you still should be yourself, you just need to be a significantly better version of yourself...

Walls's picture

Hi Chase,
What exactly do you define as edgy? What would you, in your expert opinion, see as a edgy guy wardrobe? Bad ass facial hair... how's a stubble? Yeah, I see a lot of stuff in magazines... (There's so many looks... hipster, surfer, college frat boy, etc) But what in your experience has worked for you/others?

Last time I posted, I asked about warmth and you were good enough to post it as a topic in thorough detail.. it was very helpful. One on edge would be a home run.


Knight's picture

Good question, Walls.

As Chase is a busy man, like many of us ill take it to liberty to forward you in the right direction. Here is a post from a while ago that Chase wrote exactly on what you wanted. http://www.girlschase.com/content/how-be-edgy-and-turn-women

Anonymous's picture

Tats... the permanent mullet. Back in 1985, nothing was cooler than the mullet. Hell, even Michael Bolton had one. Add a pair of parachute pants, and you were a man about town.

FF to the new century. Tweetie Birds permanently inked onto people's skin - Jennifer, Jessica, Ashley, Britney, Morgan wondering which design will make them "unique" (just like everybody else) and liked by their peers and boyfriends.

Time marches on. What was once "the shit" becomes embarrassing and old. Every generation despises the cultural markers of the last one.

Invest in tat removal companies. I'm serious. They will be in great demand.

Don't get a tat. You're not unique when everyone else has one.

On the other hand, DO wear clothes that fit and avoid anything in neon colors.

Chris T's picture

You couldn't be more wrong. Comparing mullets to tats is like comparing apples to oranges. You clearly have a very conservative mindset and are, yup, just like every other guy like this article points out.

Times are a'changin, buddy. You may want to shed the 1950s attitude and look around. Tats are mainstream and shunning them is probably as unsexy as you can get in a woman's eyes.

JLAM's picture

Hey Chase. I'm in the US Air Force, and I recently met this girl at work I really like. We've talked only a bit, given each other signals, and I'm pretty confident about it all.

Anyway, by law I'm not allowed facial hair. My hair also has to be kept short, though I do have a hairstyle that gets me compliments (it's parted on the right, and combed with pomade; think George Clooney's hair, except a lot less suave because I'm not him).

My concern is my clothes. I have virtually no wardrobe, as some of my clothes is too big or boring. What kind of clothes should a man of confidence wear? I like button down shirts, and I don't like shirts with designs or logos on them. But if this is what Regular Guy wears, what do I wear?

Jamesypie's picture

Try fitted / slim / athletic button downs. Well-fitted, long-sleeve button downs look *good* on an athletic guy. Something that clings to / accents your pecs...ever so slightly. You will look athletic and professional. Wear it with your sleeves rolled up and you'll look like someone with a blue collar body in a white collar position -- more or less the best of both worlds on that front. I do this with a leather jacket -- I can transition from 'well to do professional' to 'badboy' in about 5 seconds. I'm sure eventually suits will enter my wardrobe, but I'm not that interested in them for the time-being. This works for me.

Anonymous's picture

Chase, I think it's a good idea for guys to read women advice on getting men. I've started reading some to see some of the ways attract men. I think it's been really helpful to me because now I'm starting to understand how women think. Do you agree or disagree?

Patrick33's picture

A lot of your points in home with me. I have been reading Pua books and practicing game on and off since about 2007 but haven't had a lot of results to show for it because until the past year I've been doing those average guy things you talked about - wearing baggy clothes, having no edge, no facial hair, cheap hair cut. I have started working on these ever since I got the advice of a dating coach who basically said the same things to me, which was just about 4 months ago. Alot of these things can drastically improve your game but take some time and effort to implement, like upgrading your entire wardrobe. I am recently realizing my entire wardrobe is basically unwearable for going out and meeting women.

jake93's picture

Every. Single. Post. I've read is like a slap on my forehead, every single topic gives me a moment of "Ah-ha"!

The collection of materials on dating around the internet is getting larger and larger, and while having its benefits no doubt, it's also getting quite difficult to sift through the bullshit to get to the real gold. But you, my man, you nail it every single fucking time. And I'm so excited to read all these posts because not only do they apply to girls and relationships, they also apply to pretty much every other aspect of life. Like a razor-sharp knife of insight that cuts straight to the fucking point.

I've gotten into a rut since I had a messy breakup with the last girlfriend 3 years ago. All this time I've been really confused, not getting laid, and just feeling quite literally like "half the man", and searching for answers to what's wrong with what I'm doing. Now I think I've finally found a way out! Now I can't wait to go brave the real world armed with the knowledge that you have provided us. Good job man. I wish I could meet you some time.

Eddie's picture

This article is way off. It's no wonder more than half of all marriages end in divorce. Women have forgotten their roles and are now in a constant state of confusion. What women fail to understand is that men who live their lives trying to impress women are the biggest cheaters out there.

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