(2) Intermediate

We don't talk much on here about how to kiss a girl, typically because we're more focused on helping you to get girls in bed - why spend much time on the appetizer when you can skip right to the main event?

But even if you're working to turn yourself into the kind of irresistible man a woman simply can't say "no" too, it's still worth putting some time into bringing up your kissing technique. Why? Because it's one of those small edges that fold into the big picture that is you, and the impression you make on girls.

In other words, being a talented kisser makes you better able to achieve the kind of results you really want with women: namely, hot, steamy liaisons with beautiful girls you really dig.

Even if you simply run through a seduction quickly with a woman, and then plant a mind-blowing kiss on her, it still helps:

• It helps remove any last minute resistance you might run into prior to intimacy,

• It helps her switch off her logical mind and be there in the moment,

• And it helps her realize that yes, you are exactly the kind of charming, seductive, sexy man she's always dreamed of meeting.

So on those notes, I want to address the reader from Slovenia who commented the following over on the article on how to get a phone number:

“I've read around 95% of your articles and let's say trained myself to an intermediate level... or something more than a pure begginer lets say.
Tnx to you again ;)

Still I have problems when it comes to Physical Escalation... but not problems with getting laid. I have serious problems with the transition from conversation to kissing. Once the kissing is on I have very few problems with bed magic.

I have actually never read any insight that would break down how to get closer and closer, when/how to start putting my arm around or something, hug her, kiss her on her cheeks or I don't fkin know... My question would sound like this:

HOW to get to kissing part if you do everything wright?

I have serious problems with this transition. And I angry even more because I know I would have gotten laid so many times If I had only mastered this part... And I will sooner or latter.”

And he's right. That's a tough transition, from conversation to kissing and being physical together, and for a lot of guys it can be one of the most challenging things to learn. Transitions in general are pretty tough stuff, and you'll find that most of your obstacles as you improve with women and dating come when you find yourself struggling to transition from one phase of an interaction to the next.

So let me give you an article on how to kiss a girl that'll help you navigate this transition a lot more smoothly... a lot more naturally... and as a bonus, teach you exactly how to lay one on her that she'll remember for a long, long time.

Tell me if you've ever been here:

You've met a girl, and you really like her, and you can tell she really likes you, and maybe you even keep running into each other, and you really like each other every time you do and it never fades away... but for the life of you, you just can't ever get her alone with you!

I know I ran into this plenty when I was cutting my teeth with women and dating - this maddening inability to get a girl alone. You end up feeling like the unluckiest man alive... so many women who like me! you think. But so impossible to ever get together with any of because I can't ever get them alone!

Today I'm going to give you 7 easy-to-use tips that are going to help you start getting girls alone with you right away. These are strategies you can use wherever you meet women - be that at bars, parties, shopping malls, the street, classrooms, or even at work.

You'll have to vary them up a bit depending on the environment you're in and where you know a girl from - but the point is, now you can do it.

And you won't have to spend another moment going crazy inside because you can't get a girl alone.

Step inside my tent and allow me to reveal these mysteries to you...

There's a question that I think not enough men ask themselves, and they end up being the worse for it: that is, what to look for in a girlfriend.

I have a habit of being very selective about the people I have around me. The old adage that "you are the average of your five closest friends" is one I put a lot of salt in. Where does this "averaging effect" come from, and how does it play out in real life?

The simplest way of putting it is that successful people believe successful things, and unsuccessful people believe unsuccessful things. Now, that's a very boiled down way of putting it, for you could have a guy who owns a large stake in a Fortune 500 company that's worth billions and think of him as successful, but a guy who owns six gas stations that bring him in $20,000 a month you might also think of as successful, to a different degree.

On a more personal level, you may have a friend who's dead broke, but strongly believes that buying condominiums is the road to riches. No matter how much you point out to that friend that so far his proclamations and prognostications have failed to work out for him, he'll keep harping on it again and again, and pushing you to put all your savings into buying a condo, and you'll either eventually come around to his way of seeing things (whether he's "right" or not), or get so annoyed by it that you exit the friendship.

The people around you influence you strongly for better or for worse. To become exceptional, or to remain the way you are, or to backslide.

And the person with the greatest measure of influence on you of all, with the greatest ability to steer and direct your thoughts and ideas and emotions, is, of course, the one you spend the most time with: your girlfriend.

And if you aren't being selective when selecting the most important, influential person around you, you're doing yourself a major disservice.

Note from Chase: This is a guest post by my friend Mark Manson over at Postmasculine. Mark's just released an inventive new book titled Escape Plan: Ditch the Rat Race and Discover the World, and to mark the occasion he's put together a "dream trip contest" the likes of which you usually only see on well-funded TV gameshows, with him flying the winner out to a chosen dream destination and Mark footing the bill for flights and lodging. Details if you're interested on the Escape Plan page.

To promote his new book and the idea of ditching the rat race and escaping wherever you want in the world, Mark's assembled this post on his travels picking up women in foreign countries just for us here at Girls Chase. Onward.

I have been fortunate enough the past few years to not only travel all over the world, but to do it as a young, single man. I’ve spent more than my fair share of time pursuing the women of foreign countries. In fact, I can say that it’s become one of the most interesting and exciting ways to acquaint myself with a new culture.

When men back home hear my stories, a lot of them make the assumption that meeting and dating women in these cultures is easy. They figure I’m a young American and so women must throw themselves at me wherever I go. They think that just because I’m from a rich country and I’m white, that women throw themselves at me wherever I go.

Not the case.

The truth is that meeting women while traveling gets a bit complicated. It presents a set of extreme circumstances and there are a lot more variables to deal with.

There are language barriers, cultural barriers, racial stereotypes, logistical conundrums, and not to mention you’re in a totally unfamiliar place and don’t know a single person.

It’s not always easy. But it can be exciting as hell.

Here’s a brief breakdown of the major factors one needs to be aware of when traveling to a new country as a single man. It IS possible to have some amazing sexual experiences with foreign women, and in many cases, these experiences can be far more exciting or enjoyable than the ones you have with women back home.

But you have to know what you’re doing.

A reader writes in to ask about trying too hard:

“I haven't seen any posts yet by you about a particular subject--neediness and trying too hard.

In fact, I just read one of your posts "What regular men don't know" where you are a proponent of making yourself into an attractive man and getting better with women an obsession.

Personally I have had a few different people tell me lately that I'm "trying too hard." I don't know what this means. Without trying, I will get nowhere. At first I thought they were right, but now I'm thinking they were just jealous I was trying to change when they weren't.

Could you write a post on this inner game issue? What does it mean to "try too hard" and when does getting better with women become a bad thing? How do you make sure to keep consistently trying to get better without having people tell you you're trying too hard?

Or should I say screw 'em and keep on doin my own thing?”

I was speaking with a former student of mine about this a few weeks back. We'd talked about him tweaking a vibe he gives off, where it feels as though he's trying a bit too hard. He wasn't totally aware of it, but he'd heard it from multiple people and he asked me if I could put my finger on it and help him figure out why he was getting that kind of reaction from people and how to get around it.

Honestly, trying too hard is one of the most difficult things to explain to someone, and one of the most difficult things to stop.

But I myself was guilty of it for a long time once, and since there's some interest in the topic, let me take a crack at explaining what this is, and what you can do about it.

I’ve had a few guys ask me recently about the instant date, one of which is a comment I address further on down in this post.

And the point I’ve been making here repeatedly is… instant dates are good where applicable.

But you don’t need them to pick up girls.

Let me start at the beginning though.

Remember the post on getting your sexy vibe, where on the day I had a date with the virgin, but she had to leave early because her brother needed a ride?

Well, the good thing about dating multiple women is that you’re never empty-handed… no matter what happens.

And after the first girl had left, I found myself alone in my apartment, and not yet ready for my evening to be over… chatting to some of my girls on Facebook, to see who would be up for some spontaneous naughtiness.

A reader writes in:

“Hey man been a LONG time since I've emailed you! But I've been keeping up with the site and I love both you and Ricardus advice just awesome all around. The one thing that has INFINITELY thrown me off about the site is the sort of serious tone.

You guys understand pickup so well its scary sometimes lol! But one thing I realized yesterday was how important a bit of playfulness and humor is in pickup.

...

Maybe a post on how to inject playfulness into an interaction, because that is one thing I think that has really helped supercharge my interactions in the past. The ones that I had a playful attitude about were the ones where my success was higher. Whereas when I had this "I'm coming to pick you up" vibe it kind of scared some girls off because they weren't used to that level of directness but I believe if I had that playful side I could have saved the interaction.”

He raises a good point.

I've actually stayed away from talking about how to be playful on here for a long time because being playful is one of those things most guys who are new to learning about getting girls place way too much focus on and overdo.

If you've been through this site, you know there's a strong emphasis here on actively avoiding trying to get yourself making girls laugh all the time and on showing why fun is overrated for making headway with the women you like.

And all this might lead you to believe you ought to be Mister Serious in all of your interactions with women.

But if THAT's the impression you've got, then we've got a little reconditioning to do.