Carnival of Dating Advice, 23rd Edition | Girls Chase

Carnival of Dating Advice, 23rd Edition

carnival of dating advice

Welcome, friends, to the 23rd Edition of the Carnival of Dating Advice, bringing you some of the best latest articles in dating, relationships, psychology, and more from around the web.

Today you'll find articles served up on topics as varied as dealing with your own emotions - whether about success or a cheating partner; on figuring out how to get more results when it feels like you're doing everything you possibly can (and still not seeing any); and articles on busyness, uninhibited sex, and being a gentleman.

Without further ado...

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Ben 's picture

Hey, Chase theres this girl who likes me at school, but she never talks to me but she always stares at me. Whenever we do talk at first she seemed kinda nervous and aloof. Then after that after ive shown strong non verbal signals and she now she knows that im intrested in her when we talked again she seemed very intrested and laughed at alot of the things ive said and we had a great conversation. But then she avoids me and i dont understand why... and its obvious the she wants to avoid me but.. ive seen her secretly look at me and follow me sometimes.. but she doesn't want me to see her. Chase what the hell is she trying to do? We both like each other but shes not cooperating.

Chase Amante's picture


Sounds like she's quite shy.

I'd suggest asking her out, and expect her to say "no." Shrug it off, be cool, and keep talking to her and flirting with her. Then, a little bit later (no more than a month or two), ask her out again. Just keep talking to her and flirting with her and building up rapport and asking her out every so often until she says "yes." If she's legitimately shy and it isn't just an act, she probably needs a little time to warm up to the idea of going out with someone.


Saitam's picture

Hey Chase, Im in college and I met a great girl last fall. This was before I had any real game going on. We had a genuine romantic connection going on for two weeks before winter break came by and she had to leave for a semester abroad. She'll be back this fall.

I took the opportunity during the spring to step up my game: lost my virginity and slept with seven different girls (freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors).

However, I didn't find that same romantic compatibility again. I made sure to avoid the scarcity mindset and the infatuation that comes with it. That was great and all but I would love to reconvene with abroad girl when she's back.

I guess my question is should I wait till we're both back on campus to approach her again or is it fine if I message her over Facebook and what not. She keeps liking my pictures and I like hers but that's about the only communication we have because I don't want to interact with her when there's no chance of physical capitalization.

What are your thoughts?
Should I forget her till we're both on campus or make sure to keep in touch with a few how are you messages once in a while?
Also, should I even mention all the experiences I accrued over the spring with other girls or should I just show my growth through action?
Thank you for your time
You're a great man who's helped me improve my life so much.

Chase Amante's picture


I'd keep the interaction with her to nil until just before you're due to see her again. Then, maybe a week or two beforehand, you can send her a message and see how she's doing... and after that, propose you meet up once school reconvenes.

If you start messaging her too early, she'll get excited too soon, have it peak, and then decline, and by the time you make it back to school you're catching the tail end or worse of her interest in seeing you - you missed the window. Don't start opening the window until you're able to go through it.

I'd decline mentioning your own experiences. It's better just that your connection is between you and her, and not you talking about the fun college girls you've been with the past semester and her talking about the saucy exotic men she's been with while overseas. Make it you and her, and forget the rest of the world - you get your best shot of getting somewhere with her this way.


Saitam's picture

Thank you so much

B.L.T's picture

Hi. Chase.

Sometimes, sadly, many girls show so much interest in Instagram or their text messages or games on their phone, NOT ME. I want to talk to them, but I feel like I'm intruding because they're in love with their phone. Is there a way divert their attention to ME without making it feel awkward or forced?

How do I get girls to stop looking at their phone?

I would (and many guys, I think) appreciate it if you could give some insight into the subject. Thank you :)

Chase Amante's picture


I have an article about phone calls here: Phone Calls on Dates. But I agree - texting and staring at pictures, etc., is a very different animal.

One that I like using with girls that won't quit staring at their phones is pointing at it and saying, "You seem like you're really busy right now - should we just do this another time?" in a very non-accusatory voice. The message is that you're not interested in hanging around if she's going to be staring at her phone. If she can't take the hint, you should actually leave, too (most women who are interested in you will control their urge to stare at their phones).

Another one you can do is this: if she keeps staring at her phone, tell her, "Can I see that?" and gesture toward her phone. When she hands it to you, ask her, "How do you put this on silent?" Let her show you (or do it yourself if you know how with her phone), then put it on silent. Then tell her to open her purse, and put it in. Close her purse. Then move right on with the conversation as if nothing happened: "So you were telling me about what you loved about Spain?"


jasreian's picture

Hey Chase,

Loving the website, I've learned so much in the five months that I've been following, and it has improved my life tremendously.

Back in November, I was approached by a cute girl while I was working. Unfortunately, it was back before I understood how pickup, flirting, or any non-platonic interaction really worked, so I didn't realize she was into me at first. In fact, once I finally did, I did something (that I didn't realize at the time was very) stupid, and told her how I felt about her. Needless to say, she asked that we just be friends. I cut her off for about two months, after which she asked me to lunch and seemed very eager to hang out with me. I missed a couple more escalation windows and nothing happened. This is when I'd just started studying attraction and didn't realize what I was messing up.

Fast forward to current day, where I've been studying attraction and seduction extensively for the past five months and working on my fundamentals (posture, voice, conversation, just starting to work on chase framing and adding a sexual component to conversation). I've been with a couple other girls and gotten very close to making things happen with a few others (good learning experiences). The one I met in November is still around and has given me a couple signs of attraction (complimenting my muscles, inviting me places, but these were also missed escalation windows). I feel like I could make something happen with this girl if I had another opportunity, especially after reviewing all the other times that I could've made something happen. However, I'm also well aware of attraction's expiration date.

My question is this: If I think she's showing signs of attraction, and giving more escalation windows, should I try to make something happen (ask her out, hang out with her more, try taking her home), or does it sound like she's just trying to keep me around as an orbiter? If there's anything I've learned from this website, it's not to chase, so I'd like to make sure that I'm not.

Thank you :)

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