What’s Different When You Talk to a Hot Girl? | Girls Chase

What’s Different When You Talk to a Hot Girl?

Do you need to do things different when talking to a hot girl?

One of the most ridiculous things I see in the comments section of this website sometimes is this:

This is stupid. It only works on average looking girls... it would NEVER work on a hot girl / a beautiful girl / a real 10.

talk to a hot girl

No qualification is given to the argument, or the experience level of the argument-maker.

There's no evidence to back the statement up.

There's no alternative solution offered.

It's just a random, unqualified wave-of-the-hand dismissal, hanging there in space, pooh-poohing 2,000+ words of case-making with what amounts to the esteemed argument of "Nope - you're wrong, I'm right, no proof necessary, I just know it! Case closed."

I see it on all kinds of articles. Everything from how to flirt with women, to how to hold a conversation with a girl, to how to handle logistics. It's indiscriminate... to believe these commenters is to believe that beautiful women live lives of celibacy, never interacting with those base creatures called "men," immune as they are to the charms of "men."

It's silliness.

But I understand where it comes from.

To the average man, hot and beautiful women really ARE like strange creatures from another world.

Mr. Regular Guy never interacts with them.

He never gets to know them.

To them, he does not exist, and to him, they exist merely as dreams... fantasies.

Is it really no different when you talk to a hot girl?

Or could it be there's something I'm not telling you?

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.

GET CHASE’S MASTERY PACKAGE

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Comments

Cipher's picture

Excellent read as always, Chase.

I've been applying your techniques on a hot girl, and it seems to be working. Her friend asked me (in her presence, after overcoming some initial resistance from her) whether I fancied her. The hot girl then interjected, saying that she noticed that I tended to laugh whenever she did. As I wanted to keep her guessing, I playfully said that I was the sort who was easily amused, and grinned wryly.

I'll be seeing her in a couple of days, and was wondering how I should ratchet things up? Would you say that the very act of her asking whether I fancied her (first through her friend, and then directly) is a promising sign to escalate things quickly?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Cipher-

Well, you always want to escalate quickly, but the main consideration is how quickly can you safely escalate (without incurring posturing to protect her reputation)? Assuming this is a social circle situation, I'd suggest following the guidelines for one of these scenarios if appropriate:

Cute Girls in Class? Stop Flirting and Start DATING

Can You Flirt at Work Under the Radar? Why Yes You Can

If, alternately, she's in a non-school, non-work social circle situation (like, she's a friend of a friend of people you hang out with), then you want to ask her out ASAP and get things rolling, as discussed here:

The Secret to Hooking Up with Friends

Just from the read on this one, I'd say ask her out next time. She either says "yes," in which case you're golden, or she says "maybe / no," in which case either she's just toying with you, or she IS interested, but more interested in playing games (in which case, you turn your attentions to some other girl, and see if this girl starts chasing after you... and take the other girl if she doesn't).

Chase

Knight's picture

I've noticed the days when I've actively sought to lead the attraction (sadly very few times, all very much my fault of course) I've gone into a mode where I just deflect negative remarks all together or at least joked about my flaws. During these times It's been very easy to talk completely at level with very beautiful women. I still had a burning desire in my mind but didn't let that control my actions or my thoughts, yet let it guide my process if this all makes sense.

- note; sorry if this is off topic, I plan to read this article tomorrow on the bus to school. Morning and nightly reading help stick important things in my line of thought.

Knight

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Knight-

Self-deprecation is a powerful tool for displaying social dominance, although it must be appropriately deployed. Joking about your height, for instance, makes you look like you're trying to cover up an insecurity; joking about how ashamed you are that you took a juggling class and discovered how uncoordinated you are, on the other hand, makes you seem very confident and attractive.

The rule is, joke about things that she probably sucks at too, and men aren't normally expected to be exceptional at, and you'll look good. Joke about being bad at things that men should be good at, and/or that she herself is good at, and you'll end up looking like you're covering up an insecurity.

Stay close to the former and away from the latter though, and you're solid.

Chase

marshall wayne's picture

haha, your Law of Levels reminds me of the Pokemon games,
where you had to level up your charmander enough to beat Brock's Pokemon . i think almost everybody did this , instead of changing Pokemon they just leveled it up and then battled.
nice idea to use that approach in real life.

DJ's picture

Hey Chase,

I laughed at your game analogy SO HARD! (Sorry, I'm still young and I'm a gamer, and in gaming wise, your tactic would be not as efficient I think...) You're like saying to beat the level 80 boss at 60 is possible, but with finesse. But you would train to be level 100 to beat the boss. This, although takes WAY longer, is absolutely failproof! Although a bit ironic when you wrote in your time efficiency entry where you try to find shortcuts to everything :P
But nonetheless, I love that theory when it comes to girls though... Do the hard yakka and you'll level up!

But I'm wondering, this levelling up yourself, this upgrading yourself, upgrading your fundamentals, the fundamentals that trumps all. Is there a real way to really make it quantified, and really be measurable? Just by feeling would be really hard I think...

DJ

Franco Lombardi's picture

Hey DJ,

As a former gamer myself, I can relate. But what Chase is pointing out here though is that, once you ARE level 100, you no longer have to do any more "leveling up!" If the highest level boss is level 100, then, since you've already put in the work to hit level 100, you never have to level again! You'll also be able to pound right through the level 80 and the level 90 boss. You'll no longer need to use any "cheap tricks and tactics" to beat any of them.

It may take longer to get where you want to be with hot women, but once you get there the correct way (by raising your fundamentals), you'll never need to use a cheese pick-up line again. ;)

Cheers,

Franco

tayoisrich's picture

This is why I have been reading your articles and putting your techniques into practice (and bought your ebook) since late 2011. I live in Nigeria (West Africa) and your techniques works here.

A lot of the other articles I read on PUA are not "fundamentalist" in nature they are just for people that live in the west... do this.. do that, say this, jump up this way, open your buttocks like this... blah blah and all those rubbish from guys like David DE****** were just too complicated!

I hear voices in my head...

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tayo-

I didn't know you were Nigerian! I've had some good friends from there... a brother of Oguchi Onyewu was one, and another was a Yoruba friend from a long time ago... she used to tell me a lot of stories about there, about how complete strangers would meet in the street and just get into a conversation, and how even when it was 90 degrees the wind would blow and people would say, "Oh, it's so cold!" and get out their jackets to stay warm. Also about how when the imported the American soap operas it was a national disaster because all the women stopped cooking and cleaning and washing to go watch the soaps, and the men were all complaining.

Anyway, yes - I've always thought the underlying principles of connecting and attracting are a lot more interesting than the dressing you put on top of them... one changes, but the other stays the same no matter where you go, or when.

Chase

Wes's picture

Hey Chase,
I'm about to read this post in a minute but first I wanted to get a question off my mind before I forgot it...so straight to the comments section I went.
I don't know if you see all my posts on the boards but around the beginning of last month I posted about a night me and my friends were out at a monthly art/music festival and one of my friends brought a girl along who showed interest in me. I took it and moved us to having a date that same week. During that time, I thought I had everything all figured out. I assumed that she was down to going straight to sex since she agreed to come straight to my place.
I assumed a lot of things about her. I assumed she was experienced because of the friends she hangs out with. They're all wild party girls who like to get into trouble and do things they aren't old enough to do yet. (drinking, sneaking in clubs)
I assumed that she was the same way. And at the beginning, I just did the whole date to move forward with results and get laid. After all, Im always talking about NOT wanting a girlfriend (at least not yet)
Come to find out, she is actually very inexperienced and awkward and has only had sex with her ex boyfriend. She is pretty much just as inexperienced as me.
She doesn't know that I now know this because our mutual friend informed me about all of this. I think she was leading me to believe that she was experienced to be more desirable or maybe I was just assuming too early and didn't get to know her enough?
Anyway, though we only spent time alone together only twice, Ive begun to like her a little (kinda bad, I know) I'm considering her as a girlfriend and I'm going to try to set up another date this week so that maybe we can get off on the right foot without me assuming things and trying to have sex with her the whole time.
I just want to know, should I move on from her? Is this unfixable? Did I do too much damage in our first date?
And also, how can I be better in judgment next time of the type of girls I'm dealing with? How can I truly tell if a girl is inexperienced or experienced.
The way she came off when we first met was an experienced girl
Got her alone and she was completely different.

I guess the main thing is that I didn't properly dive deep like you teach. I wouldn't be having this problem or these feelings for her. But I'd still like to know how I can prevent myself from being duped next time. And if I can fix it. (believe me, even though I did a lot wrong...she's still somewhat of a keeper)

Sorry for the long post.

Wes

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Wes-

Think you already saw my reply, but just in case, here it goes again:

Reading Experience Levels

Chase

Mr. Rob's picture

What exactly is "game"? I understand fundamentals but I figured that is part of Game. Im thinking from a finesse point of view game is more or less talking your way into getting said female by presenting yourself as a bad boy and being naturally good conversationalist.

Just for shits and giggles I went to a hood club last night for the first time (I stay in Pensacola, FL) I've always wanted to hook up with a pretty black woman for exotic purposes (although out of 50 women there I found 3 or 4 to fit my standard to sleep with, no offense pcola your ratchet!). Anyway I preformed a few approaches and found that every girl I approached was fairly standoffish, uninterested, and fleeting despite my white suburb sexiness (i'll be honest im still working on my vibe/fundamentals) but I figured since I was exotic to the area it would work in my favor like when you go to a different country. Quite the contrary I found it harder to maintain a convo and build attraction than in a regular bar/club. Have you (or anybody) ever had any experience in a ghetto pickup situations and how it's differs from regular clubs/bars?

Rob

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Rob-

"Game" has a bit of an ephemeral definition. I tend to think about it these days as your learned verbal responses - e.g., things like how you respond to girls asking you to buy drinks or them hitting you with tests are "game," while things like your voice tone and look and the basics of how you hold a conversation are fundamental. One definition might be of fundamentals as "things you are" and game as "things you do."

When you're white meeting black girls, especially black girls enmeshed in urban black culture (i.e., not black girls going to a predominantly white university, or working at a corporate job surrounded by white folks), you'll tend to run into attainability problems where they're viewing you as someone who potentially thinks he's better than they do. You have to go out of your way a bit to show that you're chill, humble, and down with them and not like "all those other white boys" who (they assume) consider girls from the hood to just be hood rats and chicken heads.

You might try just chilling at the bar there a bit and sipping a drink and seeing if any will approach you. Basically, what you're looking for is a chance for them to observe you being relaxed and non-intimidating, without them being watched by you back, so they can start thinking, "Maybe this guy is for real," and start lowering their defenses / raising their curiosity levels.

Chase

Mr. Rob's picture

That makes sense, for years people i've run across and friends talk about having "game" but their definitions included fundamentals, probably because they don't know what fundamentals are. As for the advice in the hood, that makes a ton of sense since black people from the local urban black community always see me (or white people in general) as having the upper hand in life and tend to look down or look different on the white community because of this (maybe they think we aren't appreciative of this, their jealous, etc. idk). I don't look at black people as being much different other than having a different skin color and having an interesting culture. So communicating that I really don't view myself as being better or higher up socially (even though I really don't feel that way) should hit the nail on the head unless their bitter (which isn't my problem).

Anyway Chase I (and hope everyone else) appreciates you taking the time out of your day to answer our minute off topic questions all the time. You really do a good job business wise catering to us. Im curious as to your success with girls chase now being subscription based, and hope it's prospering as well as you predicted. Don't forget to drop a line if you ever come to Pensacola mate (Cautionary Note: I will bug you for wisdom on pickup while getting to know you.)

Rob

Pm61591's picture

Hey Chase,

Really enjoyed this article, and will definitely apply the insights and tactics you shared within it. Recently I've just been talking to the hottest/sexiest girls where ever and whenever I go out and about. And I noticed from my experience so far that most of the hottest girls I talk to have a lot more insecurities then let's say "average" girls. Again this could just be due to coincidence but what is your take on that? Also I know in one article you wrote about how girls in your dorm use to think you were intimidating or scary and that you changed your facial expressions. Recently a girl at a college party said I was intimidating and another one said stop trying to intimidate me. Both of these comments were a surprise to me for I was smiling and had my eyes slightly wider then usual. My questions to you are could it still be my smile and facial expressions are still off? Or am I making to much eye contact? I usually hold contact until they break it and I am a bit on the bigger side so I guess I'm naturally intimidating. Or is it a combination of things? Eye contact, clothes, facial hair and expressions? One more thing thats more about socializing in general. I have a very very good memory where i can remember names and stuff about people i met years ago. Unfortunately i get called creepy usually by girls. now i dont act like i know them if its been a year or so usually ill just reintroduce. but if its been a month or so ill call them by their name and the reaction I get is usually your creepy or am I a stalker. Do you think I should just pretend I don't remember them? Any help would be awesome. Thanks!

Flames's picture

I don't think there really is any such thing as too long, but there are subtle EC protocols and to be honest I can't really explain how they go (I know that doesn't help). What I did when practicing my EC was just 'stare down' everything dogs, cats, women, men, pretty girls (gasp!).

I would imagine that because your not used to it (and have had bad reactions in the past) that although you've got strong EC, which is good, theres a lot of tension and nerves, so practice a neutral face in the mirror, just relax every muscle, then practice the EC and see what happens. My bet is that
you'll drop into a rhythm where you naturally smile at just that right time.

The problem is that essentially your coming in all smiles then she notices you, and you've nowhere to go better, so at some point youve got to drop 'the act' or stay grinning like a lunatic. If you go from a neutral composure (and it's not all just facial BL) then go to a more enthusiastic mode, then it's like a non verbal compliment; it's saying "I've noticed you and your attractive to me".

Hope that helps.

Regards
Flames

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Phil-

I'll second Flames on relaxing eye contact a bit.

If you're getting into mini-staring contests with girls, that could be it, yeah. A good rule to follow with eye contact is whoever's looking first looks away first. So, if you were looking, and she met your gaze, you be the first to look away. If she's looking, and she met your gaze, she looks away. You can also play around with the "shy eyes" part of this post to get a better feel for this: Elite Eye Contact.

On names, yeah, I realized that I had somewhat better retention than most people when I was pretty young, too. The solution seems to be taking a moment and pausing a bit as if thinking when trying to recall things, like, "Oh, how was that, uh, you were taking a test or something, right?" and then they go, "OMG, I can't believe you remembered that!" vs., "Hey, how were the MCATs?" and then they're like, "Holy crap, you've been staring in my windows at night, haven't you?"

Dumb down your recollection with some ums and ahs and hmms and questions, "Weren't you?" "Is that right?" "Am I totally off base?" and people will view your memory as more in the realm of what they'd expect a normal person who isn't obsessed with them to be able to remember. Otherwise, they think you must keep a journal or something where you write about them every night: "Today, Anna said that her little brother Philip set her left pigtail on fire at the age of six. Remind her of this in 3.2 months."

Chase

bunny's picture

Chase... I'll put it simply for now, THANK YOU for all your efforts, Talk to you Later.

Anonymous's picture

"When you talk to a hot girl, if you're leagues below her in terms of attractiveness as a mate, yes, sure - you'd better be able to escape from a straight jacket in a tank full of mako sharks and be adept at juggling screaming mountain lion cubs while the mother puma looks on, if you hope to stand a chance at even possibly, conceivably winning this girl's heart."

The internet was created for the sole purpose of posting this paragraph.

BBJW's picture

Interesting article, as always chase!

I often read your articles more out of interest/curiosity, because as a highschooler, I feel a plurality of your articles are focused on adults. Anyway, I was wondering if you have some articles that you think would apply more directly, and am curious if you have a highschool focused article planned?

Anyway, my specific question is this... So I fancy this girl and she fancies someone else who doesn't like her back... Do I still have a chance? Should I just ask her out, or do you have any reccomendations for wooing her?

Thanks,
BBJW

Author
Chase Amante's picture

BBJW-

As plenty of the younger members of the discussion boards will tell you, the vast majority of the content on this site works as well in high school as it does anywhere else! I don't have any high school-specific articles planned (just since it isn't an area I have much experience in - I spent high school as a lone wolf outsider), but there's plenty on here to tide you over in the meantime - everything from having a sexy walk to asking girls out to figuring out unconventional sex logistics (if, say, you're still living at home with mom and dad) applies.

Liking the girl who likes someone else - I'd probably suggest asking her out first, just to make sure you're on her radar, and if she says "no," then focus on building up some preselection and either let her see you with or hear about you being with other girls, or find ways to tell stories within earshot of her or that will get back to her about other girls you're meeting or talking to. If she knows you like her, and other women like YOU, there's a good chance she stops chasing after that guy who's ignoring her completely and starts taking interest in the more attainable option - be smooth and show interest persistently, but don't chase, of course.

Chase

jpaulino's picture

CHase i love your articles my dude, but picking hot girls and regular girls is totally different entirely. Its a different game, you can be good looking and make 50k a year but nowadays good looking girls are really smart. Why would she settle for a good looking guy who makes 50k a year when she knows there are guys as good looking if not better looking who make alot more. See, girls play the game too, theyre always looking and waiting for a possible better thing to come along. 80% of your game is social status, i will argue this point till the end of times. Simple fact of life

Elliot's picture

This is a terrific site. Thank you for such honesty and genuine wisdom. My question is in regards to the variability beauty ratings of the "hot" vs. "pretty" vs. "absolutely beautiful" etc etc. Though I do realize each man has his own criteria and tastes, I believe there are some common grounds we all must share. Given that is there any possibility you could post images of such "10s" in all such categories etc? Perhaps this is a ridiculous request, but I suppose this a result of desire to know how similar my definition of the "10"s are in relation to most men. Thank you.

Simeon's picture

Hi Chase, so, this article was very insightful as always. But, it also leaves me wondering: What's the point in even meeting women if all I have to do to be naturally attractive is get my Fundamentals down. It seems that the basis of this article's argument is: Go for Fundamentals, and not game. But Fundamentals are something which (at least as I understand them) one can improve without having to ever meet a single women.

So, if I accept everything you wrote in this article, wouldn't it be more effective use of my time to stay at home and practice my posture and eye contact etc. as opposed to actually going out and meeting women? And only go out to meet women once I believe my Fundamentals are solid enough for the women I want. This feels very counter-intuitive and completely against what you've wrote in some of your other articles.

Am I missing something here?

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