(1) Beginner

The guys that eventually start to “get” women all have one thing in common: they ALL realize that being consistent with women is just not as simple as they thought it was going to be... and they step up to the challenge.

In this article, I’m going to tell you why the white knight attitude has to go, and I’m going to give you some clues as to what you should do instead.

First off, what is a white knight and why does it have anything to do with not stepping up to the challenge with women?

A white knight is the name given to a certain type of blind optimism, and it is a mindset that is very common amongst guys who are yet to take the demands of being good with women seriously.

White knight behaviours include things like:

• Putting women on pedestals

• Making the girl your only focus

• Speaking overly intelligently (faking)

• Taking everything at face value

• Rushing to judgement in order to peripherally impress women or “hold your ground”

• Pretending you are asexual (no sexual motives)

• Posturing, or running an “impress the damsel” routine

• Putting up strong barriers in an attempt to appear like you have good traits like honesty, faithfulness, infatuation, cleanliness, agreeableness, etc.

• Roping girls into romantic relationships because they gave you some signals

Have you ever congratulated yourself for something you thought you did really well, only to later discover you actually overlooked huge details and what you were doing wasn’t even half as good as you imagined it was?

White knighting is a result of the same phenomenon. We think we are clever, until the penny drops later that we are actually messing up very important details that are crucial to long-term viability of our behaviour.

You know that feeling. We all know that feeling. You find yourself caught in the same routine: wake up, go to work, come home, heat up some quick food/order food, watch TV or a movie, go to bed. Then wake up…and do it all over again. Maybe you change up the routine a bit with a visit to the gym, an outing to a bar, a video game, or going out to see a movie in theaters.

You walk around, the sun is shining, the breeze is kissing your face, and yet…you feel like something is missing.

You look around and you see happy guys walking side by side with girls in summer dresses. Maybe they are having a summer fling. Maybe they’re in a relationship. Maybe they’re married. Regardless of what the case may be, you see what they have that you don’t: a woman.

And no matter how much you may have going on in your life – how good you are at your job, how many friends you have, how nice your apartment is – life just isn’t complete without a woman in your life. Every man comes to this realization at one point or another.

Regardless of whether it’s a one-night stand, a repeat hookup, or a bona fide relationship, a man can’t call himself happy – can’t call himself a true man – without the ability to bring women into his life.

So how do you bring women into your life? What do you do when you’re looking for a woman to break you out of your routine?

This question is exactly what I’m going to answer today. So pause that episode of Game of Thrones and pay attention.

We’ve all asked the question “How can I make the most of my looks?”, and today I’m going to tell you a bit about how you can do that without adjusting your fashion sense or wardrobe.

I’m going to tell you how your appearance is impacted by what you do and who you appear to be.

Looks are not as cut and dry as model versus normal guy. They DO change according to your mood, what you are doing, and the chemistry you have with different people.

You should never just immediately assume the worst, and that you aren’t attractive, because things are much more flexible than we typically think they are.

The good news is, people will always find attractive things about you if you are being personally magnetic, so it is actually impossible for people to not find good things about you if you are engaging. The way to be engaging, summed up in a word, is to be self-positive, because the more positive you are to yourself the more positive your disposition to the world. That is something that cannot be faked, and therefore is an honest indicator that shows women the presence of the strong traits that they actually LOOK FOR in men.

This also works the other way, because objective looks nosedive when a person is in a bad mood. So don’t feel too bad for yourself; other people get a rough deal at times too, and you can get a good deal for yourself if you are diligent in your self-improvement and outlook.

It is a common problem: you didn’t make a move and now you are stuck between a rock and a hard place where the girl loses interest and things start to fall to pieces.

So how do you keep that from happening?

Simple: you make the move.

Maybe that seems like a too-simple answer, and maybe it is, but if you can’t make your moves work when the occasion demands you do, then why sit around convincing a girl that “one day” you will be able to?

The truth of it is that if you can’t get it working at the start, you will usually be left with only one direction things can go: downhill.

If you can’t make up a good move on the spot, you probably won’t come up with a good move later... you’ll just linger around wishing you did something and get into a destructive thought loop that will stop you from making up a new move that would work.

The secret to not overthinking making the move is to realise that the action is first won in the mind before it is acted out confidently in real life. And it is won in the mind by establishing a habit of action. And if that action doesn’t exist, then it is won by having nerves of steel, and hopefully a creative spark that will take you somewhere.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, a 22-year-old named Elliot Rodger went on a killing spree, stabbing to death three people, shooting three more, and then turning the gun on himself.

Before doing so, he posted a video on YouTube in which he talks about his rationale:

Out of curiosity, I watched it, though I usually prefer avoiding the news since there’s always another death, always another killing... yet in a rather mixed batch of emotions, covering everything from horror to rage to sadness to recognition, I knew exactly what I was seeing.

Because I think a lot of young males in Western society go through what Elliot went through – I know certainly I did – and while it’s easy (and undoubtedly true) to say that had he hung in there a few more years, his life would’ve gone dramatically differently, as would have the lives of his victims, it’s worth taking a moment to understand what was going on inside the man that prompted him to do things he could never take back...

... and also, for anyone bothered by thoughts of following a similar path, what he should have done instead.

Selfishness has never been a glorified trait among humanity. Caring chiefly about one’s own needs is frequently named as one of the greatest threats to society and causes of degeneration and degradation within it.

After all, a selfish man is supposed to be a guy who offers nothing to society. He’s nothing but some leech that cares about himself, and he’ll go to great lengths just to put down others so he can stay on top.

…Right?

Au contraire. Used in the wrong capacity, sure, selfishness could certainly hurt others. However, being selfish, in of itself, is not bad. Thinking about it as a negative trait, however, may certainly be introducing a daily dose of cognitive dissonance to your life.

Such dissonance comes to the fore as you finally realize the inevitable fact that everyone has selfish tendencies.

We all aim to promote ourselves first, followed by others. Throw a big steak in front of you while you’re starving, and have the option to leave it there for someone else or die, and you’re eating that steak.

Survival is coded into our biology.

However, society promotes the idea that leaving the steak would be more admirable. Promoting ourselves over others is bad, and we should instead seek to help others over ourselves.

The conflict between society’s vaunted ideal of selflessness versus your biological desire to tend to your own needs mounts and builds, and eventually people are left attempting to help each other become better, but never helping themselves become better, even though they are the only ones who can do so.

And that, my friends, leads us in a perfect circle of solving nothing.

You meet a really cute girl at an event or out on the street. You know right off the bat that she’s the kind of girl who gives you butterflies in your stomach. She smiles at you. You exchange pleasantries. You vaguely reference how the two of you should get together sometime. She giggles and agrees. She gives you her number and says to contact her sometime. The two of you part ways.

You walk away with a foolish grin on your face. You feel great about the interaction. Then suddenly… the feeling starts to wear away. Doubt starts to creep into your mind.

“Wait… did she actually like me or was she just being nice. Does she know that I want to go out with her or does she just expect to meet up to talk about business stuff?”

And then you let those doubts seep into the next interaction you have with her. Maybe you come off a bit too needy when you text her. Maybe you’re too friendly and not sexy enough the next time you see her in person.

And you lose a girl who you could’ve had a great connection with… just because you didn’t know that the girl liked you. You couldn’t be sure of your ability to read the signs and you couldn’t be certain that the girl was attracted.

Has this ever happened to you before? I bet it has.

Sometimes, even when you’re pretty sure that a girl likes you, the lack of certainty can actually prevent you from making something happen. And then you end up frustrated or regretful. Maybe months or years later the girl even tells you that she liked you and was waiting for you to make the right move.

Well, I’m going to show you how to put yourself in the position to make the right move. I’m going to show you all of the things to look for so that you’ll never have to wonder whether or not she actually likes you again.