Darius Belejevas joins us today for the fifth installment of the Girls Chase Podcast. Darius is a regular contributor to GirlsChase.com on the subject of fashion and style (you can read his articles here), and today he weighs in with more on these and other topics.
In today’s podcast, Darius and host Varoon Raja discuss:
Many
years back, I had dinner with a girl I’d recently just slept
with. We were both young and inexperienced; our date had been fun, but
the sex mediocre.
On this second date, we had a nice time, and chatted. I didn’t have much more time in town, and would be leaving soon. At the end of the meal, I invited her home.
At first she accepted, but then she stopped, mid-walk: “Wait, you’re leaving, right? You know what, I think I’m just going to go home.”
I didn’t fight it. I said okay and let her go. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t disappointed.
If you’ve been hooking up a while, you’ve no doubt experienced this too:
Sometimes she’s happy to sleep with you again and again once
first sex occurs
Other times, you sleep with her once, and that’s it
... and there isn’t always rhyme or reason to it either.
A girl you had a great date and phenomenal sex with may not call you back, and a girl you bumbled your way into the bedroom with and prematurely ejaculated in front of may fall all over herself to meet you again.
So what gives?
What’s it take to convert a girl you’ve slept with once into one you sleep with again and again?
Is your ex-girlfriend’s best friend off limits?
It depends on the situation that has called for your pursuit. Making her your new catch requires some fine tuning, and if you are going to go after her, your venture needs to be completely justified. There are three situations where one might feel justified to go after the bestie:
I’m not going to beat around the bush, I’m a funny guy. I do stand-up comedy for fun. I’m the guy who leaves his friends and family in stitches. Being funny has both helped and hurt me with women. Humor helped me because I win over her friends with ease, I have some great openers, and I can use it to diffuse awkward situations.
But that same humor has led to me receiving more tests, not being taken seriously, being the entertainer and not the lover, and on more than a few occasions it has bought me a one-way ticket to the friend zone.
What I have come to realize about using humor with women is that you need to know when and how to use it to get her to go home with you. So here is my breakdown of how to be a funny guy that still gets laid.
Hi there and welcome back.
Today I will be continuing my infield series, where I share my own personal real life experiences going out seducing women. I will cover the events and add my personal notes. Each post will cover one particular event in a way that you can learn something from it.
I’ve recently been talking about fundamentals that help you get your foot into the club scenes, whether it be having the right light-hearted approach, or introducing your personality in a way that embraces the challenges brought on by the club scene.
Here I want to talk about how you really should be merging your persona with your activities when out in public.
First off, let me say, yes, there is a certain stigma and social pressure put on ANYBODY who is active socially in public. People might view you outrageous, unfairly privileged, amoral, or even shame you for being outgoing.
Sometimes, just for waving at a person, someone else may see you as arrogant; or for having a sex life, people can think you “unrealistic” or “irresponsible”; and for being proud of your growth you will face snickers from people that think a man who self improves is “weak” for admitting he is not already perfect.
It is easy to feel uncertain about yourself when any of these judgements are circling you. It can feel like if you make a mistake people are going to make it worse and it will destroy your image.
You will FEEL a resistance to becoming part of any scene because of this feeling of doubt and indecision. And it is natural to close up and think “Well, IF I act conservative enough, then I’ll slip through undetected”. However, for most people, even though they TRY to not get caught out, the fact is, sometimes you just are.
My solution?
Personal integrity.
Note from Chase: this is our first post from Philip Etemesi, joining us from Africa for a four-article trial run. Philip’s been a follower of and practitioner of Girls Chase material for some time, with his own twists. Please let us know in the comments section of Philip’s next few articles if you enjoy his writing and would like to see more from him in the future. His first article is about meeting girls on buses. Here’s Philip.
I am a new writer at Girls Chase and I am more than thrilled to be part of a site that has influenced my game so much. For a start, I’ve been tasked with reviving a blog post series called Tactics Tuesday. Through it, I shall focus on seduction techniques that you can use in situations that might appear tricky at first.
If you don’t own a car, you probably ride the bus a number of times a week. Even if you do own a car, you’ll find yourself having to take the bus from time to time because you’re either saving on gas or you’re tired of pressing your foot to the pedal. Buses are designed to transport plenty of people, and any location where lots of people converge will consequently have lots of women too. Buses can offer a great atmosphere for seduction.
So in my first piece, I’ll be your tutor on the all-too-tricky issue of how to approach a girl in a bus.
One of the biggest obstacles for a lot of men when it comes to improving with women is fixating on the wrong thing.
Much of this seems to come from improper understanding of some of the raw basics of attraction.
When you see guys get hung up on one specific characteristic and blame that as the cause of all their woes with women, like the ones I discussed in “I Can’t Get Girls Because Girls Only Want [BLANK]”:
... it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
And when you see guys become (overly) obsessive about improving in one specific area, like muscles or wealth, it’s because they misunderstand attraction.
So how does attraction work?
Because surely, all these things have some impact on attraction... right?
But then, so do fundamentals.
And game.
So if all of them have some impact, then just how do these things all play together to affect a woman’s ultimate degree of attraction for you?
A lot of guys new to game view clubbing as a natural and easy first step. We think that immediately jumping into the deep-end and trying to swim is “obviously” the biggest and best move we have at our disposal to get more success meeting girls. But what if jumping into clubbing too fast reduces opportunities and causes early plateaus?
When it comes to clubbing, if you don’t hit the right notes, it is very easy to slip into the background of the club, ignored and unsuccessful, and being in that background encourages all kinds of bad habits and mistakes to form or grow out of control.
If I was to sum this central message of this article intro one sound-byte, it would be: make sure you are going in with a good chance of coming out ahead. Doing so obviously comes down to solid foundations, but it also comes down to some very specific foundations that are needed in clubs specifically.
The guys at Girls Chase have covered some of the big ones, like moving fast, selection, and mindsets, but there is another layer of preparation that exists just below this advice that ensures you optimize your clubbing, whether or not you can pull the aforementioned off.
These pre-club foundations act like a bridge between a naturally attractive attitude outside of the club, and a naturally ACTIVE attitude inside the club.
And they’re what we’ll be talking about today.
Recently had a discussion with one of our forum members about some odd behavior he was seeing from a former girlfriend who works in his office.
They’d had a friends with benefits relationship for about half a year, before she broke things off with him to enter a committed relationship with another man.
What confused him the most, however, was that this girl had seemed to like him more, yet she still went off to date the wrong guy anyway. Her new guy has some pretty big downsides, too: he’s jealous and controlling. He’s forbid his girlfriend from having any contact with her ex from our forum, and monitors her phone calls and texting.
What this forum member asked me was, “Why would she date this guy when she already had me?”
The answer, of course, was that he wasn’t available for the kind of relationship this girl needed – so even if he would’ve been her first choice for that role, he simply wasn’t an option she could choose from on the shelf.
