Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

11 Mistakes that Ruin First Dates (and How NOT to Make Them)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

first date mistakesI’ve been on innumerable first dates over the years. And I’ve coached all sorts of students through limitless more dates. And if there’s one thing you find out, it’s that the first date is absolutely, inescapably crucial to how things play out the rest of the courtship.

The first date is a make-or-break event. Hit a homer on the date, and the rest is pretty magical.

A great first date makes your date partner comply more with you (she does what you ask of her). It causes her to cut you more slack (i.e., she’ll let you get away with more). And it piques her interest in you (now she wants where things go with her and you!).

But there’s plenty of opportunity to botch the first date, too. And a lot of folks do, a lot of the time. There’s all this uncertainty: you don’t know your date well yet (certainly not as well as you’ll know her later on... if all goes well). You don’t know what she likes, what she’ll respond to... what ‘does it’ for her. You might think you do – but you don’t. Not yet.

Even if you’ve known her a while, well... people have their ‘social selves’, which is what they present to their friends and acquaintances. Getting her on a date is about getting past this social self (and finding out whom she really is).

On top of it all, you may not be all that sure what to do with your date, what to discuss, or where to take her. So in addition to all the question marks of your date herself, there is also the question mark of the date.

And the more question marks there are, the rougher things get.

In this article we’ll look at 11 of the most fatal mistakes you can make on first dates.

But don’t worry – we’ll also talk about how to avoid those mistakes, to make your first dates go as smooth as butter (and make your date melt like butter while she’s out with you, too).

Calibration Series Pt. 1: What Is Calibration?

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

calibration
You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with them. This means you need to know how to read her signals, punish/reward, persist, and more.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.

A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:

“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...

For instance, on a macro level:

How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:

How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”

These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.

This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.

First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!

That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.

How to Create Your Life in 5 Steps, Pt 2: Executing the Plan

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

executing the plan
Great goals and a great plan are important – but they don’t mean squat if you don’t execute. There are 10 aspects of execution: focus, discipline, choice, plus 7 more.

In Part 1 of this series, I illustrated a five-step system to create and track your goals and progress.

This system has worked for me extremely well this year, and I’ve managed to do more in my life than I ever thought possible.

I also showed you in Part 1 how to structure your life in your own custom way to start accomplishing your goals. However, it’s important to understand that no accomplishment is possible without actually doing anything. A person can plan for life all they want, but if there is no execution, nothing will ever happen.

So let’s get into the most important factor of ensuring that you actually do what you desire to achieve – and that is the question of execution.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Time Your Moves

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

time your moves
When your words, actions, and moves aren’t timed right, it all feels wrong and incongruous. Yet when the timing is right, everything becomes magic.

When a comedian makes a joke, even if it’s a spectacular joke, if the timing is wrong, nobody laughs.

Usually on Girls Chase we talk about timing in the context of:

Yet timing snakes its tendrils through everything you do with women. Timing matters in your opens. Timing matters when you ask for investment. Timing matters at transition points. Timing matters during the pull, the kiss, and the escalation to intimacy.

If your timing is off, everything in your process will be off. You’ll fly blind through the courtship, trying this here and that there. Timing, you will notice if you observe enough guys in action, often is the Achilles’s heel of many men who work hard in seduction but reap few rewards. When you see such guys, your frequent reaction will be “Why is he doing that then? He should’ve done that 10 minutes ago!” or “Why is he saying this now? She’s not ready for that yet!”

We’re going to tackle timing in two ways today.

The first is to give you a rough sequence of events a courtship progresses through.

The second is to give you a couple signs to watch out for to let you calibrate your timing no matter where you’re at with her.

Are Gorgeous Women More Difficult than Cute or Pretty Ones?

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

gorgeous women
Some guys will tell you to get a beautiful girl, treat her the same as any girl. Good advice, but it’s worth keeping in mind: she isn’t, actually, the same as any girl.

Uh, yeah. Duh.

But every so often, I’ll hear some guy say something like “You should just treat that girl like she’s a 7.”

To an extent, I agree, but that doesn’t mean that if you walk up to any stunner on the street and treat her like you would any other girl, you’re automatically going to sleep with her.

Your initial cockiness might intrigue her and get you to the hook point, but very quickly she’s going to find out if you’re really as good as you pretend to be. And if you’re not her superior, she will quickly expose you.

Don't Compete with Guys on What They're Good At (Instead, Beat Them on What They're Not)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

beat them at what they're good at
When you’re head-to-head against another guy over a girl, the last thing you want to do is try to best him at what he’s good at. Beat him on your terms, instead.

Commenting under my article “If a Girl Has Sex with You Fast, is She a Slut?”, Mike asked:

“Hey chase, please I have a question to ask. I want to know how to compete with guys more handsome than me. Thanks.”

It’s a good question. It echoes similar questions I’ve answered in articles and in the comments before, such as:

I don’t want to spoil the whole article, but the way you win, of course, is by not trying to beat that guy at what he’s good at.

Instead, what you must do to win is change the rules of engagement.

With the right tweaks, you can put a guy on the defensive and emerge victorious for the girl, despite almost any number of on-paper advantages he might seem to have over you.

What Tight Game Looks Like (or What It Should Look Like)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

tight game
Tight game in general should be hard to say. That’s for good reason: while flashy game can be attractive, it can also attract a lot of unwanted attention.

Last week, we discussed the difficulties one may face in perceiving tight game – the elements involved and the ability to spot guys who are truly good with women. We also discussed some of the key elements that constitute true mastership compared to simple flash. And no, mastership is not about having that super-crazy routine or having girls react crazily over your approach; rather, it is about calibrating smoothly, making good calls, having your timing in check, and being able to handle logistics.

In this post, we will discuss “why” tight game should not be easily perceived. What are the benefits of being low key? Why is it a good thing that nobody sees you as the player guy? Keep on reading, because I believe this is a key subject that can’t be covered enough. It may have a direct impact on your dating and pick-up success.

How to Game Your Girlfriend: Good Advice for Your Relationship

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By: Denton Fisher

game your girlfriend
When you’re in a relationship, do you have to game your girlfriend? Yes! You need to know what to do once you’ve got her, how to keep things exciting, and what to do if it ends.

“How do I game a girlfriend?”

A pretty common question in this community.

Oftentimes mentors will respond with “You don’t game your girlfriend. It should be natural.” Well, I agree but disagree. Relationships aren’t something you can hold up with simple tactics. You have to genuinely be a cool guy so that when you run out of canned material, she’ll stick around.

I certainly think you can augment a relationship with proper understanding and tactics. There are most definitely ways to improve your relationships with women and better express what you want out of them if you know a thing or two about relationship game.

How Much Can You Masturbate If You Want to Get Laid?

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

how much should you masturbate
If you jerk off too much, what happens to your sex drive and motivation? Nothing good – but the problem is not masturbation; it’s masturbation to excess.

On an article of mine from earlier this month, a reader asked about masturbation:

“Hi Chase,

Do you think masturbating destroys your drive for taking control of your life and motivation, even if you don’t watch porn?

Growing up I used to do it a lot and I was very timid, low self beleif, and hated sports, I’m wondering if that’s why? I use to do it like 3 times a day.

I do it now, but it’s more here and there. Sometimes I have days where I do it 3x, but I was wondering if I did it once a week or every other week, would that be good for my motivation and for me to start doing better in life and to be more aggressive?”

A later comment on the same topic:

“Chase, i watched porn and masturbated very compulsively throughout all my teenage years, as an escape from life. I was very depressed back then: there was a period that i would watch porn literally all day (i’m a high school dropout)! I’m 24 now and nowadays, the best i can go without fapping to porn is 10-11 days... and that requires A LOT of effort – i get crazy cravings, mood swings, even insomnia...and i don’t feel lust for women in real life at all, even if i find them hotter than the ones i’m seeing on my computer.

This affects not only my love life, but also my potential professional life, because my memory and concentration are terrible when i’m watching porn frequently. There was this time that i went a little over a month without fapping/watching porn and i was literally another person – no more acne, strong attraction for real women, much more sociable, fat loss, muscle gains, etc.

After that, i tried to reintroduce masturbation to porn once a week, i thought – “eh, i can manage that...”

Hah, i couldn’t! After a couple of weeks i started increasing the frequency, and after a while i was back where i was before. It has been about 2 years since then, and i didn’t manage to go over ~20 days without porn/fapping since then.

I find it very difficult to let go of porn, mainly for one thing – fetishes. I have a couple of fetishes (not porn-induced) that without porn would be very hard to fulfill. I could easily leave behind vanilla porn and any other subgenre (i rarely watch them).

I respect you and would love to hear your thoughts, even if you don’t have any advices. Cheers :)”

So let’s talk about jerking your own chain. Can you do it? How much can you do it?

And what happens if you do it a little... an ordinary amount... or a lot?