Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Getting Past Player Guilt (and Not Beating Yourself Up Over Casual Sex)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

player guilt
As long as you don’t give false expectations, you need not suffer from player guilt. In fact, denying her sex when she wants it is NOT the way to spare her feelings.

If you're a man, you'd be forgiven for getting mixed up by all the mixed messages society sends you about casual sex. You've probably heard all the following:

  • "Casual sex is liberating! We must break the bonds of social restrains on sexuality! Let's enjoy our sexuality, and be free!"

  • "Casual sex results from a power imbalance between men and women. Women are forced to trade sex to men sooner than they want to, in the hopes of securing a relationship. It puts women in a difficult spot where it's easy to get hurt."

  • "Casual sex is one of the most empowering acts a woman can engage in. By embracing her sexuality, a woman can learn to love herself, and stop being dependent on how others think of her."

  • "Casual sex is highly damaging to women, and the casual sex epidemic is doing long-term damage to women's self-esteem and ability to form long-term partnerships."

You're alternately a saint and a devil, a savior and a corrupter for engaging in any intimacy with women you know won't lead to marriage.

Of course, the fact is, humans have sex. And they don't always have sex for marriage. If there are a lot of available sexual partners, many humans will have sex with many of them. This is true regardless of location or era. It is true in the West, and it is true in the East. It is true now, it was true 100 years ago, and it was true 5,000 years ago.

The issue is, if you want to be a player, and you want to feel free to indulge in physical intimacy with women who want to enjoy that intimacy with you, how do you get past any feelings of wrongheadedness about this, or guilt?

The Points of No Return in Seduction and Courtships

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

points of no return with women
Every courtship is a ladder of many steps, some of which are absolutely crucial to get anywhere. Failing to pass these points of no return will spell almost certain doom.

The basic premise of courtship with a girl is to always have forward progress; as fast as she allows you to move.

Part of being a smooth guy is knowing exactly when and how to push things forward. Whether you meet a sexy girl at night and quickly move toward intimacy in 15-20 minutes, or if you meet a girl in day game and meet her another day for a date, the primary goal is still to move toward sex and intimacy as fast she allows.

Assuming you’re on a date with a girl, or you’re out with her at night pushing things ahead, there are the key points you’ll have to pass to move toward intimacy. If for some reason you don’t push forward, or you don’t succeed, the entire encounter becomes undone and will likely fail.

These are the points of no return, where pushing for success is imperative despite any circumstances, because if you pass these points without progress, the odds of seeing the girl again are virtually nil.

Below I’ve laid out several crucial points to keep things moving forward with a girl. These all play into the basic idea of escalation windows. These are the windows in which you need to move toward intimacy, and they do not last long. Once they close and forward progress ends, she moves on, or backward-rationalizes that it wasn’t meant to be.

One breakthrough in my game this year has been to realize how important it is to win in these moments. Especially if you’re coming from a less aggressive “nice guy” background, your gut will likely tell you to play it safe in moments that actually require you to be bold, aggressive, and persistent.

Tactics Tuesdays: Watch for the Doggy Dinner Bowl Look in Women

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

doggy dinner bowl look
Women wear a specific facial expression when they want sex now. Keep your eyes peeled for it to get some easy wins.

There's a way a woman will look at you when she's totally into you and ready to go.

She tilts her head down. Her eyes widen. Her pupils dilate. Her eyebrows rise. She'll probably smile, and when she does, it looks like a childlike grin she can't control. You transfix her: she stares at you, looking like that, smiling like that, when you're not looking, and also when you are. If you stop speaking and just stare at her yourself, she'll stare back, with those transfixed eyes, longer than she normally would. You have the entirety of her attention. Her awareness radius has shrunk to you, and you alone.

She may face her body completely toward you. She doesn't have to, but she often will.

If she breaks eye contact, when she does it'll be to look down, even if she's usually the in-control sort who doesn't break eye contact down.

The nonverbal message you get from her as she does this is "I'm ready for it. Waiting for you."

The look is not sexy in the traditional flirtatious sense. It is not a thing a woman learns how to do. It is innocent, in a way. There is no practiced sensuality in it.

It's different from normal flirtation.

Instead, the look is wholly, strictly an involuntary expression that more says "I'm eager and willing" than it does "I'm flirty or horny." Eagerness and willingness are the key emotions behind the look. She is ready for whatever you want with her. She's handing herself over to you.

This look is impossible to mistake once you've learned to look for it.

If you haven't yet, it's one of the most absolutely essential looks to watch for.

As soon as you see it, it's 'game over' (in a good way)... if you notice and take action on it.

13 Positives of Long-Term Relationships and 6 Drawbacks

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

long-term relationship
Is a long-term relationship right for you? Guys naturally experience a measure of turmoil when faced with commitment. What could you gain? What could you lose?

Should you be in a long-term relationship, or keep on rocking solo? If you invest enough time into learning pickup, you’ll inevitably find a girlfriend. For some guys, it happens on the first approach, for others, it takes a month, or a year. But it’s only a matter of time before some play-ette snags you into a long-term relationship (LTR).

Trust me, it happens to all of us.

But you do have a choice, even if it means a lifetime of crushing loneliness and regret.

Why Women Make You 'Dead to Them' at Breakup Time

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you're dead to me
Everything was great with her... and then out of the blue she went ice cold to you and treated you like as if you were dead to her. Why do women 'dead you out', and what can you do when they do it?

On the Girls Chase Boards, a forum member named Ramshead talks about a girl from work he's been sleeping with casually off-and-on for a year, who suddenly went ice cold on him:

So this girl seems to be mad at me for no reason. We work together and we have had issues in the past. We have been going out on and off since May 2018. No one knows we are seeing each other and it’s not in my interest since I’m fooling around with a few of the girls at the office and surrounding business. We both have made it clear we are not looking for a relationship. She has told me she cares about me a lot.

We went out this Saturday we had dinner at my place and went to the beach to talk everything was cool. We came back to my place and had sex and the next day we texted a bit.

But since Monday she has been ignoring me. We really don’t talk that much at work but we at least say hi or smile at each other. So im still warm to her and say hi but she ignores me or turns around. Yesterday an older lady coworker gave my department Hershey’s kisses. When the girl passed by my desk I said her name but she passed by really fast and I thought she ignored me or didn’t here but she came back and I offered her one and she accepted it and said thank you and left.

Today is when I confirmed she really is mad at me about something. We have an hour lunch and our lunches are 30 minutes apart. We usually run into each other on the street and walk around and talk for a bit. Today was different. I was waiting on the intersection for the light to turn green and I saw her on the opposite corner to my right walking on the green light. I wear sun glasses to walk around and I saw here look at me and pretend like she didn’t see me and kept walking. When my light turned green I crossed. I could have turned to my left and catch up to her but I decided to walk straight.

I’m not sure what’s going on. Is she already ending it, wants me to commit. I’m confused since nothing bad happened over the weekend.

This is a common female behavior that heralds an impending breakup. It won't necessarily always lead to breakup, if you catch it in time to resolve it.

But if it goes untreated too long, bad stuff is assured: cheating, breaking up, tantrums, etc.

I talked about this behavior before, in my article six years ago on emotional association and dissociation. When a woman loses enough faith in you and her relationship with you, she emotionally dissociates from you.

Today I want to talk particularly about the pre-breakup "you're dead to me" dissociation guys run into, though. Because it's an especially nasty sort of dissociation, can be quite distressing, and tends to blindside guys who don't know what it is or where it came from.

Anti-Slut Defense: Why Women Want Sex but Act Like They Don’t

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

anti-slut defense
For a woman, being promiscuous can be socially devastating, so she employs “anti-slut defense” to maintain a perception of purity, even if she wants to have sex with you.

Hi, guys. Today we will discuss theories of anti-slut defense – a key subject in pickup and seduction.

We’ve discussed anti-slut defense on multiple occasions – covering both what it is, what it looks like, and more importantly, how to deal with it. In this post, we will get theoretical. I will get more detailed into what it is, and especially – where it comes from.

Before we get into that, let’s explain what it is to our new readers. Hopefully it may serve as a recap to those who are more experienced.

Level Up Your Game, Pt 1: Awareness and Being Present

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

awareness and being present in seduction
Being present and aware during a seduction helps you pick up on a girl’s state and guide things toward intimacy, all while avoiding wildcards and cockblocks.

Hey guys, it’s Daniel and Varoon starting a co-written series about improving your game!

We were chatting about game one day and brainstormed the idea to meet up in Canada, go out and wing each other, then write about it. At the time of writing, Daniel’s just gotten out of a several-month fling, and Varoon is single again after seven years. And since night game has never been a focus for Varoon, he's now committed to learning it – from scratch! We figured this would be a great way to understand and write about pitfalls guys face learning the game (applicable to all situations with girls – not just with night game).

From a weekend we spent together recently in Canada – not only to write these articles but also to train in game – we’re going to cover 20 tips guys can use to improve their game in this four-part series.

We got a proper lay report out of this link-up, too, and the lessons learned were many!

To kick off Part 1, we’ll talk about the importance of awareness and being present.

How to Stop Sucking and Become a Better Man

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

becoming a better man
Do you suck? Probably. Is there a way to not suck? Absolutely! These 5 steps will put you on the road to becoming a better man and sucking way less.

How to become a better man. It’s a question very few of us ask, and why would we?

What is a “man,” anyway? What is “better?” Better than what? Because if we don’t define this, then why would we improve upon it?

 

What Does “Better” Mean?

Can a tree become a better tree? Yes – if it grows, it develops flowers, nuts, and fruit, which feed life. Can gold become better gold? If it’s polished, it can be more beautiful; if it’s shaped, more useful (though the latter is subjective, since gold is only useful for people).

So to become a better man, you must grow and improve: physically, spiritually, socially, intellectually, so you may be more beautiful and useful.

Why? Because the stronger, smarter, and more powerful we are – the happier we are. We’re happiest when we’re growing, improving, and useful. If you’re depressed, sad, or angry, then you’re definitely not “better,” since this is a degradation in state (maybe unless you’re in a goth grind-core band).

Bonus: the better you are, the hotter the women you’ll attract.

Tactics Tuesdays: The "Cook Dinner at My Place" Date

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

cook dinner at my place
Inviting a woman over for dinner is a great date… if you use it right. Get the timing right, get the positioning right, and you have an easy way to close with consistency.

Over the years, I've always found the "let's cook dinner at my place" date a great one for bedding new, delightful women.

Used right, it gets a girl over to your place, alone, doing something constructive and romantic with you... and its gets you in motion around your place together, which gives you lots of opportunities to 'corner her' and kiss, touch, and much more.

However, as excellent as this date is, I've noticed a lot of guys get this date wrong, in a variety of ways. So, for today's Tactics Tuesdays, we're going to look at the most effective ways to make the 'dinner at home' date work extremely well for you.

How to Be Popular: 9 Tips (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

If there is anything you PROBABLY want to learn on this site besides how to get laid and get a girlfriend, it’s this – how to become popular.

Everyone wants it.

I wanted it. I still want it.

But without a good strategy, you will probably fail. Popularity doesn’t just “happen.”

Like wealth or skill, social status must be earned by YOU.

And it takes WORK.

How do you talk to people in a way that makes them like being around you so they will continue to want to be around you? How do you behave, connect, and rise in the ranks? It’s all very complex.

And yet, very simple.

For you, watching this video, it will be simple. I break down 9 ways for you to become popular. In my opinion, these are the fundamentals of becoming popular in ANY circle.

They work ANYWHERE with ANY group of people.

Low class. High class. Snobby. Humble. Hipster. Gym fiends. Aristocrats. Assholes.

Only the flavor and difficulty changes.

Fundamentally, it’s all the same.

So here you go.