Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

How to Pick Up Girls on Christmas

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick up girls christmas
It’s Christmastime. But what if you’re alone? In that case, it’s also a prime time to find a new girl to cozy up to for the holidays.

It’s Yuletide. Christmastime.

Christmastime is also the time of the Wild Hunt, an ancient European tradition that predates the birth of Christ. And if you’re single and not otherwise with family this year, Christmas is the perfect time for a wild hunt of your own.

Last year, Alek wrote a piece on why winter is a tougher time to meet girls. It’s a great piece, and it’s a phenomenon I’ve seen with plenty of guys. Most guys are a lot more motivated to go out during summer... a motivation that all but dries up during winter. There are fewer women out during the winter, it’s colder, and many people settle into seasonal relationships (which they may or may not abandon when spring returns). Seasonal affective disorder kicks in. Lots of people just get, well, depressed during wintertime.

Nevertheless, personally, winter’s always been my very favorite time to meet girls. I love it. And there are some very specific reasons why I love it:

  1. If she’s out, she’s motivated.There’s a certain level of self-selection that comes about during the winter. People go out just to party and have fun and enjoy the good weather when it’s warm out. These people who just want to have fun tend to stay home a lot more as the weather gets worse. For practical purposes, that means any given girl who’s out is a lot more likely to be looking to hook up during winter than summer, and is not out just to party. Her motivation is far more primal, and her drive to brave bad weather and chance an empty venue much stronger than her more contented, less motivated peers.

  2. The vibe is more conversational. Another reason why I love winter is because everyone is in a more subdued mood. No one’s partying hard and getting crazy. That makes it much easier for me to run my preferred approach, with lots of deep dives and chase frames. Girls have less time for conversation when it’s warm out and there’s energy in the air – they just want to party, and their attention spans are shorter. During winter, their attention spans are more focused and they’re more down for a good chat.

  3. She gives you more leeway. A third reason I like winter best of all is the ever-present desire to pair up for winter. If she’s single when it’s cold out, she probably doesn’t want to be single. That makes her more motivated to do things that may lead to her not being single – like giving a man who approaches her more of a shot, and being more willing to take a chance with him. In practical terms, this means you get more leeway with women during the winter. I’ve noticed in general I can screw up with girls much more during the winter (like: slip onto a boring topic, or be a little too aggressive, or not have any time to meet up with her for a first date) and still take them to bed. Whereas if I make the same mistakes when it’s warm outside, a girl’s more likely to get ghost. I’m not sure if this is because of the longer attention span / fewer distractions / less male competition the winter offers, or if it’s because girls are less content being single during winter... I suspect it’s a combination.

That’s just winter in general.

Yet here’s the important part for this post: I have noticed, having gone out on Christmas on several occasions, that on and around Christmas day, it’s like wintertime in general on steroids.

For this reason, Christmas, in my opinion, is one of the best times of the year to find a new girl... and unwrap her present.

What Do You Do If You're Caught Lying

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

caught lying
Not that you should lie. But if you do lie, you’d better be able to handle it when you get caught.

“I’m going to visit a friend of mine one of the days I’m here,” I say to her.

“Oh? Which friend is that?”

“My programmer buddy; we met last time I was in the city.”

“Okay, when are you going to see him?”

I tell her that I’ll be meeting him later in the evening for a beer.

Except I’m not meeting with my programmer friend that day (yes, there is a programmer friend, and I did plan on meeting up with him, too. Just not that day).

My plan is to meet another girl. I met my girlfriend first, but I spent much more time with the other girl before my gal and I eventually saw each other and slept together. This other chick had a boyfriend at the time, and even though we didn’t sleep together – and we still haven’t – she is one of those girls that I’m perfectly content spending time with, even if sex isn’t involved.

Oh, and she has the same name as my girlfriend. Poetic, right?

I explained my plans because the express reason for my visit is to see my gal before I move to a new city. Also because I care about her. I just didn’t see the need to tell her that I was going to see another woman.

A few hours pass by, my girlfriend and I walk around a mall together, grab coffee, and work on some projects. Then, as we’re eating lunch, she asks me again about the friend I’m supposed to meet that night. As she asks, I see her eyes narrow and her focus intensify.

In that moment, I realize she’s caught me. I have an obsessive dedication to the truth, even when it hurts, so I freeze as the moral equations continue from when I earlier decided to not tell her the whole truth.

Of course, if you’re trying to get away with a lie, freezing up is the worst thing you can do.

Tactics Tuesdays: Provisional Commitment as a Dating Tactic

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

provisional commitment
How do you get a girl who’s resisting you to comply with your request? Provisional commitment: “I’ll give you X if condition Y.”

In Donald Trump’s master class on deal making, The Art of the Deal, Trump often mentions his use of provisional commitments as he assembles deals. For example, he may agree to purchase a given piece of real estate, contingent on him getting regulatory approval for what he wants to build there, being able to purchase an extended lease for the property the real estate sits on, etc. That means that if he can get these things, he gets the deal. If he can’t, the deal is off, and he doesn’t lose anything, or loses very little.

You might think this is just something you’d use in business and legal situations. “My client is willing to testify, contingent upon him receiving...” etc.

Yet the provisional commitment has a slew of uses in the romantic and social arenas as well – assuming you’re not afraid to negotiate with the women you’d like to bed.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

hard target dating
In Part I of the series, we look at the hard target dater: the man who can’t be suckered by friend-seekers, flirts, diggers, or climbers.

In the excellent self-defense book Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term ‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers. If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.

This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?

In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine are:

  1. Dating: when you first meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)

  2. Relationships: once you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with her (next article)

  3. Social Life: non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances, people with connections (third article)

We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.

5 Men’s Winter Outfits that Turn Girls’ Heads

Darius Bright's picture

By: Darius Bright

mens winter outfits
5 outfits to wear this winter that make women drool: Elegant – Edgy, Edgy, Smart – Casual, Rugged – Masculine, and Sharp.

I know dressing sexy in colder seasons is tricky, so last year I shared with you “Men’s Cold Weather Fashion: The A-to-Z Guide” to help you be your best, most attractive selves during these colder months – after all, the nights are getting longer too ;). That guide still stands the test of time, so this year I want to cover some specific examples of great looking outfits you could be pulling off.

In this article, we’ll have 5 different outfits for 5 different image archetypes: Elegant – Edgy, Edgy, Smart – Casual, Rugged – Masculine, and Sharp.

(Don’t worry – for each outfit, I’ll explain what situations would suit it best)

Because we have readers from all around the world, and winter in Germany will look a lot different from Canada or California... when building these outfits, I tried to focus around the middle ground, with reasonable, moderate winters. If you’d like to find more tips on how you can tailor these looks to better suit the winter where you live, check out the Winter’s A-to-Z guide mentioned earlier.

Because this article is going to be kind of long-ish, let’s just get straight to the outfits!

Why Venues Go Stale (Plus: How to Still Meet Girls There)

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

stale venue
Why do cities and venues grow stale? It gets harder to meet new women as you settle into a place because of changes in how you approach them.

In the comment section of my article on beating learned helplessness, a reader writes:

“While I have long ago achieved general abundance with women in my country, the women I really want seem still elusive. I breath action in and out, I take risks like no one in my circle, I truly believe it is my responsibility to materialise my goals, and yet my dream women seem to remain out of reach.

To do something about it, I traveled abroad to Poland last week (I will write a detailed FR in the forum with my conclusions).

With only 12 approaches in 3 days, I almost had sex with a 19-year old model-type brunette whom I approached under broad daylight in a shopping mall. The girl was extremely close to my dream girl.

Why do you think I didn’t get that close to my goals in my own city, but went so close with only 3 days abroad, in Eastern Europe? Is it some kind of placebo effect or are there real obstacles, in your opinion? If the obstacles are real, how can I overcome them?”

His comment called to mind a phenomenon I’ve often noticed, and seen in other men I know as well: that after a while, places like cities and venues turn stale.

Stale as hunting grounds for new mates. Stale as places to meet girls.

You’ve doubtless seen this yourself. That new bar you discovered that you were excited to go to... But now, after months or years of going there, the excitement has worn off and it’s just some joint.

Or that new city you got to, that was so fresh and full of beautiful women and new conquests when you arrived. Now it seems like the women just keep getting fatter, older, and uglier, and all the hot girls have gone. I call this ‘old city blinders’.

The good news is, if you’ve noticed this, you’re not the only one it happens to. It’s common.

And the better news is, there’s a way around it. For the most part, anyway.

Poll: Ask Me Your Questions on Picking Date Spots

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

Girls Chase poll
She wants to know where you plan to take her on a date.

If you're subscribed to the Girls Chase Newsletter (and if not, why aren't you? You're missing half of my content!), you've been receiving my free 7-day mini course - you should've received Day 6 of 7 this week. We had a little trouble getting all the emails out to everyone, so if you missed some of them, make sure you've:

  • Whitelisted my sender name and address (Chase Amante from newsletter@girlschase.com)

  • Moved any emails from your promotions box / spam / wherever into the inbox (so your email algorithm knows that's where email from me is supposed to go!)

  • Clicked on the yellow "IMPORTANT" tag next to my name in your inbox if you're in Gmail (again, tells the algorithm "don't hide this email from me!")

I'll send out the final email (for Day 7) starting this weekend, with the last video from me, on Reward Theory, and will include links to each of the previous days in case you missed them.

In the meantime, I want to add one final piece to this mini course - a podcast by me where I answer all of YOUR questions on selecting date locations.

Book Review: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

Way of the Superior Man
David Deida’s Way of the Superior Man helps men make their peace with the feminine – and truly understand how men and women fit together.

I finished David Deida’s book, The Way of the Superior Man, in about two hours on a United States flight from the east coast to Seattle. It’s a very fast, easy read. And it’s one of the most powerful and influential books I’ve read recently on how to tap into masculine energy and become a penetrative force in our world today.

David has committed his life to teaching and revolutionizing the way men and women grow sexually and spiritually. He teaches unique multi-day workshops on spiritual growth and sacred intimacy. He is known worldwide for his many writings, videos, and audios on a fully-integrated approach to spirituality. His works and workshops are committed to raising an understanding of our human condition through transformative practices and ideas. David addresses spiritual awakening of mind, body, and heart.

Below, I delve into some takeaways from David’s book that I found useful. There are a total of 51 chapters across eight parts – most as short as two pages. Each of these covers an area of the masculine – as opposed to feminine – that can help us grow as men.

Tactics Tuesdays: Giving Gifts and Offering Compliance

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

giving gifts
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

“When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet”

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

A Few Cautionary Notes about Dating Religious Girls

Davi Diluna's picture

By: Davi Diluna

dating religious girls
Should you date a religious girl? While you burn with passion, “How do I get to sex?” may be all on your mind. Yet there’s more at stake here – for you and her.

This article isn’t going to discuss the “how-to” part of dating religious girls, which Colt has already covered in a separate article. In this article, we’re going to discuss the outcomes of those sorts of relationships (religious girl with non-religious man) and some things to consider when pursuing them. I’m going to use Muslim girls as our example for this article, since here in Western Europe they’re the most devout women you will encounter, and you will face your greatest challenges and risks to both your and her characters and futures dealing with such deep convictions and whether and how to deal with them.

It’s easy to find yourself dating a religious girl and get into that one-track mind: “How do I get this girl into bed?” We see plenty of guys comment on Girls Chase asking this question. What I aim to address here is not the “how” part, but the “what happens if you do” part. Because in your rush to bed such a girl, you can have some pretty big ripple effects – both on her life, identity, and family relationships, and on how you ultimately see yourself and the trajectory your life is on.

Religious differences are a potential source of major arguments that can lead to breakups; or, to the reverse, of finding yourself on a one-way trip to wedding bells, even if all you intended at the outset was a quick fling. Therefore, if you before you engage in a relationship with a religious (especially Muslim!) girl, you should know the likely outcomes beforehand.

Mixing a religious girl with a non-religious man can be a dangerous route to take, especially for the girl, so as a man who is learning about relationships and who is willing to be the leader, your duty includes taking care of the consequences of your actions... So it is a good idea to be informed.