When Girls Think You're a Player (Then Shut You Down)

If a girl thinks you’re a player, it can be a pretty uphill battle with her after that. Here’s why she thinks you’re a player – plus how to remove the ‘tells’.

I counseled a friend recently who's struggled with women for sometime. He's a bit of a 'hard case' - a guy who's been in the game a long time, is friends with many very skilled seducers, and is highly skilled at the early part of approaching and meeting women, and even good at getting girls back to his place... but he has lots and lots of trouble sealing the deal with women. After the first kiss at his place, they invariably leave.

Guys like this can be tough to work with, because things that work for almost everyone else stubbornly don't for them. And you run into the issue of the guy not knowing exactly what's wrong himself, and it being hard to diagnose if you don't spend a lot of time with him in-person.

However, one clue recently was his report on a date that didn't pan out. Early on into the date, the girl closed off a bit and made remarks such as "How fast do you usually have sex with the women you have sex with?" and "I'm someone who doesn't just hop in bed right away." This, mind you, was not when he was trying to take her home, or touching her, or hitting on her - this was early into the date, when they'd just arrived at the date location and just began to talk.

This friend gets comments like from other women too; sometimes on dates, sometimes back at his place.

And while it is common to get girls telling you things like "This is too fast for me" or "Do you always move this fast with girls?" once you're back at your place with them, peeling their clothes off, the farther removed you get from that while still receiving these comments, the more of a problem you know you have.

In this case, the problem is the 'player vibe problem'. The problem is she feels like you are a heartless player, and she is only the latest slab of meat to cross your path.

Obviously, for successful seduction purposes, this is one perception you'd like to dispel.