Tactics Tuesdays: Getting Free of Local Dating Norms | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Getting Free of Local Dating Norms

Chase Amante

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dating norms
Every group or society has norms it expects members to follow. These norms extend to dating and romance as well. But what if you aren't from the same norm group?

I've done quite a bit of travel and lived in a variety of places, all very different from each other, with people who were all quite different too. Everywhere I have gone, I have encountered many men who told me the women in whatever city or country I was in were 'traditional' and 'hard to get anywhere with'. Often I would have men telling me this after I had already quickly slept with several normal, local women, with normal dating histories (not wild party girls, sluts, or 'exceptions to the rule'). I never want to rub it in a guy's face, so usually I will just say "Well, the girls here seem pretty normal and not too uptight to me."

I am not the only guy this happens to. Everywhere I've lived or traveled for any good amount of time, for every 10 guys I meet who tell me the women there are 'difficult' or 'traditional', I'll meet at least one man who tells me the women there are unbelievably easy. Often these guys sleep with multiple new women a week, oblivious to the guys who spend months or years without girlfriends or lays.

I could spend 10 posts unpacking the differences between the 'girls here are hard to get' guys and the 'girls here are so easy' guys... and in many ways, this website is devoted to just this mission.

Today though, I want to talk about one specific wrinkle of the successful guys' success: playing dumb on dating norms.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



jensen's picture

That one page you linked in the article surprised me. Don't liberal women nowadays view anyone who supports trump as sexist? Why would you sleep with someone who you think hates your gender? Here is one quote.

"He was ill-informed, sexist, and loved to start arguments with me.But once again the thrill of the election and the friction of our differences made the passion so much more palpable in bed. So I pushed aside his ingrained bigotry and instead let it wash over me, filling me with a desire to prove him wrong—or maybe to just be on top of him."

I wonder how many male feminists this would piss off because weirdly enough I almost became one before I found this site. I would have been very perplexed by this article years ago. I was liberal and voted for hillary in 2016 but now am an independent who leans republican.since the democratic side is becoming more and more strange and toxic. The party left me. Lots of hate and anxiety on that side and me becoming a white man from a teen I know I will be a scapegoat for everything on their side and their false victimhoods.

I will repeat again that I am surprised cause some people go crazy when they see a hat. Some north kroean defectors who came to the US were wearing MAGA hats cause they wanted to support trump who was making good progress with NK and the situation helped them get out. They are then harassed and their stuff is thrown on the ground by some crazy people. Crazy vid.


There are a few other incidents too in the vid where people feel it is okay to harass you if you are wearing a hat. That is why that article surprised me.

I am also seeing a link with the boyfriend/lover dynamic in this situation involving trump voters and feminist women. They only see you as valuable for sex and not relationship material so are more open to sleeping with you. Wonder if when you find a beautiful feminist(if those exist lol) you could somehow convince her that you aren't bad for voting for trump and she wouldn;t feel bad being a realtionship with you? Hell even convert her to your side for more stability in a take it or leave it way?

Wonder what your thoughts on this are Chase?

Jimbo's picture

"Don't liberal women nowadays view anyone who supports trump as sexist? Why would you sleep with someone who you think hates your gender?"

Because bad boys are hot! And to a liberal woman, a Trump supporter is definitely one, especially with the increased political polarization and demonization of recent years. That's also why they find foreign men, foreign accents, men of a different age/generation, and anyone who lives by alien norms, looks, and ways to be sexy. As Chase said in one of the articles (the one about beards, I think), being a foreigner in a country already grants you more "badass" points. It arouses a certain thrill in her, and in people in general, which then turns into sexual arousal. And being a (supposedly sexist) political opponent is just part of that.

Chase Amante's picture


You know what they say... hate is closer to love than indifference is.

I've had a few right-wing buddies who made a habit of shagging hard-left feminist chicks. One buddy had an extremely leftist bisexual feminist girl he was sleeping with tell him her secret fantasy was for the man to dress up as Hitler and whip her or something. There is a taboo element to sleeping with the enemy that makes this very exciting.

Jimbo raises the very perceptive point too that a guy being on the opposite, masculine side of the political spectrum from a woman "rules him out" as a boyfriend. While at the same time making him sexier. We have whole bunch of articles and techniques to help you do that on this site... yet with politics, it's just happening automatically.

The targeting and harassment of Trump supporters, men in MAGA hats, etc., is another reason why these men are very attractive to women. Peacocking is an important attraction switch, and the way it works is by showing off costly ornamentation, which signals the strength of the wearer. If you can wear something risky, and do so with pride, that's very hot to women. Even guys dressed in strange clothes, who carry themselves with confidence and can control the frame and pass tests, get heavy attraction point bonuses. MAGA hats / right wing politics work that way right now; they're risky statements, that can get you banned from the Internet, fired from work, cost you your bank account, loses you Facebook friends, or get you physically assaulted... and if a guy goes around displaying that confidently, that's about as DGAF as you can get in 2019 American society. Stuff that would've signaled you DGAF five years has all gone mainstream; the most reliable way to signal "DGAF" today is right wing politics.


Jimbo's picture

You know, Chase, it's interesting that you referred to the right side of the political spectrum as the masculine one. Because I've always myself thought of the Right as the "Daddy" of politics and the Left as the Mom. Meaning, the Right worries mostly about survival and continuity of civilization: defense, border, the founding/dominant stock and core of the nation, pro-business and maintaining the capitalistic engine that creates the wealth and the abundance, moral foundations, law and order, etc; whereas the Left takes some of that wealth Daddy brought home and spreads it around here and there to those it deems needy of it, worries about the homeless, education, employees, trees, animals, people not being equal, and all those nice things.

So yeah, your adjective does reaffirm what I've always noticed myself; namely that the two sides are expressions of the masculine and feminine aspects and impulses in a population.

jensen's picture

Hey Chase,

I got an unrelated question today but have  you ever heard of 'mewing'? It i pretty much means correct tongue placement  where you not only the tip and mid portion of your tongue on the roof of your mouth but the whole back and it fucking hard to do. It supporsed to somehow make you a little better looking but I wonder if is just some psuedo science. Just something to check out if you ever get bored.

Jensen's picture

Just going to put two good threads up that I found last night while finding out what this is. You can make mistakes with this and I wouldn't want anyone to try this and have something happen later.


Great comment in below thread aboout how after your tongue gets stronger(because you kinda have to force it at first if you want your tongue to reach back of mouth) it should feel not forced but like a suction and relaxed.



Chase Amante's picture


I had not heard of this before. Just browsed through those two threads. It sounds like this is an exercise that is supposed to have some kind of reshaping effect on the face?

I don't know if the effect they're trying to achieve is indeed something achieved through tougher chewing throughout childhood (I also don't know if it would actually lead to a more physically attractive appearance if whatever this is said to do works).

One thing I do know heavy chewing in childhood leads to is the development of a sagittal keel. The jaw muscles loop around the head and attach at the top of the skull; if these muscles bulk up enough, they prompt a thickening of the bone / the formation of a bony crest on the top of the skull. That is definitely a real thing, and it is possible for humans to have that if they had a chewing-intensive diet as children.

That said... my understanding of bone development is if it doesn't happen when you're young and your skeleton is still cartilagenous and much more malleable, it is probably not going to happen as an adult.

The amount of force you would need to rehape the bones in the face, too... I find it unlikely a tongue suction exercise will do this. If it's possible to do as an adult, you'd probably need to start eating much tougher, chewier food, or perhaps just chew chewing gum all day long every day (which may well be good for you... both the Wrigley brothers were centenarians).

My verdict, without looking into it more extensively, is "probably pseudoscience", though maybe with a legitimate core of "children who have tough, chewy diets develop different facial bone structure as adults than children with softer, less chewy diets."


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