Sow Your Wild Oats! College Wasn’t Your Only Chance | Girls Chase

Sow Your Wild Oats! College Wasn’t Your Only Chance

Chase Amante

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sow your wild oats
College is touted as THE place to sow your wild oats, so guys who didn’t get it done then feel they missed out forever. But nothing could be further from the truth!

I wrote an April Fools’ Day article this year that focused on college – a “what if” theme meant to be satirical but has its roots in peoples’ desires to relive the college experience. We often get posters on the boards (and ironically, across many different forums on other social skills websites, too) who lament about not having a proper college experience that is dream-like à la the movies.

This could include being part of a fraternity, being able to day drink constantly while being one of the most popular kids in school and always having access to hot girls with little to no effort. The focus is being part of a social group and a “brotherhood” dedicated to having some wild experiences. While it’s true that college is a truly liberating time in life, I firmly believe that a lack of experience in college doesn’t hinder your successes later in life.

What was shocking to me is how many people took that article seriously, then really pondered what it would be like to relive college and do it all over again. Thinking about it more myself, I realized a greater thought – that every single guy needs to get their “wild side” out of their system sometime in their life. In other words, every guy needs to sow his wild oats. Guys that don’t do this seem to think they’ve somehow missed out on life, and thus hold a lot of regrets about where they were and what they have to do to recover.

However, this isn’t meant to be anything that advocates being a victim. You might not realize it, but it’s never too late to start doing something – anything – as long as you’re still alive and physically healthy, breathing, and capable. As we’ll see, it’s never too late for a guy to sow his wild oats.

Varoon RajahAbout the Author: Varoon Rajah

A New York City native, Varoon’s studied under many of the seduction industry’s leading instructors. His specialty is direct day game, where he meets girls on the street, on the subway, and in coffee shops. Varoon is the host for the Girls Chase Podcast, available on iTunes or via SoundCloud.

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Comments

Ben's picture

Not gonna lie I was one of those people who fell for the april fools joke xD. I had a pretty tame college experience. I went to a 4 yr commuter school in my city. It was the most accessible thing for me to do. I just went for classes I met some people,but didnt solidify many strong friendships if any. Going to a private school or dorming in a state school wasnt ever a possibility because of my lack of support from my parents. I dont regret going to my school because it was the safest choice for me,but I read what a guy like hector did in his book and I think man his college life sounded like fun. So many hot girls around and you can just bring them to your dorm and fuck them. All you need is basic social skills. But I look at someone like chase who didnt have that kind of college experience and he learned to do well with women. I just havent built enough positive life experiences and I lack the belief to improve upon myself. Everytime I want to approach a woman or leave my house to do it, I just dont get it done. I always anticipate failure and defeat. I don't want to practice pickup and dont like doing it because of the difficulty ,but at the same time I want women and hate my life as it stands. I hope I change before it's too late

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Everytime I want to approach a woman or leave my house to do it, I just dont get it done. I always anticipate failure and defeat. I don't want to practice pickup and dont like doing it because of the difficulty ,but at the same time I want women and hate my life as it stands. I hope I change before it's too late

It's never too late to start - to me "starting" is kind of like going to the gym for the first time - it's very painful and difficult at first, but the most important thing is STARTING and just making "going to the gym" a habit. That in and of itself gains enough momentum to push forward and learn/get better.

So in your case, all you need to do is commit to starting, and you should be golden on the path forward as long as you stay committed.

For me, that daily habit has been "I will approach 5 women every single day" which I made as a rule and now follow religiously 5 times a week at least. But for you, that can just be "I will approach one woman every single day" even if it's to say "Hello," at least to start.

VR

Risenin2019's picture

While I think that getting laid is a part of it, there is more to "sowing your wild oats" than just that. You made great points when you compare societies but from what I have seen, guys who "missed out" on college are not really bitter due to not getting enough sex (though that is definitely a part of it), they are more angered by not being a part of that crowd or enjoying the things they enjoyed like partying, drinking, going on cool vacations together, and then being a part of friend groups which had hot girls in them.

I experienced this once when I went on a vacation with a tour group, had some cool guys and some hot girls (some of them sorority girls from Arizona St) in it. We experienced nice spots and going out together for a month, it was truly something that took me away compared to just one night stands.

You made some great points with times changing but you completely missed the big picture by saying it is all about sex.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Risenin - Fair point on that note, and I'm just sharing my own examples as well as this being a website focused on dating and women. That being said, you're 100% right that sometimes it's about having cool parties, friends, drinking, and going on vacations together - and then being part of friends groups which had hot girls.

But, like your story about your tour group - that's exactly what I mean. It's really never too late - you can always find these groups and people, and have those experiences, if you just look out for them, and every guy should make it a point to do these things if he feels like he missed out on something.

One day in the future I still want to go live for several months in Asia and be a tour guide of some kind - it's not applicable to my life right now, but it's a "missing component" that I'd like to have handled sometime in the future.

That being said, when guys in college "sow wild oats" by joining frats and things, it's really not about the friends they make - 95% of them do it because they want to get laid, and to college students the best path is typically to be in a cool group and get girls drunk at parties.

VR

Risenin2019's picture

I think that the correlation between a great social life/status and success with top tier women in general is very strong, it's like social proof on a bigger scale. I'd hate to be the lonely seducer with no friends but just sex from women to prove his worth. It has been posted about on this site but there is something special and powerful about having a lot of social connections and people willing to vouch for you, both in game/seduction and outside of it. 

It is not even the fact that it can get you ahead in life or get you attractive women, it just feels better belonging to a group, deeply embedded into our human nature.

As for a note on my trip, I did it in my college days when things were not working out, most people were still in that early 20s age range. It is not easy to find this sort of thing as you get older and even if you do, you'll feel out of place being surrounded by younger people.

The other thing to note is that your Asian tour dreams might be great but they come at a cost to your career. In college, you could do these sorts of things while just being there.

I think it would be great with all that Chase and the team have written about that we mention more about these groups and experiences you can have because they are not always the easiest to come across.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

I think that the correlation between a great social life/status and success with top tier women in general is very strong, it's like social proof on a bigger scale. I'd hate to be the lonely seducer with no friends but just sex from women to prove his worth. It has been posted about on this site but there is something special and powerful about having a lot of social connections and people willing to vouch for you, both in game/seduction and outside of it. 

It is not even the fact that it can get you ahead in life or get you attractive women, it just feels better belonging to a group, deeply embedded into our human nature.

Sure, and there's nothing wrong with doing what you're saying - it's just not easy. Creating this kind of "high status" social circle is first of all very difficult to create, and secondly also very difficult to maintain - unless it's the offshoot of some other talent (say you're a famous Rockstar or a famous DJ, or you are Poker extraordinaire Dan Bilzarian and can afford to throw expensive parties and invite hot girls from your winnings).

So, I'll say you're definitely not incorrect - but the reason that so few people even pursue or achieve success in that path is because of how difficult it is. Even in college - the frat bros get in during rush, but then they've got a limited window of four years before it's all over and they're back to being "normal" and can start it all over again.

By and large, people that pursue that still do it for one main reason - and that is pussy. The other reason is usually money, but if it comes down to high value social circles, people do it to get the girls, not for much more than that.

The GC and seducer's path is a little different. We're showing here that GOOD GAME and ATTRACTIVENESS is a hack that can net the same result without the effort of building and maintaining that social circle and lifestyle.

But, if you have both.... then that's Lady Killer status

As for a note on my trip, I did it in my college days when things were not working out, most people were still in that early 20s age range. It is not easy to find this sort of thing as you get older and even if you do, you'll feel out of place being surrounded by younger people.

I think that people care less and less about their image as they grow older, at least what I've seen from true Alpha males who are in their 30's and 40's. They couldn't give a flying fuck if they feel out of place surrounded by younger people. In this case it's usually only feeling "out of place" around the boys, too - plenty of young girls love older guys, especially the older guys who practice sexual prizing.

 

The other thing to note is that your Asian tour dreams might be great but they come at a cost to your career. In college, you could do these sorts of things while just being there.

I think it would be great with all that Chase and the team have written about that we mention more about these groups and experiences you can have because they are not always the easiest to come across.

Well, not exactly - you can't just leave for Asia "while just being in college" unless you take a semester off or something. In which case, you're still effectively doing the same thing, which is putting school on pause instead of work and stalling your degree. So, you can't do your Asia tour "while just being there" in college. You'll still have to find a way to earn money and pay the bills if you're abroad.

For study abroad you can still have school while being abroad - but then, a guy can also work abroad on assignments and achieve the same thing.

Read these articles too:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-and-where-move-overseas-single-man
https://www.girlschase.com/content/top-7-easiest-ways-get-laid-raise-you...
https://www.girlschase.com/content/when-do-you-get-old-party-or-meet-girls

VR

Risenin2019's picture

I hate this idea that getting laid will somehow mysteriously solve the problem, it is a bandaid at best to the damage that was done if even that. Your typical dude who missed out on the "college experience" did not just miss out on the sex with randoms, he missed out on the opportunity to:

  • Have cool friends
  • Enjoy great parties and experiences with said cool friends
  • Have hot girls join in on those experiences him and his friends are having
  • Feel like you are a part of something other than a loner seducer

I hate to say it but being a seducer does not have a high ceiling when it comes to getting the hottest girls who WILL value social status. 

The fact that people care less pisses off the guys that missed out, it is that feeling that now it barely matters which hurts them because now when these guys are at their peak or starting to peak, they want it to matter. This is the reason coastal cities are flooded with shallow narcissitic people, because some guys missed out and they want the popularity contests to continue well past college. Image will ALWAYS matter, it might not be what frat you are in but it will be what job you have and other things.

I think your heart was in the right place but the truth of the matter is that you kind of missed the mark. To say image, status, and none of that matter and "seduction" and PUA style crap can do the trick is insanity and bad advice, for the top tier girls these things will always matter and PUA creep will always lose to high status guy.

Back to the discussion of sowing wild oats, you missed the point almost entirely, it isn't about the pussy and sex on their own. These guys, me being one of them, want to be social kings and want their spot in the limelight after being robbed of that very thing in college.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Your typical dude who missed out on the "college experience" did not just miss out on the sex with randoms, he missed out on the opportunity to:

  • Have cool friends
  • Enjoy great parties and experiences with said cool friends
  • Have hot girls join in on those experiences him and his friends are having
  • Feel like you are a part of something other than a loner seducer

There is nothing in the textbook that is life that says you cannot have ANY of these things after college. Which is where you are wrong. You totally can get ALL of those things after college.

There are countless examples of people doing this after college.

To say image, status, and none of that matter and "seduction" and PUA style crap can do the trick is insanity and bad advice, for the top tier girls these things will always matter and PUA creep will always lose to high status guy.

Simply not true - if it was, then half the writers on GC would not have a writing, coaching, or seduction career. If you're playing on the provider front, then sure, status matters a lot - which is why we teach guys to play the lover angle, because that trumps status and provider games every single time.

These guys, me being one of them, want to be social kings and want their spot in the limelight after being robbed of that very thing in college.

I wish you luck - unfortunately you're definitely not going to get it if you continue to believe what you wrote and have such a negative mindset about achieving it after college.

VR

SZ's picture

I wanted to know how your friend slept with more than 90 girls in a year.

Like how did he have time to work and do that?

I'm trying to do something like that so I don't have to worry about getting with many women anymore and I can just cool out and get laid more calmly.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey SZ,

I realized in reading this that it was actually a typo - my guess was actually that he slept with more than 90 girls since he got divorced - so actually over FOUR years, rather than a year. That being said, he laughed and said it was way more than 90, so I actually wouldn't be surprised if he hit 90 or close to that in a year, if not more.

My mentor used exclusively online game (and now Apps as well) and targeted girls who were in the 6-8 range. Since he was in his late 30s and established, he basically targeted all women younger than him (anywhere between ages 18-39 or so) and browsed a variety of online dating sites. He worked out a system of texting them and sexualizing the online convo, and often times would invite them straight to his house to bang, or go on a fast 30min date before inviting them home. Sometimes he also double and triple booked girls - if one flaked for some reason, he'd just schedule another one instantly. HIs vibe was very Alpha, and the fact that he was getting laid constantly also made him extremely outcome independent with these girls - if he didn't like one, he'd remove her with no qualms and get another one to replace her quickly. I definitely think online dating worked well for him, because he'd just spend thirty minutes a day after work finding and messaging new leads.

Pretty much his entire life revolved around going to work and banging girls 6 nights a week outside of his 40 hour work week - he'd keep 3-4 girls in rotation and would try out 2-3 new women every week, and only one night a week was reserved for family. He didn't maintain a social life with male friends - all his friends were women he was dating or already slept with before.

So, it's definitely possible once you learn how to do it.

VR

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