Wouldn’t it be great if your partner behaved more to your liking? The Pygmalion Effect shows us how to shape the behavior of others in a subtle-yet-profound way.
This week, I’m taking a break from writing about polyamory. Reading my other articles is not a prerequisite to understanding anything in this one.
Though this article isn’t part of my Polyamory series, I’m writing it because I realized some people may be confused by what I wrote in my second article in the series, particularly about finding women with certain qualities. I want to clear up some misconceptions while giving you guys some tools to up your game even more.
Contents
1. The Evolution of Human Altruism
3. Installing Positive Attitudes and Behavior
4. Extinguishing Negative Attitudes and Behavior
What I failed to emphasize in that article was that I’m not just looking for women who already possess certain qualities. Sometimes, I’m also using real, psychological principles to shape their attitudes and behaviors to be more aligned with those qualities. In fact, none of the women I am currently dating identified as polyamorous before meeting me.
Essentially, I converted them, changing their attitudes little by little. In other words, if you want to be polyamorous, you’re not necessarily limited to a small dating pool of women who already identify as polyamorous or possess the qualities I told you to screen for. To an extent, you can “install” those qualities into beautiful women you’re already attracted to.
Many people will read my second Polyamory article and say “Those kinds of women are so rare! It would be so difficult to find those kinds of women in abundance – especially hot ones!” Well, think again. Many of you guys might bemoan that so many hot women you’ve met are selfish, inconsiderate, or otherwise the opposite of what you value in a partner’s personality, but this is just another obstacle you can overcome with the tools I’m about to hand you.
Comments
Consider Doing an Article in Attachment Styles
You mentioned attachment styles in your article, but I’m wondering if there’s any others on this site? It is a paramount concept that alot people don’t know about. I used to be avoidant, due to past abuse and I just had an unconscious fear of intimacy and vulnerability. It took a lot of inner work and exposure therapy for me to develop the confidence to just be more open and warm and certain of what I want, and give less of a fuck about rejection. I’ve become warm and accepting of others and more encouraging, and I find it’s so much more easier to connect than it was before when I was aloof and more cold and distant. Also I noticed a pattern with my exes. They all more or less behaved as the anxious attachment type with me...I don’t know if that was their natural predisposition, or if it was my avoidant style that induced it in them. Unfortunately, they’re all disgruntled. And it hurts me to look back on it, but it wasn’t something I could control. They don’t seem to get that.
It could be worthwhile to your readership to do an article on attachment styles and how their interactions might make or break a relationship. Like I know for sure putting an avoidant (me) with an anxious (exes) leads to drama, neuroticism, sometimes abuse (verbal and even physical when they get upset enough) and a toxic relationship.
Better late than never
I know there is practically zero chance for you to see this, seeing as your comment was from 2018 and I am now replying in 2024... but I just released a new book that addresses exactly this topic on attachment styles in one of the chapters. If you ever see this, check it out: https://neverlonelybook.com/print
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