Should You Ever Date a Girl with Baggage? The SMV Discussion | Girls Chase

Should You Ever Date a Girl with Baggage? The SMV Discussion

Chase Amante

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girl with baggage
Every girl has baggage. But should you date one with a lot of baggage... And how do you deal with baggage a girlfriend brings into your relationships?

Commenting on my article about starting a relationship with a new girlfriend, a reader named Arik writes:

Hi Chase,

I’ve been gaming for a while and defintively gotten amazing things from it in all areas of my life. I met a girl that I really like and would like to move foward with her. She has had a bad experience with getting cheated on and feels scared of going through that again.I met her through cold approach. She is scared of me doing this all the time. If she were to find out that I do and flirt with girls boldy like that daily, it will definitively hurt her bad. I dont want stuff like that in my conciense I already talked to her about my intentions with her and pretty much following your points. Nothing official yet but clearly the ‘we can see other people until then’ wont fly well. At the same time, I know that if I stop approaching and doing game, just like with he gym, my gains will be gone and that will drive her away. I’ve seen it so many times happen to others. I am not sure how to handle this, since this is the first girl I want to push things with from game. All this time I’ve been focused on getting good and refusing to settle with girls I met. You talked briefly on ideas of how to handle this, but If you could elaborate further, I would greatly appreciate it .


First, a few notes directly to Arik’s situation. If a girl is adamant that you don’t approach other women, and you assure her you won’t, you’ve made a choice. You could lie and do it anyway... whether you are comfortable with that or want to deal with the fallout from it is a personal decision. That said, you can still flirt with women in your day-to-day life, sans cold approach... that will maintain some degree of abundance (albeit not to the level that taking things farther along with women will).

That said, what we’ll focus on in this article is not the question of Arik’s comment but rather one that occurs to me based on the situation he details. It’s that of ‘women with baggage’ – for example, this girl who’s been cheated on... and fears a repeat. Should you date a girl with baggage... and how do you manage it if you do?

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for the baggage analysis ! It's been discussed in forum and among relationships and commonly the answer is "No" for easier life and less drama. However, it is refreshing to see you lay it out in detail for both sides.

So much to read and so much I need to digest. Thank you :)

I came across a weird phenomenon lately, and love to hear your opinion;)

I have 3 questions, but I've divided it up, so it's not so longwinded for you to read.

I appreciate your time for these comments!

Second Question:
This is something I've noticed commonly with girls who have baggage or are fairly experienced with dating. They're not new and won't blindly follow the more experienced guy (submissive). Have a bit of a feisty in them.

How would you handle girls like those in general? The rebellous ones

Example of things they do is when she calls your game out

and we know that "we try not to talk about game with women".
Making this a weird thing to handle. I try to be coy and improv (by playing along and twisting the frame) but it feels like the accusation "You're a player aren't you" there seems to be no right answer.

"You're playing hard to get aren't you"
This one I haven't thought of a witty banter reply to say back to.

"Your playing hard to get act is cute. I like it"
This one I somewhat know how to reply to because she's still chasing, and tries to not upset me by softening her comment with her interest.

But the whole mix of attainability issues come up if we reply with likewise "Thank you" or "It's not hard to in this situation" could be a hit.

"You are such a tease!"

"You are a player" or "How many times have you said that to a girl?"

And finally, this one is most common for me
"You're elusive / mysterious"

Like how on earth do we reply to all of these tests?
Would love to hear your approach and concept on why :)

Also can you give some other examples too YOU personally experienced on getting called out and how you formulated an answer for these tests?

Would help a lot thanks!

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.


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