Tactics Tuesdays: Realigning a Girlfriend's Beliefs | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Realigning a Girlfriend's Beliefs

Chase Amante

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realigning a girlfriend's beliefs
How do you change a girlfriend’s beliefs, and bring them inline with yours? By shifting her personal Overton window – to alter her ideological environment.

Commenting under a prior Tactics Tuesdays article on dismissing ideological fights you want no part of, Kaelos asked:

How about in a long-term relationship with a woman, where you share similar beliefs/views but there are some mild to moderate differences on topics like feminism, frugality vs spending, child-rearing practices, small differences in religious beliefs, etc.

Is there a strategy to implement so that her beliefs/views more closely match your own well-researched beliefs/views over the long term?

We’ve talked about behavior modification on Girls Chase plenty.

What about belief modification?

Well, yes. You can absolutely change someone’s beliefs... to an extent.

To do that, first, we’re going to focus on shifting a woman’s own personal Overton window.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Danny's picture

Wow Chase, This was an amazing article, you shifted my overton window with this article too. This was helpful for understanding how to affect other people's beliefs, so I was wondering if you could write an article sometime about developing and finding your own values, wants, desires, and figuring out what you stand for in order to have a strong sense of self. Women are definitely attracted to a man who has these things and she can follow the lead of his values and what he stands for. I feel like this can create a strong frame in of itself. I find myself in the problem of not knowing these about myself and falling into chameleon relationships with friends or girlfriend where I adopt some of their values instead of having a strong unshakable versions of myself. Any advice or an article would be highly appreciated. Thank you!

Anonym's picture

Hi Chase,

thanks for an interesting article. I have two points here:

1) You wrote "Yes, powerful men all have multiple women. All of them."

Of course many powerful men do it. But how can you be sure that all of them do it? The only way to prove it is to have detailed knowledge of life of all of them, which is impossible. But can you tell that this applies also on men powerful in their field like Nikola Tesla, Lionel Messi, Bill Gates, Adolf Hitler or the Pope? Some of them decided not to pursue women because of their work (Tesla), are shy/awkward/introverts and live monogamous life (Messi, Gates), have repressed sexuality (Hitler, also probably Cecile Rhodes), or religious reasons (the Pope).

2) Your Overton window is a great way, how to explain, what is essence of "political correctness". Many people in the West make mistake with seeing "political correctness" as equal to social liberal/progressive views. In reality, this phenomena is universal in all societies since each of them has consensus on some values which implies what is acceptable and what not (or for social groups, which may have different values from the mainstream consensus in their country, so for them is "politically correct" something else) and its concrete content is contextual. There might be next to anti-racist or anti-sexist also anti-Communist, religious, nationalist or other political correctness. Often those critics who make political correctness equal to social liberalism are politically correct in a different way (and use labeling of opponents, black and white view, oversimplifying, denying uncomfortable facts etc.), while not realizing it. It is interesting to watch it. I see your way of thinking compatible with what I wrote here, though sometimes when I read GC it looks like this mistake is reproduced also here - however, it may happen because you write mostly on relations between men and women and mostly for Western public which makes Western feminism/social liberalism more common topic.



Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thank you for this article!
I like the idea of realigning, convincing her to take a new perspective.
Not to mention attraction booster.

Though what if she's very strong in her standpoint?
Speaking of, you prefer girls who are strong minded and won't easily be convinced unless it's a strong argument.
But then are we going into arguments with gfs? I heard those are rather the opposite of attraction.

It feels like a fine line of realign vs. huge argument over opinions held strongly = adversarial almost

Re: Attraction boosters

Speaking of attraction booster, sure realigning beliefs and getting her to see your perspective is great, but any other boosters (not passive like fundamentals) in interactions?

Little details or so to sprinkle that will give us some attraction boosts, helps with emotional cresting too by knowing what these are exactly.

Re: Missing piece of the puzzle
Realigning... Is this the missing piece for running the MLTR setup ;)
Yeah, dealing with their drama is important and also setting the expectations without "in your face".
But changing their perspective altogether and make an exception just for you...
Now that's powerful.

Chase, you're teasing me with this...

Re: Restaurants
I'm curious if you had situations where you're out to dine or lunch and a girl at another table is cute, but she's with someone, and so are you.

How would you hit her up?

2 scenarios:
1) You're not sure if she likes you. No apparent approach invitation, would you just walk beeline while she has other friends present? and would you sit down or stand there while everyone is seated?

2) You see her looking your way. So chances are she likes you, but she still needs to engage her friend at the table. (Note, this isn't a nightclub), how would your approach be here? don't forget you also have friends at the table.

3) Lastly, what if that friend of hers is much older than her, making it possible for it to be her mom.
Approaching in front of her mom... hmm

Would love to hear your thoughts Chase.


Dale's picture

A few years ago I went to a bar, and there were two waitresses who were clearly mom and daughter. Mom arranged for the daughter to wait my table and was hoping for something to develop. (Make sure when you go to a bar, that you don't have to call it a night hours before closing).

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