Is a Woman Ever Really "Done with Hookups"? | Girls Chase

Is a Woman Ever Really "Done with Hookups"?

Chase Amante

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done with hookups
Women tell you they’re “done with hookups” all the time. But when they say it, do they really mean it?

A few years back, I rode down the elevator from a business conference around 8 o’clock at night. There was a woman in the elevator car with me as I rode down, and I struck up a conversation with her. She was 39; six years my senior at the time. She was married with children, but thin and shapely, and looked good for her age.

In the lobby, she revealed she was leaving the conference. I was on my way out too, and I noticed her linger a bit after she told me. She seemed like she was waiting to see what I’d say. So I told her “Me too. I’ll walk with you,” and we left together.

She was hungry; she hadn’t eaten dinner. We headed to a diner nearby. There, she ordered food and a drink. I didn’t want to eat and only ordered a drink. And she told me about her life. The vibe grew ever more intimate, and ever more charged. We got the bill; she paid for everything. Then, as we got up to leave, she said she thought she would just head back to her nearby hotel and rest. She gestured in the direction of her hotel and told me it was this way.

So, I called it off. I bid her goodnight, and walked a different way. I’d gone along with her because I don’t spend time with women in their late 30s, or women who are married with children, and I was curious how far things would progress. I never had any intention to sleep with her though. Just to have a nice conversation.

As things progressed, and the vibe got sexier, I did get a bit tempted... everything just flowed so well. I try not to break my “no girls over 30” rule, though I thought about it here since the girl looked fine and everything flowed so smooth (I’ll set the rule aside for genuinely beautiful post-30s women who don’t look like they’re post-30s... or for attractive-enough women in their 30s who make it sufficiently easy and enticing). However, I also have a rule about not hooking up with married women I know are married, especially if I know they have children, and that is one I don’t break. So I let her go... yet it stood out to me, for one reason:

I thought women her age were supposed to be ‘done with hooking up’ and too mature for all this hookup stuff, I thought.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



Housecard's picture

Hi Chase,
I am still upping my endgame, but I am curious if you didn’t actually make a move and notch this one, how would you know she actually wanted to hook up with you? Was it she telling you where her hotel is or was it the vibe and sparks flying between the two of you and you can just tell it?

Your anecdote also reminds me of what happened to me one time: a year ago during the class break at the school cafe, a blondie at least 45 years old but actually looks quite attractive showed up next to me when I was pouring cream. I commented on her coat. She said thank you with a big smile and the next thing she said was she’s from Sweden... I only knew what that means when I thought about it later because I had taken a girl I met at bar who responded me with the similar smile and told me her last name is Norwegian at very start of our interaction after I asked what her name is (she’s from the States though. Seems common for women to qualify themselves with traits that are “scarce” on the market). Didn’t proceed with the Swedish milf cuz I had to get back to class, but also because at the time my mind couldn’t register that women close to my mom’s age could possibly be interested in a 20 something. But right now I can understand it after reading your piece. For most women, as long as they are not totally done biologically, they would still listen to their pussies when the right man makes it easy for her at the right time.

And I always want to thank you for sharing your thoughtful insights. They really provide a new way to look at the world for some boy from a conservative background.

Also I have a question about your One Date: is there a way to purchase your product anonymously? i.e. no address, no phone number, only email and paid with a giftcard? As for the TDA, I understand it’s sort of the business practice to bundle a piece of it, but is it possible to just buy the One Date alone without getting the subscription of TDA?

Chase Amante's picture


Yes, certainly true. You don't ever know with absolute 100% certainty until your penis is in her. Until then she can back out, change her mind, or decide she only wanted a flirtation and it's gone far enough. In this case she'd been doing a lot of leading that seemed aimed at us ending up together at her hotel... but you never know, sometimes your read will be off.

The Swedish MILF... yeah, could well be. Sounds like she could've been interested in the least. Have to be careful about the "Nah... she couldn't be interested... could she?" reaction you may have with women who are outside your usual demographic. Often that first dismissive reaction will be wrong (and the only reason you have it in the first place is because something in you is registering that she could want it).

As for buying One Date, I suppose if your real name / address aren't tied to the gift card, there's no way for the credit card company to verify that information so you could in theory get away with not using real info. We have to verify that with the card company, but if they don't have your info it can't be verified. And if you do buy and decide you don't want the rest of the course, you can always cancel. Though of course I'd encourage you to stay - each module shapes you up in a different chunk of the seduction game.


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Where are you travelling now?
I've been wondering given how you travel to so many different countries, how do you pick up girls all these places when they all speak different languages and have different cultures?

Let me guess, you pick up the Punjabi 101 before heading there... but then if you travel to 100 countries, that's a lot of Languages for Dummies or Pocket guide to Javanese... I guess taking the phone with google translate and showing them the screen every time you reply in an interaction isn't the way to go either...

I give up, how do you pull it off? :)

Chase Amante's picture


Have you seen this article?:

Nonverbal Attraction and Getting Girls Without Words

Anyway, for the most part, many of the girls you will meet in most big cities speak English. Especially true if you stick to the foreigner-friendly parts of those cities. If you meet a girl who doesn't (or won't) speak English, and won't come along/comply, you just move on. Always more women to meet.

For the most part, the only local words I learn are hello, thank you, you're very pretty, etc. No need to study that in advance - if a girl likes you, it's a fun, flirty little thing to have her teach you a few words.


Lawliet's picture

Do you have to wear the condom from the very beginning of sex, such as foreplay or oral sex or hand job or footsie or rubber ducky rub downs?

Some say it is needed to ensure she does not get pregnant. Some blame accidental pregnancy due to not doing this and only putting it on right before penetration. Well the issue is condom only works when it's hard... if at the beginning, I doubt it would be hard or stay hard during foreplay or early on. And if the penis changes with it on, condom becomes loose and apparently we need to reapply a new one on when that happens? Confusing... Everyone seems to have different "right ways" tips. It's like their "version" on top of the basic steps of the face up, place on top, roll it down to cover the shaft, then pull the top a little for air and you're ready to go!

So who's better to ask than to ask you. I'm sure you have over 100s lays and have yet to be hit with a child. That 7% still hasn't caught you ;)


Chase Amante's picture


Not sure who's saying that, but it's not good advice.

If you put a condom on during foreplay, assuming foreplay takes 5-10 minutes, that's ample time for it to get rubbed off, damaged, etc. You're not trying to not get the bed or sofa pregnant, after all.

You put the condom on at the end of foreplay, before you're about to enter her. Condom goes on, then penis goes in - that's the procedure.

The guys talking about condoms for foreplay may also be talking about receiving blowjobs with condoms on. Which is generally the best practice for that (you can still get STDs from oral). In practice though, a lot of women are resistant to the idea of blowing you with a condom on... and most guys seem to be more cavalier with oral than they are with vaginal, anyway.

But yeah, that's the one time I'd advise condoms during foreplay: if she'll give you oral, and you want to stay safe.

Otherwise, don't put it on until the very end of foreplay, right before entry.


SZ's picture

Basically all girls still sleep around even after marriage? Well that's what I thought at first when I read the beginning.

Would saying you don't do hookups either sound good?

Chase Amante's picture

Basically all girls still sleep around even after marriage?

That is not what I said at all.

Would saying you don't do hookups either sound good?

Say you don't "like" hookups.

Saying you don't "do" hookups is trickier. Got to have the right vibe to pull that off. Otherwise it risks coming across like you are simply trying to please her by agreeing with her.


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