Book Review: The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida | Girls Chase

Book Review: The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida

Chase Amante

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enlightened sex manual
Ejaculation needn’t be the end of sex. It’s possible to control your ejaculation, to make sex far more pleasurable… For you AND her.

Human sexuality can be as simple or as complex as we desire. In our media and popular culture the parameters of sexuality are often dumbed down. One night stands are promoted as we grow up in the “get drunk, party, fuck” environment portrayed throughout media, artificial pleasures like porn and toys endure, and the purpose of sex becomes either short-lived hedonistic gratification or family rearing procreation.

Lost is a spiritual element informing how our sexual organs are wired straight to our brain and how our whole body is linked sexually... how our mental state can be affected through sexuality... and how our sexuality can be influenced by our mind.

Cultures of long ago had stumbled upon this knowledge, creating foundations for healthy human sexuality – the Kama Sutra, Tantra, Karezza to name a few – but all are commonly misunderstood in today’s society (e.g., the Kama Sutra is not just a book of sex positions). Today we settle for short, five-minute shags where the man ejaculates hard and fast, and the girl doesn’t cum HARD in a way that opens her psyche – it’s over, and we move on.

By connecting the realm of the brain – spirituality and emotions – with those of our physiology and sexuality – our genitals and how we use them with a partner – we can create a new level of awareness that ties pleasure with raising our level of awareness and purpose. We can create and deliver earth-shattering orgasms that transform our psyche and leave us with replenishing instead of wasted energy.

Today’s book review of The Enlightened Sex Manual by David Deida begins with this powerful statement:

Good artists are skilled, but great artists convey an immense depth of feeling through their expertise. The same goes for the art of sex. A good lover knows how to make the body sing, But a great lover, a superior lover, evokes a vast choir of bliss…The Enlightened Sex Manual shows how to transform the often willy-nilly flow of stimulated genital energy into a profound depth of feeling, openness, and embodied ecstasy.

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Varoon RajahAbout the Author: Varoon Rajah

A New York City native, Varoon’s studied under many of the seduction industry’s leading instructors. His specialty is direct day game, where he meets girls on the street, on the subway, and in coffee shops. Varoon is the host for the Girls Chase Podcast, available on iTunes or via SoundCloud.



Sadeqh 's picture

I think David Deida is better off finding a way through literature communities than anywhere near the seduction zone, he is a "Try Hard" in the way he writes now imagine the amount of energy you have to put for his no more than good materials..exactly the opposite type of book posted by dear Varoon "Rajah "Rationale Male" which was better structured and didn't hypnotized the reader with dreamy words. David is really a big mess in authoring!!! In my opinion of course must never enter his nonsense material :)

Thanks Varoon

Rodrigo's picture

Definitely disagree with Sadeqh. I don't really get what you mean by empty promises... what did you expect, to be a sex god just by reading his material?

Wow, pressing the tongue to the roof of your mouth seems so silly, yet my voice sounds much cleaner and effortless. I also found this technique very useful when lifting weights... when i'm inhaling air on the excentric phase of the movement, i press the tongue to the roff of my mouth and it does help a lot in my perfomance.

Sadeqh 's picture

Well in order for you to understand let's say you believe or at least apply one of his highlighted sentences by Varoon, like;
“Sexual energy itself – its flavor, texture, and power – is a feminine gift. Where that sexual energy goes, or how it is used, is a masculine gift.”

Now tell me where does that take you to know (if even true) that sexual energy is a feminine gift??
It is TOTALLY vague and NOT practical and wherever you look he is playing with words to sell that IDK how many pages of sending people to la la land.

If you are busy you won't need it, that's all.

Varoon Rajah's picture


Thanks for posting your comment, and for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed The Rational Male, however that book has a very different focus and message than David Deida does. For what it's worth, the two writers also have different missions in their book - Rollo Tomassi wants to educate men about the sexual marketplace from a very logical point of view, whereas Deida delves into the realm of emotions, feelings, and chemistry of the mind, and how men think versus how women think. It is a spiritual, not literal, focus. For this to make sense, one has to back away from literal interpretation and think more in terms of spiritual roles. For instance, the quote that you posted of course does not make sense literally and logically, from the point of view of physical ramifications ("who dictates that sexual energy is a feminine gift?") yet in a spiritual sense and from what I've experienced in being with women for the last five years, to me this makes perfect sense - because we are talking about the soul of women as a whole, versus the soul of men as a whole, and how these two energies dance with each other no matter who the subject literally is.

So overall, I think you are viewing this book and David Deida in a very literal, logical, and rational sense, where it is actually not meant to be. The domain of relationships and women is primarily emotional and feeling, not literal and logical (though it also can be, but I see over and over, time and time again, that many men including myself get stuck in logic and want things to "make sense" when the answer they seek actually lies in feeling a situation and a woman, which is rarely logical). If you can train yourself to connect with women, and possibly with yourself, on a spiritual realm, I think David Deida will make far more sense to you. Of course, that choice is up to you! Either way I hope you have a busy, fulfilling woman life!


Varoon Rajah's picture


Pressing the tongue to the roof of the mouth is an excellent way to get grounded in mind and body. It's nearly impossible for the mind to wander and stay unfocused, when you have to focus on keeping your tongue connected to the roof of your mouth!


Mischief's picture

I've read (or rather listened to) The Rational Male well over ten times now. Perhaps the reader, Sam Botta, is just that good an orator… but I still listen to excerpts of this book regularly to this day now (since Varoon's review). It is a captivating read for a guy like me, perhaps fortunately due to the fact that I am right now hitting my SMV peak (38 with lean, muscular physique) and have never been married, nor am I involved in a monogamous LTR. I am single, free, and have a thing for married gals (cue judgmental harangue).

That said, it is a VERY rational read. I find after listening to such thought provoking passages enough times, I suddenly realize, "duh, I actually always felt this to be true years before I ever knew the 'Manosphere' existed. Just never had it fleshed out so thoroughly." While I find it enlightening to hear the rational explanation for things I had years ago intuited on my own, there is a real place for intuition and raw emotion as a means of problem solving. As I am a professional musician by day, my reputation as a stage performer actually depends on my ability to rapidly solve musical issues in this manner (translating into accurate mind/body coordination and unity among colleagues on stage—not dissimilar to sex).

Be weary of writing off material you are simply uncomfortable with or not feeling connected too. If you truly found it useless, I doubt you would have left a comment at all—that you did tells me some part of you struggles to understand something that is just currently out of your reach.

To the book itself (David Deida's), I love the review, but I probably won't be reading it soon for mainly one reason: it is already what I do with women (in my humble opinion)! :)

I came to the seduction word late in my life (age 35) and from a background of religious chastity and great fear of sex being evil. To this day, it is hard for me to shake the feeling that I am doing something wrong (or evil) while penetrating a girl, so my own engine actually takes time to hit full steam while I struggle with competing emotions. However, I use this to my advantage: during my emotional struggle, I focus on those sexual mechanics that maximize female pleasure. Chase says he likes to think about baseball (anything that makes you feel a little less aroused and more in control).

You can use your tongue to stimulate pleasure in her ears and neck, your teeth to bite softly (or hard) on her shoulders, arms, breasts, and nipples (during penetration), squeeze the sides or her lower torso, or envelop and spread her butt cheeks with your hands while penetrating her so she can feel ever more open to receiving you! This only scratches the surface, but I can attest to the fact that it works with real women and they LOVE it! Enjoy fucking her and let her enjoy it by drawing it out as much as possible.

Ideally, you should want her to have a spiritual experience with your cock—something she will never forget and an occasion that ideally surpasses that which any other man has ever (and ever will) give her again. Take great delight in drawing out every sexual encounter as long as practical constraints of time will allow (sometimes it's an afternoon at her place and we only have one hour before returning to work :P ).

Men do have 12-17 times the testosterone of women, but give a woman an unforgettable sexual experience, and she might just turn into the "she devil" we all want. Give it a shot! ;)


She enters your world… not the other way around.
Manners. Maketh. Man.

Varoon Rajah's picture


Great to hear from you again. You're doing great, and I bet with these vivid descriptions you're giving women the time of their lives! I can also attest, coming from a religious and "shame-oriented" background, that it is indeed difficult to overcome feeling that having sex with a girl is wrong in some form - and this definitely has affected my confidence and assured-ness before and during the act. It's always eye opening, though, to see a girl's face contort, and her her moan and convulse in pleasure, when we do the things you describe and David describes. The female body is it's own instrument, and her gift of ecstasy in body and mind goes to the man who can best learn to masterfully play it, over and over!

I sometimes stumble on the following idea, but I truly believe - for a man's reputation to shine - he must always, always give amazing sex when the opportunity is there, even if it's just a lunch break. Amazing sex doesn't always involve cock in pussy penetration, but it should always open her mind and body in blissful, pleasurable ways. A woman loves a man who enjoys fucking her!


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