How to Avoid and Deal with False Rape Accusations | Girls Chase

How to Avoid and Deal with False Rape Accusations

Chase Amante

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Chase Amante's picture

false rape accusationsSo you met a girl at a party. Both of you had been drinking, but not so much that either of you was stumbling around, slurring your speech, or anything. The attraction between the two of you was palpable; sparks flew through the air like electric currents, and one thing very quickly led to another.

After a night of passionate fun, she left with a smile on her face, bidding you farewell. You proceeded on with your life, a little happier for the encounter.

Then, a few weeks later, a pair of uniformed police officers showed up at your door. They were investigating the rape of an acquaintance of yours – the girl you’d slept with a few weeks back. You, they said, were the alleged perpetrator.

She said you’d raped her, they told you. They needed to ask you some questions and wondered if you might come downtown with them for a chat.

Immediately, your world was turned upside down. You had no choice but to hire an attorney at $200 an hour for a lot of hours if you didn’t want a one-way ticket to the soul-destroying prison-rape gulag of the penitentiary system. Friends distanced themselves from you; you feared work finding out, and firing you on the spot because “it’s not good for the company image to have someone accused of what you’ve been accused of on the books.” And forget about finding a girlfriend; now every girl you see looks like a potential accuser to you of a crime you did not commit.

The terrifying reality is that false rape accusations are as common or nearly as common as genuine rape reports to the police, according to the most reliable of the research studies out therebut nobody talks about it.

What causes it, why it happens, what to look for, how to avoid it, and how to deal with it. It’s taboo; it doesn’t fit the “agenda”, and you’re not allowed to mention it. Talking about the plight of the legions of men preyed upon by vicious women risks distracting from the discussion of the plight of the legions of women preyed upon by vicious men, and this festering boil is left undiscussed, and young men uninformed and unprepared.

Being slapped with a false rape accusation can be one of the most terrifying, isolating, and emasculating events that can befall a man, because another individual decides to leverage the power of “the system” to try to destroy his life, often for reasons he does not know or cannot comprehend. When it happens, there’s frequently no one you can talk to, because everyone just presumes you did it... after all, why would some girl go to the trouble of filing a police report accusing you of such a crime otherwise?

So let’s talk about it, because it needs to be talked about. Let’s discuss why this happens... how to steer far clear of the women who do it... and what to do if you get stuck in some Jezebel’s fly trap.

Comments

Troy's picture

Hey Chase,

I'm confused as what to do if I won't let a girl know my address. Obviously if I bring a girl home, then she more than likely will know my address. This happened to me before when a girlfriend I had for about two weeks asked directly to come to my house and fuck me. On our way, it was a date, I was scared because I hardly knew this girl even though she was my girlfriend. So I made a stop at Dominoes Pizza to eat. When we finished eating she begged me to take her to my home but I didn't answer her and took her on a trip, back to the main town to end the date. And I got her home safely.

She is the only girlfriend I had that was a bit of a party girl and she kept telling me that her mom is a devout Christian and her father a bad man and they don't want her to have a boyfriend. I guess I did the best thing.

I wouldn't want to have sex with her and her father came to my gate with a gun for my head or the police to lock me up. So looking back now, I feel confident I did the right thing. It's a bit disappointing that I missed a great opportunity though and she broke up with me because of that. After all, we were making out hard at every corner we found during the date and I "brought her to the edge of the cliff and left her hanging" (pun intended)

How do I bring girls home then?
Should I just rent a hotel then or have sex anywhere?

Even though cold approach is my best friend, it's still possible to have a one nightstand and see the girl and the ppolice at my gate the next day.

If someone is pulling girls from the street in two hours then they wont really know the girl. Some girls might be hardcore party girls and they dress in work uniformfor example. You pick her up and she's a crazy ( yes crazy girls do manage to get good jobs if they know how to come across as normal.)

That's scary. I dont want to miss out on girls that might be great for me just because I'm afraid of being put in prison with large men rapists.

Troy

David Riley's picture

Hey Troy,

If the girl is of age and not crazy I wouldn't worry about taking girls home. If she doesn't seem like she'll become a potential stalkers, she's fine. If it is that much of a worry then you could go the hotel route. As far as fear of being accused of rape I suggest you check out the following article.

Avoiding Crazy Girls

If you let the fear of running into crazy girls rule your life you'll miss out on a lot of normal girls. On top of that if you actually knew her, it's okay. The overall point of the article is essentially screen out girls and make sure they are sober. If a girl tells you to stop then stop. Make sure she doesn't feel pressured to have sex with you.

Just Dave

Private Rico's picture

Hello Chase and the Team,
I have a few questions connected with one thing that I struggle with which is mentioned in the article. What I mean is telling little about yourself. I often do good job in it, but there are times I have some problems. I'll list them below (I skip the part about social media, because I don't have any s.m.):
- what if a girl asks about my surname? It happens to me very, very rarely, up to now I've always told the truth, but what is the best solution in your opinion? Should I lie?
- what to do about my phone number? Up to now, I've always used one for all the important stuff (family, friends, school/business etc.) and the other one for girls. Is it a good tactic or can you think about a better one?
- my occupation: I work at the univ and it's easy to check all my data. How should I tackle this one? Up to now, I've always told the truth skipping as much unnecessary data as possible.
- and now the biggest one: my address. Immediate date is not always possible and even when it is, I know the best thing to do is to take a girl/woman to your place ASAP. If I take her there, she WILL know it no matter what I do. And paying for another place for hookups is a) costly and b) it will be registered for my real name, so to me it seems pointless.
My questions come from the point of view of a devoted day gamer with a long story on his side (I did it long before finding your site and PUA in general - btw, GC is the only one PUA site well worth reading IMHO). I've always used my real surname (of course, only if necessary), my real adress (no other option then and there), facts about my real occupation and two phone numbers. What can I fix and what do you mark as good?
And BTW, thank you very much for your site - well written articles with much thought! Good place here to broaden your horizon. And it's always good to find someone / a group of people who share the same, uncommon world view as me. (What I like most about the present state of the website is that articles from Chase, IMO the best author here, come regularly and touch important issues. For me, it's better to have 2-3 such amazing articles from the The Boss each week and plethora great ones from other writers than to have everything written by just one person and in shorter, less developed pieces.)
And the last thing - I think that it would be great if you could post "Recommended Reading vol. 2" - a long time has passed since the first article, so you may have found another great reads (the same for other writers).
So thanks again and as always: all the best,
PR
P.S. I expect the shitstorm to come, so I wish you all the best in surviving it as always (after all, "they are barking under the wrong tree" ;))

David Riley's picture

Hey Rico,

I wouldn't worry about sharing your last name, girls sometimes just use that to look you up on social media. If and only if you've hung out with her more than once! It also matters how you met her. If you met her at a bookstore you're good, if you met her at the club it's a bad deal. You have to feel her out and find out about her. Other times they want your full name in their phone because they've met so many guys with your first name. You can give girls small details about your life so you don't have to lie about it. You could tell girls you work in education, and then ask them what they do. You could keep your existing plan for dealing with phones. If you feel that's what you have to do then do it. If you're concerned about taking a girl home, screen her extra hard. Find out if she's crazy or not. Also, only escalate if she's comfortable. If she becomes uncomfortable stop immediately. Let her leave and don't force her to do anything. Another thing you could do is escalate in public places or even your care.

Good luck,

Just Dave

Wolf's picture

This was a great article, Chase do you think you can make an article about dealing with 5-0 and avoid getting arrested and harassed. Too many people are getting hurt and killed because of 5-0, especially black men.

How do we avoid and deal with racial profiling and not end up like the black men in the news?

Thanks

David Riley's picture

Hey Wolf,

I'll let Chase and the other authors know about your request.

Just Dave

robertnyc's picture

I have had a friend publicly and falsely accused of rape (later proven false by the police) and I have personally had a girl try to extort me and make threats months after a sexual encounter.

In addition to the points raised in chase's article I would also recommend that if you suspect the girl has made a false rape charge you do not admit in texts or phone calls you have had sex. The police have to prove sex occurred and if you admit it or acknowledge it they are half way home to making a case. Also beware if you get a phone call from the girl or one of her family members wanting to discuss the night in question - you are very likely being recorded in the hopes of you admitting sex occurred, you knew she was drunk and/or making an apology. Also under no circumstances should you make any statements to the police explaining what happened before consulting a lawyer.

Another tip is to send a text shortly after any sexual encounter saying you had fun and will talk soon. If she replies she had fun too take a screen shot of the texts and save them. The post sex texts with the false accuser where she talked about having fun and meeting up again are what saved My friend. Make sure your screen shot shows the girl's number and not just her name from your contact list like Sue. Otherwise you can't prove the texts actually came from her actual phone number and not another number that you set up and put the name Sue on.

David Riley's picture

Hey Nyc,

I'm glad to hear it worked out for you and your friend. I agree this is a very important topic that man need to discuss and overcome. I also like the tip on screenshots, that is very crucial. I hope more men come forward and share their experiences.

Take care,

Just Dave

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Robert-

These are all fantastic tips.

It's sad it comes to this, but when you have someone accusing you of something you didn't do, you basically do not want to say a word about it to anyone (cops included) that doesn't go through a lawyer first.

As in the "Don't Talk to Police" video:

The post-sex text is vital for evidentiary reasons, absolutely, and it also helps lessen sex regret, which is a factor in some false rape accusations.

Great pieces of advice here.

Chase

Gerry's picture

You can't reliably tell that a girl is a nutcase frootloop if she doesn't show it at first or for a while. Sooner or later if she is crazy it will come out. They can't hide it forever.
One sure indicator is if you find out that she is on prescribed psychiatric drugs: Trilafon, Elavil, Triavil, Librium, lithium (carbonate), Xanax (really serious shit), others. Break off with her as gently and quickly as possible, and hope that she finds some other sap to snake her tentacles around. One of these kept after me to abuse me for months; at least we lived across the city 20 miles apart and she didn't know where I lived. Her parents didn't really approve of me, so they wouldn't help her find me.

jakd's picture

Man this is one kickass article!!!!
I am in love with this site! I do have a question though, on your breakup article on on the topic of the choice if the girl accepts the one-month time limit, I just think it would be uncomfortable being there with her, especially when she is really attached to you and trying to do anything to win back your heart, Chase how does this one month play out between you and the girl, is everything normal until then, or do you have to do things differently?

David Riley's picture

Hey Jakd,

If the girl agrees it's all about being fair and giving her a honest chance. Be around and attempt to make time for her. Evaluate her, if she didn't win you back by the end of the arrangement, leave. If she did make you feel special and regain your interest, let her stay.

Just Dave

90210's picture

Hey Chase, can you tell me how
to deliver non verbal comebacks?
Here's the thing, I'm in High School and I suck at comebacks and it really is
annoying for me. So how do I perform a great, witty comeback
without even opening my mouth?
I guess it all will be in facial expressions but which to use?

Another question, how to appear comfortable while sitting in class?
Thanks man.

David Riley's picture

Hey 90210,

Check out the following articles

Classroom Body Language
Nonverbal Communication

Just Dave

klaus's picture

Seriously guys, I need to gets sexy voice .
All articles on this site are OUTSTANDING, Chase and the team really
know some excellent stuff and I'm more than grateful for everything
but the article on getting a sexy voice.... really, I just don't get it.
I find it really hard and.... well I don't know if the problem is with me
or anything but please help me so I can a sexy voice.
And also, how to get a "purr" in my voice?
Finally, could you provide me with some actors having really
sexy voices so I can study them and try to progress .

David Riley's picture

Hey Klaus,

Check out the following actors:

Brad Pitt
Sean Connery
Pierce Brosnan
George Clooney

It's all about practicing and then imitating what you hear for the most part.

Just Dave

tayoisrich's picture

Hey Chase, my friend's ex girlfriend went to the police station and accused him of rape. After the police investigated and found out that she was doing it because my friend dumped her and she did it for revenge... guessed what the police did to her (my friend's ex girlfriend) they slapped her multiple times on the face till she confessed... lmao... you can call it a minor African police brutality... lol....

David Riley's picture

Hey Tayo,

Sorry to hear about what happened to your friend, but what they police did is pretty funny.

Just Dave

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Tayo-

That's quite a counterpoint to what you see in the West!

At the same time, it's perhaps too far in the other direction... people admit to all kinds of things under physical duress / slappings / beatings that they may or may not have actually done.

I want to say, "Sucks for her; she deserved it!", yet also would hope that women who are actual rape victims aren't being slapped silly because the perp made up a convincing-sounding story. Tough thing to make up your mind on... no matter which way justice swings, it seems like it's going to be too harsh on either the male victims of false rape accusations or the female victims of rape either way here. Neither is good.

Chase

tayoisrich's picture

It was after they investigated from witnesses that the police invited her to the station again & did the slapping. she was actually dating my friend for over one and a half years.... a lot of people (male and female) knew they were dating...

I saw my friend fucking her in his car one night... she did it out of anger when my friend broke up with her... forgetting that so many people know them as a couple!

Even her neighbors know that she was regularly sleeping with my friend... so it was easy to catch her lies! We still laugh about how they slapped her in the police station till today (it happened in 2012)!

Lady Luck's picture

I found this article while fighting with some guy on youtube because he was claiming you were a rapist.

I'd like to add something. To deter a woman who is falsely reporting you have raped her, sleep with her again. I believe the crazies do this because they feel rejected or feel like a slut as you have already mentioned in your article but by sleeping with them again, it makes them feel like you weren't just a one night stand or that they are NOT a slut (she justifies it because sleeping with someone twice means it's not a one night stand).

Stupid western society.

Not only should we blame the crazies for lying about being raped but also the dumb men who use the world slut. They not only create this mess but also stop women from sleeping with the rest of you.

Love you Chase. You really are creating some great men.

Troy's picture

In addition to the comment above, I reconnected with a girl I met two years ago at her mom's internet cafe. When I first met her I could tell that she liked something about me. I was on lunch break from work and I happened to pass her mom's internet cafe and see her standing outside.

I walked straight up and put my arm around her. Her back was turned to me so I other words I was looking at her long before she glimpsed me. We had a little conversation and I went for a two minute number close. I got her number. Here's how the conversation went:

Troy: Hey
Shantal: Hey Wats up
Troy: I'm doing great. I'm working now and this is my lunch break. How are you?
Shantal: So where do you work?
Troy: Grapes Cue Pharmacy. Today is my second day and I'll be working there for the next two weeks. I actually walk pass here everyday to go for lunch. It's been a long-time now since I last saw you.
Shantal: Yea that's true. You were always shy. ( smiling seductively at me)

( She broke circle with me and went inside the store to talk to her mom for about a minute while I waited outside. Then we went across the street so.She could buy a drink for her mom. I felt like I was chasing when she was walking and I was just tagging along and talking to her)

Troy: So which grade are you in now?

Shantal: Actually I finished school this year and I might go up to new York for college.

( As we were about to cross back the street, I decided that I wasn't going to let her go. She was in a rush to give her mom the drink so I employed the two minute number close)

Troy: ( stopping her from walking by holding her hand gently while having a playful smile on) Hey I'm going to opposite way from you and my lunch time is almost up. It was nice to see you again though. I would love to see you again soon and I wish I could stop and talk more. We should chill sometime. Give me your number?

Shantal: Its 1573......

Troy: Ok got it. ( Then I gave her another hug and she hugged me back. I think it was a friendly hug and she was smiling at me as if to say " call me"

Then later that day, about three hours later I sent her this text

Troy: Hey friend. Troy here. Save my number
Troy: And please spell your name so I dont get it wrong. (asking her to comply, even though I probably should have asked that before

Shantal: (spelt it for me) Shantal
Shantal: Hiii :-)

Troy: Great I spelled it right before. Save my #

Shantal: Okay :-)

So after that initial text you recommend I do, I got back in contact with Shantal three days later on what's app this time. I know I should have gotten back in contact with her before three days passed. The following day after I got her number, I made a stop at a hat same internet cafe and her mom told me she was at home. If she was there then I would have simply taken her to lunch (instant date). A

[1:55AM, 8/16/2014] Troy: Hey
[11:01AM, 8/16/2014] Shantal: Hii

Troy's picture

[1:55AM, 8/16/2014] Troy: Hey
[11:01AM, 8/16/2014] Shantal: Hii

James J's picture

Hey Chase,

When I was in college, I had sex with a girl who was drunk. It was consensual and in having sex with me, this girl cheated on her boyfriend. The next day she said she was really drunk and didn't remember anything. I mentioned the sex and she was caught a bit off guard but it was no big deal at that moment.

Then she talked to her friend (yup, a college friend like you talk about in the article) and this friend put it in her head that she was raped. Funny thing is, this friend was competing with the girl for me at one point and this probably caused her to accuse me of rape.

The girl called me the next day saying that her friend said she should file rape charges. BUT she said she didn't want to do that and insisted we didn't have sex. She was giving me an out. She wanted me to deny we had sex and everything would go away. So obviously I did, and I never heard from her again.

Thing is, she had a boyfriend and this jeopardized her relationship.
It's so true what you said about the instigating friend and girls doing it to get out of looking like sluts or girls who cheated on their boyfriend.

Fellas, if you're accused of this, it's tough but like Chase also mentioned, be cool with the girl after sex. Don't be a dick. But if she does pursue legal action, be TOUGH! Let her know you'll counter-sue and you'll make sure she be in legal debt for the rest of her life. That should make her think twice about accusing you.

David Riley's picture

Hey James,

Sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you posted your story so that readers on this site can learn from you. I'm happy it all worked out for you.

Take care,

Just Dave

patriarchal landmine's picture

the problem with the whole "drunk sex" excuse is that drinking to blackout is exceedingly rare, so women have to lie that they "can't remember" in order to lie about being raped in the first place.

David Riley's picture

Hey Landmine,

I think the more interesting thing I've read somewhere is that women are held accountable for the drinking in other areas of life. Some of these areas are driving drunk, child abuse, or even public intoxication. She held responsible as an adult and accountable for her decisions. I've always found out that once she's drinking she's no longer held accountable for having sex. She suddenly is unable to make a decision and considered helpless in some cases. That was just something I wanted to share, this you shared an interesting outlook yourself.

Link on the Topic

Take care,

Just Dave

Anonymous's picture

You forgot sex with a minor or barely legal adult. you claim that you target 18 - 24. There are others you take your advice but goes after 16 based on the state they live. In order to avoid being accused of rape, it wise to avoid barely legal adults under 16 or 18 depending on the states you live.

The law says that they are not able to give consent, no matter how enticing they are because they are at their peak. If you are going to target a barely legal adult for sex, make sure they are of the age of consent.

Also, it is wise to stay away from them while they are underage. Their parents will report any suspicious person hovering over their underage daughter, waiting for her to turn 16.

This person I know was afraid of being falsely accused of rape. Why, because he is attracted to teenage girls and goes after drunk girls for sex. He was paranoid that one of the drunk girls he slept with him would accused him of rape or the parents of the teenage girls he flirts with would report him.

So some men put themselves in situation where they can be accused of rape. Targeting drunk girls for sex or flirting with minors is a playing with fire. Stay clear.

Anonymous's picture

My son was falsely accused of rape by a woman who needed constant attention. Her facebook page started 3 days after the reported date with the excuse that her account had been compromised so she had to start a new one.
Over the next year, it was the little things on her page that gave rise to skepticism for his court appointed attorney. She was always in pain from something, excruciating sometimes but never enough to keep her from posting. She was always complaining about people and threatening them in posts and comments. She reported to the police that she didnt have a job because she was in therapy for PTSD every single day yet never an hour went by that there wasnt a post on FB about shopping or her dog that she hated etc.

She reported having been pregnant as a result of the rape, posted weekly about being pregnant, posted ultrasound pictures along with comments of how far along she was. Reported miscarrying 5 months into it. Told the police in her taped statement about the miscarriage which I have a copy of. The officers didnt question it or what became of the 13 inch long fetus that would be produced from such a late term miscarriage. She posted monthly that her baby would now be 2 months old, 4 months etc. She had a tattoo with the "baby's" name put on her.
Come to find out, she went to the ER 2 months after the alleged incident, and 2 different OB/GYNs within months after that. All three told her she wasnt pregnant. Her last visit to the OB, she went in claiming she had miscarried that morning, her record indicates the doctor found no evidence of ever being pregnant.
The ultrasound picture she posted on FB claiming she was 17 weeks showed a normal intact uterus with a cyst on the ovary. No pregnancy.
Her story changed from one interview to the next 1&1/2 years later. In the first, he wasnt armed, in the 2nd, he was. Just before the second interview, he had bought a hunting knife and posted a picture of it on FB. That is the one she described and picture she printed to give them.
You would think all of this would put doubts into the prosecutor's head but it didnt.

A few weeks before court, she killed herself over a family situation. The prosecution then dropped charges of course but wouldnt take the arrest off of his record. Its been almost 2 years and the charge follows him still only now he cant even defend himself against it.

My intention here is to add to the above advice by suggesting also to check everything about a woman who accuses you. In my son's case, the ultrasound picture I found and took to the OB/GYN opened up a can of worms that my son's public defender hadnt thought to check out. They figured it just happened as a result of the consensual act even though both of them reported the condom being used.
Small details can be your way out.

Iarwain Benadar's picture

Good article. Besides dating, there are many accusations that come from one's line of work: psychotherapists, massage therapists, lawyers, dentists, nurses, doctors, politicians, teachers and cab drivers -- basically any vocation where you are alone in a room with a client can subject one to false accusations of rape. Finding a way to video or audio record your interactions with your clients in closed quarters may actually save you at the investigation stage, before arrest or before trial. Recordings have also freed falsely accused and convicted men and have resulted in their exoneration. There are some legal considerations, however, in making recordings of which you should be aware: google ("can we tape rcfp") for more details.

For more information on this topic consider reading the blogs:
COTWA (The Community of the Wrongly Accused). COTWA has about 8 years worth of articles, reports and commentary on false accusations.

google ("COTWA "Bruce Gross" "false rape allegations: an assault on justice"")

google (""tri-polar information for health professionals")

google ("thefire my son was falsely accused of rape")

search thefire website with "?s=rape" for a list of articles.

google ("jamiranda why would a woman lie about rape")

google ("shrink4men rape")

Youtube: google ("Angry Harry understanding the rape statistics")

Youtube: google ("youtube manwomanmyth PL0A235BDB72C8F8FB")

for an archive of the entire manwomanmyth website, view: archive.is/finVk

Youtube: Demosthenes Lorandos' channel "AccusedFalsely" on YouTube is one of the best practical resources for those who have been accused of sex crimes. Mr. Lorandos has even defended women accused of sex crimes in high-profile cases.

Read the following books (all can be found on Amazon):
Davis, John. How to Avoid False Accusations of Rape.
Davis, John. False Accusations of Rape: Lynching in the 21st Century
Navarro, Joe. How to Spot a Borderline Personality.
Navarro, Joe. How to Spot a Histrionic Personality.
Hoy, Marion. Falsely Accused: After 31 years of law enforcement service, a former Texas police officer explains the shambles of the American criminal justice system-and how to prevent becoming its victim.
Sheppard, Roy. Venus: The Dark Side.
Hendrick, RK "how to avoid getting screwed when getting laid"

Read the Article: Sansone, RA (google "RA sansone" "fibromyalgia and borderline personality")

I hope these help.

Let there be no doubt: False Accusations of Rape are a Social Nuclear Weapon.

William Pittman's picture

I was dating this one girl for a while and her family doesn't really know me. I haven't heard from her in two days and I got a message saying that it's her sister am texting me telling me that her sister got raped and she was a lil nervous to tell me. She said her uncle told her to tell me and he don't even know me. I can't think of no family member will tell a person they don't know that they sister been raped. Could this be all made up. I been reaching out to her and no respond. Texting, calling from different phones, etc... I'm not forsure what went wrong.

Traumatised's picture

in the last year i felt very unconfident (wish i got here sooner)
i got threatened to be accused or more threatened to be shamed by three consecutive different girls...
i got a call from a girls friend trying to blackmail me.
in all those occasions we did not even had any touch! i have tried, got rejected, than left/tried to stay friendly.
i guess those girls expected a smoother playboy guy as i did built this kind of aurora in the past, than got disappointment as i was hesitant/weak willed...
this days i feel extremely scared about my social status and reputation. and had just avoided a chance with an amazing women buy the fear of this happening again.
i am truly traumatised by this.
has never felt so helpless and untrusting of people
any idea what can i do?

Becky's picture

I was just wondering are there any sites or forums that can help partners of men falsely accused of rape? My OH was recently accused by his ex from a couple from a couple of years ago and we had the police accost us at our door and he was taken away for questioning. I am 100% behind him and don't believe a word of it but I am finding it hard to cope with the ramifications that are going to come from this.

Audi's picture

No matter what happen, do this:
Take a picture or video with your smartphone, where she is smiling with you, naked.

Don't be a dick (e.g. blackmailing her). Just keep it to make everything safe.

Crazy's picture

Recently, my close friend was falsely accused of rape. I think it's one of the extremely rare and crazy cases where there had been no sex involed. The girl who accused him of rape was never in any kind romantic relationship. Plus, my friend even has a gf. My friend hired a lawyer but I heard things aren't going well for him, (he was reported to a university police). He wasn't even told what the complaint was about. Is there any way to help him (activisits, campaign groups...) He is staying in the states with F1 visa and the accuser is a citizen, but all this really doesn't make sense, and I know the dean and professor are on his side but am not sure if they can stand on this side publicly.

Sam Christensen's picture

"With the cooperation of the police agency of a small metropolitan community, 45 consecutive, disposed, false rape allegations covering a 9 year period were studied."

a SMALL METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY does not equal an entire region, much less a whole state or country. You cannot claim that 41% of rape cases are false, because that implies that 41% of ALL rape cases are false, when this is only true for a small, specific community in the year of 1994. This data is both outdated and too specific in its subject and reach.

Leo's picture

Dear Chase,

Been googling about false rape accusations and stumbled upon your great website.
I've been living together with a girl, let's call her Sofy to keep anonimity, just like friends over a period of two months back when I was 17 y.o. Now I'm 22, studying in college and working at weekends.
Now, I didn't expect it to turn out like this: I'm apparently a rapist, which I found out just a couple of days ago at my weekend job, where a cousin of that girl is working too. Seemingly I raped Sofy when I lived with her, while we in fact never had sex.
What actually happened that particular day: Later in the evening we massaged each other, and she ended up dry humping me, when I lay down on my belly, I felt like she was getting an orgasm (she didn't have sex for a while, just like me), and I got quite excited down there as well. The same day, at night, she asked me to come sleep with her. I honestly got a boner, and tried to, but when she said no, I retreated.
She still treated my like her best friend after that, but our connection slowly faded away over the years. And now I'm a rapist apparently, while her parents where sleeping next to her room, is that even possible? It makes me sick, as her cousin is spreading the rumor at my job.
I've noticed that Sofy also removed the selfies with me that we made back then, and she must have removed them last two years.
Her cousin is a girl with a male voice, male facial features and anorexia, so when I read this article I realized she's just the kind of broken girl that holds a grudge on all males. I'm afraid to lose my well-paid job, but most of all I'm afraid of my reputation, which has always been that of a honest gentleman.
Would you have some advice in my particular situation right here?

A million thanks and huge respect for your hard work! I really appreciate what I've already managed to read on your site!

Wishing you the best,

Leo

Allen's picture

Nope - it's not worth it. I don't talk to women at all except in totally professional settings (I refuse to even have coffee with women now, never have a one to one meeting with any woman, and never attend any office social events), and have no intention of changing this practice. I'm not about to risk everything just to say 'hello' to someone who might then turn around and accuse me of harassment. Once that happens - no matter whether it's true or not - the guy's life is basically over. It's not how I want to live but I feel I have no choice.

rob3's picture

Good article BUT Not a single word about CONSENT??? Come on man.
The number one tip that will help guys is: Understand CONSENT - explicit and implicit and ASK FOR CONSENT.

Because the attorneys and lawyers will Tear you to Shreds if you didn't ask, or cannot show you understand it.
Don't ruin you life guys.

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