Investment | Page 5 | Girls Chase

Investment

The art of involving a woman more deeply in a conversation, an interaction, a date, a seduction, a relationship.

Create Comfort with Her, and Sexual Tension Comes Easy

it's on moment
You can build comfort to better help maintain sexual tension. When comfort’s too low, tension dissipates. But with comfort? It lasts.

Hey guys, and welcome back.

As you may know, I am currently writing a series on sexual tension. This is the 4th post so far, and I really recommend you check out the previous posts before reading this one. But even if you don’t, you’ll still find this post very useful on its own.

Previously we have discussed:

  • The theoretical groundwork of what sexual tension is (part 1)

  • How to generate sexual tension (part 2)

  • How to maintain sexual tension by increasing the actual tension (part 3)

In this post, we will discuss maintaining the tension by focusing on building comfort with the girl you are experiencing sexual tension with. Previously we discussed how women tend to release sexual tension because of a low level of comfort compared to the level of tension. The solution proposed was to increase the tension so high that she lets go of her discomfort.

Today we will focus on increasing the comfort level. If you can manage both the tension parameter and the comfort parameter, you are technically in full control!

How to Create Sexual Tension with Women

sexual tension
In Part II of the sexual tension series, Alek lays out prerequisites, rules, and tactics used to build sexual tension with women.

Hey guys, and welcome to the second installment in this series of articles about sexual tension. Last time, we discussed the pillars of sexual tension, which are:

  • Intrigue
  • Mystery
  • A sexual state of mind
  • A state of limbo
  • A natural thing between men and women

We didn’t get much into how it is created or maintained. But now, with the theoretical groundwork in place, you know what sexual tension entails and how you can identify it. This knowledge will, of course, help you generate it, but I believe more practical tools are required to be able to generate sexual tension on command – and do so consistently.

So the way I plan on describing this is to first discuss some quick important factors so that I can dedicate the rest of this post to the most important and most juicy skills. This post will focus on creating sexual tension and will be a purely practical post. My next post will be about how to maintain it (equally important), and will also be purely practical.

Shall we begin?

2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

two steps forward, one step back
Two steps forward, one step back. It’s the magic technique that lets you bypass almost all of her resistance… And it’s not hard to do.

One of the more enduring seduction strategies, and one you’ve seen discussed on this site plenty before (especially in some of Alek’s articles), is that of “two steps forward, one step back.”

You may call it push-pull or fractionation. Or you might call it the zigzag path to victory (victory here being, needless to say, a new lay or new girlfriend). Two steps forward, one step back is, on the surface, a crystal clear, simple system:

  1. First, a bold move forward (e.g., you place your hand on her lower back)

  2. Then, a partial retreat back (to, say, your hand on her upper arm)

  3. Wash, rinse, repeat: go bolder still next time... then another partial retreat. Then again. And again

With this method, you may gradually acclimate a girl to touch, proximity, innuendo, or just about anything else. Yet as simple as it sounds, it is a major mindset shift. To use it well, you must shift from the typical mindset of “gain a toehold, then hang onto it for dear life.”

To help you do this, today we’ll talk about the method, and introduce you to the psychology.

Then, we’ll load you up with examples till you’re plum happy.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. III: Social Vultures

hard target
Women aren’t the only ones who will take you for a ride. Men do it too. Find out how to not get suckered by conniving crooks.

Welcome the third installment in the ‘hard target’ series.

In the first installment, I covered how to be a hard targeting dater, and not get taken for a ride by girls who only want to use you as a friend, meal ticket, network connection, or source of validation.

In Part II, I detailed how to be a hard target in your relationships, and avoid girls who will use you just to rebound, gold-dig, leapfrog over you socially and romantically, or suck the life out of you while they pretend to be in-need.

In this article, we leave dating aside and look at two-timers in general. Not just dates and girlfriends, but anyone you’ll meet in any context. Friends, business contacts, extended family members. How do you make yourself someone who’s hard to take advantage of?

As with the other installments, we’ll look at who the people who seek to take advantage of you are. And I’ll give you a few ways to firm up your sides and be unassailable to these types of folks.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. II: Relationships

hard target relationships
A hard relationship target: the guy who isn’t a pushover in his relationships. Rebounders, damsels in distress, and gold diggers beware.

Last week, I kicked off the ‘hard target’ series with a look at the commonest swindlers you’ll meet when dating. I talked about how to recognize them, what their motives are, and how to counter them. You can read Part I of the hard target series here: How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating.

If you’re just tuning in, a ‘hard target’ is someone who’s not an easy mark for a schemer, predator, two-timer, or manipulator. When a two-timer crosses paths with a hard target, she’ll have a hard time getting anywhere with him. She’ll realize she probably can’t pull one over on him, and either stop trying, or move on to find an easier target.

Being able to recognize those who would use you in ways that don’t benefit you is vital. These individuals will run slipshod on your life if you let them. They often weasel their ways in with charm and ersatz affection, or by causing you to doubt your own intuitions.

In today’s installment of the hard target series, we’ll talk relationships. Namely, how to recognize girls inclined to use you in ways you won’t like. And, how to avoid being used.

As always, my advice if you realize you’re with a girl who’s bad news is “drop her”... However, I realize that’s easier said than done. Once your life is entwined with hers, it can be hard to let go. So, read on, and hopefully we can prevent you getting too deep with a bad news girl before it’s too late... Or give you a few firefighting tactics to limit your exposure to her if it already is.

Tactics Tuesdays: Provisional Commitment as a Dating Tactic

provisional commitment
How do you get a girl who’s resisting you to comply with your request? Provisional commitment: “I’ll give you X if condition Y.”

In Donald Trump’s master class on deal making, The Art of the Deal, Trump often mentions his use of provisional commitments as he assembles deals. For example, he may agree to purchase a given piece of real estate, contingent on him getting regulatory approval for what he wants to build there, being able to purchase an extended lease for the property the real estate sits on, etc. That means that if he can get these things, he gets the deal. If he can’t, the deal is off, and he doesn’t lose anything, or loses very little.

You might think this is just something you’d use in business and legal situations. “My client is willing to testify, contingent upon him receiving...” etc.

Yet the provisional commitment has a slew of uses in the romantic and social arenas as well – assuming you’re not afraid to negotiate with the women you’d like to bed.

How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating

hard target dating
In Part I of the series, we look at the hard target dater: the man who can’t be suckered by friend-seekers, flirts, diggers, or climbers.

In the excellent self-defense book Dead or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term ‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers. If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.

This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?

In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine are:

  1. Dating: when you first meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)

  2. Relationships: once you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with her (next article)

  3. Social Life: non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances, people with connections (third article)

We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.

Tactics Tuesdays: Giving Gifts and Offering Compliance

giving gifts
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more compliant. But you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.

Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys. At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with it.

If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my book), you know how important investment is to doing well with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part compliance series, to wet your whistle:

  1. How to Get Her to Say “Yes”
  2. What If She Says No?
  3. How to Say No to Others and Turn Down Compliance

In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet asks a question about giving compliance to get it:

When we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us? In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.

If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the key yet (they use it in the wrong way).

Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals stories)

Just my theory,
Lawliet

So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.

In his book Influence, Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower) to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in the movie Airplane!:

The thing the Airplane! clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.

The thing it doesn’t tell you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.

Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have a few things to discuss about it, first.

To Be a Fuckboy or Not to Be a Fuckboy

how to be a fuckboy
The fuckboy: a guy who offers little more to women than excitement and sex... Yet whom girls keep coming back to, even if they say the hate him.

“Am I fuckboy?” I ask.

She laughs hysterically over the phone. “Oh yeah, for sure!”

I laugh. I expected this answer, as I’ve heard it from pretty much every other girl I’ve asked.

“You know what, actually,” she interjects, “I would say you’re a fuckboy, but you’re a little bit different. You’re definitely an asshole, but I don’t think you’re a fuckboy. I think it’s because you’re honest. You don’t trick girls. You are pretty straightforward about what you want.”

She’s a smart girl and one of the most loyal and devoted lovers I’ve ever had, so her opinion is more nuanced and, frankly, more important than the other women’s.

Whether through extended social circles or very long and frank discussions about my hobbies, philosophies, and the kindness that I show to friends, family, strangers, and lovers, it seems only those who spend a good amount of time with me have seen the lover beneath the fuckboy.

Yet, most won’t see that. To the majority of those I meet in life, I will be labeled a fuckboy and described as sexist, misogynist, disrespectful to women, and all sorts of nasty things.

I accept these labels if only to spit on those people. Anger and hatred is usually a sign you’re doing something right.

To explore then whether the fuckboy life is right for you, I want you to ask yourself a very simple question after reading this article.

To be a fuckboy? Or not to be a fuckboy?

That is the question.

But first…

How Much Should You Do for a Girlfriend? The Investment Scales

do for a girlfriend
What’s the right amount to do for a girl you date? How do you know if you invest too much or too little? Two measures: boredom and neglect.

Commenting on my article “Early Boyfriend Distinction – She Helps You vs. You Help Her”, a reader asks (emphasis added):

Thanks for another insight article especially about how “dynamics” really work and that as long as you can handle situations in the right dynamics, you can break the rules or at least not follow them strictly. Which brings back to a question I have in terms of giving help to a girl. So just a little background, I’m currently dating an au pair, who is considered a foreigner in this country. So I have helped her with a lot of things such as improving her English, help her with application for status extension/change, plus a number of non-fun items, even though after those items we have fun and sleep together as much as I want. So more of an early boyfriend status. So my question is am i doing too much to help her, have you done an article in terms of when offering help to your girlfriend, what is the right amount or how to gauge when to help and when not to help and just let her do it on her own?

Getting the right balance on how much to do for a girlfriend is an issue for more intermediate daters on up. When many men start out, they pay no attention to a girl’s investment in them, and instead throw as much investment as they can at her to try to woo her. Once they realize this hurts them with her instead of helps, they begin to scale it back. Except, here, they often go too far. How do you get the balance of your investment right, so you do not make her feel either over- or undervalued?

First off, if you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of investment/compliance, or you need a refresher, be sure you’ve read these articles:

Also read the article linked to at the start of this installment. It discusses the crucial questions of “who’s doing what for whom” in terms of the pre-sex courtship.

Having read those, though, you’re likely still left with one tangled up question: how do I know when I’ve invested too much or too little in her?

There’s not an easy answer to this question, but I’ll do my best to prune some of the vines off it for you here and give you a formula you can work with.