Once you enter into the dance of gaming girls, you instantly notice
the avalanche of tests come rolling
down at high speed to crush your
lay of the day. Girls with at least some experience will throw them at
you. The question in the title is one of those big snowballs that you
either avoid like a pro... or suffocate under like a noob.
You’ll especially face this test when you start to go fast with
girls and come across as more of a sexual man.
Let’s first talk about the game situations that lead to this
question and what it tells you about the girl, then we’ll see the
underlying psychology of this question before giving you all the
knowledge to answer it in the best possible way.
In a jam-packed interview, Alek Rolstad shares how to turn girls on
(big time) in bars and nightclubs. He shows you how to escalate touch
to get her excited. He shows you how to decide WHICH girls to approach
(and which girls not to bother with). He shares his approach to dealing
with “wild card” situations, where random elements appear to help or
hinder you.
As you may know, I am currently writing a series on sexual tension.
This is the 4th post so far, and I really recommend you check out the
previous posts before reading this one. But even if you don’t, you’ll
still find this post very useful on its own.
Previously we have discussed:
The theoretical groundwork of what sexual tension is (part 1)
How to maintain sexual tension by increasing the actual tension (part 3)
In this post, we will discuss maintaining the tension by focusing on
building comfort with the girl you are experiencing sexual tension
with. Previously we discussed how women tend to release sexual tension
because of a low level of comfort compared to the level of tension. The
solution proposed was to increase the tension so high that she lets go
of her discomfort.
Today we will focus on increasing the comfort level. If you can
manage both the tension parameter and the comfort parameter, you are
technically in full control!
Hey guys, and welcome to the second installment in this series of
articles about sexual tension. Last time, we discussed the pillars of
sexual tension, which are:
We didn’t get much into how it is created or maintained. But now,
with the theoretical groundwork in place, you know what sexual tension
entails and how you can identify it. This knowledge will, of course,
help you generate it, but I believe more practical tools are required
to be able to generate sexual tension on command – and do so
consistently.
So the way I plan on describing this is to first discuss some quick
important factors so that I can dedicate the rest of this post to the
most important and most juicy skills. This post will focus on creating
sexual tension and will be a purely practical post. My next post will
be about how to maintain it (equally important), and will also be
purely practical.
One of the more enduring seduction strategies, and one you’ve seen discussed on this site plenty before (especially in some of Alek’s articles), is that of “two steps forward, one step back.”
You may call it push-pull or fractionation. Or you might call it the zigzag path to victory (victory here being, needless to say, a new lay or new girlfriend). Two steps forward, one step back is, on the surface, a crystal clear, simple system:
First, a bold move forward (e.g., you place your hand on her lower back)
Then, a partial retreat back (to, say, your hand on her upper arm)
Wash, rinse, repeat: go bolder still next time... then another partial retreat. Then again. And again
With this method, you may gradually acclimate a girl to touch, proximity, innuendo, or just about anything else. Yet as simple as it sounds, it is a major mindset shift. To use it well, you must shift from the typical mindset of “gain a toehold, then hang onto it for dear life.”
To help you do this, today we’ll talk about the method, and introduce you to the psychology.
Then, we’ll load you up with examples till you’re plum happy.
Women aren’t the only ones who will take you for a ride. Men do
it too. Find out how to not get suckered by conniving crooks.
Welcome the third installment in the ‘hard target’ series.
In the first installment, I covered how to be a hard
targeting dater,
and not get taken for a ride by girls who only want to use you as a
friend, meal ticket, network connection, or source of validation.
In Part II, I detailed how to be a hard target in your
relationships,
and avoid girls who will use you just to rebound, gold-dig, leapfrog
over you socially and romantically, or suck the life out of you while
they pretend to be in-need.
In this article, we leave dating aside and look at two-timers in
general. Not just dates and girlfriends, but anyone you’ll meet in any
context. Friends, business contacts, extended family members. How do you make yourself someone who’s hard
to take advantage of?
As with the other installments, we’ll look at who the people who
seek to take advantage of you are. And I’ll give you a few ways to firm
up your sides and be unassailable to these types of folks.
A hard relationship target: the guy who isn’t a pushover in his
relationships. Rebounders, damsels in distress, and gold diggers beware.
Last week, I kicked off the ‘hard target’ series with a look at the
commonest swindlers you’ll meet when dating. I talked about
how to recognize them, what their motives are, and how to counter
them. You can read Part I of the hard target series here: How to be a Hard Target, Pt. I: Dating.
If you’re just tuning in, a ‘hard target’ is someone who’s not an
easy mark for a schemer, predator, two-timer, or manipulator. When a
two-timer
crosses paths with a hard target, she’ll have a hard time getting
anywhere with him. She’ll realize she probably can’t pull one over on
him, and either stop trying, or move on to find an easier target.
Being able to recognize those who
would use you in ways that don’t benefit you is vital. These
individuals will run slipshod on your life if you let them. They often
weasel their ways in with charm and ersatz affection, or by causing you
to
doubt your own intuitions.
In today’s installment of the hard target series, we’ll talk relationships. Namely, how to
recognize girls inclined to use you in
ways you won’t like. And, how to avoid being
used.
As always, my advice if you realize you’re with a girl who’s bad news is “drop her”...
However, I realize that’s easier said than done. Once your
life is entwined with hers, it can be hard to let go. So, read on, and
hopefully we can prevent you
getting too deep with a bad news girl before it’s too
late... Or give you a few firefighting tactics to limit your exposure
to her if it already is.
In Donald Trump’s master class on deal making, The Art of the Deal, Trump often
mentions his use of provisional commitments as he assembles
deals. For example, he may agree to purchase a given piece of real
estate, contingent on him getting regulatory approval for what he wants
to build there, being able to purchase an extended lease for the
property the real estate sits on, etc. That means that if he can get
these things, he gets the deal. If he can’t, the deal is off, and he
doesn’t lose anything, or loses very little.
You might think this is just something you’d use in business and
legal situations. “My client is willing to testify, contingent upon him
receiving...” etc.
Yet the provisional commitment has a slew of uses in the romantic
and social arenas as well – assuming you’re not afraid to negotiate
with the women you’d like to bed.
In the excellent self-defense book Dead
or Alive: The Choice is Yours, Geoff Thompson uses the term
‘hard target’ to describe someone who’s a difficult mark for attackers.
If you’ve read my article on how to be street smart, you know
what I’m talking about (and if you liked that article, you should
probably grab Geoff’s book). Essentially, you can turn yourself into
someone the bad people just don’t want to mess with.
This article kicks off a three-part series on becoming a hard target
not for assault or mugging, but in your romantic and social life. How
do you not get suckered by those who seek to sucker?
In each installment of the series, I’ll address a specific social
arena where men get duped. The areas we’ll examine
are:
Dating: when you first
meet a girl, get to know her, and take her out on dates (this article)
Relationships: once
you’re already together with a girl, in a romantic relationship with
her (next article)
Social Life:
non-romantic encounters in the social arena: friends, acquaintances,
people with connections (third article)
We’ll take a look at why people will try to bilk you, what kinds of
people will do this, and why they try things with some people but not
others. And finally, we’ll talk about becoming a hard target these
people leave alone, and can’t crack if they try.
You can sometimes do things for girls to make them more
compliant. But
you must be strategic in this – and you absolutely can’t supplicate.
Note right up front: this post is for somewhat more advanced guys.
At least intermediate-on-up. You need to be fine saying no to girls and
not have an overwhelming need to please before you’re ready for this
technique. Otherwise, you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself with
it.
If you’re a regular Girls Chase reader (or if you own my
book), you know how important investment is to doing well
with girls. It’s a cornerstone of your success with women. If you’re
just catching up and need an investment primer, here’s my three-part
compliance series, to wet your whistle:
In my article on Donald Trump persuasion, Lawliet
asks a question about giving compliance to get it:
“When
we give others compliance, does that increase their compliance in us?
In social situations with friends? with meeting girls also? What about
in sales? I notice some salesmen help clients do things.
If normally not (ex. Sad shopping guy, helpful guy, horny guy), is
there a way to leverage it so it does? I somehow suspect it can (why
else would so many guys use it as flirting?), but have not decrypt the
key yet (they use it in the wrong way).
Some examples would be great! (love to hear your ancedotals
stories)
Just my theory,
Lawliet”
So, yes – this is absolutely a thing.
In his book Influence,
Robert Cialdini cites the example of giving free stuff (like a flower)
to ask for a donation, a tactic which started at the airport with the
Hare Krishnas – which if you’re too young to remember this scourge on
American airports, as I am, you can still see preserved historically in
the movie Airplane!:
The thing the Airplane!
clip shows you is that this tactic is often pretty grating.
The thing it doesn’t tell
you – and that Cialdini talks about – is that it can be (and in the case of the Hare Krishnas, it was) extremely effective.
Yet before you go running off to use it in your seductions, we have
a few things to discuss about it, first.
