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Female Mind

A look into the way women see love, life, lust, and relationships.

10 Glaring Signs When You've Blown It on a Date

blown it on a date
If you can't tell when you've blown it, it's very hard to fix mistakes. Look for these 10 signs to always be able to tell when you've lost a girl (and why).

Over the years of coaching men to do well with women, I've spotted many key differences between the men who learn fast and the men who flounder.

One of those differences -- the one we'll talk about today -- is the ability to spot the moment in an interaction with a woman where things go from 'filled with potential' to 'crashed and burned'.

No one has a perfect pickup streak for too long. Everyone loses girls, botches courtships, and slips up:

  • You approach a girl a wrong way

  • You say something to her that offends her and turns her off

  • You miss an escalation window she had wide open for you

  • You propose the wrong thing and she declines

  • You're too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, and she leaves in disappointment

Everybody does these things at least sometimes.

However, what I have realized over time -- and it surprised me at first when it really clicked that it was this way for some guys, and that this was the source of many of their struggles -- was that some guys have no idea where they blown it with a girl.

For many guys (myself included), the moment you get too far off track with a girl you get that gut feeling of 'whoops, that might've done it' and you say to yourself, "Oh drat, missed a move / did that wrong. She might be lost."

This is vital to the improvement process, because when you know where you messed up, it is easy to fix the next go-round. You might be able to fix it during this or on your next interaction with the same girl. More likely, if you really have lost her, that girl is lost, but you can do things better next time with an entirely new girl you do not make that mistake with.

For some guys though, these signs things have gone awry are invisible. Every failed date or approach or seduction is a guessing game for such a man: what could have gone wrong? Why didn't it work? He has no idea. He just knows the date didn't work... but somewhere in there, in that two hours he spent with her, she went from 'interested in him' to 'no longer interested in him'. He just doesn't know where or why.

If you want to improve with girls at any rate faster than a sloth crawl, you need to spot the moment you lost a girl. This is sign what tells you where there's something to fix.

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 2

truth about women

Hey guys, and welcome back.

Here’s part two of a remake of my old mASF article from 2009. In this polemic, I reflect on the current state of affairs in the community, and my challenge of the dogma of the time. I decided to remake it not only for nostalgic purposes but also because many thoughts are still valid today.

Of course, I’ve discovered other things as I grew older and more experienced. I also got some ideas wrong then. To make up for this, I will add my “current day” notes in italics.

Part 1 discussed pickup, street pickup, clubs, and my views. This time, I reflect on women, what they want, and what they are like.

I really challenge the current paradigm, and you can see how the perspective of the new paradigm (the school of sexual game) gives alternative explanations and theories. Although it had its flaws (which I will mention in my present-day remarks), it did explain much about value: being high value and communicating value. In my opinion, the sexual game perspective was better, and I still believe it is. It was not perfect then, but I think I’ve managed to explain its many flaws.

Enjoy!

My Truth About Women (And How Most Guys Have It Wrong) Part 1

truth about women

Hey guys. Currently I am writing down my life story from 2007 to today. Doing so, I got immersed in the past and revisited some great moments: crazy stories, amazing women, and all my great revelations about women and the art of seduction.

I also had some good flashbacks from the old mASF (Moderated Alt.Seduction.Fast) boards, the pickup community forum that used to be its main home, hosting all the big names in seduction.

I had joined this community in 2007 at the age of 15. I quickly skimmed through it. Being so young, I was a fast learner. But I also had little life experience, which seemed to be a curse, but it also forced me to think on my own. No experience meant no bias. So, I was always open to seeing the world differently.

I will take credit for being one of the pioneers to introduce "sex talk" not as a necessity to escalate the process into sex, but as a tool for creating attraction and compliance. By this, I mean:

Upon learning how to do these things, one could get laid with a much higher consistency. This was a different approach than what most guys were doing. I was getting plenty of followers, and many older members enjoyed my new, fresh ideas. But these concepts were also prone to criticism for contradicting the current beliefs back then, which included “Don’t verbalize sex.”

Nevertheless, the administrator of the mASF, Formhandle, invited me to join the elite forum called Masterminds, which was available to the public for reading, but where only selected members could post (Chase and Cody were also members).

What I’m sharing today is a remake of my first post there from early 2009 when I was 17. I’ll fix the spelling and may rephrase bad formulations. I'll also include clarifying "notes from the present" to show how my thinking has evolved.

So, here is part 1 of 2 of the remake of the old mASF article that was lost after its decline. Enjoy.

13 Things That Happen When You Date Experienced Women

experienced women
Dating an experienced woman can be a treacherous yet incredibly worthwhile journey. You’ll experience heartbreak and pure ecstasy. Prepare yourself.

I have had the pleasurable misfortune of not only sleeping with many experienced women but also dating one as a serious girlfriend.

And by experienced, I mean promiscuous. She's sexually experienced and has dated lots of guys.

Of course, there can be another definition for experienced.

She might be older and have had a handful of long-term relationships (LTRs). Though, a girl could be young and still have had a lot of boyfriends, even if they weren’t long-lasting relationships.

And even if a girl is older, it doesn’t mean she knows much about dating, but maybe she knows a lot about life. Or she could know a lot about dating but was relatively unslutty and had one or two LTRs.

For this article, then, let’s have three possible definitions of “experienced”:

  1. Older than you
  2. Many lays
  3. Four or more LTRs

Four LTRs is somewhat an arbitrary number, but I’d say four that last longer than a year makes one well-acquainted with relationships (though not necessarily skilled).

And, of course, these definitions are not mutually exclusive. A girl can have some, none, or all these traits.

I’ll address experience via these definitions differently throughout this article in terms of how they can impact your adventure.

How to Communicate and Connect with Women

how to communicate with women
Women don’t communicate like men, and most guys don’t understand that. Let’s boil down the things you should know if you want to stand out as a guy who “gets” her.

Women see the world differently than men do. My experience as a seducer has afforded me the chance to study these differences in great depth. Over time I have witnessed the sheer scale and extent of these differences and how they affect communication. But the ordinary guy is not born with this knowledge, and it is not that easy to grasp in the normal routine of life. I will break down the most significant differences and explain why communication is best done in a certain way to help achieve clarity.

Just like any other guy, I started out thinking: “Whether man or woman, the principles of communication are the same: be honest, talk directly, and expect the same from others.”

When I expected a response from women, I was surprised when women would not respond. On top of this, I expected attraction to work the same way for women as men and predicted they would want sex right away if they liked the look of a guy. So at first, I just asked girls directly if they wanted to go on a date, kiss, or come back to my place.

I can easily imagine my life if I had continued thinking this way. I would never have become capable of discussing profound topics with women and may have NEVER caught on to how to become as adept with women as I am today.

I caught on quickly through several strokes of good fortune.

Tactics Tuesdays: Telling a Girl You're Disappointed in Her

disappointed in youI had a chat the other day with a friend who'd caught his long-time girlfriend in a big lie.

She had promised him before she would not lie to him about the thing.

Well, she did lie.

And my friend wasn't sure how to deal with it.

He's an easygoing guy. And his natural inclination was to be understanding, and not make it a huge deal.

Even though it was, in essence, a pretty important deal.

On the other hand, he also realized if he let his girlfriend's lie slide, it'd be the wrong call... and he'd only be kicking the can down the road to deal with later (possibly in a worse way).

When we talked, he'd made his mind up to angrily confront her. He'd confront her, summon up some fiery anger, tell her caught her lying, and put the fear of God in her. That was the plan. She had to feel she'd done wrong.

He knew he had to enforce some kind of stricture here, or else his girlfriend would run wild.

And yet... he felt the plan was off.

He just didn't know what else to do.

Never Count on a Woman to Change (& Never Think You'll Change Her)

change a womanI talked to a friend recently and told him about a woman I'd dated with a short fuse.

She was in all other respects perfect.

Physically very beautiful. Very smart and highly educated.

Good career. A happy, positive, can-do person, with a charming personality.

More self-improvement-orientated than almost any woman I've met.

However, she had a very short fuse, and various things would set her off.

Once you set her off, she'd fly off into a (self-)righteous rage.

Her rage would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours, then she would calm back down. A little while later she'd be happy again.

This short fuse of hers was inherited. Her father had it. Her elder sister and younger sisters had it. Others in her family did not have it, but those four did. At a family gathering I attended with them, all four set each other off and flew into rages against one another.

The sisters often tried to avoid talking with each other and their parents, solely because of their tendencies to set each other off like that. Everything else about their relationships were fine, but the anger they all boiled over into did not well mix.

I did everything I could, within reason, over the time I dated this girl to cure her of this fuse.

I thought for a while that with proper operant conditioning, I'd break her of her temper.

I was wrong, and nothing I did was a permanent fix.

The friend I mentioned this to is an optimistic guy who is good at approaching new women, but has trouble bedding them and hanging onto them. His relationships never work out. He's one of the 'hard case' guys I know and have talked about before on Girls Chase. It's hard to put your finger on it with him, but there are many little things it often seems like he does not really 'get'.

When I talked about some of the details of this relationship with him, he told me "Well, it sounds like you set up a pattern early on where this type of behavior was acceptable."

He added that it "sounds like you were encouraging this" or "maybe you subtlely like this."

He then admitted he'd dated a few dramatic women before, but "I quickly showed them I wouldn't tolerate that and they stopped doing it."

It was a little pop armchair psychology that on the surface sounds really good. Somebody does something you don't like? Just make it clear it's unacceptable, and she'll stop for good! Don't be weak or invite it back in, and you'll never have to deal with it again!

But, as I told him, people are a lot richer and more complex than this... and you simply wanting a behavior to change, and putting a few behavior modification procedures in place to try to change it, does not ensure you'll get the change you want.

Especially not long-term.

Far from it.

Rather, while you should do what you can to get your woman to change any undesirable behavior she has, you should never count on a woman to change... and you should never think you'll change her.

Make Girls Chase: 3 Crucial Rules to Follow

make girls chaseThere's a movie out there, which I still have not watched, called The Tao of Steve.

In it, a schlubby, overweight kindergarten teacher beds scads of beautiful women by adhering to a 3-rule philosophy.

The movie itself isn't fiction.

It's based on a real-life schlubby kindergarten teacher named Duncan North who, just like the film's protagonist, lays women with the same three rules.

While I haven't seen the film, its 3-rule philosophy intrigued me when I read it.

I realized when I came across it, it was the same philosophy I followed as a middle school and high school student.

When I used it, I had all the prettiest girls in school -- from the super popular head cheerleaders to the slutty grungy punk girls -- chasing after me.

I gave the philosophy up when it stopped working for me in university. My school was too big, my opportunities to make this approach work too small, and I eventually shifted over to a much more active path in the pursuit and bedding of women.

But the Steve approach absolutely works, given the right conditions.

It makes women downright chase after you.

And if you know what you're doing with it, you can apply it in all kinds of situations.

Good Game Means Communicating like a Hot Girl, Part 2

sexy masculinity
Good game means adopting certain behaviors that come easy to women. But to attract women, you must balance this by maintaining a dominant, masculine presence.

Welcome to Part 2 of this series about how to adopt certain aspects of female behavior to improve your seduction game.

In Part 1, we discussed the elements of each behavior or quality to help manage a girl’s social frame. Now we’ll discuss how to do this while maintaining your masculine edge, allowing you to connect to a woman’s biological core and spark intense attraction.

We’ll look at how you can text in a masculine manner, behave like the man she wants, and how to talk like an attractive, dominant man.