Confidence | Page 14 | Girls Chase

Confidence

How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

The Problem with Gaming Girls You Don't Like

girls you don't like
It’s good practice to chat up girls you aren’t much into. But what happens when your ego gets involved? You mustn’t let girls you don’t want affect you.

I had a bit of a breakthrough recently. It was almost childish that this was a lesson I hadn’t truly integrated into my psyche, though I’ve understood it conceptually for the longest time. Hell, it was a flaw that I had fixed in a few of my coaching clients, to their benefit, but I thought I had moved past it.

‘Tis the blinding power of pride. You think you know something because you understand it backwards and forwards, but it’s a very different thing to know something on the cellular level – to feel it.

What was this lesson?

Don’t game girls you don’t really like.

Seems simple enough, right? Duh.

But not so quick... let’s set some groundwork.

If You Want to Do Well with Girls, Fundamentals are Everything

fundamentals are everything
Your game and your mindsets (inner game) are important. But the only thing women see and experience firsthand is your fundamentals.

This is one of my axioms of game. I consider it true on a biblical level.

Game is fundamentals.

Traditionally, we think of fundamentals as that which attracts bitties.

Your face. Your fashion. Your muscles. Your walk. Your voice.

These get your foot in the door. She’s interested enough to give you a hint that she wants to talk, be it a smile or a prolonged stare, and she’ll give you a good shot once you approach.

Afterwards, you spit game and try to amplify the already established attraction into arousal and lead her to bed.

Fundamentals get her interested. Game gets you inserted.

How are they equal, then?

12 Things Every Man Should Have Handled by Age 35

things men should have handled
There’s a lot to focus on in life, and little guidance. Where should you concentrate your efforts? To these 12 key areas: women, money, strategy, and more.

I’ve had guys ask me over the years what areas of their lives to focus on outside of women. And younger guys have asked what they ought to have handled as they get older. Society’s grown more complex than at perhaps any other time in history, due to myriad factors. However, one of the biggest factors has been the near-total abandonment of preparing young people for what to expect in life.

In place of lessons and guidance, we give them feel-good Hollywood films and vapid platitudes. Things that for prior generations were known and expected in life are surprises for the generations now coming of age, left to their own devices to figure these things out (or not).

So I’ve worked to set out a list here of the 12 most important things for a man to have handled before he turns 35. If you’re young, these are the items in life you need to concentrate your energy on. If you’re older and you haven’t handled all these yet, it’s not too late to start. This isn’t a list designed to make you ‘feel bad’ if you haven’t accomplished these yet – this article isn’t about ‘feelings’. This article is about masculine concerns: what areas of your life can you work on that will improve your life?

The more work you do on these 12 areas, the better your life will be.

If your life is already awesome, improve these areas and it will become more awesome. If it’s less than awesome, improve these areas and you will change that too. Note that some men have some degree of natural ability in some of these areas. But no one is a natural at them all – and every man has room to improve in each.

Becoming the Beast, Part 5: A Suit-Wearing Wolf

suit-wearing wolf
Inside every man is a beast. Yet how to use this beast in the context of civilization? In civil society, the man must tame his beast – but not kill it.

The end is nigh.

  • In part 1 of this series, we discussed how we live in a primal and violent world that has little mercy for weakness.

  • In part 2, we talked about how you need to cultivate a primal ferocity if you want to survive in this world, let alone thrive. This ferocity helps you socially and sexually.

  • In part 3, we covered some habits and mannerisms that will help you cultivate and demonstrate your ferocity.

  • Then, in the penultimate article, we covered how to transmute this animalistic energy into the bedroom and make your girl’s bed rock like a Flintstone.

Now, for the culmination of the series, I want to cover how to be primal but civilized and how to understand the difference between cold, civilized power and primal power.

How to Make Small Talk Magical (Video)

Fundamentals are the vehicle for your game. Game, being nothing more or less than the ability to get someone to do what you want, is itself verbal, but the performance of a seduction includes much more than that. It's the way you speak and the way you act. Very often, it's not what you say, but what you don't say.

A fun playground to practice your fundamentals is small talk. Since small talk doesn't have the intrinsic "deep value" of deep diving, you need to spice it up a bit. How do you do that?

Fundamentals.

The "I've Got to Wait for Girls to Meet Me" Thing

wait for her to approach
Do you wait for girls to approach you? It may be scary to approach women yourself, but waiting for them to ask first is a losing proposition.

One of the members of our forum has talked about his strategy of waiting for girls to meet him, and then spitting game at them. It doesn't seem to work well for him, since he is perpetually single and has been hung up on the same girl for over a year, hoping every time she breaks up with a boyfriend that maybe she'll pay more attention to him.

Nevertheless though, he's committed. He ignores all the advice from every other member on there and from me that he forget this girl and go meet new ones. This is his strategy, and he's decided to stick to it.

I don't think there are a lot of guys who are 100% into this strategy of “I've just got to wait for women to come meet me”, like Neal is. But there are guys who slip into this some or a lot of the time. So we should talk about it.

Because even while objectively this is about as effective as thinking, “I've just got to wait for the money to come to me,” or, “I've just got to wait until a Ferrari shows up in my driveway,” subjectively it can feel like a valid strategy at the time when you're thinking it.

But it's not a valid strategy. It's a terrible strategy.

Becoming the Beast, Part 3: How to Act and Look Like a Beast

act like a beast
In Part 3, we get into the details of beasthood. How does a man become a beast? By uncivilizing himself, and primalizing himself.

This is Part 3 of a series (Part 1, Part 2).

We live in a primal world.

We know that we have to cultivate a ferocity through pain and asceticism.

But how do we actually act like a beast?

If you'd like, you can rewire the entire way you exist to be more primal. Women will love and respect you for it. And men will respect and fear you for it.

There are many passive and active behaviors you can embrace to unleash the inner beast.

10 Breakthrough Lessons from 10 Years Picking Up Girls

lessons from picking up girls
Non-linearity, study vs. practice, ethics, and fun... these are just 4 of 10 transformative lessons from a decade of picking up girls.

This weekend is special to me – very special to me. It was in October 2007 that I, after unfortunately catching a serious kidney infection, had a whole new world open up to me that would change my life forever.

I was 14 back then, a normal teenager who was a nobody in school. Life was not that fun; it was not special. Just an ordinary life for a teenager. There was some trauma when I was being bullied at 13, but that changed after I moved. Nevertheless, up till then, I never felt like the guy I desired to be. I saw all these popular kids having it all easy, whereas I was just a nobody.

It was in that autumn of 2007 when I caught a throat infection that spread to my kidney. I was away from school for a while. I was bored to death, could not really go out, and was even hospitalized. A good friend of mine bought me a book one day, as reading was more or less the only thing I could do at the time – I felt too weak to get up and play computer games. Back then, I considered reading to be something old people did, but this book surely caught my attention.

It was the infamous book The Game by Neil Strauss. This was just prior to the pickup artist boom, when pickup and seduction became mainstream and there was still an active ongoing community that was pretty closed off to the public. Many of these places were open to the public, sure – if you happened to discover them – but you had to play by the rules. You had to follow their strict philosophy, and there was no room for keyboard jockeying (writing about stuff you had no experience with) or whining (“I cannot get laid because of X reason”) or supplication toward a particular woman (“There is this special girl I met…”). That last one was called oneitis, to which the prescription was GFTOW, which stood for “Go find ten other women.”

I personally got pretty seduced by all this. My motivation seemed congruent with the overall philosophy of that community – to learn the techniques and master an understanding of social interaction that was almost mathematical. It was all about technicalities, sometimes down to the sickest details. And guess what? I loved it back then, and I love it even more now, because after these 10 years, it has become clear to me that those who are technical about this whole seduction thing BECOME MACHINES, or rather, weapons of mass seduction.

Want to Make Progress in the Game? Do Your Homework

do your homework
Some men practice game for years and don’t improve. When you zoom in on why, it’s almost always because they don’t do their homework.

Here’s the truth. To improve your skills with getting women, you can go all out. You can “burn a bar to the ground” night after night, approaching every girl from 4 to 10 on the scale, but if you have no direction, you will inevitably end up spinning your wheels.

And I’m surprised that I so rarely see anyone take the time to sit down and really look at things with a logical eye. Well, in this article, I am going to reveal how I myself have reached an elite level by doing what every young kid hates – homework.

I have friends who have not seen much progress despite their interest and having shared my journey from my beginning to where I am now. They still do the same openers, the same half-assed, timid approaches. Yet they keep asking me what’s wrong with them and why nothing is changing.

Their issue isn’t simply that they haven’t learned from their failures, it’s that they don’t recognize their failures. Sometimes, it’s nearly impossible to identify what is causing our own failures. It’s the same for us all; everyone has essential things they don’t know they don’t know. It can be difficult to connect a reaction or rejection with something you did wrong, even over several approaches. So how can one find the puzzle pieces that are missing?