Pickup Tech

Power, often thought of one of the driving forces behind man’s will (see Nietzsche's concept of “der wille zur macht”) to live.

We see it every day, and it invades our interactions as well as influencing our every action.

Take a look at a couple of these scenarios:

Scenario A

A man walks into his boss’s office and requests a raise. He gets turned down.

Another man walks into the same room and proposes a similar offer, with the intention of walking away. He instead gets the raise.

Scenario B

Two students are studying together, the girl mentions, “You’re a good friend.”

The male rejects the notion of just friends, and begrudgingly utters, “Friends? Hardly.”

Scenario C

Two friends are together chatting in high spirits, when a cohort suddenly comes along.

“Ah, are you this little boy’s friend?” one girl asks flippantly.

The male looks at her slowly, as if only realizing that she might be talking to him. “Who?” he powerfully and quizzically asks almost as if in genuine confusion.

The girl corrects herself, “A-ah, are you this guy’s friend?”

... can you see it more clearly now?

It’s not until you reach the upper echelon of dominance that you start to cherry-pick these shifts of power (hence force called a power shift) out from everyday situations, and are able to take advantage of navigating through the ever-changing tides of social dominance.

But using power shifts, and maintaining an air of respect and power about oneself can be taught and learned, and in today’s article I’m going to pull off the veil that shrouds these common occurrences in subtlety and nuance from the eyes of those who haven't paid as much attention to them yet.

Back on the article about gym pickup, The Tool (one of our forum members as well) commented in asking about ways he could meet girls in the gym as a member of the staff, without overstepping professional boundaries:

“It was 8 am and this girl wanted to Tan and she had another hour before she could tan (24 hour law) so she begged and i told her to wait another hour, she stayed in the locker room and came out an hour later, she asked If she could tan yet, I told her 5 more minutes and asked her "so what brings you to the gym this early on a saturday? working out before work or to flirt with the guy at the front desk? She said Haha I am not. I said "you totally are and now your lieing about it...jeeze." she said haha I guess I am. anyway jist of it I deepdived a bit and got her digits saying your a cool girl we should get some coffee sometime. she said sure and baddabing.

Anyway as a staff member things like this are risky for I can lose my job if it was ever found out or I made it awkward for a girl. So would you advise that those guys who are in fact the staff not try to pick up girls at their own gym? ”

My advice to The Tool was to use barriers to get these girls chasing him; it was, in effect, this: be a challenge to women.

In the article excerpt from my eBook entitled "How to Challenge Women," I discussed why you want to be challenging women, how it helps you, and what the potential risks are if you take it too far. And I offered a few strategies from the book on not being too little of a challenge.

But what about really being a challenge to women? Is it possible to use conversation and communication to set things up so that women are pursuing you, regardless of whether they were or weren't at first?

Sure, it's absolutely possible.

And, it's a heck of a lot easier than you might think.

Today I want to share with a post on eliminating resistance through prevention, and freeing up the women around you to be excited by you.

I want to start out by saying... I’m the LAST person who should be writing this article on how to prevent resistance and actually excite women about saying “yes” (to everything you want them to say “yes” to) -- but the same thing that makes me the last person who should be writing it, also makes me exactly the right man for the job.

What do I mean by this?

As you may know from my previous articles (especially the one on weight loss for men), I wasn’t always exactly the most attractive guy around. I was overweight, unattractive, and the worst of it: I sucked with women.

Strangely, as I grew out of this, and started to refine my fundamentals, becoming progressively more “attractive” meant I started to have even more issues with women... not less.

I became less seductive, and had trouble getting my way. Women were flighty with me, and often trying to burst my bubble. Challenges from girls were around every corner, as if I were being given a pop quiz.. every 5 minutes. Auto-rejection was an ever-present threat, and I had my hands full trying to figure out why girls would drop off the face of the earth when they had just a day prior gave me many compliments. They were slow to move, and had trigger fingers when it came to throwing up walls of resistance to my advances.

These girls were clearly attracted to me; I knew this as the attention I was getting was nowhere near what I had prior to losing weight. Not even close.

But what’s going on here? It sounds like auto-rejection, but it isn’t really... It wasn’t so much that they were ejecting from my presence... but rather challenging it full force as if they had to. Like:

Me: Why are we having platitudes?

Her: We aren’t exchanging platitudes. Was that your word of the day? A little awkwardly used.

Erk... great job, Eric.

In this case, it wasn’t normal testing; and it wasn’t normal auto-rejection. It wasn’t either of those things.

What was it?

It was resistance, and as it turned out, I had been the one causing it. Often you’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “follow the path of least resistance.” Well, I was no stranger to the flip side of this concept... that is to say, taking things down completely the WRONG (resistance-paved) roads.

Today, I’m going to share with you my journey from unattractive, to attractive-but-failing, and then finally: suave... and I’m going to show you how to dispel resistance, not by dealing with it, but by cutting off the root of the problems that cause it to arise in the first place, so that you can excite women instead, and get them saying “yes” to you with relish and abandon.

Of course, you’ve got to be able to identify the symptoms before you can figure out what’s resistance and what isn’t - so that’s where we’ll begin today: with identifying the signs of a woman in resistance to you.

In "Girl Changes Her Mind Too Much? Try This," Maxz asks this:

“Speaking of indecision, I had a question for you. I recently had two girls who I was trying to bed ask me if I had a Girlfriend? I told each girl "I was not exclusive to any one woman".

One of the Girls who had agreed to come over to my place flaked the next day saying she could not make it because she had suddenly got sick though I am certain she was not. Do you think her flaking was a response to my answer? As I think this girl was trying to put me in the BF category and my answer I thought put me out of that label.”

He's right here that you don't want to simply up and answer "Do you have a girlfriend?" in the normal yes/no way that most men do. A straight "yes" or "no" robs you of any intrigue, puts the control of the interaction clearly into the asker's hands, and just generally makes things a lot less interesting.

Plus, whether you say "yes" or "no," it's easy for either one to say something bad about you:

• If "yes," that you're 'off the market' and not available (or some sleazy guy who sneaks around behind his girlfriend's back if you try anything)
  

• If "no," that you're not preselected by other women and there must be something wrong with you (why don't other women want you?)

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. But if you tell her "I'm not exclusive," well, that has problems too - now you're seen as some freewheeling wild man who's either immature or "not what she's looking for" much of the time.

How on Earth do you answer this?

In Sunday's article on how to be smooth, Walls made the following comment:

“I truly appreciate all the work you do breaking this down, Chase. It would be so easy to just own this info you learned from years of trial and error and just monopolize it. I was thinking about smoothness in conflict due to this life-changing post and it got me thinking: when do you let comments/threats/faux paus/annoyances roll down your back, and when do you actually put opposers in their place? And what is the best way to ignore when people make fauxpas, such as the ones in your article "Faux Pas of the Social Neveaux." (maybe more faux pas listed too?)”

He's talking about two things here, but the two are in many ways one and the same:

1. When someone is standing in opposition to you, accusing you, or insulting you

2. When someone is making social mistakes around you and creating awkward or disadvantageous situations for you

That is, in other words, when someone is making things challenging for you. And he is asking the question "How do you answer a challenge?"

It's a good question, because it has an answer that can go a variety of ways. Do you remain unreactive to it - and potentially let the challenge eat your chances alive? Or do you challenge your challenger back, and potentially lose your cool - and the girl you were most interested in?

This is a question without a readily apparent simple answer... and sometimes those are the questions we like most on this site. How do you answer a challenge, anyway?

Lately we've had a number of readers asking about more ways to talk to women and keep the conversation going. Here's JFav, answering the question of what he'd like to see in the new forum's bonus book:

“Love to see something on keeping the conversation going. Some strategies a newbie could possibly use to deep dive.”

Wanting to know more about conversation, particularly for newer guys.

And on the recent article about how to pick up girls shopping, Maxz commented:

“Hey Chase, another rocking article.

Question for you man, I have been having problems on the conversational aspect of the game lately. When you talk about deep diving and all, is it all about asking girls qestions about themselves? I can't seem to truly crack this nut. Some of the girls I have talked to lately, we usually just end up in strange silences at some point in the conversation. What kind of easy probing questions will you suggest to carry on these conversations?

Thanks Chase, love every single lessons on here.”

I referred Maxz to a few articles to help him get his bearings, but I realize that a lot of guys need a more basic layout of how to talk to women properly than is laid out in the article on deep diving or being a conversationalist.

So, today's article has been put together to be exactly that: talking to women for beginners (with a few neat tips thrown in here and there to spice things up for the old pros), broken down into four lessons with five points each - a total of 20 ways to talk to women and make it go swimmingly.

Let's dive in.

It's the holiday season, and that means one thing: time to pick up girls out shopping!

If you don't have much experience picking up women who are out shopping for shoes or shellfish, you might think this is rather hard... I mean, walking up to some girl in the middle of a well-lit store and just... hitting on her? Isn't that obvious?

Actually, there are a number of more-or-less smooth ways of going about running pickups in shopping areas, whether malls or shops or grocery stores. A bit of a sense of humor and a good handle on indirect game helps; while you can use direct openers out shopping, they often come off a bit too strong.

Mostly, what you'll be focused on creating in a shopping environment is a feeling of fate, fortune, or destiny... you and the girl met because you simply had to meet. It was written in the stars.

Today, we'll talk about how you go about creating that feeling, and help you bring some holiday cheer into the lives of some beautiful, lonely women out in the wide world.