Pickup Tech

My girl looked at me with a devilish smile and said: “I can’t make it on Thursday... I’m already going on a date then… with your best friend.”

She was obviously completely off her rocker.

Like most strippers, if we’re honest.

Seriously… where do I FIND these girls?

The answer, in her case, was probably not what you’d expect… I had met her at the mall, and I had picked her up during the day.

You see, one of the things about day game or transit game or any other form of “any-woman-anywhere-pickup” is that it’s like a box of chocolates… you never know what you’re going to get. One girl’s single, one says she has a boyfriend… and the next one just throws you curve balls like this.

During the day, you’ll meet the sexy librarian whom you can have a truly interesting conversation with after sex… the girl that knows what “confabulation” is and never sets foot in a club.

She is off-limits to all the guys who have never built the confidence to approach girls without alcohol… I have those ladies all to myself. (Though the more I keep blogging, the more I’ll have to share them with you! ;) )

But you also meet the crazy, nymphomaniac club girls during the day… and pole dancers that are completely insatiable sexually and that will keep waking you up all night urging you to do it a sixth time please!

I’ll tell you more about this girl in a minute, and why she told me that she was going on a date with my friend… but first, let me introduce you to this new article series, by talking about the kinds of crazy things you’ll run into when you’re out meeting women, and why you shouldn’t put much stock in what women say one way or the other about whether they have a boyfriend or not.

It doesn’t always mean what you think it does… chicks aren’t angels, you know.

I've been with my fair share of "attached" women before - that's girls with boyfriends and girls with husbands. As I've mentioned before, the way I see it, there's always some guy, SOMEWHERE who's going to be angry you're sleeping with a girl - whether he's her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, her husband, or just some guy who's already "called dibs" on her and you moved faster, it doesn't matter - somebody somewhere is upset that you're with "his" girl. So you can either spend time worrying if some man you don't know will have his feelings hurt if you sleep with a woman who wants you, or you can sleep with a woman who wants you and figure that if someone is upset about her for sleeping with someone else, well, that's between that person and her.

And if she was REALLY his, there's not a thing you could've done to get her... trust me.

By the same coin, it doesn't bother me a lick when men are trying to get a girl *I'm* seeing. If you're dating a beautiful girl, men will want her, and men will try to get her. More power to them for trying. And hey, if she DOES give you the slip for some other cat, you can take that as strong evidence that either you weren't doing things right with her, or she wasn't the kind of girl who believes much in loyalty and fidelity, or you're dealing with some combination thereof (usually it's some combination thereof).

Lately though, I've been seeing some pretty lame attempts by men trying to get my girlfriend. And it's made me (and my girlfriend) realize: most men have no idea what to do when a girl has a boyfriend and they like her.

In an effort to stem the tide of lame attempts men make to get girls with boyfriends, I've put together a list here of the top 3 things TO do, and the top 7 things NOT to do when you're trying to get a girl who's got a guy. After reading this list you will, I hope, be in a much better position to avoid making these mistakes - and avoid ending up in time-wasting or worse situations with attached women, too.

Ever hear of push-pull? It's one of the more versatile tools you can employ to help you get girls more easily and reliably. It's also one of the least-understood tools out there... how many people reading this article right now can offer a clear, coherent explanation of what push-pull really is?

Probably not too many of them.

What push-pull is, though, is intrigue, attraction, and emotional spiking wrapped up into one package. It's a means of ratcheting up a woman's interest, and it's one entirely under your control and not dependent on any given prompt or reaction from her.

In other words, it's one of seduction's dragon slayers - one of the best ways you can transform women with noses in their air to women tearing down your door.

And it doesn't require that you have any special skills or abilities. Only that you have enough self-control to pull it off... and that's why it's so attractive.

Most men don't.

Let's begin by looking at why.

Note from Chase: Colt first got in touch with me almost two months ago to tell me he'd gotten a great deal out of reading the blog and the book here and asked if he might contribute something. My response to this was, "Let's see what you've got, kid!" So he sent along the following article. Here it is, with but a few edits, Colt's first post as a "Student of the Game." Below, please let us know if you've enjoyed hearing from a newer guy who's doing well yet still working out a few of the kinks in his approach toward women and if you'd like to see more from Colt in the future.

When I first started actively approaching women, I had a million voices in my head telling me that I couldn’t succeed with women, that I shouldn’t succeed. How could a regular guy like me be able to charm women like Casanova? If every other man in the world had, at best, mediocre success with girls, why would I do any better? I didn’t want to step out of the norm... I didn’t even know how.

Deep down, every man, I believe, wants to be unique. Every man wants to show women why they should choose him and nobody else. But believing that you can succeed can be a hard roadblock; taking the first step isn’t always easy. If you’ve had difficulty with taking the first step, chances are that’s why you are on this site. And if that’s the case, this post is for you.

Many people believe that it doesn’t matter much what you say to a girl when you chat her up… that 93% of all communication is nonverbal anyway, and that the words are just filler. Thus, any sexual frame you employ should be more focused on your body language and less so on your words… they just aren’t as important, goes the thinking.

This is a misunderstanding of Mehrabian’s study, which showed that somebody’s body language and tone of voice account for 93% of our LIKING for that person… it does not, however, mean that the spoken word only convey 7% of the meaning of any communication.

“Liking” is also largely irrelevant when it comes to seduction – girls will often sleep with and even get into relationship with guys that they don’t particularly like… attraction beats liking, hand over fist, every time.

And if it was true that words only conveyed 7% of what’s being communicated, it should be perfectly possible to watch a movie in a foreign language and still understand 93% of what is being said…

Try that some time. :)

If it was true, it should also be possible to tell a girl to bugger off… and get a 93% similar response as when telling her that she’s pretty.

There is, however, a more subtle reason why words matter… and that reason is frames, and the implications of what is being said.

So what are frames and frame control now?

Well, let’s look at some examples.

A couple of years ago, there was a huge debate going on in the Dating Advice Community… should you follow a structure when you go out to meet a girl, or should you just improvise to develop your “natural” abilities to seduce her? In a way, this is like a debate between science and art… between the left brain and the right.

And, this debate has actually been settled decades ago, in a different context… watch this clip from time index 1:00.

“It’s a combination of both. Here is the natural instinct, and here is control. You are to combine the two in harmony. If you have one to the extreme, you will be very unscientific. If you have another to the extreme, you become all of a sudden a mechanical man… no longer a human being. So it is a successful combination of both… so therefore it’s not pure naturalness or unnaturalness, the idea is unnatural naturalness, or natural unnaturalness.” – Bruce Lee.

So, let’s have a look at both sides of the coin when it comes to seduction and even to learning new skills in general, and let’s find the best way to marry the two concepts of learned structure and intrinsic ability.

For my first few years actively learning how to get girls, there was one thing I struggled with above all else: how to be attainable. Value I understood; be an attractive, high-value man, and women will want you. Investment was straightforward enough; get people putting in more work, and they'll come to value you more highly.

But how the heck did attainability work? I couldn't get my mind around it. I got the concept logically, but emotionally I was still checked out.

I had no clue how to really be attainable. I couldn't even figure out how to tell if not being attainable enough was my problem... or if I was coming across lower in value, or I needed to get more investment.

The excerpt I chose for today's excerpts post covers some of the ground floor stuff on attainability. This selection is from my eBook, How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams, and in it, we go into the four essentials you need to know to properly manage your attainability (and keep from sending women into auto-rejection [you're too unattainable] or just friends [you're too attainable]).