Pickup Tech

Want an easy way to get girls to come join you on an instant date or back home? This advanced invite works even if she’s on the fence.

One of my favorite invites is the “come join me” invite. It’s flexible, fun... and surprisingly nuanced.

I actually spent years experimenting with this invite, with it often falling flat. It took me the longest time to pinpoint what the problem I was having was, too.

I’d chat with a girl, it’d go great, and then it’d be time to change venues or invite her home. And I’d say:

Me: Hey, I’m going to go [do whatever]. Come join me.

And the girl I was talking to would nearly always respond with:

Her: Thank you, but I think I’m going to just [go do whatever].

Occasionally I’d get a “yes” or a “yeah, okay, sure.” But most of the time she’d beg off.

And then one day I figured it out.

A girl who’s in auto-rejection gets cold and snubs you. To turn it around and effect a recovery, you must use this 4-step formula.

This is a firefighting post.

I say that because if you do things right you won’t have to fix anything. But we all make mistakes.

On my article about screening girls for same-day lays, a reader asks:

“About that girl giving massive iois and i didnt approach due to exams coming up.. Its difficult to go into social mode when you have your head in books all day since over a month. And to top it all off, she has gone cold.. typical auto rejection, which is my main sticking point for sometime now. She gave me massive blatant in my face AIs but i failed to take action. Price paid. Very frustrating. I have read all your articles on auto rejection.

[...]

Please come up with some technique to turn around auto rejection as its seems impossible once girls go in that territory. You advised value boosts and preselection to turn around auto rejections but would not those make us seem more unattainable and worsening auto rejection as she sees me with other girls and thinks she wasnt good enough? Thoughts?

I was reading your old forum posts and you said not to accept responisbility for her reactions as it make you seem weak. What in this situation when her ego is hurt? Will accepting responsibility that i wanted to come talk to her earlier but could not due to exams better the situation or worsen it? Or should i blame it all on her that its difficult to approach you as you have a lot of security around? ;) (Her parents or brothers are chaperoning her mostly). How about opening with i know i should have come earlier but.. ‘launching into reasons’? This seems like obsessing but i just want to get your take on it.

Is it better to go in as soon as you sense a girl is auto rejecting or give a time gap and re-engage later? And is it possible to turn around their opinions of yourself after ghosting for a while or once its set they see you that way whole life no matter what.. even years later?

Why doesn’t chasing work when the girl is AR? Shouldn’t her hurt ego feel relieved as being chased is an ego boost?”

Auto-rejection. If you’ve just tuned in, that’s when a girl feels like she can’t get you... So rejects you before you reject her. It’s a response that lets her shield her ego from a guy she thinks doesn’t like or respect her.

It’s also one of the hardest issues to fix. Particularly if you’ve just met.

Yet, there’s opportunity there too. Because if you can fix the mistake, her passion for you goes through the roof.

Sometimes if you’re nice to a girl, that isn’t actually what she wants. She may want nice or she may want tough... it depends on where she’s at.

For most of 2015, I took an interesting route with my behavior.

I knew that attainability was a big barrier for most girls. They knew I was a player or heard about me being a player. Plus, I’d already come so far with my curve into becoming a Genuine Man (and you can read my massive 10 article series on that journey).

So, I decided to test the boundaries of niceness. How completely sweet, caring, and doting could I be with a girl and still dominate her, turn her on, and ravage her like a savage animal?

The answer? Very.

An interaction can go from meeting her to sleeping with her with nothing but smiles, sweet words, loving staring contests, and incessant compliments. Even if she has a borefriend, too (always thought you needed to position yourself as a careless asshole to juxtapose against his capitulating and needy behavior).

However, I also went a bit too far in my niceness. I let girls act aloof, sassy, bitchy, and rude, with no consequence whatsoever. I even got friend-zoned a few times because of this, which hasn’t happened in a while (but was very funny to see).

I needed to get some edge back. So I decided to, well, become a bit of a prick again. And now that I consciously did so, from the ground up, I clearly see why dickish behavior works (and when and how it doesn’t).

This should be a fun one.

Slightly advanced. Not too advanced. This should be fine for intermediates on up.

So, this revolves around not boyfriend zoning yourself when screening girls for something quick.

As you may know if you read this site regularly, it’s good and important to screen girls:

• Book Excerpts: What to Screen Women For
• Why You Always Date the Wrong Person
  

... and after you screen, it’s important to qualify:

• Is Qualifying Women Really That Important?
  

Screening and qualifying is important for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is making sure you end up with girls you’ll be happy to be with.

Another reason it’s important though is for making a girl feel like there’s a reason you like her. If she feels like you are trying to sleep with her and she doesn’t understand why, you’re going to end up with attainability problems on your hands (because she’s going to follow Occam’s Razor and assume if you’re interested in her without communicating a good reason for being interested in her, it’s simply because she’s a random piece of ass).

So, you’ve got to screen.

Yet how you screen – particularly when you’re trying to put together something fast – is important.

Over the years, I’ve urged you to do less for girls and not be so eager to please:

• Can I Help You?
• The Law of Least Effort
  
• The Sad Tale of “Shopping Guy”
• Sprezzatura, Effort, and Investing
  
• The Early Boyfriend: Why It’s a Bad Idea
• How to Be an Asshole – and Become Adored by Women
• It’s Not Your Investment in Her; It’s Hers in You
  
• 12 Traits All Boring, Unsexy Nice Guys Have in Common
• Why Nice Guys are Boring to Women
• Why Nice Guys Finish Last
  

Some of the other writers on this site have urged you to do this as well:

• The Magic Word that Gets You More of What You Want
• How to Break Free from Your White Knight Mindset
• Tapping Flow Rate and Process for Scads of New Girls
  
• Hector’s 10-Part “Genuine Man” Series
  

Yet, there is a flip side to this too; and that is that the man who is too stingy with his effort appears petty, tryhard, and socially stunted.

If you’re too much of a compliance miser, girls sense it’s because you fear being too nice. Which can send them into auto-rejection... when they realize you’re deliberately refusing to do for them out of a desire to hold onto power and control (as opposed to, say, not doing for them because you just don’t comply a lot because you’re a free man, outcome independent, and do only what you want to do).

What’s the right balance to strike, then?

How much should you do for girls... as opposed to how much should you not?

That’s what this article is about: how to strike the right balance with your effort.

Hey guys!

Here is another reflection of mine. Lately I have discussed with other well-experienced seducers about “meaningfulness” in seduction – a topic that has really caught my attention lately.

What is the meaning of all this?

Many men tend to look at this in a very black and white fashion – as in either sleeping with lots of different women or settling down with one particular girl.

Truth is, it doesn’t have to be that black and white. This post will briefly discuss the pros and cons before covering an alternative to those forms of lifestyle – a lifestyle I and a few other seducers are discussing or even endorsing.

I do not usually like posting about this kind of stuff, because I feel the more advanced things cater to a very small percentage of guys and I know most benefit more from studying more of the basics.

But, I want to keep everyone awake with something fun, so here is a cool technique I have taken and perfected from one of my mentors. Enjoy!

What I call a ‘Buying Temperature Spike Loop’ (it’s a mouthful, I know!) is a grouping of different techniques put together and arranged to cycle (loop) through to bring forth a reaction from a girl that is in your favor.

Because this is comprised of many different concepts I will go down the line on the mechanics of what makes this loop work; explaining buying temperature, breaks in rapport, compliance, and then at the end I will put it all together and show you what it should look like in practice.

Done properly, what should this technique do?

It should:

• Build Comfort

• Build Attraction

• Build Compliance

• Get Logical Buy-In

• Force Qualification

Sound better than good? Perfect. Want to learn it? Frothing at the mouth yet? Yes/no. Cool.