In Girls Chase Podcast Interview #10, host Varoon Raja talks to
Girls Chase author Alek Rolstad about sex talk, sexual prizing, and
Alek’s strategies for framing himself as the lover with women.
Alek and Varoon discuss topics including:
One of the easiest ways to develop skill with women is cold approach, and one of the greatest progress accelerators when you go out is to talk to lots of girls.
There’s a problem with talking to lots of girls, however, and the problem is that in many guys this quickly devolves into ‘spam approaching’.
Spam sucks, and it hardly works. The good email programs are effective at keeping most spam email in your spam box. On websites, the good spam filters keep most of it out of the comments sections, but some still slips through (we probably delete about 50 spam comments every day here). Despite the filtering, deleting, and quarantining, there’s still a market for it, because it still works... sometimes.
However, the volume has to be high, and the margins are slim.
This is not a practical approach to use for meeting girls.
Nevertheless, sometimes men can fall into ‘spam approaching’ to meet their volume quotas (or simply because it’s the one thing they know to do).
There is a better way, however.
This post is primarily for intermediate to advanced players, but it can also be useful for beginners (because they might also end up making some of the mistakes listed in this post).
This article is based on a note sheet from 2011 I found on my old computer yesterday. It was just a short note covering a few bullet points – things I had to remember when going out – i.e., covering my main sticking points back then.
Reading back, I can now see how these mistakes I made back then that were covered on this note sheet are mistakes I still occasionally make, but also mistakes I have seen many other experienced seducers make.
This post will cover those mistakes and how to handle the different issues at hand. That being said, this post is fit for everyone. because everything listed here are mistakes beginners also make.
However, I would say that intermediate to advanced players will get the most out of this post, as beginners have more important things to think about and work on – things that are more important for their success, such as:
Learning how to open and immerse/hook her in: if you don’t make contact with women, you just won’t get laid whatsoever
How to escalate: men rarely get laid without escalation
How to isolate: if you don’t isolate, escalation will become very difficult
Dealing with logistics: vital
The things listed in this post are 5 common mistakes good seducers make, oftentimes as a result of actually being attractive or “being good” with women. Have this in mind when you read this post and you will see what I mean. Without any further delays, let us jump straight into the good stuff.
In straightforward parlance, a ‘warm-up approach’ is an approach you make to get your social gears lubricated for a day or night meeting new women.
The warm-up approach is a simple concept to get one’s head around, but a lot of men still don’t use it. It’s one of the best tools out there though for beating approach anxiety and upping the consistency of your outings.
Want an easy way to defeat your fear of talking to strange women and work up the nerve to go say hi? Warm-up approach.
How about a simple way to make your days and nights out go from a range of “sometimes they’re great” to “sometimes I don’t talk to anybody at all”, to, instead, a much more consistent “they’re almost always pretty good”? Warm-up approach.
Or, a really easy way to build social momentum early on in the night at bars, lounges, nightclubs, and parties, while making early approaches you can then capitalize on later by reopening women you met before or leveraging the preselection and social proof you built earlier to meet new girls? Warm-up approach.
The warm-up approach is a terrifically handy device for nabbing all these benefits and a bunch more... and all you’ve got to do to do so is start using it.
The
vapid
stares, the uninteresting conversation, the constant
references to celebrity doings and pop culture happenings you haven’t
the slightest inkling of.
She’s cute, and you’d like to sleep with her, but she’s just so... dumb.
It’s simply impossible to connect with her.
For a long time, the moment I realized a girl I was talking to was ‘dumb’ was the moment I gave up any hopes of bedding her.
I knew we had nothing in common. No shared interests. No mutual conversation topics. We could talk past each other, but we’d both merely bore one another with our respectively boring topics.
Eventually, however, I realized I was being kind of dumb myself; if there’s attraction there, it shouldn’t matter how many common interests you share... you only need one common interest: an interest in each other.
Realistically, if you want to go to bed with her, and she wants to go to bed with you, how much more ‘in common’ do you actually need?
It turns out, not much.
One of the major problems I see with the men going out to meet women is that many do not set themselves up for success. They are more preoccupied with trying to impress their friends, getting validation, or simply trying to avoid negative feedback, instead of going out for the right reasons... like to get laid! This article is going to be shallow and to the point. Please sheathe your pitchforks and extinguish your torches. I am about to hit you with some knowledge.
This article is about going to a night club and getting laid. Maybe later, I will write something with more fluff-and-love but for now let me cater to those who love the hunt. Those warriors that refuse to settle and whom flourish from competition. With that being said, here are some common sense closing tactics I know the majority of you are not following through on.
I see this day in and day out with my students here in Vegas and it makes me sick. People are so focused on so many advanced tactics and tricks that they miss out on fixing the simple things that could easily increase their results tenfold with just a little effort. Do I have your attention? Good, let’s go!
Sometimes, you’ll have met a girl and be talking with
her, or you’ll
be on a date with her, and you’re at that point with things where you
would (normally) move to the next step.
Only, you try to go to that next step with her, but she’s not going.
She’s not ready for the courtship or the seduction to escalate to the next stage, and, thus, refuses.
Maybe you’re having a great conversation with her at the bar, and you suggest the two of you grab seats. Nah, she says, she’s got to stay at the bar.
Perhaps you’ve had a wonderful conversation on a date with her, and you want to take her home. Only, you make the invite, and she tells you she’d rather spend some more time at the café you’re at.
Or, you’ve met this girl on the street and walked all over town with her, but she simply won’t grab food with you or accompany you anywhere else... even though it feels like she ought to be ready to.
What do you do when it’s time to escalate... but she’s not ready?
This is an article about the journey you will experience as you
proceed from a man who never walks up to strange women to introduce
himself and flirt, to a man who does so all the time, and reaps the
rewards, both in terms of women and in terms of how he thinks about women.
If you have read my two previous articles on this website (here’s one and here’s two), you might
have noticed that there is a word that I mention frequently (directly
or indirectly): and the word is cold approach. In my
case, the preference is for street
cold approach, though cold approach of any kind is the key.
Cold approach is at the heart of my game; in fact, it is my entire game. When I say it is my “entire” game, I do not only refer to my outer game, but to my inner game as well.
The power of cold approach is so big that I cannot put limits on it. It contains a transformative power that has the ability to change your relationship with women in a dramatic way, on all levels. There is a lot of talking about “inner game”. Well, despite being the cause of your actions, your mindset will also follow the progress you make in cold approach.
Now, let’s make an important clarification: everything is mind and everything comes from the mind. As a consequence, outer game is really a reflection of your inner game. It all starts with a decision, and the decision will happen in your mind. You’ll decide that you are entitled to hot girls, so you’ll go out and talk to them, and then through consistent action you’ll start seeing evidence of your own belief.
Therefore, action is not the cause, the cause is your decision. Action simply follows your decision, and that’s why inner game always comes before outer game. And yet, action is the only way to play this game. Action is born from your inner game, and yet it is the only way to change, improve, sharpen, and expand your inner game. That’s the paradox.
Here’s an oldie but a goodie from the bygone days of Fast Seduction: Jay’s (Formhandle’s) pre-approach invitation male approach invitation, which used the (rather exhausting) acronym ‘pAImAI’.
It’s a complicated-sounding name for a simple technique: behave in an attention-grabbing way that entices women to send you approach invitations.
If you do nightlife often, you’ll likely have started doing this one on your own already.
If you don’t, and you want to make your opening easier, you’ll probably find it useful.
A month or so
back, below my article “Tactics Tuesdays: Hugs, Handclasps, and
Arm-on-Shoulders”, a commenter named Magenta asked about how to pick up girls at the airport:
“Hi Chase,
Can you do an article on Aiport game? Such as how do I approach/connect with women who are traveling to/from, waiting at the airport lounge, waiting in line for security checks, etc....type of conversation to have and figuring out logistics of what is possible/not possible.
Thanks!!”
I’m a pretty big fan of any kind of transit game, as I’ve talked about before in “Meeting Women on Buses, Trains, and Airplanes.” Transit has a lot of nice things going for it, including:
Airports offer the further plusses that she’s on a big adventure, so likely to feel excited and perked up (unless this is yet another business trip she’s made 1,000 times), and grant you an instant value boost – if you’re traveling, whether for work or pleasure, she assumes you have money and are likely somewhat ‘important’. You’re also more likely to lead an interesting life. And, you get an instant commonality – you’re both travelers, something that immediately separates you both from ‘regular people’ (you and her, against the world).
In this article, I’ll talk about my approach to picking up girls in airports: preparation, execution, logistics, and whether to grab numbers or try for something then and there.
