Mindsets

Why’s it have to be so hard to start something new? The truth is, whether it’s sports, art, business, or dating, the hardest part is at the start.

In 2005, the tire company I worked for considered me one of the best salesman in the district. Back in 2001 though, the first customer I ever served as a salesman had so little confidence in me (as a result of my obvious slowness, jitters, and uncertainty) that at one point she stopped me cold, looked me dead in the eye, and told me: “You’d better not fuck up my car.”

In 2006, I’d perform my music for people and they would flip out and tell me I should be on the radio. But in 2002, when I first began to make music, most of what I got was a barrage of hate, telling me my music sucked, I sucked, and (probably the most oft-repeated phrase I got), “Kill yourself, faggot.”

And in 2010, I was doing well enough with girls that I reached a point where my ideal girlfriend-quality girls became a breeze for me to get, and I knew if I went out and picked up hard enough, I could probably find a girl to take home (it might not necessarily be easy – a lot of that is down to luck... but doable). Yet, when I made my first real efforts to meet girls via cold approach in 2001, I failed so hard that I didn’t even try again for another 3.5 years.

I’ve watched a lot of guys get good with girls over the years, and most don’t suck as hard as I did at the beginning, or for nearly as long. Nevertheless, I share these examples to introduce a concept it’s important you get: that the beginning is the hardest part.

If you can get past this part, it gets easier and easier from there.

What is the MGTOW movement all about? Do MGTOWs reject women, love, sex, and society? Or is the phenomenon about something else...?

On my article “Quit Letting Girls Off the Hook So Much”, Jimbo asks for my take on the MGTOW movement:

“That whole MGTOW movement. It seems to have gained steam lately. Their two main talking points are: – Women want to spend their prime years screwing around bad boys and then when they become less desirable they want to settle down with a good man to provide for them. So screw it, I’m not gonna be neither! – Marriage is a trap wherein in a woman grabs her man by the nuts because of all the divorce laws that favor her hugely nowadays and also because of her greedy nature. So screw it, no marriage from this guy!”

Yeah, the whole MGTOW thing is an interesting phenomenon.

I’ve clashed with MGTOWs on occasion when they get into the whole ‘rah rah join our cause’ routine... I’m not really the club-joining sort.

But the rah rah MGTOWs aren’t necessarily representative of the movement overall. So what I’d like to do today is take a look at the ‘men going their own way’ movement and share some thoughts on it from a somewhat broader perspective.

A dominant man is one who wins. He’s one who holds sway over his dominion. And he does it with his aims, responsibility, interdependence, and victory.

In my article on having girls come join you, a commenter named Max asks the following:

“Hey,

This is a totally off topic question, but in all articles regarding, being powerful, dominant and sexy, I could only pick out physical attributes such as slower body movements etc. Can you just describe his attitude and how he look at life, and how can I become one too, through day to day activities. Thanks!”

This is a fun question for me. I rank dominance of his own life and sphere as a quality at the apogee of man’s cultivation. The man who holds true dominion over his endeavors is the closest man can ever get to absolute freedom. Combine this dominance with a clear moral character and you have a man who not only gets what he wants, but attracts, inspires, and leads, as well.

How you come to possess this attitude of striving toward dominion, and the kind of clarity and magnetism that surround it and intertwine with it, is what we’ll talk about today.

She’s over there, but you feel so nervous about going up to meet her. Maybe she’ll reject you; maybe she won’t be nice. There are a few things to realize if you feel this way, though.

What could you achieve with women if you were fearless?

Think of all the things you could have done and said.

I myself did not start off doing this void of emotion. It used to be so bad for me that I would shake uncontrollably from just the thought of approaching a random person. Everyone has felt this way to varying levels of potency at one point in their life or another. So what is there to do?

You will never completely rid yourself of this. Over time it will dissipate more and more but it will always be there. Yet you can elevate yourself from it. I personally have come a long way from where I used to be. From my meager one approach a week to now being able to approach on command whenever I want.

How do I do this? Needless to say it is not because I conquered my fear but instead because I learned to approach in spite of it. And you can too. You can go into a venue feeling out of it and leave it feeling like a god consistently by taking on the right mindsets and actions. What are they?

Sexual state lets you project sexuality and attract girls with your vibe. To get it, you must imagine sex, quit masturbation, and get laid more.

Hi there. Today I will discuss sexual state – as in, the feeling of being horny and desiring sex – and how it can benefit you in the field. I will discuss how it works and how you can use it to its fullest potential. Sexual state is a biologically informed mental state in which you want to bond on a sexual level with someone.

So let us first discuss the masculine aspect of sexual state – how can we use sexual state in field to attract women? Then we will talk about how you can increase your chances of getting into a sexual state to begin with.

In Mao Zedong’s communist China, in the late 1940s, a new approach to encourage ‘right-thinking’ emerged, termed xǐ năo, which means “wash brain”. This washing of the brain was designed to scrub out bad thoughts and ideas, freeing the now-cleansed brain to think about things ‘correctly’.

The term ‘brainwash’ entered the English vernacular in the early 1950s and became a dreaded boogeyman during the Cold War era. 1962’s The Manchurian Candidate made brainwashing the subject of a popular film, and in 1974 the United States’ own mind control program, dubbed MKUltra, came partly to light (though only after the CIA destroyed most of the project’s records a year earlier).

Chinese brainwashing and American reprogrammed assassins are interesting examples, but they’re just new takes on an age-old principle, one that’s been a central tenet of states, religions, rites of passage, and social groups of all shapes, colors, and sizes, since time immemorial.

That principle is at work in everything you see, read, listen to, or debate.

It’s even at work right now as you read this page.

That principle, of course, is that every message you let into your eyes or ears informs your worldview and alters your mental model ever so slightly... or sometimes so much.

And if you’re not careful about whom you let play switchboard operator in your brain, you may end up with a set of beliefs about the world that lead you all kinds of places you’d rather not go.

Hi there. I hope everyone is doing well. Today we are focusing more on some theoretical stuff and less on beginner material.

This post is fit for everyone practicing cold approach pick up (the most exciting form of pick up, in my opinion).

I have in the past already discussed social momentum quite a few times already. Today we will also discuss momentum, but look at it from a different perspective: from a macro perspective.

Social momentum (micro) - discussed previously - covered how you felt; your emotional state when out meeting women. Positive social momentum could help one get laid, as he will not only feel more like interacting with strangers, but also be more comfortable doing so. When you have (micro) social momentum, you feel like an unbeatable god, as you:

• Approach more women, feeling on fire

• Have bigger balls and are bold in your approach, as you don't really care all that much about rejections

• You will in many cases be more high energy and hook more girls (as you will come across as more exciting) - the pitfall here is that you will have to tone it down when getting into "seduction mode" (unless you want to end up being perceived as a dancing monkey)

• You will feel more confident

If you have been out in the field a few times, you have probably already reached this type of momentum. I will not cover "how you get there" in this post, as I have covered this aspect already a few times. If you need advice on how to reach social momentum, then check out these post:

• How to Ramp Up Social Momentum (and Meet Loads of Girls)
• Picking Up Women When You're Feeling Low Energy
• Dance Floor Game Tips #2: Warming Up on the Dance Floor
• What Men Who Get Laid Do Before a Night Out
• How to Start a Conversation with Anyone You Want