Female Mind

In my article "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", Balla asks the following questions about spotting a crazy girl (so that he might stay far, far away):

“How do you know if a girl is crazy before its too late? What early signs do girls show you?

How do you know you if a girl is lying to you about not being a club girl? Say if you met her during the day?

Don't club girls run around during the day too? How do you know you're not picking up a club girl during the day?”

Now, that's not to say that all girls who head to nightclubs every so often are crazy (although... most of them are at least somewhat more narcissistic women).

What we're talking about here when we say a girl is a "crazy girl" is that she is a woman who's more likely to be unstable in a relationship. That's it. She may function perfectly in every aspect of her life besides romantic / sexual relationships, but that's unimportant to us here for our purposes - this website is about selecting women as lovers and long-term partners, and we're most concerned with how those women are going to serve in those roles, how they'll affect us, and how stable (or not) they're going to be in that position.

To make some of these red flags easier to spot, I'm going to break them down into different red flags across three distinct categories, which may or may not be controversial for some people... and if so, well, them's the ropes. We're simply looking for the most useful tool here for making general predictions about the effects a given woman is going to have on your sanity as a man down the line in a relationship of any variety with her.

In July's article on granting social status, I mentioned a delicate social situation as an example of a scenario where you'd unfortunately have to deal with an interruption by throwing someone under the bus. A reader asked a clarifying question, wondering if it wasn't possible to deal with that interruption more gracefully toward the interloper:

“In the example from the networking event, wouldn't a socially savvy person tell the nerdy guy something like "We were in the middle of a conversation here, is it OK if I get back to you later?" as if to give the guy an out?

Would you in retrospect deal with the incident more like this, or if not, why? While the guy was rude to intrude the way he did, isn't it better to not be rude back?”

My response was that, while normally you DO want to respond gracefully here, due to the specifics of this case, because of what's communicated to this new woman you've just met by you explicitly telling someone else you prioritize your just-commenced conversation with her over the one he has just commenced with you (as you would in the graceful way of letting this other individual down), you must take the haughtier tack here, unfortunately, and throw our socially awkward friend to the wolves for stepping between you and this girl and butting into your conversation.

And just what is that bad thing communicated by you telling him explicitly that you're prioritizing your conversation with her over your conversation with him that forces your hand here? Why has he left you with no choice but to dismantle him socially, rather than let him down nicely?

What's communicated to the girl in the explicit case, where she hears you tell him, "I'm in the middle of a conversation with her, please excuse me," is that you're chasing her... that's what.

Why that's communicated, and the other signs you can give off that indicate you're chasing women, is what we'll talk about here.

In "Why I Quit Dating Girls Who Club, Party, or Drink", a reader notes:

“Anyways, I've been having problems with something that should be fairly simple for most people, but I fear that it is far more nuanced than it seems: disagreeing with woman. I remember reading an article about addressing women objections, other one about not saying "no", but I can't seem to find one on "How to disagree with women" or "How to show disapproval".

My point is that, as time goes by and your confidence goes up and you become more comfortable leading women, what happens a fair number of times is that she'll do or say something you do not like. And while a "nice guy" would just suppress that thing in his mind and get over it, I do not. But I must be doing something very wrong, because I'm under the impression that every time that I do this, me and the girl end up arguing, or feeling that our connection is somehow weaker, etc.

So, I ask you, is there a "right" way to say/show you *don't* agree with an attitude she had (or any other thing that comes to mind)?”

The way you'd hear it from most men, disagreeing with women cannot or should not be done, at least not in a way that's anything remotely close to effective at getting your point across or changing her mind.

You've pretty much got to just bite your tongue and let it slide... unless you really want to get your hindquarters handed to you in tatters.

While I used to subscribe to the old advice of "stay unreactive" - basically, sit there like a lump of coal and do nothing and say nothing, no matter how crazed, incorrect, or offensive she becomes - I'm only a (pseudo-)fan of that these days in certain situations.

These days, I'm a big believer in dealing with disagreeable statements swiftly, the moment they come up. How you disagree with women depends on the situation, though - sometimes it's going to entail direct confrontation, but many times you'll take a far subtler approach.

Either way, if being completely unreactive is out, you're going to need another set of tools to deal with disagreements.

And I've got just the tools you need.

I recently completed an almost 2-hour interview with Glenn Pierce (formerly just Glenn P), a really sharp and talented guy who taught me a thing or two when I wanted to kick my daytime approaching up a notch back in early '07, for his upcoming interview series. While doing the interview - much of it something of a "how you got your start" type piece - we each shared stories of girls early on in our lives (both in junior high) who liked us, who were otherwise really cool girls, yet who, when we approached in awkward / socially unsavvy ways, threw us each under the bus socially, even as they still liked us.

When it happened to me, I immediately understood why it happened - why a girl who still liked me (she continued to flirt with me and give me hints and invitations for years after) - and same deal for Glenn... his girl still liked him (a friend of hers even told him so) - yet these girls so coolly and seemingly ruthlessly tossed us to the wolves, status-wise.

I think this is a thing a lot of guys don't get. Why would a girl do this? A girl who likes you - maybe she even likes you more than anybody else around her - yet she casts you aside.

Maybe you want to judge her. Maybe you want to say that clearly she's a petty person; she's weak; she cares too much what others think and not enough about what she wants.

Maybe you want to say that if she's not willing to take a risk to be with you, then who needs her?

Except this isn't the right approach. If you want success with women, you must have a mind for status - and you must have a mind for protecting and even enhancing the status of the women around you.

A commenter on the article about sexy body language asks the following regarding narcissistic and egotistical women:

“I was wondering if you could put out any content on how to deal with narcissistic, overly selfish women. They're tougher to deal with on some levels and I'd love to see what kind of content you have for how to deal with that type of woman.”

If you're like many people reading this article, your first reaction might be, "Who on Earth wants to date a narcissist?"

You know... selfish, egotistical, conniving. Unempathetic. Cold, in many ways.

But there're two sides to everything, and narcissism is no exception. Narcissists also tend to be incredibly charming, very charismatic, and quite colorful. They're frequently the center of attention... the bright and shiny objects at the middle of the room.

They are the coveted. And they enjoy being coveted.

In fact, there are reasons you may want to date a girl who's a narcissist... just as there are reasons you may not.

We went pretty deep into the metaphysical with yesterday's article, so now let's come back up for some air. Let's talk about how to turn a girl on.

Men who haven't mastered or worked on their sexy side yet have been missing out - you have tremendous power in your ability to make a woman weak in the knees (for you). Once you have the ability to turn girls on at will, you'll find their hearts beating faster, their breaths coming quicker, and their smiles spreading wider, just by being in your presence.

You'll find that sex happens a lot faster, more consistently, and more passionately, too.

When it comes to creating arousal and desire in a woman, we can break this down into three levels, or tiers:

1. Excitation,
2. Anticipation, and
3. Satiation

To create the fullest, richest degree of arousal in a girl, you must make absolutely sure you hit each one of these tiers.

So what do these three tiers - excitation, anticipation, and satiation - entail?

That's what we'll discuss today.

In "How to Approach a Girl Wherever You Are (Easily)," J comments:

“Hey Chase,

Another Great article you churn these things out left and right man! This one was so info packed I'm finding myself reading it again and again which is a great thing. One idea that was running through my head while reading this post was this concept of cementing emotion.

You mentioned it in your girls chase book but its a brief but very interesting section. I've always wanted to know how to deliver those "Wow what a connection we have" lines.

I was thinking about it the whole time I read this post, because I was noticing more and more that I'd get to step 9 or 10 and flame out there. Like I'd deep dive too much and "break the spell."

And I've been wracking my brained trying to understand what I was doing there but then I remembered your section on cementing emotions. So, I've been reading up on that and your spell broken article.

Would love to hear more thoughts on this man, it's a fascinating aspect of game. Because I've cemented certain emotions in women and have been fascinated with myself. Like WTF! where did that come from.

Anyways man just wanted to drop a line there about that. Maybe I'll add another to the list of article ideas with this one ;) hahaha

The Loyal reader extraordinaire,

JFav”

Emotions are quick, fleeting things - here one moment, gone the next. What's worse is, emotions are easily forgotten things - a girl may be really into you one minute, but completely have forgotten she was a minute later. And once a feeling's forgotten, good luck trying to bring it back if you hadn't cemented it first.

To teach you the technique of cementing emotions in women's (or anyone's) memory, I want to cover a brain hack today that essentially serves as a memory aid for cementing emotions, so that you can help women recall good emotions they felt for you earlier, even if they aren't feeling them right now.