Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It) | Girls Chase

Girlfriend Moody? It's in Her Genes (But You Can Fix It)

girlfriend moodyOn the new forum join bonus post where I asked for suggestions for the limited-time ebook offered to the first group of forum members, a reader weighed in with his preference:

I'd like some tips and tricks, and knowledge about longer term relationships - for example, how to bring a girl out of that 'brick wall' sulk! I seem to attract fiery and moody, and I would like to know how other people deal with this. Never too old to learn?

While this didn't make it into the ebook in question, I've been trying to get through each of these and tackle the ones that weren't addressed there on the website here.

If you've been in a relationship that lasted any substantial length of time, you've no doubt encountered what our commenter here is talking about - that sulky, pouting, dreary moody girlfriend situation.

For men in relationships, there are few things more dispiriting than a girlfriend, moody and sulky, skulking around the apartment, acting like somebody stole her bag of cookies, and you have absolutely no idea why. It can make you want to pull your hair out and exclaim, "Out with it already, woman!"

If she'd just TELL YOU what the problem was, by George, then you could address it at least!

Well, if it's any consolation, science is here to tell us we're not crazy, and women really DO do this and feel this a lot more than men.

And I'm here to tell you what to do about it so she knocks this off and starts acting a little more chipper again.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Balen's picture

Hi Chase!

Awesome article by the way. I bought your mastery package and love it, haven't gotten through all of it yet, cause I've been so busy lately but it looks like its very promising.

I've also been following your blog for sometime now, and notice you used to be a sales person, and prospered your way into the world of business. I just started working with someone that I met not long ago, who owns an advertising company (just the name) and he wants me as a potential partner. This company still has a long way to go, since me and him are the only ones running it. But I believe we can make this company work. We're putting in the hours and are already in the process of getting new contracts. Our next phase is to start hiring people (which will be sometime next week)

We do promotions for up and coming businesses, who are interested in attracting new customers. So far we've signed 3 contracts with 2 pizza businesses and one hair salon. We don't charge the businesses anything (this way we compete with other advertising companies), other than having them sign the contract stating that they will honor the promotion. We make deals where customers pay a small amount per promotion ($20-40 depending on the type of business, and what the deal consists of) printed in pamphlet form, which is valid throughout the whole year. We currently sell the promotions door to door. By next week we are looking to hire 5-10 people, due to the increase in demands.

I am quite new to this line of work. I really want to understand the process and marketing strategies in businesses like this and really understand the opportunities and outcomes such a business can have. I'm convinced I finally found a career that I can enjoy for once and not have anyone above me. I'd love to hear your advice and Any pointers/tweaks or directions to links or concepts . Any help would be greatly appreciated.


Chase Amante's picture

Hi Ballen,

As it's your first business, you're bound to hit some bumps along the way, but that's natural and part of the learning process.

I don't have any personal experience in door-to-door selling or very much in advertising, so I can't give you any expert advice there, however one thing I'd caution you is to pay close attention to effort vs. reward. From what I can tell, the business here is high effort, low reward, which is going to make it a challenging business to run and a challenging one to stick with. Essentially, once you've been at it a little while and you've found you're working very hard going door to door, but the income from it isn't that great, you're going to start facing a lot of doubts about whether you really want to continue in this line of business or whether you want to fold up shop.

My recommendation is, enjoy learning the basic business processes while things are still fresh and you're filled with enthusiasm, but keep an eye out for ways you can streamline what you're doing, minimize the effort, and (ideally) get customers coming to you. Can you team up with a local magazine or newspaper to get your promotion in front of more potential buyers? Can you get a journalist to write an article about an up-and-coming business doing a new kind of advertising, so that more clients hear about you and come your way? Is someone on your team experienced enough with IT that you can build a good-looking web presence, or do you have the funds to hire a developer to do that for you?

Learn the business, learn how to pitch it and sell it, but also look for ways to reduce the amount of work you and your partner and your employees are doing and increase your reach and prospects' exposure to you. The less work any particular task takes, the more of those tasks you can perform and the more rapidly you can grow, expand, and improve your business.

Think "minimize work, maximize footprint."


Zac's picture

Anyone who has known a lot of women that do this surely got to agree with me this article hit the right notes. Btw, I hope you can clarify with me, there's a post on tactics and techniques by me, i am experimenting on purposely looking at women when i enter a scene (like trains). "An Overlook Focus on Eye Contact".

An interesting thing is, i have had women giving me positive body language. Another point, i had one girl acting bored, because i look around and not looking at her before sitting in the train. Well let's just say she wasn't too amused when i didn't talk to her. She was just okay. XD Oh btw, i also read article on "Eyes that Draw". I am keen on you helping me, tell me how does that work? there must be a place where you standing and she standing for it to work, and not all places you can pull it off.

i think i am getting my fundamentals perfectly right, there's always room for improvement but the thing i am surprised is, even when i am not well dressed, i still get reactions.


Chase Amante's picture


Yeah, that's an interesting phenomenon. I haven't seen any research on it (and I've looked!), but I've noticed that you can often attract someone's attention with even very minimal eye contact from a long distance and what would seem to be an implausible place to be noticed at. For instance, gazing out a second story window at someone walking 200 feet away outside and looking straight ahead, and suddenly they turn and look up at you. It's freaky.

On the reverse side, I've had plenty of times when I've turned and looked - not because I had any kind of feeling, but I really just felt like I was looking for the heck of it, just because I decided to - and then boom, my eyes locked smack onto someone staring at me from far away just about out of the field of my vision. Did I really just happen to look over, or was something triggered in my head that made me look?

My working theory on this is that eye contact is so vitally important (e.g., knowing if a potential mate is staring at you, or a potential attacker / predator / thief) that the brain is able to take very small amounts of data (e.g., the low amount of visual data you get from peripheral vision, and an even lower amount of "white of his/her eyes" data you'd get from someone looking dead at you close to your blind spot) and use that to activate you to check and see if someone's looking at you (without informing conscious you that that's what it's doing, lest you freak out prior to receiving confirmation that someone is actually looking at you and it wasn't simply a false positive).

On the other hand, I've also found that different people have different levels of "strong" eye contact. For instance, I often have to avert my gaze if I don't want someone to know I'm close by or nearing them (or I just don't want to get into a staring contest), because most people instantly detect when I am looking at them, even from large distances, and turn to look at me. I've met plenty of individuals who do not have this concern - they can stare at others' eyes all day long and people still won't look at them. For me, a glance is enough to have others instantly focus on me (and has been since I was very young). I've done experiments with getting people driving cars to turn their heads completely around and look at me in the backseat of an adjacent car (how often do you turn your head to look out your driver's side window while driving and stare at someone else? ... never, right?), after telling a car full of people I was going to do this. Everyone explodes in laughter when I do it and the driver's head whips around. I've even had fairly good luck with getting people to turn around while staring at the back of their heads.

I don't know what causes the latter. I don't know if there are some kind of rudimentary light-sensing cells in the back of the head or neck that pick up on this, or if it's related to the phenomenon shown in ganzfeld experiments. It's weird stuff.

Anyway, I'll check out that post you made on the forums.


Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase, a little off topic but I'd like to see a post on moving out of the country and just traveling with a suitcase around different places. It seems like this would automatically make a person much more interesting by giving them entirely new reference points, as you talked about in the below post. Maybe something about the logistics and psychology of it would be interesting. I'd like to follow in your footsteps to Europe or Asia and leave the boring, expected, average corporate world in my dust.

Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

I'll see what I can do!


studentofthegame's picture

Chase what country do you plan on visiting next?

studentofthegame's picture

Chase what do you mean by if one desires a girl friend he should go for a "daddy's girl"?

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Student,

I meant girls who have/had close relationships with their fathers and really love their fathers and think very highly of them. An individual's relationship with his/her parent of the opposite sex reflects what you can expect him/her to be like in a relationship with an opposite sex partner to a very high degree.

So, if you have a girl who walked all over her father, expect her to look for a man she can walk all over as a boyfriend.

If you have a girl who had an absent father, expect her to have a dysfunctional relationship with boyfriends.

If you have a girl who had a really close, healthy, strong relationship with her father, expect her to have a relationship like that with her boyfriends (and YOU), too.


Hugh 's picture

Hey Chase, been reading your articles for a some time now, and have been very beneficial to my progress with girls. In a previous article I heard you went to Penn State, as I am currently a student at PSU. As a fan of your site, I'm curious, what were your favorite bar/clubs to go to in State College?

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Hugh,

Well, it's been a few years (six and a half, to be exact), and the names have changed. The Player's Club was my main hangout, although it's called something else now, and Club Love was really solid until some guy decided to play peacemaker between two guys fighting because one guy thought the other guy said something to his girlfriend, and the peacemaker got stabbed in the heart with an icepick and tied in the hospital 4 days later. That one was a ghost town after that incident, not because anyone was necessarily afraid (who at PSU stabs people in the heart with an icepick?? Everybody knew it was a one-time anomaly) but because nobody thought anybody else would go back.

There wasn't really anywhere else I found all that great for meeting girls at. I went to pretty much all the different bars, some of them pretty frequently, but didn't have much luck elsewhere, at least back then.

And, because my college friends threw some of the best house parties on campus, they were doing house parties a lot more often than going to bars, so the only time I ended up in bars and clubs pretty much was to pick up!

Penn State's a great school to learn game at though... it's big enough that there are always new women to meet, but small enough that you can experiment with social circle if you like, too.


Anonymous's picture

in general your blog posts have a lot more substance than most regular pua sites. i'm by no means a master but i'm no longer a novice when it comes to women, and i agree with a lot of what you say, particularly the main biggest point being always staying in control.

i also highly highly agree with your blog post on smirking right. i personally think squinting my eyes just a little helps a lot too.

in general i think you keep a pretty good site running, even though at first it seems really cheesy because it's called girls chase lol.

keep up the good work.

Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Anon - glad to hear you're finding some substance on the site. Squinting can be good, yeah.

I kind of like that the name is a little cheesy at first. When Apple computer chose its name, they chose it in part because it was spunky, fresh, and unexpected (also because, starting with the letter "A," it'd place near the top in most business directories, though that's less of a concern in the Internet age). To me, something a little cheesy and different and memorable feels more fitting than the rather stuffy, longwinded "science-y" names that most businesses in this niche employ... :/


Vaughn's picture

Hey chase the very first paragraph you describe girls mood swings is exactly how I am. I can be happy then think about something in the past that will make me get very angry and upset and I act that way with a scowl on my face, which makes me very intimadating and unapproachable. I've read your article about depression and it helps but I feel anger and rage with my mood swings, i want to get revenge on people who did me wrong and this is an everyday thing.I can't stop the mood swings. How do I stop thinking about bad things from my past and how do I stop these mood swings? It's an everydaything.

I really can't approach Chase, what's wrong with me? I re-read your articles again and again about A.A., but I just cant do it. I just don't feel like doing it, I think I make it harder than it is, but it's very daunting for me. I feel lazy and I think that girls don't want to be approached by some random guy. Please Chase tell me How can I do approaching? It's so difficult for me since I've never done it. I re-read the aa articles all the time and try to apply the steps, but I just can't do it. I want to and I know I have to, what can I do to get past this barrier? I'm tired of this, I want more women in my life, I don't want this to be daunting, I want to have fun and get girls. I feel like I'm trapped in a box And can't approach. Please Chase get me over this hump.

How can I make approaching girls fun instead of a daunting mission?

Thank you!!!

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Vaughn,

Obsessive thinking / rumination is actually an addiction, often related to some degree of obsessive-compulsive disorder, and more prevalent in people with higher levels of intelligence. It is also, in my experience, very related to people with a past-oriented approach toward life. See this video for more detail on that:

On not being able to approach: check out the Newbie Assignment on the boards and do that. If you absolutely CANNOT force yourself to do it, the only other suggestion I can make is find a friend and tell him you need to get yourself approaching, and that his sole job is to force you to go talk to women, no matter what. Tell him you're not allowed to give him any excuses, and that you have to do whatever he tells you to do, no matter how ridiculous.


Anonymous's picture

Can being moody yourself make you seem more edgy/sexually appealing. In one of your fundamentals articles you mention that you should be warm and stable all the time. This seems a little fake to me and doesn't being moody add to the Byronic man concept? But how moody is too moody?

Chase Amante's picture

Hi Anon,

You're right this can be one very alluring edgy, Byronic trait. If you're naturally a very emotionally changeable person, it may not be realistic for you to try to tamp down and control your emotions, and rather look for ways to better steer / control / direct them.

"How moody is too moody?" is a question that depends very much on the kind of woman you're going for. Generally speaking, the more moody you are, the more stable a partner you need, and the more stable someone is, the more moody a partner they tend to seek. e.g., naturally very calm guys all the time are complimented more by fiery, dynamic women who can add some spice and energy to their lives. But, very moody, emotional guys come to blows with these kinds of women, and tend to fare better with calmer, stabler women, who can absorb their mood swings and mellow them out.

Essentially I'd say, the moodier you are, the calmer / stabler / quieter the kind of woman you'll attract, and the calmer / stabler / quieter you are, the moodier / more dynamic / more vivacious the kind of woman you'll attract. Adjust yourself according to your preferences.


Jamesbond's picture

Hi there Chase,

Can you write an article about compliments to girls that are interested in. Not just from that you approached cold but girls that you met through hobbies or friends. I tend to like to tell girls aggressive compliments of sexual nature. Like I would think they are good kissers, they have nice ass or legs, or that I love their bodies and also other compliments in which is related to personality type because there are 2 opinions about compliments. One last question, there is something where you mentioned screening and qualifying so you ask a question and if you like the answer than you qualify do I always need that or can just qualify based on observations. So, if I like the way she dances or if I like that she is good with people or that if she is just cool to sit down with me in the side road is that also ok????

Chase Amante's picture

Howdy JB,

Sure - I've added it to the article queue.

You can certainly compliment/qualify on things people are doing that you like. Just make sure that it's something real and the compliment is genuine, and it will go over well and accomplish what you want it to accomplish.


Anonymous's picture

I'm female, and I absolutely agree with what was written in this article. I wish my ex had read this while we were dating. Great insight into the female psyche. I'm not usually into tactics used to get into girls' pants, but I feel this was a good article to know how to read a girlfriend's moods and what it actually means.

Chris's Bad Day's picture

Well turns out that my girlfriend was option number 3 on your list. About 4 hours after reading the article she broke up with me... Talk about timing.

We were together 4 years and we had different life goals, which I guess were too much for her in the end. I wanted to work at it, but she doesn't. Thanks for the article, it helped me understand the warning signs I missed. Maybe it's for the best, as I was becoming unhappy too, however I think this may have been because of her decline in mood and anger towards me for some time. She used to mean everything to me and I started to feel like she was gone even before we broke up. We used to be able to talk about anything, enjoy eachothers company, laugh, joke and smile. But she changed. She left me long ago and this was the final nail in the coffin. I wish I could be with who she used to be, I miss that person with all my heart :(

I think I will stay single for a long time now. Maybe forever. Every time my heart gets broken it chips a part away from me that I never seem to get back. Now I just feel emotionally numb, too numb to cry or smile. Maybe it's for the best, as not feeling anything anymore is better than hurting. I just wish I knew what to do now.

AnonAnonymous21's picture

...for the part that said ALL women have exaggerated melodrama tantrums for attention, now that was just a really silly thing to say. Not all women do that. Some just sulk to themselves.

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