Female Mind

In "How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs," we had a look in passing at why dance clubs and dance floor game are so difficult to get real results with women in, aside from make outs and rapid escalations that usually don't ever lead to anything much more.

There we called it "emotional spiking," but this spiking is actually the result of a far broader and more common phenomenon seen everywhere in life and love, dance clubs being only among the more extreme examples. The phenomenon is one I've dubbed emotional cresting, and it creates some interesting wrinkles in how your interactions with people - women and men alike - play out.

Emotional cresting is about taking emotions to their extremes - those emotional spikes we mentioned before. It follows the process of emotional escalation that we mentioned as so crucial to the process of preparing a woman for intimacy in How to Make Girls Chase, except that it's an intrinsic part of everything.

There's great power in emotional cresting, but there's also significant danger to your interactions in it as well - because the higher you crest, the bigger the crash is if you can't maintain that emotional momentum.

On the new forum join bonus post where I asked for suggestions for the limited-time ebook offered to the first group of forum members, a reader weighed in with his preference:

“I'd like some tips and tricks, and knowledge about longer term relationships - for example, how to bring a girl out of that 'brick wall' sulk! I seem to attract fiery and moody, and I would like to know how other people deal with this. Never too old to learn?”

While this didn't make it into the ebook in question, I've been trying to get through each of these and tackle the ones that weren't addressed there on the website here.

If you've been in a relationship that lasted any substantial length of time, you've no doubt encountered what our commenter here is talking about - that sulky, pouting, dreary moody girlfriend situation.

For men in relationships, there are few things more dispiriting than a girlfriend, moody and sulky, skulking around the apartment, acting like somebody stole her bag of cookies, and you have absolutely no idea why. It can make you want to pull your hair out and exclaim, "Out with it already, woman!"

If she'd just TELL YOU what the problem was, by George, then you could address it at least!

Well, if it's any consolation, science is here to tell us we're not crazy, and women really DO do this and feel this a lot more than men.

And I'm here to tell you what to do about it so she knocks this off and starts acting a little more chipper again.

No doubt you've had the experience of having things all locked with a girl - she's agreed to a date, say, or she's decided that, yes, she's coming to this restaurant or bar with you, or, yes, she's coming home with you.

And then, the girl changes her mind.

It can be enough to drive you crazy. All that work just to get her to say "yes"... and then she goes and says, "Wait, on second though - no!"

Or, you're out with a girl and she says, "Let's get some ice cream. Can we get ice cream?" So you say sure, and start heading to the ice cream shop. Then, out of the blue, she says, "Wait, no; let's get some Mexican food. Come on, I want Mexican." So then she turns the two of you around and now you're walking back the way you came, in the direction of the Mexican food she's now so certain she wants.

And God help you if you should find yourself out with a gaggle of girls, where you're the only man and you're not in charge... the endless back and forth between one girl saying, "I want this!" and then minutes later saying, "Wait, I want this!" and the next girl saying the same thing and other girls yelling, "What should we DO?" and still more girls yelling, "Come on! Let's just go!" can be enough to drive a man mad.

Where does all this indecision stem from - and what can you do about it as a man?

In early 2007, back when I was still trying to figure out how to achieve consistent results picking up women in bars and nightclubs, I took some time to look back over the successful pickups I'd had over the past 6 or 7 months to see what common patterns I could pick out among them.

I noticed a few trends: I'd often had a sociable night early on, talking to different people, before meeting a girl. Sometimes I had social proof.

And almost ALL the time... I had preselection.

It blew my mind when I realized it.

Right after I'd end an interaction with an attractive girl who clearly had a good time talking to me, I'd meet the girl I'd end up picking up. Like clockwork. I even started to think that, had the roles been reversed - say, had I met the girls in the reverse order, maybe I would've picked up the other one instead.

Could it be that all you REALLY needed to get girls was preselection and an emphasis on moving fast?

Even to-date, most of my fastest pickups have come after a smattering of preselection to grease the wheels of the coming seduction.

And if you're not using it in YOUR interactions with women... you are sorely missing out, my friend.

Allow me to explain.

Note from Chase: about a month ago, we published the first article by Colt in our "Student of the Game" series, "How to Succeed with Women," and I asked the readers here if they'd like to see more from a guy who's still learning the ropes on getting girls. The response was "yes," and Colt's submitted another article for us here. Hope you enjoy.

It’s a dream of almost every man out there: to be irresistible to women. But, most men write this off as a pipedream.

Yet, this “pipedream” is a lot more attainable as a reality than most men think. And today…we’re going to focus on turning those pipedreams into pipe reality.

There’s a lot of debate in the self-improvement circles about where confidence comes from: does it come from within, or does it come from without? On this site we normally try to find balance, and in that spirit, usually settle on the fact that once you find a few ounces of confidence to start approaching, your inevitable success with women will only feed your inner confidence and make you more confident, more irresistible to women, and more successful – a self-perpetuating cycle.

But the confidence you get from working on getting better with girls isn’t the only confidence you can build - or even the most effective variety.

Rounding out this week's posts on what girls look for in men and what they value in men come 11 universal things women find attractive in men.

It's easy once you've been at this for a while to lose sight of explaining to guys how to attract women - like, what actually gets girls going and feeling some desire for a guy? Once you've got it down, it gets automated - and then your focus turns to, "Okay, now what do I do with it?"

It's also a lot faster to teach guys what to do with women they've already got attracted - they just have to throw a few steps and procedures into the mix and *BOOM!* - they're getting results. It's a lot longer of a process for a guy to internalize all the things women find attractive and begin morphing himself into that kind of guy (note: there're a lot more benefits to adopting these traits than simply wooing women - the traits that are about to follow are attractive in men for a good reason... namely, that they're extremely beneficial traits that help you succeed more in all kinds of life's arenas).

That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, though. In fact, it's an essential element of getting truly good and consistent in picking up and getting the girls you want - ultimately, the more attractive you make yourself as a man, the more women you'll find want to get to know you better, and the easier your job (whether that's meeting THE girl of your dreams, or meeting a LOT of girls of your dreams) becomes.

Today's excerpt from my eBook How to Make Girls Chase: Every Tactic and Technique You Need to Get the Girl(s) of Your Dreams lists out 11 things women almost universally find attractive in men, and the descriptions for each of those things.

So, you won't need to guess about what women find attractive - I spell it out for you in my book, and I'm going to share part of that spelling-out with you here.

In the previous article, we answered the question "What do girls look for?" as it relates to picking up girls – how you can become a man of higher value, how you can be perceived as having higher value and how you can leverage supply and demand in several ways to get an almost unfair advantage over other guys.

This week we’ll have a look at the value equation again, but from a different angle… this time, we’ll look at value under the lense of dating and relationships.

Read the other article first (linked to above) if you haven’t yet, just to make yourself familiar with all the fundamentals of what women value in a man, and then come back here and we’ll get started.

Read it already?

I take it you’re back… all right.

Let’s dive right in.