Always Plan for a Woman to Change | Girls Chase

Always Plan for a Woman to Change

Chase Amante

Hey! Chase Amante here.

You've read all the free articles I can offer you for this month.

If you'd like to read more, I've got to ask for your help keeping the lights on at Girls Chase.

Click a plan below to sign up now and get right back to reading. It's only 99¢ the first month.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

woman changes
A woman can be fickle and changeable. But why is this so? Science shows us this fickleness is an inherent aspect of female decision making.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.



John Donald's picture

the best way to handle this is to put zero value into anything a woman says. Because by nature they're just grown children who don't know what they want.

Sandman's picture

I first realised this how girls were so fickle when I read your article "it's her prerogative change her mind". I told myself that this is so right!

Funny thing is many girls don't even realize that they are fickle. For example I tell a female friend that I have a date, tonight, the day after she asks me how it went. I tell her the girl flaked. They get angry on my behalf, they get suprised. They ask me why this girl who agreed to have a date can cancel so minute? That is so rude! But nowadays it doesn't faze me at all. I tell her that's just how it is, some girls will flake with no (apperant) reason whatsoever. And that is okay. She doesn't know me so why she should feel obliged to keep to that schedule?

A girl will tell me that they will love me forever. I chuckle. I know she feels it that way but we may break up a few weeks later and a few months later she might be married to another guy. It doesn't mean that her love is fake. It is just how girls are :)

Chase Amante's picture


They ask me why this girl who agreed to have a date can cancel so minute? That is so rude!

Yes, it's funny, isn't it?

Next time that happens, ask the girl: "Well, hmm. Have you ever cancelled on a date the day of?"

Most of them will say "yes but." As in yes, but it's not rude because I had a good reason.

However, because they feel emotionally associated to you, they take it as a personal insult that some girl would have the audacity to do that to YOU. They don't realize it is just another girl-guy combo, doing the same they have done in some of their own girl-guy combos.

A girl will tell me that they will love me forever. I chuckle. I know she feels it that way but we may break up a few weeks later and a few months later she might be married to another guy. It doesn't mean that her love is fake. It is just how girls are :)

Yes! You've got it. Just how they work.

"I will love you forever." *

* so long as I continue to feel the way I feel right now.


Robinhood's picture

I think i employ confusion game too but unintentionally as im busy mostly and get back to girls when i get time and am moody/brooding by nature. Do u think its feminine behavior? It works though. Also, i am a comprehensive shopper lol :/

Related to gropocalypse article and Franco's comment.. Girls revealing their bad behavior pre-emptively to avoid consequences. I have noticed the same with me and my friends. If a girl is involved with his boss or anyone she's attracted to, she wont reveal if she thinks no one will know/it happened in private. But if it she suspects it might get back to u.. one of ur friends/acquaintances was there, she will tell u herself so u hear it from her instead of others and not get mad at her as much. Very clever i think. How to tackle these kind of confessions from girls? Is walking away the right response? Is this normal or only kooky girl behavior? And i am not talking about all out sex, can be flirtation/kiss on cheeks/hugs.

When girls aren't getting on with the program like coming out on a date and i throw the ball in their court, they act a bit indignant about it. Why? I think its faux indignation

Chase Amante's picture


Haha. So long as it works, it doesn't much matter if it's 'feminine' or not. There are plenty of men who are superficially quite feminine but who excel with girls.

Women making confessions... I'd just cut them off: "Ah, I don't really care about that."

When girls aren't getting on with the program like coming out on a date and i throw the ball in their court, they act a bit indignant about it. Why? I think its faux indignation

Yes, faux indignation.

I do that to girls too, when they are that way with me over something I'm flakey about: "Why were you like that? I told you to just wait a minute!" (and then girl will say I didn't think you were coming, or what, do you want me to wait forever? or something to that tune)

Just a fun thing to do. There is probably some social function to it, like lightening the mood a bit. I'm not entirely sure why I do it when I do it or why girls do it when they do it... just kind of a flirty fun thing I guess.


Hum's picture

I wish you had made this article YEARS ago. It's so fundamental to understanding women. I've never thought about it in this framework, but women now don't seem crazy at all in this light. They are just playing a different game so their strategy is different. This sexual strategy then bleeds into all the other spheres of human activity. It makes perfect sense.
I pop in here once in a blue moon, but I've been reading for years. In terms of value to me, this is the single best article you have ever produced. Honestly, as I reflect on my experiences with women, thinking about it through the lens of this article just makes me chuckle. Fuck man, I adore women.

Just fix up the formatting errors ( ctrl f woman change).

Chase Amante's picture


In terms of value to me, this is the single best article you have ever produced. Honestly, as I reflect on my experiences with women, thinking about it through the lens of this article just makes me chuckle. Fuck man, I adore women.

Very nice to hear this. Glad the perspective is a good one :)

Just fix up the formatting errors ( ctrl f woman change).

I searched for that phrase ("woman change" - also tried "women change") but didn't see it. BT might've gotten to it earlier though and patched it up already... might be why.


blogster's picture

great explanation. the shopping analogy made me laugh, definitely my shopping approach is very mission oriented, like a special forces op.

i take it you would advise men to screen and seek information just as hard during the initial stages of an actual relationship but (i.e., when dating seriously for a few months?)

Chase Amante's picture


Once you're in a relationship, I generally suggest passive screening.

If you screen actively too hard, it'll seem kind of off to her and put her on the defensive a lot. Women are sensitive to screening, especially ongoing screening, and will adjust what they show you if they feel like they are under a lot of scrutiny (i.e., they will be on their very best good girl behavior, so you conclude they are chaste good girls and not naughty bad girls). Plus, it's going to be a lot of extra work to actively screen a bunch.

So instead stay chill, and put on your passive screening goggles instead. You should continue to keep your eyes open for hints and signs she may not be all she's cracked up to be, but try not to be too overt about it.


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I know it's not even the recap 2017 article yet, but I want to give you my gratitude (Amante's Thanks article, 2017, p. 2)...joking! would have done it either way!

I have finally reached (Or I think) a state where I walk outside and get girls looking at me.
Not everyone, but 4/20 ratio. It's to a point where it's hard to be fixated on one girl...
In class, there were a couple who were interested but class and fate didn't work out.

I realize, there is something there. Something's changed in me and I'm not even close to where I want to be yet. I worked on fashion and fundamentals, I haven't even gotten down my sexy vibe (working on it) and already have girls looking at me, and some stare to the point where I'M AFRAID, (i know wtf, guys feel it too?) because it feels like i'm being hunted, especially when they stare at you for 30 min straight BEHIND me... it's like "what do you want girl"

So I would like to say, thank you. Thank you for all your guidance.
I wouldn't have made it to this day if it wasn't for you.
Your beacon of light helped me get through my social trench...

And the weird part is, I'm not even done working on myself, not even close...
In essence, I'm still "ugly" and not at my full potential yet, and we've got girls who like me...
So I can't wait until I reach higher levels and witness what happens then...

Speaking of ability with women, I really appreciate how you emphasize on "caring about the girl". Not many people in this area focus on that and to me, that's something I see being really crucial when we get good with girls. To me, I personally found myself giving up girls who have bf and are happy with their bfs.

Girls who happily and excited ask me "When are you free?" after I exchange contact and then send me "Sorry my ex is flying over to see me. I want to see if this goes well again, so probably not a good time to get to know someone now". I threw it in her court, but point being is women are human too. And it's very good to see how you have this element also.

Not boasting ;D but I'm glad to have it too, as later on I'm sure it'll play a critical role when I get better.

Re: So now what?
So thanks for reading my extremely long gratitude letter. I was thinking of posting it on your recap article 2017 along with:

GC is the only good thing in 2017 #TrumpYearBlessings

But yeah, so now approaching the higher plateau, I want to know how to convert these looks (all of them) to results? Now I do the basic just comes to the "weird" stuff.

Here's what I do:
For girls who I just approach anyway (regardless of signals), I do that and I win some and I lose some.
For girls who look though, I would try to catch their view, smile and then walk up.
Having that sexy eye contact (under construction, please hold..) ;)
For girls hovering (funny as heck and cute too how they do it), I turn casually and ask how is their day, or similar.

1. Issue: Some are hard to catch their look, they're sneaky...

You look and they seem to be looking at your direction but their eyes are somewhere else (probably peripheral vision checking you out) and it's like weird... (I found myself thinking what do you want woman ;P) how would you approach these?

Throw in a bus situation and she's in a single seater, standing up and next to her would be pretty off...

2. Issue: They don't wait for you
If a girl is walking past and looks at you, 2 seconds later you two have already passed by each other.
In fact, in this short moment, it's hard to catch her look too sometimes.
How to approach these?

3. Issue: Girls who flirt with you while with other people
This is a funny one. I realize girls have very sneaky ways of letting you know in spite of many people around (like classrooms) and still save their own face (until you point it out).

But when so many people, sometimes it isn't the moment to just do it.
Maybe friends are you, or her friends,

4. Issue: Situation does not permit that time... Hands are tied
Maybe it's moments before final exam and she's legging her legs against your chair and giving you that look (which happened today speaking of!)..

And you're like, "Well I'm doing something right now."
After exam, she's gone and bye bye opportunity.

Timing and opportunity in tough scenarios where your hands are tied,

I tried to close on a few girls in classrooms, but I just can't bump into one of them. Wrong timing and I think she gave up after chasing me for 4 months.

Another girl was staring at me during the exam...
I couldn't open her and that was that.

any bells for these ones?

Re: Pointing her sexually silly out
This is a bit of calibration tips for me. Please advise.
Very similar to chase framing so I feel it's fine to point it out but want to confirm with you.

It reminds me of a question I had..

When a girl makes potentially sexual comments that can be interpreted in a sexual way, clearly it's on purpose.
Usually girls are very careful about these things, especially when it's done multiple times.

So would it be good to point it out?
And different way in "group" or one on one.
And how to use it to lead the interaction to a happy ending (closing)?

I want to use it because she's obviously throwing something out to be teased on.
But I don't want to one-up her in a way. So guidelines or suggestions on this would be great.
Some scenario examples from you would be great. (You have great stories!!)

Here's some of my examples of what I did.
Girl: Why is that butt removable out of all the parts of the human anatomy scrulpture?
Me: Sorry Girl, I know it's tempting but you can't take it. (Chase framing)
Girl: [Bursts out laughing]
Girl: No seriously

Girl: So how did you get here?
Me: blah blah the traffic worked out but I could go either way.
Girl: Both ways huh
Me: Huh
Girl: I know you like both ways XD
Me: Hmm... I thought I turned off the cameras, didn't know I had an audience
Girl: ***** =.= Hey! It was you who said it!

and then I change subject, but somehow it always come back to this both ways and gay jokes.
I actually lost my calm composure and started laughing at this.
It was pretty cute.

Speaking of, not sure why girls love to make gay jokes when it comes to sex topic...
Guess two of the same isn't just a guy fetish ;)

I was curious so I asked one why gay?
Girl: Idk
Me: Is that what you're into ? ;)
Girl: Not into gay porn though

so go figure, I have no idea... maybe a reputation thing to hide up her sexual desires so it's not so "slutty"

Re: When dealing with "brooding" people
You know, the three types of attractive styles in the article you wrote?

What if we have a friend or a girl prospect who is in this state?
How would we interact with them (friend) or build connections and close (girl)?
Talking a lot to make up for their lack of the role is an idea, but it fails to pace their reality.
They feel tired when you ask and talk so much, when they're in the "let's lounge" mode...

Thanks for everything Chase and have a good christmas holiday!

Chase Amante's picture


Very nice to read! I am happy to see you doing so well. You've come quite a ways from where you started off at, in terms of social awareness, the reactions you get from women, and a bunch more.

The weird eye contact ones you're in a bad social position if you've looked but she isn't looking at you and doesn't make eye contact with you once you're looking. Best if you can get her to make eye contact with you before you approach. Otherwise you are in the position of approaching a girl who knows you looked at her (she knows... she was monitoring you peripherally) but who denied you eye contact. The successful approach rate with these girls is quite low. Get her to look at you first - talk to someone else, let her see you be social, etc.

Girls who look at you as they walk past - spin around, catch up to her, tap her on the elbow and make sure you have a big smile on your face when she turns to face you.

No great ideas for the classroom girls. But if they're making eye contact, maybe escalate to hand signals / pointing / gesticulating? I might try using hand gestures to tell her you and me, later. But this is not an area I have a field tested solution for you.

When a girl makes potentially sexual comments that can be interpreted in a sexual way, clearly it's on purpose.

Usually girls are very careful about these things, especially when it's done multiple times.

So would it be good to point it out?

Don't point it out. Just banter with her. Your responses in your examples all looked fine to me.

As far as brooding people, typically you want to cut short the conversation as much as possible. Tell your brooding friend "C'mon, let's go get drinks." Tell the brooding girl "C'mon, let's go back to my place and [whatever - your pull line]." Assuming they like hanging out with you, they'll like that you offered to do something rather than talk and talk.


Robinhood's picture

Hey Lawliet. When girls started implying that i was into guys, i used to get offended thinking it was some kind of insult. But what i have noticed as i advanced is that its just some girls' way of thinking of u as dominant. Just make sure to imply back u will be the man/dominant one in any gay encounter lol they like the idea of u dominating other guys and what better can there be than that ;) Just go along with it even if u arent into guys.

@Chase.. Recently i have been taking this not hurting girls a little bit too far due to new found empathy and cant even approach sometimes because i might disurb girls by approaching them LOL wtf. U recently had a comment that ruthless guys who become empathetic have a difficult time getting back into game and they have to do it differently this time because their old ways dont work for them. I have been going through exactly this for the past couple of months. Can u do an article please on how to get around this issue and whats that different way? I feel like i am having this gamer's block and want to get rid of this excessive empathy so i can get my hands on girls.
I broke up with a girl i really liked few months ago and i am still stuck up on her, making it difficult to go out and pick up. It never happened before to me. This is aggravating my gaming ability further.
In this case, i auto-rejected cause she was pushing for commitment and i refused to give it to her. She has chased when she saw me socially, giving strong eye contact but no texting/social media contact. How do we handle the situation when we auto reject ourselves because of girls bad behavior? Hector's recent article was helpful in this regard but can u exapand a bit on it in the context of a Ltr.
Thanks for ur reply on my other comment. And by 'why' i meant why do they get offended when i throw the ball in their court, even when they werent complying to begin with. I think u interpreted it to be the girls saying 'why' :p

Lawliet's picture

Hey man, glad I helped. Sorry for the late reply. I'm busy with finishing off school and working.

When she says you're gay...


Actually this is a perfect opportunity to tease. She knows she's crossing lines with saying that, so she expects a response from you. More the reason see she's being cute and silly here and play along. Most women are social adept so making a backhanded compliment like this is usually intentional.

Know that she's trying to play banter with you, and have fun with it.

A way to respond to her saying "You're not gay right?"
Note, gay is indirectly related to sex, so she's bringing up some spicy topics nonetheless.
Meaning you can also be a bit more than just playing safe, calibrate it.

So with that said, you can play along and say, "Oh I'm totally gay" (she doesn't expect this)
and then start playfully touching her (she brought up a spicy topic so what you're doing IS PROVOKED BY HER, still calibrate though, always match her or a little less).

Her: You're not gay right?
You: Oh, it's funny you say that. I'm actually.. (put your hand on her thigh with a playful yet sexy smile, eyes and everything) very gay (and then start moving your hands a little, don't get carried away).

She'll laugh because it's incongruent. You're flirting!
Then you can play it off there. You've broken the touch boundary!


Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Forgot add about when she's looking at you and then smiles or maybe not smile and you walk up to her upon noticing her looking, do you open direct?

Or "How's your day going?" Like when she hovers.

Or a rule of thumb for any signals you might think she's giving, any advice or guideline for this
Since I'm lazy, don't want to put out more effort than needed ;) LOLE


Chase Amante's picture


If she looks and smiles or just looks and looks, you can go for something much simpler.

Dramatic stop, big smile, wave: "Hello!" Imagine Ryan Reynolds greeting a girl who did this to him, and you've got it.


Lawliet's picture

I laughed pretty hard when I read about women going silent over text.

There was a time, a girl who i made auto reject, text me after being cold for 11 months.
Then I respond, and ask what's new (If girl texts you and asks you out, how to respond article).
She didn't ask me out but just texted an apology but I used the same procedure.

Then followed with "What say we grab coffee?" after a few days of this exchange back and forth.
Her: You're ded to me

Talk about no idea what happened XD
To this day, I have no idea and still perplexed!


Carlos's picture

I learned avout this from my mom. I knew how to get big compliance demands out of her when her emotions were just right.

I also knew that if we planned something there was a big chance she'd change her mind unless I instilled in her the right emotions.

Cool stuff

kristian's picture

The more shell change her mind. At least from my experiences.

JasonH's picture

Hi Chase,

I've read your articles on how to be sexy a couple of times over the past year and incorporated those things. It's essentially been an upgrade in fundamentals, things like style, slower movements,sexy smiles and voice etc. As well as building muscles and getting to a low body fat percentage has helped too (It's great when women compliment you on things you've worked on and you capitalize on that and set up dates ;) ).
I've also noticed women compliment me on things I'm completely unaware of eg when hooking up with a girl recently she mentioned how sexy my dancing was and that turned her on (I am a dancer) and I thought it was a bunch of other things.
Anyway I'm wanting to improve further, how can the average looking guy be even sexier. Is it a matter of getting to the top 1% for muscles/bodyfat or being exceptionally charismatic? I want to be able to compete with the really good looking guys and have more girls be instantly attracted.

Re sexual confidence:
My sexual confidence has been a bit of a roller coaster. I will sleep with a few women and be able to make them cum: some multiple times and some a couple of times. Then I won't date for a while relapse onto porn and start doubting my size (despite being above average on both length & girth). The first solution is obvious to me; quit porn and that's the plan but I get into this size obsession, if I see a large penis on porn.

How does one build sexual confidence and stop worrying about penis size because it's absolutely ridiculous for someone above average statistically to be worrying about this. It's like someone 6 foot worrying if he's tall enough.

1. How do you mentally deal with the thought that she might've been with a larger partner and to come to terms and total acceptance with your own size.

2. How do you deal with tests like 'X had a pretty big penis' or 'I was with guy who had X size'

3. How do you build up sexual confidence and walk into sex knowing you're going to be blowing her mind on an emotional level. I know a couple guys who have women coming back for multiple rounds and their all around average size, they just seem to not give a fuck, the idea of size is not even a passing thought. How do you adopt this mentality about sex?

Thanks Chase!

Chase Amante's picture


Well, diminishing returns with everything, unfortunately. The first however-many pounds of muscle or gobs of charisma you add in have the biggest effect. As you go along, you get less impact per level of improvement.

Still worth improving your fundamentals in any area you can, where you have the bandwidth to. But look for low-hanging fruit first. If you have good style, movement speed, smiles, voice, muscle, body fat, charisma, etc., look for other areas you haven't focused as much yet. There's a list of some here:

How Many Attraction Factors are There? Infinite

If you're out of low-hanging fruit and want more attractiveness, then yeah, pick the ones you like best (say, charisma, muscles, body fat percentage) and level those up. They will still help, you just won't see the same level of dramatic gains when you go from 'decent' to 'above average' you saw as when you went from 'poor' in those areas to 'decent'. Of course 'top 3%' is still notably better than 'decent' or even 'above average' - it just takes longer to get there and more hard work.

On penis size... yeah, that's all pornography consumption and comparison. Stop watching porn and that'll mostly go away.

The other aspect is sleep with more girls, if you can. I never watched penis porn (always found it hard to get off with some guy's penis in front of my face), but despite never seeing other men's penises I still had this as a small worry for a bit when I was less experienced.

Once you've been naked with enough women though, you stop caring. I've had enough women see me naked/cold/shriveled/small-looking at this point it's irrelevant. If some girl thought my cock was small I'd find it amusing. 'Cause it's still going in her pussy anyway! :D

I suggest shagging more girls. It really is a great cure for penis size worries. You could have a 4" cock, but after a certain number of shags you will not give a hoot any longer.

The "ex-boyfriend had a bigger penis than you" issue is really only relevant to girlfriends (otherwise, it doesn't really matter if the last guy's penis was the size of your arm, you're not going to see her again after. Just do a good job, show her a good time, and that's that). I've had girlfriends who'd had bigger lovers before. It never worried me though. So long as the girl is orgasming on me, I don't see why another man's penis would be relevant.

Kind of like if you've been with a girl with a tighter pussy than your current girl, or bigger tits. She'll be insecure about that if you tell her that, of course. But you're probably not going to ditch her just over her B-cup breasts.

Really though: quit the porn. Get some more notches. And focus on being a great lover who gives girls piles of orgasms.

The rest will take care of itself.


Wanderlust's picture

Just ended a 6-day 'relationship' with a girl I met travelling where she didn't want to have to have sex with me on the last two nights - Was bummed at first, but now trying to understand why she changed her tune?

Maybe you can give some insight! Now for story time, will try keep it in parts....

1) The chase:

- Met this girl on the night bus to another city and we hit it off straight away. She matched my dark sense of humour / sarcasm with her own.

- Did a trek with her the next day, made out with her in a lagoon. The next night bedded her as we watched a movie but there was a little bit of resistance.

2) The weird honeymoon phase

She didn't want sex the next morning. However, after day of biking together was able to get intimate with her again in the shower at the end of the day (with less resistance).

Next two days we travelled to another city together. It was getting a little 'couply' e.g. holding each other in public, spooning on the bus, even kissed me in public. Nonetheless, we both joked about the whole 'relationship', knowing that it was casual / fun.

During this time however, I always had to be the one to initiate for sex. And everytime I pushed I had to get past a bit of resistance. The night before we left this city I really pushed for it (as I hadn't been able to cum in a while -sorry for the details!) and she flat out said no.

Then I pulled back (and might of looked a little upset). Then she began to initiate and then we got intimate. I was left feeling confused. Was it pity? I wasn't sure.

That night we went out, got drunk, both met a bunch of people. A lot of guys were hitting on her and she defs enjoyed the attention, but in the end she still went home with me and again intamacy.

3) End of the honeymoon phase

Next morning, we had sex again. About 5 minutes in I stopped being in the mood for some reason and told her to pack up as we had to get to the next city.

I'd say from this moment onwards she started becoming much more cold, dramatic and much more of a

I don't think I handled it that bad as I remained calm and was still making her laugh throughout the day...but nonetheless we didn't have sex again for the rest of the time were together. And our conversations became dull too.

Soz for the rant but i'm confused.

Was it because:
a) We were getting too relationshipy? (She even told me "My biggest fear is becoming a couple that travels together" ...but it's not like she didn't encourage it e.g. kissing me in public, saying come visit her in her hometown)

b) I suddenly stopped fking her and she got offended?

c) something else

Any type of insight would be amazing haha ;)

~ Confused dude with wanderlust

Add new comment

The Latest from