Social Commentary

A reader on the article about girls with boyfriends writes in with a sentiment I’ve noticed popping up increasingly often on GirlsChase.com:

“But what really saddens me is the feminist undertone that lurks all around this thinking that on the other side look like male dominance. And the question is: Why is it men that have to become perfect? Why is there no such a need for women? Leadership, selfish genes, everything I already know. But I want a higher standpoint. Why are men the only ones that have to step up, and not women?”

This is one that in fact I’ve answered repeatedly in the comments sections of various articles... but I realize not everyone reads those, they’re kind of hard to search / keep track of, and new people roll in and wonder the same things, especially if there isn’t a single place strictly for answering a particular question. So it’s time for it to get a dedicated article.

Why don’t women have to improve? Why don’t women have to step it up? How come they get a free pass... while men have all this pressure to “be perfect”?

It doesn’t seem very fair.

The fact is though, there is TONS of pressure on women to step it up and be perfect – including, indirectly, on this site.

However, this is a men’s site for men, and asking GC to write chastisingly-worded “You better shape up your act, ladies – or else!” articles for women misses the point – that we are here to instruct men who want to up their results, rather than to be just another shrill voice haranguing those who don’t want to “follow the rules” and tell them that they’d better get their acts in gear.

In a recent article of mine I discussed “sexual freedom”, and there we covered not only what sexual freedom was but also discussed different argument for and against it. However, it is very obvious that my post was very pro sexual liberalism.

To recap quickly, in that post we described sexual liberalism as a position that allows individuals to engage in, without any judgement from others, their desired sexual practices. Most Western countries for instance do not legally restrict all that many sexual practices between two consenting adults.

Yet we agreed that sexual freedom should have some limits. For example, we would all agree here that we should not be allowed to rape anyone (I really hope you all agree!) nor cause any severe long-lasting harm to our sexual partners – like most of us would find it noxious that someone went around spreading HIV on purpose.

In other words, we want consensual sex and to minimize the possible harms of certain sexual practices. But pretty much these limitations of sexual freedom serve one and only one purpose: maximize and protect the sexual freedom of each individual. Think about it: how much sexual freedom does a rape victim have when she is being raped?

But what about other restrictions? What about sleeping with other people’s partners? What about women “slutting around” or men “perving around”? And finally, what about monogamy and the conservative family?

I hope you are all ready for some seduction related philosophy. I know I have been writing a lot of practical stuff lately (such as techniques and tactics you can use to seduce women), so today, we will do some theorizing. This is an introduction to the field of sexual ethics, and today’s topic will be Sexual Freedom.

As this is a discussion of ethics and morals, I will respect that everybody has different values. Some here might have a strict religious backgrounds, whereas others not. Some might prefer a conservative view around sex, others a more liberated one.

However, I would make it clear that this post is basically my personal argument. I believe that sexual freedom and liberty is the pillar of the art of seduction itself, and therefore I believe my views are congruent with the school of thought that Girls Chase is built upon.

We’ve discussed various different avenues men use (and you can tap) to meet new women on here in the past:

• Day game
  
• Social circle
• Bars and clubs
• Dating at work
• Girls out shopping
• Online dating
• Mass transit
  
• Beach game
• Gym game
  

I favor cold approach personally, but you can certainly make social circle or workplace dating or online work, and in fact that’s how most men meet their women.

And that’s what I want to talk about today: how you meet women and barriers to entry to those avenues.

Because in a lot of ways, meeting girls is just like doing business, and barriers to entry are no exception; the lower these are, the higher the competition, and the tinier the rewards.

The guys that eventually start to “get” women all have one thing in common: they ALL realize that being consistent with women is just not as simple as they thought it was going to be... and they step up to the challenge.

In this article, I’m going to tell you why the white knight attitude has to go, and I’m going to give you some clues as to what you should do instead.

First off, what is a white knight and why does it have anything to do with not stepping up to the challenge with women?

A white knight is the name given to a certain type of blind optimism, and it is a mindset that is very common amongst guys who are yet to take the demands of being good with women seriously.

White knight behaviours include things like:

• Putting women on pedestals

• Making the girl your only focus

• Speaking overly intelligently (faking)

• Taking everything at face value

• Rushing to judgement in order to peripherally impress women or “hold your ground”

• Pretending you are asexual (no sexual motives)

• Posturing, or running an “impress the damsel” routine

• Putting up strong barriers in an attempt to appear like you have good traits like honesty, faithfulness, infatuation, cleanliness, agreeableness, etc.

• Roping girls into romantic relationships because they gave you some signals

Have you ever congratulated yourself for something you thought you did really well, only to later discover you actually overlooked huge details and what you were doing wasn’t even half as good as you imagined it was?

White knighting is a result of the same phenomenon. We think we are clever, until the penny drops later that we are actually messing up very important details that are crucial to long-term viability of our behaviour.

I want to make a brief side trip from seduction today to talk about a broader social distinction you will run into that it’s vitally important to understand.

That is the distinction between artificial hierarchies and personal appeal.

In the broader social arena, when it comes to getting hired on jobs, or dealing with legal issues, or negotiating mano-e-mano, or differentiating even between social circle game and cold approach pickup, you’ll find that most people seem to be stronger in one area – navigating and leveraging artificial hierarchies, or appealing to and swaying individuals personally – than they are the other.

And when you’re in your element, you will often find things easier; conversely, when you’re out of it, things will often become fiendishly hard and you will not know why.

The reason why frequently is because you’re trying to achieve your objectives using the wrong strategy for the situation at hand... because each of these two types of power structures require very different approaches.

Very few people ever come to grasp this well enough to move fluidly back and forth between the two.

I happened upon an article entitled “An Open Letter To My Future Wife: How I Plan To Make You Happy Every Day Of Your Life” earlier today, written without a doubt very sincerely to the author’s imagined future wife – here’s a short excerpt:

“I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.

I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you.

I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see when you’re surprised, inspired, motivated or when you are about to lean in to kiss me.

I promise to hold your hand when we’re 80 years old with the same liveliness that I did when I crossed that line to hold yours for the first time. I vow never to let the excitement of dating me die down; I will surprise you with the location, the reason or the activity itself.

I promise to keep you guessing where we’re going next.  I promise to do my best always to interest you. I will keep reinventing myself, gaining new hobbies, new knowledge and new interests to keep you — and myself — entertained.”

... and it goes on like this for quite a bit.

At the bottom of the article are plenty of Facebook comments from girls praising (sort of) the article, of course, saying things like:

There’s even a female commenter saying (jokingly) “Marry me!”

But of course, no one’s actually lining up to marry this guy... despite all he’s promised.