(2) Intermediate

A reader named Nick writes in with the following question, wondering how to check out a girl:

“Hey Chase,
        Love the site! Incredible and concise/no B.S. information! I didn’t see where to shoot you a questions but I was interested in your take on checking out women. Is there a right and wrong way to do it. One that makes them feel sexy and shows my masculine presense vs just being another guy chicking out a great ass or pair of phenominal tits. Would love to see an article on checking out women the right way so that both parties (especially me) enjoys it. I live in NYC and it’s coming up on good weather. It’s sometimes hard (pun intended) not to look. Cheers!

Nick”

The short answer to Nick is yes – there absolutely is a way to check her out in a way that makes you come off strong, masculine, and sexually appealing, and that turns her on and makes her excited to be getting checked out by you.

And there are also plenty of ways that instantly make you “just another guy” checking her out, too.

What’s the difference? It’s what we’ll discuss in this article.

So let’s have a look at how to check a girl out in a way that actually turns her on, and makes her want to get to know you – rather than the opposite.

What’s the greatest single key to being able to converse with girls in a relaxed way, not put too much pressure on yourself, be sexual, and then pull them home?

It’s not looks. It’s not confidence. It’s not being well-dressed. These aspects are all important, however, the single greatest key to being able to converse with any girl is momentum.

You can take the most talented, socially suave guy in the world, and throw him in a social situation on an off day, and he’ll look like an awkward, uncalibrated beginner.

And every guy who gets consistent success with girls understands the principle of momentum. Especially because the high value men understand what it means to work extremely hard. When you spend all day on the grindstone – on your computer, on pieces of paper, on the phone… the last thing you feel like is a social dynamo when you step out of the door.

That’s why you need to learn to converse with anyone and everyone around you.

If you can learn how to start a conversation with anyone, you can learn how to get yourself warmed up and talking to the hottest girls in any situation. And it’s no pressure, it’s not like you’ll ever see these people again (or maybe if you make a good connection, you could).

Sounds easy, right? So why doesn’t every guy go and start a conversation with anyone and everyone?

This question is exactly what I’m going to address today, along with how you can overcome your own fear of strangers and use conversations with anyone in any situation to help boost your energy and get you ready to seduce the hottest of women.

Let’s go.

I was sitting in a cafeteria having a quick bite to eat the other day when I saw an elegantly dressed young woman in a long but casual summer dress stroll in at the far side of the cafeteria, turn about slowly and elegantly as she assessed her surroundings – perhaps looking for someone, or perhaps just deciding if there was anywhere here she wanted something to eat from – before at last turning and walking back out the door she’d come through again, still with great elegance.

I’ve been thinking about elegance lately, and its cousin, sexiness. It occurs to me that taken together, these two qualities can largely describe every attractive person out there: he or she is either elegant, or sexy, or some mix of both.

It also occurs to me that almost no one out there really is all that elegant or sexy at all... neither the men nor the women, and it doesn’t matter where in the world you go to or what country you visit.

There are lessons here, for what you look for in a mate, what you allow yourself to feel entitled to enjoy, and how you construct yourself, and I think they’re all worth peeling back.

We recently moderated yet another comment where the comment author (a woman this time, though we get both men and women doing this) weighed in with something like, “I think this only works on women who aren’t as strict about who they sleep with or are more sexually open.”

We get comments like this sometimes.

The non-politically correct way of saying what she just said, of course, is, “This only works on sluts.”

This is a pretty common viewpoint among first-time readers of seduction-related materials, male and female alike. They read it; it grates with their belief systems; and they respond back stating that they’re pretty sure this only works on XYZ category of women that does not include them (or does not include the women that they date or want to date or have a crush on if they’re male).

And they make the statement that, “This only works on sluts,” and feel much better about themselves.

There, says the woman, now everyone knows that *I* am not a slut, and this would never work on *me*.

At last, says the man, someone has set the record straight, and shown these people that women like my precious Esmeralda would NEVER go for a man like this.

Yet, out of the black-and-white polarities of the all-text Internet, the real world is far more nuanced than those who would polarize womankind into “good girls” and “sluts” would have you (and themselves) believe.

A topic that surfaces among men of all skill levels is understanding what women are looking to get out of their lives. It seems like women are much more fleeting with their greater desires than men are.

However, there are some general themes that I believe dictate how women act in their daily lives and in the long term. Women expect many things, and they are looking for a lot of fulfillment in their lives.

And one great source of that fulfillment can be a good man. Or more specifically, you. So I want to talk about what women are looking for in general, and then frame the actual top ten list in terms of how women expect men to fit into the overall scheme of their lives.

Note from Chase: this is a guest post from Darius B. over on Sexy Style for Joe. Darius has really overdelivered here putting together a comprehensive and classy post on getting your summer style tightened up exceedingly well to make you look stylish, attractive, and put-together. This our second post devoted exclusively to men’s fashion, after our 2013 piece, “Fashion for Men: The Primer on Looking Amazing.” If you’re ready to get suited up for summer and get yourself looking crisp and sexy, this article from Darius will leave you in excellent shape. Here’s Darius.

Can you feel it? Summer is getting closer and the weather is getting warmer every day. Well, even if you can’t feel it yet, I’m sure you’ve noticed how sexy women look on those beautiful days when they drop layers upon layers of unnecessary clothing and swap their sweaters and jeans for light, almost see-through sundresses. Ah… just writing about it makes my imagination go wild.

But what about us, men? The signature tight dress shirt and blazer or coat with a scarf to accessorize that used to get the job done in making us look sexy as hell is not exactly a comfortable option on warmer days, as we’d be sweating like a shy teenager on his first date.

We also don’t really have a clothing equivalent to what sundresses and cut off shorts are to women. The best the fashion industry has managed to come up with are shorts that either look very unflattering on most physiques or that are straight up lame and make even male models look asexual.

And so, is it possible for us to dress on the hot summer days in a way that make women go “Wow, who’s that guy?”?

Yes. Though summer brings a set of challenges to dressing sexy as a man, it also enables us to go for a bit more of a raw, sexual look, without appearing try-hard.

This article in turn is about giving you some ideas on great styles of clothing for summer and helping you build outfits that will not only look very sexy on you, but will also feel comfortable. We’ll start off with some core concepts, followed by some tips on picking (or not picking) specific items, then sum it all up with some practical examples you could model.

While growing up, women always meant one thing to me: girlfriend material. Women were always potential lovers; never once did it slip into my mind that I could be friends with them.

It wasn’t until I started racking up lovers that I felt the need to slot women into particular roles in my life. I couldn’t (and didn’t) want to sleep with every woman that came into my life, because some women ended up becoming a bigger headache than they were worth as lovers.

However, I began to realize the importance and utility that a mutual friendship could produce. High status women are excellent for social fulfillment, preselection, and they can help you get a closer look at how women act on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, I ran into quite the conundrum. I would harmlessly flirt with women, only to find myself sleeping with them and having our friendships break down. Women would seek sex from me, and I would give it to them, thinking we could still be friends afterwards.

After all, it was just sex.

As I quickly began to realize, I was ruining potential friendships and potential lovers by flipping in between definite roles. The relationships were in some weird middle of the road status, and things would become awkward in a hurry when neither of us knew how to proceed.

What was the underlying problem for me?

I wasn’t defining our relationships roles from the outset. The perpetual chaos that ensues in this situation works against producing stable relationships and causes them to break down. I lost plenty of women because of my indecisiveness, and you could too if you don’t know where each woman belongs in your life.